Title: Bittersweet
Summary: The moment Audrey Serena Waldorf-Bass entered the world, everything changed. Some for better and some for worst. He was lost, trapped, isolated and the only thing that kept him moving was the little girl in his arms. The girl who looked so much like her mother already and would be an exact replica of her when she grew up. He couldn't even spot a single feature of his on her. Angst. Chuck\Blair. ONESHOT
Authors Note: OK. I'm addicted too writing angst or sad stories. It's official. I need help. I have a few chapters\oneshots written up for my fluff fic but I have nothing written for It's Nearly Midnight yet and I don't think I'm going too finish it at the moment. I've tried writing something but it's hard and Chuck's mother actually died in this. This is meant to be really short, like really really short.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
He looked at the little girl in his arms. She was perfect. She had ten fingers and ten toes and she looked exactly like her mother. She had her mother's doe-brown eyes and the few pieces of hair she did have were the same shade of her mothers. Her nose looked exactly like her mothers too and so did her lips. He couldn't spot a single feature of his on her but he didn't care because she was perfect. She was his baby girl and he would do everything possible too protect her. He cradled the baby girl in his arms and placed a soft kiss on her forehead. She had been in this world for exactly four days and she still didn't have a name. Her mother wanted too name her Audrey Serena Waldorf-Bass but he didn't want that, not anymore. He wanted too name her after her mother but he knew that wouldn't be what said mother would want. He could barely think straight when he received the news. It was his worst fear come true, he could barely function. Something had happened in the delivery and he was pushed out, his thoughts went straight too his unborn child. Did she or he make it? The doctors confirmed that he had a baby girl, a healthy baby girl and if it wasn't for her he didn't know what he would do. Probably extreme but this little girl, this little girl who resembled her mother so much needed him. Relied on him. He swore too himself he wouldn't turn into his father and neglect her, blame her for her mother's death. He would be there every step of the way, he would raise her, teach her right from wrong, he would spend every single spare moment he had with her. He wouldn't let nannies and au pair raise her. That was his job and he would make sure that she knew he loved her every single day. He smiled as she grabbed his finger even if inside he was hurting, even if inside he could barely breath. He knew he had to be here for this little one, he was her everything. His father might of fallen apart, but he was stronger then his father ever would be and he could just imagine Blair telling him not too break down, not too fall apart and so he wouldn't even if all he wanted too do was curl up in a ball and die but then at the same time he didn't want too die, he didn't want too miss out on any part of his baby girl's life. He put his baby into her cot next to thei-his bed once she was asleep and slipped into bed himself. He wanted too lose himself too the darkness, where he wouldn't have to think about his wife's death. His wife's death which had left him trapped, alone and isolated excluding his daughter, he hadn't seen anyone since Audrey's birth. It was too painful for him. Sometimes he find himself being unable to breath, or feeling as if somebody was kicking him over a thousand times and stabbing him all over his body. He let a single tear slip down his cheek before furiously wiping it away. He wouldn't cry, he won't cry, he shouldn't cry, he can't cry. But it was too much, when his little girl was in his arms everything felt alright because it felt like he had a reason too live, someone too live for but when she wasn't there, his thoughts turned back to the first girl he had ever loved. His heart ached and yearned for her. He wanted nothing more to be able to wrap his arms around her and too kiss her. He couldn't help but blame himself for her death, it was his fault. Just like it was his fault his mother died. If it wasn't for him insisting that they try for children she would of never of died but then he wouldn't of gotten Audrey. He shut his eyes tighter, trying too block out all the thoughts and pain that were engulfing him at the moment. He felt like he was burning in a fire, being burned too the core. He felt as if everything was falling apart, for the past few nights he had felt the exact same way. He threw the blankets off of his body. It was too early too go to sleep, too light and way too painful. He got up and walked over too his daughter's crib, he would watch her sleep, that way he would see his little angel instead of nightmares.