100 Themes Challenge [1/100] / 14. Smile
A/N: Takes place when Kyoko and the rest are about 14-15. I'll be mentioning ages and time-ranges at the beginning of each one-shot since I change them quite often.
"Ahhh, there goes Kyoko Sasagawa with that usual pretty smile on her face."
"How can she remain so positive about everything all the time?"
"I wish I could be like her."
I hear people talking behind my back like this all the time while I walk through Namimori Middle School each day. I guess I shouldn't complain about it, at least they're saying nice things about me. People seem to only know me as "that happy Kyoko" or "smiling Sasagawa", nothing else. Because people look up to me and my positivity, I try to keep a smile on my face no matter how I'm feeling. If my good mood makes so many people happy, then I wouldn't be doing anyone a service by showing that I'm upset. Even on those days when I feel like screaming in frustration, I will stand my ground by keeping up an upside down frown.
I entered my class and sat down at my seat, taking out my school supplies from my satchel. Today was the day we were getting our science tests back, and I was anxious to see how I did since I spent so much time studying for it.
"Sasagawa," my teacher said as she placed my test down on my desk before me. My face twitched when I spotted the circled grade in red at the top of the sheet. A 77 mark? But I tried so hard…
"How'd you do Kyoko?" my best friend Hana asked from a few seats in front of me.
"I did okay," I lied with a grin despite my disappointment. "Can't complain."
"Well Sawada, I don't know how you did it, but you somehow scored lower on this one than the last one," I heard the teacher say.
"What!? A 10? Science is so hard," Tsuna groaned. He banged his head on the desk and sighed, muttering something unintelligible to himself. I wish I could do something as expressive as that.
When lunch time rolled around, I decided to eat by myself in order to focus on reviewing my test, that way I could do better next time. I found a deserted, grassy spot at the edge of the school perimeter and took out my lunch box, textbooks, and my test.
"Alright," I said to myself, "Time to get to work. Question four—"
"You'll never catch Lambo!"
I looked over my shoulder to see little I-Pin chasing Lambo, both unfortunately coming my way. As much as I enjoyed their company, I was really looking forward to a quiet, peaceful lunch.
"Kyoko, protect Lambo!" the little cow-dressed boy shouted as he jumped into my lap. The next thing I knew, I-Pin was on my shoulder saying something in her native language as Lambo squirmed around me. "You'll never take Lambo alive! Kyoko, be my shield!" Lambo looked up to me with excited eyes, and I couldn't help but smile down at him and tell him, "Okay."
The two of them continued to play around me and I tried my best to continue studying despite their loudness. They were hitting me in the midst of their game and pulling my clothes and hair. I knew they were having fun, so I didn't tell them to stop even though I wanted them to leave me alone. Instead I just kept a friendly face and tried hard to focus, but I wasn't successful.
By the time my lunch period was over and the kids ran away to play somewhere else, I realized that I didn't get any actual reviewing done at all. I walked back to school to finish up the rest of the day and came across Tsuna with Gokudera and Yamamoto on my way.
"Lambo cut it out," Tsuna said. Lambo was holding onto his leg as I-Pin laughed.
"You stupid cow," Gokudera grunted as he pried Lambo off. "Get lost!"
"Now Gokudera, don't be so mean," Yamamoto told him.
The children began to cry, and I instinctually started to walk over, but stopped when I saw Tsuna crouching down to them. "Look, we have class right now," Tsuna said sternly. "We'll play with you guys later, okay? Go home now to Mama and she'll make you lunch."
Lambo and I-Pin's tears immediately stopped and they went back to their normal, playful selves, chasing each other as they ran away from Namimori Middle. I bet I could've gotten all of my reviewing done if I had just told them that. Tsuna made it look so simple.
At the end of the day I waited for my brother outside where the boxing club practiced. The sun was already beginning to set and I really wanted to go home to eat, but Big Brother was putting in some extra practice again.
"Ryohei, are you almost finished?" I asked, peaking my head inside the training room.
"You're still waiting for me, Kyoko?" he shouted back as he continued to spar with his partner. "Just go on and head home without me, I'll meet you there for dinner eventually."
"Well…okay," I nodded to him and smiled. "See you at home."
Actually, I was really hoping that I could walk home with my brother so I could vent about my test to him on our way home. We used to walk home every day together when we were children, but as soon as we entered middle school together our daily walks stopped happening as often as they used to because he gets too wrapped up in his boxing club. I don't want to take him away from what he loves, so I've never told him that it bothers me that we don't go home together anymore.
I went on my way without him, but stopped to sit on a bench by myself near the baseball field. There I saw Tsuna again, leaning against the fence while watching Yamamoto getting in some extra batting practice without the rest of his team. Boy, I had sure been seeing lot of Tsuna today for some reason. Maybe the world was trying to tell me something.
"Hey Yamamoto, are you almost done?" Tsuna shouted to him.
"Yeah almost, I think I'm going to get a couple more swings in. You can go on home without me if you want," Yamamoto shouted back.
"Well…actually I was hoping you could walk with me today, since Gokudera can't because he got detention. I have a bad feeling I might get jumped if I go alone."
"Oh, then sure no problem!" Yamamoto smiled. "Let me turn off the machine and get my things. I'll be right with you!"
Tsuna looked over his shoulder and noticed me, and he did that odd twitchy thing he always did when we met eyes. I waved at him while walking over to him. Might as well keep him company as he waits for Yamamoto.
"Hello Tsuna," I greeted him.
"H-hi Kyoko," he stammered. "How are you?"
"I'm fine," I said with my usual smile.
"Really?" Tsuna studied my face. "You don't look fine."
"Wh-what?" I was definitely unprepared for him to notice that. How did he even know? I'm smiling, aren't I? "I'm okay, I'm fine," I said reassuringly. "Trust me."
"Kyoko, you know it's okay to not be okay right?" he said. I paused, feeling his words go straight to my heart. "I mean, I—we—all love seeing you smiling and being happy all the time, but it would also be nice to know how you're really feeling too. You don't always have to smile at us and go with the flow."
"But, won't I just bring everyone's mood down or bother people by not going with the flow?"
"Well…I think we would all feel a bit worse knowing that you were smiling while reassuring us that you're okay, but didn't actually mean it."
I looked down at my shoes and rubbed my thumb against the palm of my other hand as I reviewed his words in my head. Tsuna made a panicked sounding noise and continued:
"S-sorry I…I don't know what I'm saying everything I say is stupid why am I rambling?" he quickly fumbled over his words. "I should go help Yamamoto gather his things I'll see you tomorrow in class okay bye!" he waved to me as he ran off to the field.
I watched him almost trip over his feet until he joined his friend, looking winded from running such a short distance away from me. He's so strange sometimes, but in an endearing way. I looked up at the sky and sighed, putting my right hand over my heart. "So that's why you had me bump into Tsuna today," I said to the Heavens above. "I understand perfectly now."
I reviewed my science test quietly as everyone started trickling into class the next day. Hana walked over to greet me and leaned her body on my back, looking over my shoulder.
"Hm, a 77, that's pretty low for you Kyoko," she said. "I thought you said you did okay on that test?"
"I lied," I sighed. "I studied all night and tried really hard on it, but I didn't get the score I wanted. I'm still a bit disappointed at my results, science isn't normally this hard for me."
Hana got off and stood before me at my desk. She put her hand over mine and said, "It's okay Kyoko, don't be too hard on yourself. Let's review the test at my house over the weekend, alright?" she smiled at me.
"Yeah," I nodded with a grin, "Sounds like a plan."
I decided to have lunch alone again in the same spot I ate at yesterday. Since I was going to be reviewing my science test with Hana later, I decided to focus on reading my history textbook to prepare for next week's exam instead. Soon enough, Lambo and I-Pin came running at me like they did the last time. With the noise they were going to bring, there was no way I was going to get any studying done.
"Kyoko, be Lambo's rocket ship!" he shouted as he and I-Pin jumped on my shoulders.
I let them pull my hair and scream in my ears for a minute before gently prying them off of me. Enough was enough. As much as I loved them, I had to tell them stop or else I wouldn't get anything done again.
"Lambo, I-Pin, I really don't appreciate it when you two come here and jump on me while I'm trying to study," I said sternly.
"But studying is so boring and stupid!" Lambo shouted. "Play with us! Play with us! Play with us!"
"Lambo, I said no."
Lambo's eyes began to water and I could feel a tantrum coming on. Even I-Pin covered the ears we couldn't see on her round head in preparation for the shouting. "But that doesn't mean I can't play with you some other time," I quickly continued. "Please try to understand, I would really like to take this time to study."
"L-Lambo understands," he sniffled, immediately getting rid of his tears. "Come I-Pin, let's go bother Haru!"
And just like that, the two of them ran off with their playful grins back on their faces. "Bye-bye Kyoko!" they shouted back to me.
I waved to them and went back to my studies, happy that I wasn't interrupted anymore during my lunch break.
From that point, the rest of my day went perfectly fine. Telling people my feelings about things instead of smiling and letting things slide by actually made a difference in how I felt. My disappointed moods don't bring people down like I thought they would. Instead when people hear I'm upset with the way things are going, it makes people want to make me feel better—something I'm so used to doing for other people. It's strange being on the other end of the stick, but I can get used to it because it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of me. I guess it's okay to not smile through my disappointment and bottle my unhappy thoughts inside, because those negative feelings should be passed verbally instead of stored up in my heart. Although I don't look happy all the time, I feel happier than ever because now I don't have to give people fake smiles. I think people still like me all the same as well.
"There goes Kyoko, she's like sunshine."
"Her smile seems brighter today, don't you think?"
"Wow, just seeing her happy makes me happy!"
After school, I walked to the boxing club practice to wait for my brother. I stepped inside and made my way to the ring unannounced, watching him throw punches at a beat-up training bag. I cleared my throat loud enough for him to hear, and he stopped with his practice fighting to look back at me.
"Oh, Kyoko," he said, walking over to the side of the ring. "Sorry, I think I'm going to be staying late tonight again. You can go ahead and go on without—"
"Big Brother," I interrupted him. "I would like it if you could put down your gloves and walk me home. We don't talk as much as we used to anymore because you're always practicing, and I miss you."
He frowned for a moment, looking disappointed and somewhat annoyed. Regardless, I stood my ground and didn't take anything back. It was about time he knew how I felt. After a few seconds of tense silence, he smiled lovingly at me—a smile I haven't seen for a while on him.
"Okay Little Sister," he bowed his head to me. "I'm EXTREMELY sorry I haven't been there for you—I've foolishly become consumed with my boxing. You're more important than my sport," he laughed, ruffling my hair with his boxing glove.
"Ah, you're messed up my hair," I sighed while fixing it.
"Sorry about that," he chuckled. "Wait outside, I'll be out to walk with you home in a few minutes. Then you can tell me all about what's going on in Little Kyoko's world."
I waved to him and sat on a bench to wait for him, excited that I was going to be spending some long-awaited time with my brother on our way home. Just as I took out my textbook again to get more reviewing done, Tsuna walked by. It was the first time I had paid attention to him all day.
"Tsuna!" I shouted to him as I put down my things.
He pointed to himself and looked around in confusion, as if he were shocked that I was addressing him. He's strange like that, but in a good way.
"Kyo-Kyoko," he stuttered. "U-um, so the weather has been very nice lately…"
"Tsuna," I said again and bowed my head. "I just wanted to say thank you."
"'Thank you'? For what?"
I smiled at him wider than I ever had before, feeling a great amount of warmth spread all throughout my body. He looked confused for a moment, his cheeks turning a bright red, but soon enough he was smiling along with me.
"I'm glad your smile matches your heart again, Kyoko."
A/N: One one-shot down, ninety-nine to go. Hopefully this first one turned out okay, I don't normally write things in first person. I'll probably do an actual 2795 fluff story later, since I don't count this one as being particularly romantic or anything. Coming up next is a longer DinoxHaru story, since the idea of those two together is actually kind of cute-to me at least.
Remember to review please, ciao!
