Watching every motion in my foolish lover's game
On this endless ocean finally lovers know no shame
Turning and returning to some secret place inside
Watching in slow motion as you turn around and say
I watched as she made her way to me. This was new and different to us, this being physical. But I watched as the fabric of her dress swished and fell to the floor. Here she stood before me, with no clothes on, and I couldn't be with her. I couldn't. My mind was somewhere else. I wanted to be in the moment with Rachel, but for some reason, I couldn't do it. My mind was at the Serafina Rehabilitation Facility in Cincinnati. The one woman I'd adored for my entire life was there. Sallie Anne Carr. The one woman who understood me in this entire world. I looked at Rachel and frowned. This wasn't what I wanted. Well, yeah it was. Just not with her. If Rachel had known just who I'm thinking about I'd be hung. She could tell I wasn't into this, so she pulled away.
"Finn? You okay?"
"Yeah Rachel, that's good…keep going."
I said, kissing her neck softly. We needed to keep this going. I was hoping that the thoughts of Sallie Anne I was having would go away. I couldn't shake it. I lay back and let her keep doing her thing. We were going okay. We were making love, and everything was going fine, until my cell phone rang. I reached over to the table and got it. I looked at it, and answered it.
"Hello?"
"Is this Finn Hudson?"
"Speaking."
I said, watching as Rachel slid off of me. I wrapped the sheets around me and stood up. This was a personal phone call, and I knew it right away. It was the switchboard operator of the Serafina.
"Phone call from Sallie Anne Carr. Do you accept?"
"I accept."
I sat down in a chair and watched as Rachel fell asleep. I put my boxers on and went into the hallway, then snuck downstairs. I knew she'd call me tonight. She always calls me. But this time, tonight it felt different. Something big was coming, and I couldn't figure out what.
"Finn?"
"Sallie Anne…you okay sweetie?"
"Totally fine actually. I'm getting out."
I froze. I was literally frozen to the chair. Sallie Anne was getting out of Serafina. It's been two years since I've seen her, and I won't know how to react. She knows that I'm still here, and she's waiting for an answer. So I had to give her one. I opened my mouth before I could think.
"When do I need to come and pick you up?"
"Tomorrow afternoon about three. You sure you can make it? If not, I'll call Noah and have him come get me."
Puck. The one person who knew about Sallie Anne, and the connection we had. The one person who made me realize just how much I truly wanted Sallie Anne, but was too much of a coward to make the move. I suddenly felt possessive and jealous, and wanted to move my schedule around to go and pick her up.
"Yes. I'll be there. Three pm. Got it."
"It'll be so good to see you, Finny."
"It's always good to see you, Sallie Anne."
I said, hanging up the phone. I snuck back upstairs to bed and laid down next to Rachel. I felt bad making plans to pick up another woman, but I couldn't let Puck pick her up. I couldn't do it. I snuggled into Rachel and fell asleep instantly. The way it should be.
Take my breath away
Take my breath away
The next morning
"Babe, who was on the phone last night?"
Rachel asked me. I knew it was do or die. I had to lie to her, and lie my ass off. I was a horrible liar and I've been told so, but I had to. I put the coffee cup down on the table and smiled at her.
"Oh, it was a recruiter. He needed to clear some things up. The time difference messed them all up."
"Oh."
"Hon, do we have any plans today?"
"No. We do have to go over the Glee piece, but other than that it's a chill kind of day? Why?"
"I have a friend that's flying in from Maine today, and he wants me to come pick him up, but he isn't coming in till three."
"That's cool. I've got some people coming over anyway. So go, hang with your friend. But be back at like, five-ish, because my dads are coming over for dinner."
"Will do."
I said, heading up to the shower. I was so nervous. I hadn't gone to visit Sallie Anne like I promised her I would. I couldn't face her after putting her in Serafina, I couldn't do it. I'd promised to make her better, and I was doing that. I'd received monthly updates as to her recovery from the doctors and staff at Serafina. I thank god for my scholarship to Ohio State, because every single dollar I had from my job at a law firm went to paying for her rehab stay. We lived in a Co-Ed dorm at school, so that was another reason I'd continued paying for her rehab stay. I kept up payments every month, because she needed to get better. I got the last bill for her rehab stay a month ago, and it hadn't dawned on me then, that it was the last bill. I stepped out of the shower and wrapped myself in a towel, and thought back to that day, two years ago…when I found Sallie Anne.
Two years previously.
I had gone to see my friend Tommy about a football matter. I remembered how Sallie Anne used to come in and stand in front of the TV wearing nothing but a smile. I'd looked around for her, but thought nothing of it. Tommy and I shot the breeze a little bit and then I looked at Tommy.
"Where's Sallie Anne?"
"I don't know, and I don't care."
He said. I got up and walked around the house a little bit. I wasn't really looking for Sallie Anne, but kind of keeping an eye out for her. Suddenly a pair of sneakers caught my eyes. They were on a prone body, and that body was suddenly passed out on the porch. I walked out the back door and saw Sallie Anne. She was passed out cold in a puddle of her vomit. I couldn't leave her there. I rolled her over and she was pale. I shook her and then smacked her face some.
"Sallie Anne…come on honey, wake up."
And I continued to stay with her. Tommy made his way out the back door and stood in the doorframe. I couldn't believe he wasn't doing anything to help her. I cradled her head in my lap and looked at Tommy.
"You gonna help her, man?"
"Nah. She's done this before. Let her sleep it off."
I shook my head. This wasn't natural, but I picked her up and took her to my car. I lay her in the back seat and then took her to the hospital. I sat with her and waited until she woke up….
Present day
There she is…the woman who's captured my heart. Sallie Anne. She didn't look like the same woman I put here two years ago. She didn't look the same. She looked like she had put some weight on. I parked the car and walked to her. I hesitated for a second then went and hugged her. And that's the way we stayed for awhile.
Watching I keep waiting still anticipating love
Never hesitating to become the fated ones
Turning and returning to some secret place to hide
Watching in slow motion as you turn to me and say
Take my breath away
We stood there for a little bit just hugging each other. And it didn't feel weird at all. It felt good. It felt normal. She pulled away and walked to the car. She slid in and I got in next to her. I smiled and put the car in drive and drove off.
"You don't have to say anything, Finn."
"I'm trying to say something, Sal. You look amazing."
"Thanks Finny."
"No problem. So, do you have a place to stay?"
"I do. My mom's living alone now, so I'm gonna go stay with her since Tommy's gone."
I remember hearing that Tommy had been shot in a gang shooting in a bad part of town. Tommy had been killed instantly and it still broke my heart everyday. I hadn't had a chance to get to the funeral, but I heard that Sallie Anne and her mom had made it special. I would've loved to have been there.
"So, how's Ohio State treating Glee's power couple?"
"We're not at Ohio State, yet. We don't actually start until September 10th. We're moved into our apartment. We graduate in three months."
"I wish I'd graduated."
This was news to me. I hadn't known that she didn't. I thought she had, which would've made me happy. I also knew that there was something I had to do. Something big. And I knew what I had to do. I didn't drive to her mom's right away. I drove her over to the school. I made her get out of the car and took her right to Mr. Schue's office. I knocked and smiled at him as he motioned for me to come in.
"Finn. What brings you here?"
"Mr. Schuester, this is my friend Sallie Anne. The one I told you about. Turns out she doesn't have a high school diploma. And since you helped Miss Rhodes…I was kind of figuring that maybe you could help her out."
"Finn, I'm not letting anyone else live in my apartment."
"Oh no…I don't mean that. She was ten credits shy. She could use the Glee club and two other classes."
I watched as Mr. Schue thought it over. I knew that he'd say yes. He was a sucker for a charity case, and quite frankly, I wanted her there. Sallie Anne took away from the intensity of my relationship with Rachel.
"Okay. I'll talk to Principal Figgins and see what he says. You vouching for her, Finn?"
"Vouching?"
Sallie Anne giggled. I turned to her and watched as she stepped into the doorway. She took my hand and I didn't even know when she did it, but she did. Mr. Schue watched this and I smiled softly at him.
"Finn, vouched means that you're saying that I'm reliable."
"Oh."
"It's settled then. If Principal Figgins okays this, then Sallie Anne will be a part of William McKinley High School."
And I knew that this was going to be a good thing. I knew that Sallie Anne was going to better herself, and that's all I could ask for.
Through the hourglass I saw you, in time you slipped away
When the mirror crashed I called you, and turned to hear you say
If only for today, I am unafraid
Take my breath away
Take my breath away
It was going great. My days were filled with Sallie Anne and our secret meeting place, and my nights were filled with Rachel. Mr. Schue had done wonders getting Sallie Anne into school and she took all the classes she needed to. She was doing amazingly, and had caught up enough to graduate with us. As we were laying on the picnic blanket behind the gym she turned to me and smiled.
"We're losing our connection with each other."
"No…No Sallie, we're not. I promise you."
"Okay, then explain to me why you didn't come."
I took a deep breath and sighed. I'd been working on this story for awhile now, but I couldn't follow through with the lie, so I told her the truth.
"After I put you in there, I swore to myself I'd stay out of your way for you to recover. I thought about you everyday. I even got updates on how you were doing. I got your therapy notes. I got everything."
"Who paid for it, Finn? My mom can't afford it. And I know it wasn't you."
This is where it got a little bit dicey. How am I going to tell her that I paid for her rehab stay? Two years of rehab at $120,000. She's not going to like it, but my silence was killing her. So, I looked at her and smiled.
"I took a job at a law firm. I was trying to do something amazing for you. So even though I never came…I paid for your treatment."
She looked shocked. She totaled it up in her mind. She was counting how much money it was and then she kissed me. When I looked at her it was like my whole life just stopped. And that's why I knew that I had to end it…with Rachel. The chemistry wasn't like this with Rachel. I looked at Sallie Anne and smiled at her.
"I'm going to end it with Rachel."
That's when it hit me. I needed Sallie Anne. I needed all of her. I needed to take care of her, to love her, to just be her everything. I stood up, and then stood her up and led her to the Glee room. It was then things went downhill…and fast. For when I walked in, I saw Puck and Rachel in a precarious situation. And it pissed me off.
Watching every motion in this foolish lovers game
Haunted by the notion somewhere there's a love in flames
Turning and returning to some secret place inside
Watching in slow motion as you turn to me and say
Take my breath away
My love, take my breath away
"It's over, Rachel! Puck is the last straw! Jesse I can understand! We were both scared, but Puck? Puck is my best friend! Or…was my best friend! Move out of the apartment by the end of the week!"
I wasn't going to be alone. I had Sallie Anne. And quite frankly, that's all I needed. To begin a new life with her…I watched as Rachel and Puck walked out. And then I realized that for the first time in a long time, I was happy.
-Fin