I opened my eyes slowly as I heard a soft knock against my window. It was dark outside, but the starlight lit up her white blonde hair. Lila. My Lila Jade. Normally I was the one sneaking out to meet her, knocking on her window hours before even the sun dared rise. Ever since we ran into each other wandering when we were both thirteen, it was our predawn journeys that I always enjoyed most.

Quietly I made my way over the window and pressed my hand against the glass. She kissed the other side. I held up two fingers and mouthed the words, two minutes. Her grin alone could have lit the night.

After three years of sneaking out, I still couldn't make it to the door without the floors whining. It was never the same boards, they all cried out. But mother and Kale never noticed, or at least they never said anything. It was the least of our problems anyway, and I always pulled my weight. Name in for rations behind their backs… but they had to know.

"I was starting to think you'd gone back to sleep, Mr. Abernathy!" I could see her laugh in the air as she whispered the words and entwined her cold fingers in mine. I tucked the hair covering her face behind her ear, and where my skin brushed against hers, I left a trail of clear skin. She shivered.

Nights were always cold, and we always came home with a coating of coal dust on our frozen skin.

"I was starting to think I'd gone absolutely crazy. Since when do beautiful girls come knocking at my window in the middle of the night?" I poked at her as we walked away from my house and toward the Empty Town. It was what we always called our Victorless Village. No one ever won from District 12… Only once… but our victor couldn't stand to live after the games.

"I'm not beautiful…" She stopped in her tracks and let go of my hand.

"I beg to differ, Lila Jade, you make the girls in District One look like rusty squirrel vomit."

"That doesn't even make sense." The corner of her mouth twitched, but she continued to frown, her face toward the ground. She wouldn't look at me.

"Hey," I stepped to face her. "Look at me, Lile." And suddenly her arms were around me so tight, her head buried into my chest. I didn't know what to do.

"Hey," I ran my hand through her hair, I could feel her crying. "Hey," Again, it was as if I wasn't there, like I was there to hug and nothing else.

This could be our last night togeth-

No. Nothing was going to happen. No thinking like that. We're only sixteen. Neither of us were going to be called in the reaping. It's never our loved ones. We've been safe and blessed every single year. We were taken care of. We were safe.

We were going to have nights like this for the rest of our lives. Our life. Together.

"I love you, Lile."

"Don't say that… please don't say that."

"Why wouldn't I say it? I should say it. And you'd better get used to it because I'm going to say it every-"

She let out a sob. My stomach churned. I didn't know what to do. She'd never cried. She'd always been so happy. She was practically untouched by the life of District Twelve. I don't know how, but she was always, always, always happy. I loved that about her. She was contagious. She was always there for me. All of the nights when I'd show up at her window. Confused. Angry. Upset.

But she was always happy.

She was never like this.

I could feel her warm breath against my chest. She was saying something, but I could only feel it. Her warm, broken breaths like ice shattering my heart.

"Lila… please, I don't… what's wrong? Please look at me."

She let go. Stepped back.

"I can't do this." I felt like I was going to throw up. "No… that's not what I mean. What I mean is… Haymitch… what if I get called when the reaping comes in the next few hours? You don't know… how many times…" She buried her face in her small, elegant hands.

What do I do? "How many times what, Lile?"

We were standing along the gate, the dying grass covered in frost. What do I do? What do I do? What do I do? I could feel nerves tingling all along my arms, my shoulders, down my spine, in my neck, all the way through my legs. I don't know what to do.I pictured her laughing in school, singing off key with me, bickering with our peers… always smiling. Always my girl.

"My name… my family needed it. My parents… they starve themselves to feed me… I wanted to," She paused and swallowed, but the tears were streaming down her face. I could only think of how cold her face must be. But I couldn't believe what she was saying. My stomach churned again.

She'd done exactly what I had done for my mom and brother. She was more likely to be chosen than anyone else. And so was I.

But there must be others… others who were so desperate so as to volunteer their name for food and supplies. We couldn't be the only ones.

We were only sixteen. We were in love. We were going to get married. It was her. It was always her.

"Lila, I don't care what you say. They won't call your name. I know they won't. You'll be safe. You'll be fine. I love you. We are going to be fine." I wrapped my arms around her tight as she echoed my words.

"We're going to be fine."