I.
He sees her for the first time, clutching the pitcher in her hands and studying him with curious grey eyes, and he is struck by her. Fierceness is lighting her eyes and bravery is what keeps her back straight and her chin up. One might think she is afraid, but the look in her eyes suggests otherwise; she's defying him, daring him to hurt her, as if she's a hurricane and he's a mere obstacle in her path. For a fleeting moment, he dares to think that if he wasn't a plague for the people around him, she would be the person whose affection he'd be chasing after.
II.
She's a plague of a girl, invading his every thought and lurking around in the deepest corners of his soul. He can feel her searching for a crack in the carefully constructed wall around his heart. With every passing moment in her presence, he feels her getting closer and closer to the real him, the person he had buried many years ago alongside the memories of his older sister. When the promise of finding out what he really likes slips out of her mouth, he wakes up from the hazy trance she induced him in and pushes her as far way as he possibly can, as if she is truly a plague.
III.
He claims he's pretending when he looks at her with a dazed look in his eyes. She is wearing a different skin; blonde curls have replaced her soft brown locks and big green eyes have taken the place of the familiar grey eyes. Despite that, he can tell that it's her, his Tessa, underneath those blonde curls and the fancy dress. When Magnus catches him looking at her and gives him a strange look, he uses his blank facade once more. Even after that, he keeps telling himself that it was all part of an act, even though he knows, deep down, that it's a lie.
IV.
The holy water makes his head spin and his heart race. It makes him restless. His control slips from his grasp with each bottle of holy water he drinks and pours over his head. So when she sits down next to him on the cold floor of the attic, every emotion he has felt in the weeks he's known her comes to the surface, overwhelming him. Drowning him. And in that moment, it feels like kissing her might be the only remedy, but it only makes the sensation worse. Her mouth against his tastes like words unsaid and vows unspoken. Her hands on his arms, his shoulders, threading through his hair, melt his skin, revealing what's underneath. When it's perhaps too late, he realizes the terrible mistake he's made and with a few simple words, he breaks her heart. Not his, just hers, because his is already broken.
V.
I am in love with her. Those words ring in his head over and over again as he desperately clutches her lifeless body. What a cruel twist of fate, to realize how much he needs her when she's no longer here. To finally see that all along she was the air his lungs were desperate for, the missing pieces of his already shattered soul. When he feels her pulse pounding in her throat, as strong and steadfast as ever, he knows he should be happy. But the moment her eyes settle on his and he notices the strange look in them, his heart turns into a piece of ice. He recognizes that look, the look he's so familiar with, a look mirroring the one in his own eyes. He doesn't hear her when she tells him how she tricked the Magister. He doesn't hear himself talking. He simply pulls her against him and breathes again and stares at the colors the world has lost when she was lifeless. He doesn't say anything when she asks him to say something. Instead, there's another thought ringing in his head. I lost her.
VI.
It is nearly comical how simple words can shatter hearts. He can almost hear her heart breaking, the same horrible sound he had heard when he had kissed her, as soon as the terrible words slip effortlessly from his lips. He can almost taste the bitterness of the unshed tears in her eyes, the ones she will not allow to fall on her cheeks, not in front of him, because she's a hurricane and he's a mere obstacle in her path. When the clouds unleash the pouring rain, as if mirroring the tears she is about to shed, he doesn't flinch. He simply looks up at the sky, he stares God straight in the eye and tells him that he loves her, despite everything, that he will never apologize for feeling it. And when the heavens respond, the sky coming to life with the loud roar of the thunders, there is only one thought in his head.
.
.
.
I have lost everything.
Author's Note: This was originally written to complete a challenge for a network battle on Tumblr, but I decided to post it here as well. I'm actually quite proud of this. Actually, this might be thing I'm proudest of.
On a different note, if you follow me, you may have noticed that I changed my username. As I mentioned in my bio, I used to be The Iron Sister, but I changed my username to embercrown to match my Tumblr (which is linked in my bio).
You also may have noticed that I haven't posted an actual story in a very long time. I'm currently outlining a novel-style Herongraystairs fic which I'm really excited to share with you guys once I have something to post. I can't tell you when I'll get around to post it, but I am trying my best to do that as soon as possible. All I can say about it it's that it's a soulmate AU and I'm having a lot of fun outlining it, though it makes me pull my hair out on occasion.