Her state of mind

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did it would be something between a high school theme with zombies on the top. Oh, wait. Someone already made that.

'Windmill, Windmill for the land.
Turn forever hand in hand
Take it all in on your stride
It is sinking, falling down'

- Gorillaz, Feel Good Inc

Chapter 1. Adjusting

Hinata couldn't understand why she was seated in such a horrible place. Everyone she talked to either frowned upon her or turned away with disgust. Not being able to find any source of ill smelling radiating from herself, she was so utterly confused with their behavior in her presence. The guards, she had later learned that is what they were, always smiled to the other people around her and even greeted them good morning, but that wasn't the case toward her. A man's face whom nagged at the back of her mind – she knew she had seen him somewhere, but couldn't quite figure out where – was the worst one toward her. He would always push her around when letting her out of her cell and glare daggers whenever she was looking or not. His presence was so murderous her way she wanted to crawl back into her little shoe box and stay there for the rest of her life, out of this angry man's sight. If only her wish came true.

There were two kind of peoples in her world now; those dressed in white body suits, and the guards in their military outfit; combat gear and all kinds of protection from teasers to bullet proof west's. It seemed weird considering nobody but the guards had anything close to a weapon. She wasn't even allowed a spoon when eating! Her white strait-jacket only came off at meals, but she had to use her hands to eat. She had found it utterly weird upon arriving and had asked the closest guard in a very polite voice, she figured later his name was Minato, if she could have one. The man with yellow hair and dark, blue eyes had snared at her and turned his shoulder her way. He made it very clear he wasn't going to talk to her any time soon, but didn't let his guard down. It made her more confused. Why would this man think she was dangerous? His hand was resting at his teaser, and she had slowly backed down and back to her table. A man with long blond hair and bangs in front of one of his eyes was laughing hysterically and pointing at her. Feeling a jolt of embarrassment had her blushing and she slowly started picking at her food. It wasn't close to eatable, and the first day had made her stomach growl angry at her through out the following night.

The routines were simple. They were locked up in their room at night, and were only let out for meals, twice a day, and one hour of social interaction with the others. They were in the same room as the cafeteria, but the tables and chairs were moved. They had two types of games, one were a game of mimicking the meaning on a card, and the other was chess. It was very hard to play chess without her hands, and she didn't want to touch the pieces; they had bite marks all over them and some even had a small amount of drool. The cards weren't better, but they were easier to flip with her toes. They weren't allowed shoes, or even socks, and she could see the dirt on her feet. It wasn't pleasant, but the others didn't look any better. It made her relax a little to know it wasn't just her. The first day had been hard. She had tried the game of chess, because the loudest people were screaming and cursing over the game of cards; but she had quickly refused when facing a pair of red eyes.

"You have such beautiful skin," the male had told her and tilted his red head to the side. "It makes me want to peel it off your flesh, hear your screams of agony and soak in your blood. Just imagine what I could make with that flawless skin! So many pretty dolls," the man's eyes had averted to the piece of game, and Hinata had left him before hearing anything more. The mental images he had planted had made her already empty stomach suffer from spasm and she had clinched her jaw to keep from making gagging sounds. It didn't make it any better when one of the guards chuckled evilly her way. He was enjoying her pain, and she couldn't help the hurt look across her face. What had she ever done to him to deserve such harsh treatments? For all she could remember, she'd never seen this man before in her life.

"Oh, oh, oh!" the blond man at the morning table yelled when she stalked slowly toward them. "I know you, un!" he said and tried to wave with his tied hands, and it made him look like a legless insect, trying to move around. It made a cold shiver run down her spine and she gulped hard. Hinata didn't like it when people gave her attention, and everyone at the game was now looking at her. It was a mixture of boredom, over eager and blank stares that meat her. Feeling completely naked and disposed of whatever madness was around her, she looked down on the floor and took deep breaths to not faint. She didn't like the stares, and the guys wasn't doing anything to help her.

"She's the idiot that asked for a fork and knife at breakfast, un." A roar of laughter and disbelieving looks crossed the group, as if she had just told them having two heads was very common among humans. A man with white hair and crimson eyes was rolling on the ground as tears streamed down his cheeks. Her blush deepened and she shrank into her self.

"Man, are you retarded or something?" the albino asked her. "There's no way an inmate is allowed any where near anything pointy or possible dangerous, you fucking moron!" His outburst had made the volume of the group increase, and they each gave their own play of how it had gone down earlier that day. Some of them were even making new scenarios, and some hadn't even witnessed the thing. She had backed away with tears in her eyes and into a corner by her self. She had tried her best to muffle her hicksters, but one of the guards with shaggy brown hair and a beard constantly kept kicking her and telling her to straighten up and behave; as if she was trying to do something illegal. It had taken all the time they had in the opening for her to gain enough control to stop shaking when they announced the time was up. She was pushed into her dark cell, and didn't hesitate to climb on top of her bed and cry. She wasn't going to let the guard have the pleasure of hearing her sobs, so she muffled them into her flat mattress. She didn't know the reason, but her dinner time was taken away from her, and Hinata had to sleep with an empty stomach.

She felt horrible the next day. Taken down to breakfast, the blond was still laughing and pointing at her, but the others didn't bat an eye her way. She felt better when the attention wasn't all on her, and she managed two small bites of bread before giving up. It was so dry and the water tasted like mud. Figuring she needed the liquid, and the stream of tears hadn't helped her conserve any in her body, she pinched her nose while emptying the cup. Not daring to ask for another – neither wanting one – she sat quiet and waited for the breakfast to end. It was mentally challenging to not look at the other people, but she still found her gaze wander.

At her left side was a man with dark hair down his back in a low pony tail and eyes black as the night. He had large bags under his eyes and looked like a victim of insomnia. He wasn't much older than herself, maybe early twenties. Besides him was a man with spiky blue hair. She couldn't figure if it was dyed or not, but she didn't want to ask. His skin was so pale it appeared blue, and the second he caught her staring, he flashed her a dreadful smile. All his teeth were sharped to pointing, and it made her flesh crawl. He could probably tear out someones throat with those. She gulped hard and looked at the other side of the table. The blond man had stopped laughing and was now stuffing the bread down, as if never eaten food before. To like the ghastly food that much made her believe his taste was completely gone. He flashed her a sly grin in between bites, and she quickly moved on. At his side was the red haired man, and his intense staring made her get goosebumps. It wasn't one of those pleasant -you-are-going-to-be-okey ones, but one of sinister interest. Across the table was the albino guy, and he didn't offer her any kind of acknowledge as he hungry consumed his plate, which suited her just perfectly.

Hinata used the rest of the breakfast to stare down at her piece of bread. Each and every one of them was making her uneasy, but the man beside her. He was as calm as if not knowing where he was and what surrounded him, and his soothing being was making her able to calm down. It wasn't much, but enough to keep the tears at bay. She hated herself for being so weak, but it wasn't much more she could do but try to suck it up.

"- lking to you," a voice she knew was the mean blonde broke into her train of thoughts. She didn't want to look up, but somehow she knew he was talking to her. Afraid of what would happen if she didn't acknowledge his presence made her look at him through her bangs. He was staring at her, expecting an answer, but she had none. She didn't know what he wanted, so she kept her mouth shut like her father had thought her, and waited for him to repeat it or give up on her. She wished the latest was what happened, but it didn't as he opened his loud mouth.

"I said I'm talking to you, baby blue, un" he said and rolled his eyes at her quiet being. Not wanting to make it worse, she just kept looking at him as a pink hue formed on her cheeks at the nick name. Her hair was as long as the man beside her, but it was dark purple instead of black. Her eyes were a soft lavender, and she tightened her jaw.

"I asked why you're in here," the man continued and let her gaze go as he picked up the almost gone bread. He popped it inside his mouth and chewed on it as he waited for her answer. His question made everyone look at her again, and she felt herself shrink in her seat. Why was he doing this to her? Always making her the center of attention and making fun of her. She didn't like him; not one bit. Even the man beside her had an almost interested look on his face, but just almost.

"I-i-i d-d-don't kno-o-ow," she whispered honestly as her face hit a new shade of dark red, and she felt white dots dance in front of her eyes. She was close to fainting and she could feel it. Damn her shyness and their curiousness. Why was it so hard for them to just ignore her, just like everyone else did back home? The thought of home stung in her chest; it didn't matter how hard it had been, she wanted to go back there.

"What was that, bitch face?" the albino said loudly and placed a hand behind his ear, demonstrating just how pathetic she was. The blond burst into a fit of laughter and was hit in the back of his head by his red haired companion. The man told him to shut up his annoying face and threatened to make him into an ugly doll. The blond retaliated with making him into the perfect art, but the guards came in faster than anything ever, and pinned them to the ground before the close fist fight could happen.

"Calm down now, Sasori, Deidara, or it's a week in the box," the brown haired guard with the beard said in a calm, almost caring voice. The red haired man didn't struggle at all, but the blonde scuffed a little before calming down himself. They let them go just seconds later, and both the guards looked at her with a sour look.

"And you," the one with a scar over his nose said, "don't ever encourage any of the inmates ever again into a fight, or it's a month in the box for you." Hinata bowed her head down to the table, wanting to tell them she hadn't done anything at all to encourage it, but bit her tongue. They hated her, and talking back at them would only make matters worse.

"I like this one," the red haired man purred with a small, creepy smile at her, and it didn't do anything to calm her nerves.

"Shut the fuck up, Sasori. Nobody asked such a doll freak like you," the with haired man said as he also finished his meal. The man named Sasori saw his opportunity as the albino was drinking water from his plastic cup to lift his hand and tilt the cup all over his face when he tried to take a sip. The water came flowing down the albinos face and all over his white suit.

Cursing loudly, the soaked man rose from his seat and jumped straight on the redhead. Sasori was expecting it, and quickly slithered himself under the table. The heavy, angry man clashed straight into the blonde and they both fell over to the ground.

"For crying out loud, Hidan!" the guards came storming back and started wrestling the inmates. The sudden assault on the blonde had him fully fired up and he was cursing and spiting back. Sasori slit up beside Hinata and the black haired man and gave her a wide grin.

"Having you here is going to be fun. I don't care what you did in the past and how the hell you got here, but it's very nice to meet you. My name's Sasori," he offered her a hand, and seeing it was the first act of kindness toward her, she gladly took it.

"Hinata," she whispered shyly at him, and the man's smile softened ever so slightly. He wasn't half as scary upon close, with such a young face and his soft hair. The smile wasn't even making her feel uncomfortable any more, and Hinata smiled shyly at him. It wasn't until his grip didn't let go of the greeting and his other started stroking the top of her hand she was pulled back to reality. This man was yet again creepy in her eyes, and she pulled away from him. The man tried to follow, but a hand on his shoulder prevented him.

"You've done enough damage, Sasori," the black haired man said in a low, monotone voice.

"You're a boring one, Itachi. Let a man have some fun once in a while in such a dead place," Sasori said with a childish pout that went well together with his baby face. Hinata was backing up against the wall, trying to get as far away from this weird person as humanly possible. He was scaring her shitless, and she couldn't read him at all. Could he be bipolar? His mood didn't change to anything but happy and creepy, so she doubted that. Maybe he was just another creep?

"That is his job," the pale man on the other end said without losing his toothy grin. He hadn't touched his food, but his cup of water was empty.

"Ah, I suppose so. He's still mad like you and me, Kisame, but not half as fun. I can see the fun in killing ones relatives, but let's be honest, it's not exactly new and original," Sasori said, placing his chin in his hands and looking dreamy at the white ceiling. His memory was clearly of something horrible, Hinata thought, as the smile on his face made her shiver. Everything was white in here, even the jail bars of their prison.

"Madness isn't about fun," Itachi said as a matter of factually. Their almost normal way of talking had Hinata relaxed; their attention wasn't pointing at her anymore, and it released her tension a lot. "Madness is a state of mind without order; it's about randomness and utterly confusion."

"I disagree," Sasori rudely interrupted the next sentence of the man, and it earned him a hard glare which didn't appeal to him at all. "I've been given two PHD's in madness, and I'm not confused at all. My goal is clear to me; to make as many beautiful dolls as possible."

"A mad person wouldn't know if they're confused or not; they're mad," Kisame shot in, his black eyes staring unblinkingly at Sasori as a predator at a dear. Hinata thought she felt his blood lust and she made her hands into fists. Her knees felt weak and she was yet again feeling sick. The killing intent of the blue man was unbearable and she slid down to the floor; her eyes not able to leave the paralyzing stare. He was staring straight at her, and she could already feel pain in her body as those white teeth ripped at her flesh, drinking her blood and breaking her bones. She wondered if his jaw was strong enough to break her in two.

"Stop intimidating her, you two," Itachi said with annoyance in his voice, and the feeling of being killed left Hinata as all their heads snapped up at a new set of sound. The guards were speaking with great authority, and ordered all the inmates back to their cells. They all stood up and faced the closest wall, legs spread. It was the same whenever they went. As Hinata waited for the guard to come strap her jacket back up, she dared a glance at the black haired man. For some odd reason, her cheeks were just a tad of pink.

The walk back wasn't better than before; the spiky, brown haired man with the beard was tugging roughly at her arm to make her walk faster. It was very obvious that he didn't want to be more close or use any time on her. Having her hands crossed over her chest and tied behind her back made it very difficult to walk, and he would let her stumble a few seconds when she tripped before keeping the dragging speed up. It was amusing him how painful he was holding her, and how close she was to crying.

Hinata couldn't understand what she had ever done do deserve such a harsh punishment from a stranger. She had always had such good manners toward other people, and she even bore a stutter at that. The only person who had ever gotten mad at her had been her father and her sister, Hanabi. Her younger sibling would always scream at her to pull herself together and stand up to father, and her father would look at her with disgust in his eyes and demand her out of his sight. She had done him wrong the minute she was born.

They reached her cell, and he let her fall down as he let go of her arm. Upon hitting the hard, cement ground, the man immediately placed a food on her lower back, keeping her in place. The hard crash her face and the floor had made the tears in Hinata's eyes slip down her cheeks. She was unable to do anything but lie still, waiting for what came next.

"Trying to escape, inmate? We can't have none of that. This prison is one of the best ever build, and you'll rot her for the rest of your pathetic, miserable life." He yanked her hard to her feet after finding the keys in his picket. Hinata sent him an almost glare as her eyes came to his, but she didn't have time to protest at his words, ask what she had done, why she was there, and why he was treating her this way. She had a lot more questions at that, but a hard slap across her cheek made any kind of remark stop at her tongue. If it had been anyone but Hinata, they would surely have flinched, whimpered and submersed at that point, but the young, blue haired girl was so used to being struck across her face by her father and sister, that she almost couldn't feel her skin crack and the blood seeping inside her mouth from the wound her teeth had made. It was going to leave a huge bruise there, because even after all the wounds she had to recover from, her skin was still delicate and soft. The hit only made her eyelashes flutter ever so slightly.

The hard backhanding made her suck in a slight breath, as she slowly tilted her head back to look at this stranger. He had opened her prison cell and showed her inside. The girl quickly turned around, and the speed of her action made him grab for his weapons and slam the door shut. She didn't make a jolt for the door; in fact, she didn't move at all beside breath and giggle at the man. Her eyes were unnaturally wide, and so was her white grin. She could taste the copper in her mouth from the blood and greedily gulped it down. Her eyes didn't leave the guard once as the sucked at her wound, begging for more of that delicious liquid.

She imagined strangling him, tightening her hands around his throat and give it a light squeeze. The man's eyes would have would have radiated fear, dread and horror as the truth would hit him. She was going to strangle him slowly to death, and enjoy it as her grip would grow stronger and stronger until she could hear a snap from the spine. She could hang him with a rope, strangle him with a bedsheet, a piece of metal bar, drown him under water, place a plastic bag over his head and lock him up in an airtight room. Oh, all those screams would be music to her ears. She would make him beg for mercy, but receive none. She was going to toy with him, before breaking the damaged toy; they had no use to her. At the same time, she found herself fantasizing about stabbing him several hundreds of times. The delightful blood would ticker from his wounds and seep and stain everything. She would do it with such a passion her action would paint the boring walls, floor an maybe even the ceiling. The thought had her laughter increase a little as she imagined all the ways she could do it. Gutter him as a fish, butcher him fast, removing his limbs, slice his throat, stabbing all the vital organs, all the arteries, the less deadly, but the more painful parts of his body.

Her body screamed; it had been too long ago. She wanted to not just hurt this man because he had been so mean to her, but because she hadn't watched anyone die in a long time. It always mad her feel live to watch the light go out from someones eyes. Even the thought of poisoning this man was appealing to her. She could name over a dozen toxic herbs she could place nonchalant in food without being discovered, over two dozen kind of drugs and several liquid metals she could inject him with. Every single one would have him die screaming, bloody and in utter agony. It made her tilt her head a little as another giggle escaped her. Or she could restrain from feeding him at all. Lock the man up, give him minimal amount of water, and starve him to death. She'd take away his sleep too in all kinds of disturbing ways. A thought interrupted her train, and she found herself freeze for a moment. She could throw him to a starving animal. It would surely tear him to pieces as his bloody screams filled the night. She started giggling again.

There was so many things she could do to him, so many ways she could take him out from this world. It was such a delight.

"Nijuuichibi," the man spoke to her, and the grin on her face faded in a second. He locked the door by a turn of his wrist, and retrieved the key into his pocket and out of her reach. "Your killing spree days are over. You're locked up here, forever. I'll make sure of that," he harshly spat her way, and she didn't flinch as the saliva landed on her cheek. As it tricked down, her tongue leaps at it and she tastes it. It had a stained feel to it, and she knew the hint of cigarette in it. The man cringed in disgust at her action, and she started giggling again.

"I know you, don't I?" she asked herself as her eyes stared into his brown ones. Her voice was harsh and deep as a low growl. The man confirmed the thoughts by snarling at her. He could turn his back and walk away any time he wanted, but found himself able to. She was the thing he hated the most, and he'd be damned if he didn't let her in on it. If his fierce glance wasn't enough to tip her of on his endless rage, his pose sure did. His shoulders were stiff, head held high, fist clenched, teeth gritted, body vibrating and a low, dangerous growl escaped his lips. It made her laugh more. She enjoyed every bit of his anger.

"Or maybe not you," she teased. The once sweet and innocent girl was gone. She wasn't shy under his blazing glare or stuttered; the Nijuuichibi had taken over her being. "Maybe someone acquainted to you, maybe someone you know, knew?" she tasted the words as her tongue flickered over her lips. He wanted to rip it out; her mockery was holding him back like an invisible rope, but he was only inches away from ripping the door open and beat her to death. It would have been such a relieve to him. He almost didn't care for the consequences. Almost.

"Must be knew," she finally agreed with herself. "I never leave survivors." Another unbearable giggle escaped her lips, and he flew at the cell bars. His hands were banging, and tears started rolling down his cheeks.

"I'll kill you, you wrench," he spat at her. "I'll fucking kill you."

Thanks for reading, and I'm sorry if it's confusing. It'd be peachy if you also left a comment on your thoughts. Even one word will do just fine.

Nijuuichibi means twenty-one tail.