"Milk. Ugh... Why did Al put this stuff on the grocery list?" Ed groaned, picking up the bottle of milk from the shelf and dropping it into the shopping trolley carelessly, wishing nothing but ill for the white substance that was drawn out from a cow's udders. "More to the point, why was it even invented?" Ed gave the milk one more nasty look, then headed out of that aisle.
"Let's see... Pasta's next." Ed muttered, heading towards the pasta aisle. "I'll take the swirly ones, they're the best." He retrieved a packet of pasta, and looked at the list again.
"Cat food, the Felix brand, the chicken pieces, and MUST be the fine food. Can't be ANYTHING other than the fine food. Yes, Al, I'll get the FINE FOOD for the cat." Ed said, rolling his eyes at his brother's insistence on the 'perfect' food for the 'perfect' cat. Hurricane is not the perfect cat! I mean, seriously! He runs circles round me every time I try to give him a bath! And he SITS on my reports! Every single time! And he sleeps on my head! MY HEAD! How is that even comfortable? I'll bet he does it just to annoy me. Al says it's because he loves me. I disagree. Hurricane does NOT love me. Okay, he IS cute and cuddly, I'll admit that. But that doesn't compensate for all his little tricks! And let's not forget how he absolutely LOVES to lick my face and make me wake up at NINE O'CLOCK IN THE MORNING. That is way too early. That cat does not love me. If he did, he would not wake me up early. He would not sit on my work. He would not sit on my head. He would not give me a hard time when I'm trying to give him a bath. He'd do what he does to Al. Sit with me peacefully, purr when I'm near him, burrow into me when I'm relaxing... It's mutual dislike, alright. Ed picked ten tins of cat food up and dumped them into the trolley. I suppose Al was due a cat, though. He got his body back. He's now able to feel a cat's soft fur after five years, able to feel warmth again, after so long. It was only fair that I allow him to have a cat. Ed sighed resignedly, exiting the pet food aisle and looking down at his list again. Even so, I still don't like that cat.
Ed exited the supermarket, weighed down by about six carrier bags, three in each hand.
"Argh... I should transmute a giant container or something... Oh, wait..." Ed groaned, remembering the fact that he could no longer use alchemy. Jeez, it stinks not being able to use alchemy anymore. Alchemy really helps in times like this. And in other times... Ed grimaced as he remembered his last meeting with Colonel Mustang- No, Brigadier General Mustang, as he kept reminding Ed (although Ed still called him Colonel, just to annoy him), a meeting which had largely consisted of Roy ticking off Ed, and Ed resorting to hand-to-flame combat, what with the ability to transmute a cool pointed spear out of the window. But it's all worth it, because Al got his body back. And Al is far more important than my alchemy. Ed smiled contentedly as he remembered seeing his brother in the flesh for the first time in five years. Seeing Al smile, seeing Al laugh, even seeing Al cry gave him a sort of warm feeling. Because Al was able to show these emotions. And if Al was happy, most of the time he was too.
"Oh God, there's still more on this blasted shopping list." Ed groaned dejectedly, then looked at it oddly. "Tuxedo? What for? Oh, yeah. Al and Winry's wedding." Ed said, then proceeded to scan the area for the clothes shop. "Ah, there it is." Ed made his way to it. Al and Winry are getting married. I can't believe it, Al's getting married before me. Ed laughed slightly to himself. I suppose that was going to happen though. Al's more lovable. Sure, Winry and I got together for a while. But it wasn't working out, and somehow, I always knew that it wouldn't. So then we broke up, and we're still friends, which is good, and she started dating Al, which was definitely the right choice. I mean, they're both kind, compassionate, optimistic and loving. It's only natural that they'd marry. And it's definitely going to work out for them. I'll make sure of that. Ed smirked at the death threat that was given to Winry, which clearly said, as bright as day, 'You're an awesome girl, and my closest friend, but hurt Al in any way, and I'll kill you'. Yup, Ed was simply the nicest person around! But maybe I should think about getting married. Well, getting a girlfriend first. But who? Winry didn't work out, so I guess I can't have anyone like her. Um... Rose? But I don't want to date someone like her. She's nice and all, but a bit too... Dependent. She was dependent on that 'Leto' dude. She wouldn't suit someone like me... Ah jeez. I don't know many girls, do I? Hawkeye would kill me if I asked her out... We all know she likes Mustang... Ross is Brosh's... Eh, do I even want to marry now? Ed looked down at his ring finger, imagining a golden ring around it. No, I don't. I've got stuff to do with my life. I'm still in the military. I could help Mustang rise to the top. Believe it or not, I want to help him become Führer. He'll make this country a better place. Grumman already does that, but Mustang will make it that significant bit better. And I can't believe I'm thinking that. Ed shook his head exasperatedly, then entered the clothes shop.
"Do you know where I could find I tuxedo in here?" Ed asked the young shop assistant, looking around him. The place was quite big, and Ed couldn't see a tuxedo for miles. Only casual t-shirts, trousers and jackets. Exactly the type of stuff Ed did NOT like wearing.
"Oh, just keep walking up the third aisle. You'll find them." She informed, then went back to her magazine. Ed followed her directions, and, sure enough, a myriad of tuxedos lined the racks, in lots of different sizes. Gah. Smallest one it is then. Ed grudgingly took the tuxedo off, muttering darkly as he did so. Even though he was an adult (nineteen, for God's sake!), he was a short one, even shorter than Al, much to Ed's dismay. And the same height as Winry. And only came up to Mustang's chest. Which is why he keeps teasing me! I'm not short, everyone's freakishly tall! Ed took the tuxedo to the counter, paid for it (500 cenz? What a rip-off...) and exited the shop, now holding a tuxedo as well as six carrier bags. Groaning under the weight and the difficulty, he dragged the stuff along to his and Al's apartment, just a kilometer south of Central Command.
Ed knocked on the apartment door, expecting it to be locked, as he had specifically told Al to do just that. But, the door easily opened as he knocked on it. Ed stared at the door in surprise, his eyebrows knotted. Something's not right. Our door was perfectly fine this morning. Ed stepped into the apartment warily, scanning the hallway. His eyes rested on the end, a solid wall. The only thing wrong with it was that it was supposed to be blue. A nice, dark blue. Not crimson red. But it wasn't fully crimson red... The red was splattered onto the wall, and onto other adjacent walls. Ed dropped his bags and the tuxedos immediately and ran towards the wall. He stopped abruptly when he got there, his eyes widening in horror. The red... Wasn't paint. It was blood. Blood was splattered on the walls, thick and dark. Ed stepped towards it, touching it with his hand. His hand came back bloody, indicating that the incident had been not long ago, perhaps when he had acquired the cat food. Cat food. Cat. Al. AL!
"AL! WHERE ARE YOU?!" Ed yelled worriedly, desperately looking around for any sign of his brother. His foot touched against something, and he looked down to see what it was.
"No... No... NO!" Ed yelled, stepping back in horror. Al's red cloak, so identical to Ed's, lay on the ground, drenched in blood. It can't be... Al can't be...
"Meow... Meow..." Ed's head turned light lightening towards the sound, and he saw Hurricane, not darting around, not mewling constantly... Just sitting there. Ed looked at the cat. He seemed to look forlorn, sad, and scared.
"Do you know where Al is?!" Ed questioned desperately, his pupils dilating. Hurricane merely mewled sadly again, as if in mourning.
"NO! AL'S NOT DEAD, YOU IDIOT CAT! He's out there still! Alive! Well!" Ed clutched his head, shaking it, trying to clear his head out. But he couldn't, and, as he looked at the horrific, bloody scene before him, he couldn't believe that Al was well in the slightest. Sinking to his knees, he desperately tried to think of something to do.
"I can't use alchemy anymore... I have no idea where Al is... I can't do anything. I'm useless. It's hopeless. What," He clenched his teeth, shutting his eyes in anguish. "What kind of brother am I? I couldn't save Al, I couldn't do anything!" He stared at the scene before him again, as if it would help him.
"Meow..." Ed turned his head towards Hurricane. "Meow..." Hurricane got up and sat next to Ed, as if comforting the man, whilst crying himself.
"You're Al's cat... Al's cat... Al... You're helping me... Al needs help... I need to help Al... I need someone's help to help Al..." Ed mumbled, then abruptly stood up, startling Hurricane. Ed picked the calico up and walked towards the door, taking the key out of the door.
"I need someone's help to help Al." He repeated more firmly, and locking the door behind him as he exited his apartment. "I can't ask Winry, she won't be able to do anything. She'd just get really really upset... No... I need someone trustworthy, dependable, but who'd give effective help..." Ed immediately knew who he was going to ask, even though he didn't particularly like this person...
Ed ran out of the block and onto the main road, not caring for his own safety. All he wanted to do was get help. Hurricane was in his arms, looking alarmed at the fast pace that his carrier was going at, but not mewling at all, and Ed got the weird feeling that the cat knew that this wasn't a time to be mewling constantly. People gave him odd looks as he ran past them, but Ed couldn't care less. The only problem they have at this moment in time is what they're going to have for dinner. Ed continued running, frequently on the road when the pavement became too crowded, thus making a numerous amount of cars halt abruptly in the middle of the road. Ed had a myriad of profanities shouted at him, but he merely shouted them back and continued running.
Ed arrived in front of Central Command, panting as he ran up the steps and into the building.
"Hey Maj-" A soldier greeted, but stopped when Ed took no notice and continued running. He ran up two flights of stairs, passing soldiers who gave him (and Hurricane) curious looks until he came to be outside a certain office that he knew all too well. Readjusting Hurricane so that he could rest in one of Ed's arms, Ed pushed the doors open with the other, and scanned the room for the face of the man he needed.
"COLONEL!"
A/N- WHAT'S HAPPENED TO AL?! Don't bother asking me. I don't know. I'll work something out. I always improvise stuff. You can decide whether that makes my stories good or bad. Because I can't plan for toffee. I end up ripping the plan up and improvising anyway!
Just so you know, this is going to be a Parental!Roy and Ed story. Which means I shall have to stop reading awesome RoyEd romance oneshots... To make sure it stays a Parental!Roy and Ed... But I love the fluffy Roy and Ed! Argh. I shall just have to make sure I don't turn it into fluffy Roy and Ed, shan't I?
And yes, the cat is important. No, the cat does not have any special hidden powers. Yes, the cat is awesome. No, I have no idea what cat food to give to cats.
There was very little dialogue in this... Most of it was Ed's train of thought. So obviously I was surprised when this story turned out to have 2,000 and something words... Oh well! Dialogue will come next time.
By the way, if you guys could think of a better title for this story, that'd be awesome. Just saying. I'm not very good at thinking of titles...
Ed: *Cough* Understatement of the century *Cough*
Me: Ed couldn't have put it better! Anyway, please review!
Ed: They give her a nice feeling... And me too... Just so long as you don't put horrible swears in your reviews... *Shudders*
Me: What, you mean like... SHORT?
Ed: That's it you're dead! *Rolls up sleeve*
Me: AIK! ER... I DO NOT OWN FMA IN ANY SHAPE OR FORM, EVEN THOUGH I BADLY WANT TO! Now I can die... Without being sued in the afterlife... And do you know how hard it is to find pictures of Parental!Roy and Ed without finding at least 20 romantic pictures?!