"Hal! Hal! Hal! Hal!" Cutler runs into the room beaming. Hal lays on his back on the floor with his eyes closed. He's topless but black jeans are covering his lower half.

He responds quietly with his eyes still closed "Yes?"

"They're coming!"

Hal opens his eyes. "Who's coming?"

"The BBC!"

"What? Here?" There's a hint of alarm in Hal's voice now and he turns to look at Cutler.

"Yes! Well, to the park round the corner."

"What?"

"The antiques roadshow! They're filming the antiques roadshow."

"What on earth is the antiques roadshow?"

"Oh come on Hal, I thought you were meant to be learning this stuff, how are you ever going to fit into the modern world if you refuse to take part?"

"Because I don't care?"

"Oh come on, yesterday you were really enthusiastic about this stuff."

"About the antiques roadshow?"

"No... just about... fitting in."

"Well I'm not in the mood."

"Fine, I'll go on my own."

"Fine."

There's long silence. Hal closes his eyes again but Cutler doesn't leave the room. "Haaaal?" He says, after a while.

Hal pulls a frustrated face. "What?" he says sharply.

"Do you have... any really old shit I can borrow?"

"What?"

"Really old shit. You're really old so I thought you'd have some... really old shit."

"Like what?"

"Liiike... antiques?"

"No."

"Oh, come ooooon."

"What even is this? Is it a TV programme?"

"Yeah, you have to take..."

"You're being stupid. You can't be on TV. You won't show up on the camera. You'll just be a floating vase."

Cutler's face lights up. "Have you got a vase?"

"No! You're not going and I'm not giving you anything."

Another pause. Cutler speaks quietly. "But you do have something to give?"

"Go away Cutler."

It is many years later sat on the sofa in Barry with Tom. They are watching old daytime reruns of antiques roadshow. Hal has come to love the banality of such things, it helps him concentrate on things that aren't blood, especially when Tom makes him guess the time period and price. Of course, Hal wins every time. Being alive for longer than five hundred years means he has a pretty good grasp on the dates of things, and hours of watching this programme means he has a pretty good grasp on the price of things, how Tom hasn't managed to acquire an expert knowledge of antiques by now, Hal has no idea. The score is currently 3-1 to Hal . Tom has had a fluke guessing the price of a painting way higher than Hal thought the artistic merit of it warranted. But now appears a terrified looking young girl clutching something small.

"This one's a bit camera shy," says Tom, "look, she's shaking."

The girl unfurls her hand to produce a small golden ring. It is quite dull and battered looking. Hals eyes spring open.

"Fucking hell. That absolute prick."

"Wha? Hal, watch ya language!"

"I'm sorry Tom, but that's... that's my ring!"

"Ah," said the TV antique's expert, "now this is an old thing! From the early 17th century if I'm not mistaken..."

"He is bloody mistaken. It was bought in 1500, do these people just make stuff up as they go along? Honestly!"

Tom stares at him.

The TV man is still taking "...I'd say that it would be worth somewhere in the ballpark of about one thousand pounds really."

Hal doesn't react to the figure just continues frowning with his arms crossed.

"Hal..." Tom starts. Hal doesn't react. "Have you still got the ring?"