Standard disclaimers apply to all the characters of Naruto by Masashi Kishimoto. I don't own them, so don't sue.
AN: Please keep in mind that this is Alternate Universe before you come blasting at me with spit bombs.
Senseless,
By Winterwing3000
When she first met him, she knew instinctively that his character was complex and his background was dark like his eyes. He was a lone wolf for the most part, save for the best friend slash rival that he immediately incurred the minute he stepped through the classroom doors. He was the tall, dark and handsome of every girl's high school fantasy.
And like many girls, Sakura fell for him at first sight. But she didn't expect to fall into the dark trade that revolved around the school's underground society.
She was caught, nowhere to go. It was live or die.
Somehow the moment she fell through the rusted door, she knew that it was the end. The small room smelled of damp soil and moldy boxes. A single yellow light hung from the ceiling with a cracked ceramic shade. A creaky and rotten round table sat in the middle of the room with six seats around it. It was like a horror movie scene where the detective stumbled into the crime scene with all the culprits and the only solution was death.
Classmates and schoolmates stood up and surrounded her the moment she landed on the cold cement floor, scraping her palms and knees.
Words from their conversation ran through her head a mile a minute and her heart rammed repeated against her ribcage. She looked up at them speechless from fear.
Naruto's expression went from shock to grim determination. She could see him struggle for a minute before lifting his leg to break the circle toward her direction.
Too bad Sasuke beat him to it.
"You're late," the dark haired man said, bending down to grab her by the forearms. He tugged her up and reflexively, her own hands latched onto his arms for support.
Sakura could feel the atmosphere shift and flinched when she saw the change of expressions on the other men's faces.
"She's the countermeasure I was speaking about," Sasuke told them while guiding her to a seat around the table. "And she won't fail us."
Mindlessly, she sat down on the couch. Sakura stared down at her hands where she could still see the hideous nail polish crusted with dried blood. The coppery tang still lingered in her nostrils.
Sasuke came into the room with a basin, a stubby brush and a towel. He set it down on the table in front of her and sat in the armchair next to the couch.
"Wash your hands," he stated.
She lifted her emerald gaze to the soapy water then turned her head to face her companion of crime. "… Where's Naruto?"
He slipped his hands into his pant pockets and leaned back into the chair. "He's cleaning up."
Cleaning up, Sakura thought idly as she dipped the tips of her fingers into the basin. The water was warm and made her chilled fingers tingle.
As her body shifted into auto-pilot and her right hand began to scrub at the evidence with the bristly brush, she wondered how many times she will have to repeat this process now that she entered the wheel of death in the shadows.
"I can't do it anymore!" she half sobbed and half shrieked as Naruto reluctantly approached her with another black enveloped tied from top to bottom with a navy blue ribbon. Sasuke was hanging by the doorway with his arms crossed at his chest.
"Sakura…" Naruto's baby blue eyes softened in pity. He reached out for her but she slapped his hands away. For the first time, he flinched at her reaction.
Sakura shook her head violently, gasping for breath. "No more, please. Naruto, please."
"You can't." Sasuke spoke up from his place. His onyx eyes stared directly at her, piercing her to the ground she stood. "None of us can."
She felt her knees give away and she let herself fall onto her hands. "I didn't ask for this! When I said I'd do anything, I didn't ask for this!"
"Then do you want to die instead?" he asked her. "Because you still can."
"Sasuke!" Naruto raised his voice in anger. "You jackass! What are you doing?"
"Stay out of this, Naruto. She gave her word," Sasuke spat with an unusual fire blazing in his eyes. "It's either her or the rest of us. And if she hasn't realized it yet, she might as well kill herself and spare herself from watching you, me and the others go down after her."
"You can't control me!" Sakura screeched. Her hands clenched into fists and she pounded both into the carpet floor. "Stop manipulating me like some sort of doll! Have you ever thought about how I feel each time I get this stupid calling card!"
The raven haired male roughly grabbed her by the upper arms and hauled her to her feet with her kicking and screaming. She struggled against his ironclad grip with a fire unknown to man.
"This is our fate!" he said to her in a deep and dangerous tone. His words froze her entirely.
And then she laughed. It was a hollow and mad laugh. "Fate…"
High school was drawing to a close. Entrance exams to universities were over. University selections were listed. And she was prepared to move as far away as possible.
She did. She fled half way across the world to a small little school in the countryside of France. She escaped the vicious cycle of executing what was meant to be heaven's decision, not man's decision.
But Sakura knew that it wouldn't last very long. She tried to believe that it would—but it didn't.
Barely four years into her studies as a nurse and a black card came to her door. Along with the last two people she wanted to see.
And she was taken away from her life there without a trace.
For three months, she barely lived. She ignored the cards sent her way—they were burned or torn into unrecognizable shreds.
Naruto persisted in visiting her, talking to her, being with her. Sasuke came by every other week, either with a card or with a contemplative gaze. He never spoke to her, only watched her as if she lived in a zoo.
Then one day, a roommate arrived. Yamanaka Ino was a spritely woman with endless chatter. Sakura couldn't help but be attracted to the vivaciousness and come out of her shell. They cooked, they cleaned and they did everything together. They laughed when they did something stupid, they cried when they watched sappy romances, they screamed when they forgot to take out the trash and they whispered when they shared their deepest secrets.
Except for one. But now, it was no longer a secret.
And it wasn't until Ino became a victim that she realized once more she was played by Fate.
It was hard, it was devastating and it was time. The others refused to help her despite her plea. Even Naruto stood with his face turned to the side.
"It's your card, Sakura. And you know that well," Sasuke told her. Sakura sunk to her knees and her fingernails bit into her palm. "It's your fault that Yamanaka was taken and yours alone."
A set of daggers clinked merrily as they landed on the floor in front of her. Her choice of weapon. Dull viridian eyes noticed the curved hilt and the ornate vine carved onto the length of the blade. They shined with recent polish and sharpening. She could already envision the crimson staining the silver surface. She could smell the coppery tang as the blood dripped from the tip.
She could see Ino's cheery face reflected on the flat side of the daggers.
"Sakura…" Naruto knelt in front of her. "This is not for us. This…"
She looked up. Her eyes were hardened. "It's for myself. I know."
Anger, regret, resentment boiled over. She was bleeding outside and screaming inside. The dark and furious sky poured sheets down to the alley way. She wanted to think it was crying for her, but she knew better.
"Why did it ever have to be me?" She pounded her fist into the brick wall. "I never asked for this!"
Sasuke watched her vent, fracturing in more places than one. He answered her despondently as he tilted his head upward. "None of us did."
Sakura directed a scornful look at him. "It was you, you dragged me into this! Everything that I did, the crimes that I have committed against myself, against society—it was because of you!"
The male did not stop her as she staggered over, wet and bloody, and began to poke him in the chest. It was different, having her confront him so forwardly. It was different, seeing her trembling—not from fear and shock like her first kill, but from a power within that he knew so well. It was hate.
Her words of fury and poison misguided slipped passed him like a current. He allowed her punches as she reached the climax of her rant and her pent-up everything. Eventually, they grew weaker and then stilled.
Sasuke caught her as she fell from exhaustion. Her distraught green eyes stared blankly up at the sky. She gave a short and callous laugh. "The sky's mocking us, isn't it Sasuke?"
He watched as her eyes slipped close and her head lolled to the side. Sasuke silently picked her up and cradled him in his arms.
"It always has been."
"I'm sorry," Sakura whispered as she watched Shino expertly stitch the large gash at Sasuke's side. Her clothes were still covered in blood. Her hands though were clean. Black gloves sat to the side of her. She felt so small sitting in the dingy back room of the clinic. "I… I got reckless."
"You shouldn't move as much," Shino intoned as he clipped the end of the thread from the knot. He got up and snapped of his latex gloves. They dropped into a disposal as he reached the door. "Call me if you start feeling feverish."
"Hn." Sasuke did not touch his burning wound. Instead, he focused at the wall in front of him. The door swished closed and then there were two.
"I'm so, so sorry, Sasuke…" she muttered again. It was hard to comprehend. Sasuke, a veteran in the business, injured for the first time in never. The perfect assassin nearly fatally wounded because of a simple mistake, a miscalculation, an unforeseen event triggered by her hasty actions.
"Shut up," he grounded out from clenched teeth.
"I'm sorry. It's my fault. If only I had seen it. If only I listened, you…" Sakura choked as she recalled that short moment—an axe flying at her, Sasuke shoving her, blood pooling and Sasuke falling ever so slowly to the ground.
His lightning fast hand shot out and grabbed her by the chin, forcing her eyes to stare into twisted darkness. "Just shut up and listen. I saved you because I wanted to. Nothing more."
It was strange. She noticed that even though he could freely touch her, whenever she reached out to him, he'd flinch and give her the cold shoulder for the rest of the time.
He wasn't like that before she flew out of Japan, only when she returned.
She turned to Naruto with that question in mind and her blond companion gave her a grim look. "Sasuke was betrayed."
Eyes rounded in curiosity. It was difficult to believe. Someone in the organization would actually turn coats and sell out their name. But slowly things fell into place. She quietly inquired, "It was a woman, wasn't it?"
"Yeah," Naruto exhaled as if suddenly the world dropped a heavy burden on his chest. "Her name was Naname."
Sakura rolled the name around in her head. "Naname?"
"His wife. Deceased."
"What do you mean this is the only way?" Sakura asked numbly.
"Everyone is starting to retire," Naruto explained. "We thought it would be less suspicious if we broke into groups and slowly return ourselves to civilian life. Another group is on the rise and soon, we won't be needed anymore. They will take over."
"Take over?" she echoed dumbly. A pounding headache began to form at the back of her head. "After all these years, these past ten years of blood and death, you suddenly tell me it's the end?"
"Yeah, I know what you mean," the blond male sat down across from her. "It's like we're stepping out of the shadows for once and into the light after being in the darkness for so long. But sooner or later, it has to be done. We can't live our lives like this. Not forever, we all… have our own dreams too."
Sakura slammed her hands onto the table as emotions surged high. "Bullshit, Naruto! I had my dreams in my grasp, and what did you and Sasuke do? You pulled me away! So far away now that's almost impossible to get back!"
Naruto silently accepted her tongue lashing. "I know. But I'm not sorry for that, Sakura. We needed you. I needed you. The bastard needed you."
"That's a lie and you know it Naruto. You didn't need any of me," she replied scathingly. "You were afraid. Afraid that I would crack and set the feds on you. Because of what happened to Sasuke. Because of the close call from Naname. You were afraid to be dealt by justice."
"And now you are too," Sasuke's voice interrupted them from the kitchen doorway. They both turned their heads sharply to face their new attendee. His coal eyes were cold and pierced straight through her.
"Don't you try to guilt trip me now, Sasuke!" Sakura snarled. She squashed the urge to flinch as she felt the temperature in the room drop even further. "I'm not afraid! If it is my crimes, I will atone for it!"
For the first time, Sasuke laughed. It was like a bark at the world's stupidity and naivety. What was worse was the words he said to her. They suffocated her.
"You're no different from her. From Naname."
She didn't know what happened. A calm retreat at the bar after a long shift at the hospital ended with a splitting headache and clothes scattered on the floor. Oh, and an equally naked Sasuke in bed with her. At his apartment.
The pink haired woman groaned. It wasn't hard to piece together the missing parts. But how the hell did she get here anyway? She didn't recall seeing Sasuke at the bar. In fact, she hasn't seen him for nearly a year. So why now?
Sakura was tempted to sweep up her clothes and bolt out of the place like a bat out of hell. But the strangle hold that he had on her wrist forced her to remain on the bed. He was clearly awake, with a killer hangover from what she could deduce with his free arm thrown over his eyes, and he was not letting go despite her tugging.
Huffing, she tried to remember that she spited him for what he said back then and that she did not just feel her heart speed up to over fifty miles an hour. She hissed while edging further away from him, "Let go, Sasuke."
He jerked her arm and sent her sprawling back onto the bed. Just before she could struggle any further, he rolled on top of her and kissed her harshly. When he pulled away, she slapped him.
Sasuke said nothing as a redness spread over his cheek. He just stared down at her for a long time. As seconds ticked by, Sakura started to feel slightly self conscious of their bare states. "What?"
"Marry me."
The wedding flew by without much fanfare. In fact, Sakura suspected that it was almost prearranged. They signed the marriage certificate and the list of provisions and the next thing she knew, she was pronounced wife of Uchiha Sasuke.
Why did she marry him? Was it to prove him wrong? To show him that she wasn't the same as Naname? To prove that she was her own person and that she would never betray him? Sakura couldn't think of a solid reason. But she convinced herself that she would do anything just to prove that she was better than the betrayer. That he could trust her.
Their first few months as newlyweds were uncomfortable. They did not share the same bed, but they did meet frequently at nights and saw each other coming out of different rooms every morning. When she was at the hospital, he was at the garage with Naruto. When they both came home, one would cook and the other cleaned. Eventually, she moved her way into his larger room, only for the sake of having a bathroom connected to it she told him.
He only shrugged it off and allowed her in. And just when she started to believe that he was slowly accepting her and letting her into his world, this dysfunctional yet semi-blissful life of a married wife came to a full stop.
It was when they first made love, not the kind of drunken sex or a simple get together when one of them felt like it. She felt loved then. And yet something broke the moment she saw that expression on his face. It was the ghostly smile, the one a person has whenever they think of the past. She was not there in front of him. No. It was her.
When he fell asleep, Sakura stared at the door with blurring eyes. She didn't think that he only asked her out of convenience.
Sakura raised an unsteady hand and knocked on the door. As the door opened, her friend, Ino, smiled in greeting. "Hey! You're here! Are he and his friend coming up later?"
She nodded. "Yeah. Um, can we talk?"
The other woman cocked her head with a small frown on her face. "Sure, something wrong?"
"No, it's just that I wanted to have a girl to talk to, that's all." She smiled weakly at her own excuse.
They walked over to the couch, the door left unlocked. They settled at opposite ends. Sakura hugged onto the white cushion as Ino sat with her feet propped on the coffee table. "So, how's the married life going?" the blonde asked, looking slightly curious.
"Um, it's… okay, I guess," the roseate hair woman said uncertainly. "I'm used to it, I think."
"Really? I think you both are made for each other! He's treating you right, right?" Ino inquired. She sat up straight, shifted so that they were knee to knee, and moved her feet underneath her. "He is right? I mean, if he's not, you can tell me. I'll set him straight."
"He hasn't done anything to me," Sakura answered truthfully, eyes lowered in disappointment and sadness. "It's just…"
"Just?" the other female prompted. Her forehead had folds from her frown.
As she was about to answer, they heard a knock on the door and turned their attention to the door.
"It's opened!" Ino called out from her seat. Two men appeared at the door. One of them was Sasuke, the other, his friend, Naruto.
Sakura watched as he walked into the makeshift living room, Naruto following from behind. He glanced at her and continued toward the opposite end of the room, while the blond male waved. Something akin to a pin prick pierced her. Looking away, she pressed her forehead against Ino's shoulder and closed her eyes. She felt her friend's hand smooth back her pink hair in concern. "Hey honey, what's wrong?"
Suddenly, she blurted, "I want a divorce."
"What!" Ino cried out, looking down incredulously at her. "Why?"
The males froze in mid-step toward the window and looked back over at her.
"I want a divorce," Sakura said, tears forming in her emerald eyes, "Because I'm tired of this."
"But you guys are getting along fine! You're being silly!" her friend said, patting her back.
"I'm tired of it! He doesn't love me! He doesn't!" She lifted her head with tears sliding down her face.
"I'd do anything for him but what has he ever done for me?" she asked, "Tell me! Can you tell me what has he ever done for me?"
Sasuke stared expressionless at her words. Naruto looked between the two, a worried emotion passing through his countenance.
Ino hesitated and also looked at the man and her friend. "I… don't know."
"See! He has never done anything for me! I gave up so much! Yet he has given me nothing in return!" she sobbed miserably. "This isn't a marriage! I can't live like this!"
"Please! I want a divorce," she pleaded, finally gazing straight into his onyx eyes. "Please."
"Stop being like this!" the other female demanded, grabbing a tissue to wipe the tearstained cheeks.
"Please," she muttered weakly, his gaze bearing down at her.
Sasuke blinked and looked over to his friend and shook his head. Naruto gave him a nod of understanding and backed away as he walked over to the two females. He went over to her and crouched down to her level. Sighing, he turned around and picked her up by the legs. Ino quickly helped and lifted her onto his back.
Gasping at the sudden push and unbalance, her arms latched around his neck. Sakura sniffed as he stood up slowly, readjusting her weight on his back. "Stop being stupid," he said without looking at her. Whimpering, she buried her face into the crook of his neck, closing her eyes and tightening her grip.
She didn't speak as he walked out the door and down the stairs, carefully but steadily. Slowly, they reached their apartment and he quickly slipped the key to open the door without letting her off his back. When it opened, he stepped over the threshold and closed the door with his foot before making a beeline to the bathroom. The dim yellow ceiling light glowed and filled the small room with a soft ambiance. Silently, he lowered her onto the counter of the sink.
Sakura watched as he twisted a face cloth dry and stepped in front of her. When Sasuke made no other move, she reached out to take the towel. But he surprised her by bringing it to her face and he scrubbed her cheeks gently. His eyes weren't focused on hers though.
She tensed at the closeness that seemed so different from the usual hand-holding or hugs that she usually initiated. It was most likely one of the few times that he bothered being so close, so gentle with her. It was new, almost, to see this side of him.
As he finished washing her cheeks, he moved the cloth further up to her swollen eyes, his eyes following the path of the face cloth. She drew back slightly when their eyes locked. His eyes were clouded, swirling with intense emotions.
Sasuke lightly sighed and softly brushed the corner of her eyes.
"Close your eyes," he told her.
Hesitantly, Sakura acquiesced. She felt him rub the fluffy cloth across her eyelids, removing the tear stains. Her heart beat rapidly in her chest as her mind whirled to find a logical reason behind his actions.
"Why? Why are you doing this?" she whispered, swallowing a sob. The thought of him finally being tender toward her, showing her even the vaguest form of affection hurt and scared her. The cloth froze in transition to her other eye. She felt him stiffen at her question and felt her heart drop when he didn't answer her.
Tears began to fall again.
The pressure from the face cloth disappeared from her eyes but she kept her eyes closed, refusing to look at him and let him see her cry because of his lack of response.
A gasp slipped passed her lips when she felt his thumb brushed away her tears. Her eyes opened and gave her a bleary image of his face. But his eyes were clear and sharp. He was staring at her with eyes that she has never seen before. They were hardened by determination and frustration even.
"I…" he searched for the right words, yet couldn't form a coherent sentence. He seemed to grow more agitated at his inability to reply properly.
"No." The pink hair woman turned her head to the side, breaking eye contact. "Never mind."
"No!" Sasuke snapped back unexpectedly. "Damnit!"
A weird noise between a gasp and a yelp escaped her when he suddenly cupped the sides of her face with his large, warm hands and pulled her forward. He captured her lips in a clumsy kiss, pouring every fiber of his being into it, willing her to understand his unsaid words. Her hands clung onto the folds of his shirt for balance as she whimpered at the unexpected contact.
He drew away from her, breaking their kiss. She panted lightly and her grip slackened. His hands remained cupping her face. She stared inquisitively at his eyes, which were diverted from her face to the tiled floor.
"W-what was that for?" she stammered nervously, shaken by the emotion he poured into that intimate expression.
He sucked in a breath. His hands trailed down from her face and ended up at her waist. They snaked around her middle and he leaned forward so that his head was cushioned on her stomach. He crouched down to his knees and his shoulders dropped, as if genuinely fatigued.
"I'm sorry…" he mumbled, closing his eyes.
Looking down at him in surprised again, Sakura bit her lower lip, unable to reply. Instead, she hesitantly brought her hand to his head and gently smoothed his wild hair. She just kept on repeating the action, slowly combing his fine locks with her hand. She concentrated on the way her hand moved through his hair, noticing as how his entire body lessened and his breathing evened. Eventually, he lifted his head from her lap and craned his neck to stare deeply into her viridian eyes.
She watched him with curiosity and apprehension. He stood up from his kneeling position, hands still securely wrapped around her waist.
A moment later, he spoke. "I don't want a divorce."
She jerked back but didn't really move anywhere since his arms kept her still. She opened her mouth to respond, but he beat her to it. "I didn't marry you out of convenience."
She became speechless. "I…"
"Please, understand." Sasuke looked at her penetratingly with endless black orbs.
She shook her head. Her hands clenched and shook at her sides. "No. It won't work, I just know it. I don't want you to pity me. I… I just don't want to get hurt anymore."
He steeled his eyes with determination. "I can't promise anything, but you won't. I won't hurt you, ever." He dipped his head toward her. "Please."
A lump formed in her throat as she tried to look away from his eyes but failed. They drew her in completely. And his words, she felt, were sincere. His warm breath fanned across her cheeks, distracting her. The only word that slipped from her lips was "Why?"
His eyes softened, almost glowing in the dim lighting with the intense emotions swirling within. Her breath was caught when he bestowed upon her a rare, heartfelt smile that she only saw when he thinking of the ghost from his past.
"To start anew," He murmured and closed the distance between their lips and engaged her in a slow, sensual kiss.
Closing her eyes, tears slipped from them. Somehow, those words meant more than whatever she wanted to hear from him. The expressions 'I love you' or 'I need you' were completely overwhelmed by what washed upon her as those words escaped him. Swallowing her sobs, she returned his kiss with happiness, winding her arms around his neck and burying her hands in his hair.
He reacted at her response by deepening the kiss. His tongue traced her lower lip, asking for her to part her lips, which she did, and he eagerly slipped his tongue into the cavern. A mewl vibrated from her throat when he pressed her closer to him, placing his hands on her lower back and tipping her head backwards for more access.
Soon, they broke apart, both panting. Her face was heavily flushed and wet with tears. Her eyes were still closed when his hand cupped the side of her face, his thumb brushing away the tears from the corner of her eyes.
He stared down at her, soaking in every detail that defined her. Her short pink hair curling at the ends, framed her heart shaped face. Her long black eyelashes brushed over her upper cheeks. Her slightly parted mouth was swollen and rosy. Her long slender neck was surrounded by a silver ball chain with the ring—the same one that he placed on her finger five months ago—hanging from it.
His hand reached and gently touched the cold gold metal. His finger traced the curved and grooved designs and over the small bump where the diamond was set, wrapped in gold spires. She shucked in a deep breath and opened her eyes, fixing her eyes on his and gave him a watery smile. Shyly she whispered, "Thank you."
Sasuke nodded and lifted her off the counter.
"You should rest," he told her, slipping one hand to grab hers.
She followed him to their shared bedroom, slightly protesting, "What about dinner? It's my turn to cook tonight."
"We can go out later." He opened the door to their bedroom and directed her to her bed, where she settled on top of the blankets. Her green eyes trailed him as he drew the curtains together, closing out the late afternoon sun.
Sakura asked him, "Where will you be?"
"I need to finish some things with Naruto. I'll come back and wake you," he said, approaching the door.
With a contemplating expression in her eyes, she gazed at the floor and spoke. "Sasuke?"
He looked back at her. She lifted her head and smiled at him. "I'll see you later."
Noticeably, his coal eyes softened. "Yeah." He exited without another word.
Sighing, Sakura fell back onto the mattress. The ceiling fan spun in lazy circles above her.
Although she was not completely reassured by the new direction of their relationship, she was content. It was a difficult thing to do, to start over again. Things will still be awkward between them both, but she knew that they'll better. She didn't marry him to replace her. She genuinely loved him, every single part of him, even his past. And she won't repeat what happened to Sasuke and her. She never will.
Closing her green eyes, she smiled peacefully and slipped into slumber.
AN: Completely random, plotless as well. However, I did try my best to bring things together. I don't think it worked out very well. Ah, c'est la vie. Give me some feedback yes?