Author's Note: You MUST read Zigludo's Holy War first or else you will be confused!
Return of Zigludo
Over two years ago, Arvis stole Zigludo's wife and killed Zigludo and his army. As a result, Deidre is now Arvis's wife, had babies with her, and Ganon was resurrected. Now Zigludo is in a grave where his rotted body lies. But then, an old man from the sky appears above the grave.
"RISE FROM YOUR GRAVE!" said the old man from the sky as he brings Zigludo back from the dead.
Zigludo rose from his grave and said, "I HAVE RETURNED FROM THE DEAD!" Zigludo was given super strength meaning he won't be needing an army this time. "By the Descent of Jihad, I will not rest until I have my revenge!" and thus Zigludo begins on a journey to get his revenge.
Meanwhile at Ganon's lair, Arvis looked through crystal ball that can see everything, and discovered that Zigludo has come back from the dead, and he knows he must do something about it, so he reports this to Ganon.
"Master Ganon, Zigludo has come back from the dead, and he wants revenge!" said Arvis "What should I do?"
"Send my minions and make sure his face will die!" said Ganon. And so Arvis took his advice and send Ganon's minions to kill Zigludo.
Zigludo encounters his first enemy, and it is none other than the strongest there is, Cirno!
"Eye am the strongest, and nothing can beat me!" said Cirno "ICICLE FALL!" Cirno summons Icicle Fall, but she accidentally summoned the easy version, and Zigludo was able to detect the blind spot. Then Zigludo punched Cirno in the face and sent her flying to the moon!
"Enjoy your vacation on the moon, idiot fairy!" said Zigludo. Zigludo then continued to walk forward towards his destination. BUT then he encounters Glass!
"I am Glass! The gods fear my name! My swordplay is peerless!" Glass then takes his sword out. "Now Zigludo, you shall be sliced in half!" Glass does the GBA mercenary animation to cut Zigludo, but Zigludo stops sword with just his fingers.
"You gotta be shitting me!" said Glass as he is mad that his sword is stopped. Then Zilgudo destroys sword with just his mighty fingers.
"Now your sword is gone, and the same thing will happen to your heart!" said Zigludo as he gives a sinister look towards Glass.
"Ah shit!" said Glass as he fears the Zigludo. Zigludo sticks his hand in Glass's chest, then rips his heart out, and crushes his heart, covering Zigludo in blood, and killing Glass.
"ZIGLUDO WINS!" said Mortal Kombat announcer "FATALITY!"
After the death of Glass, Zigludo encounters Gheb!
"I am Gheb, the sexiest man alive, and you will GET IN MAH BELLY!" said the Gheb.
"My sword WILL go in YOUR BELLY!" said Zigludo as he brings his sword out. Zigludo stabs the sword into Gheb's body, making Gheb feel pain!
"OWWIE TEH PAIN!" said Gheb as he is in pain.
Then Zigludo takes sword out and lots of blood comes out of Gheb, and then Gheb died of blood lost.
"You will NEVER be as sexy as me!" said Zigludo.
Next, Zigludo is about to enter a VERY spooky field. As he enters, he meets the Ghost of Lex, and Lex has something to say.
"Hey Zigludo, don't crap your pants if you see a vampire out there!" said Lex
"Get lost, you wouldn't recognize a god damn vampire if one jumped up and bit you at the end of your fucking dick!" said Zigludo "So get off my back!" And Zigludo left Lex. Lex went back to Heaven.
Zigludo is about to fight an army of vampires led by the vampire Jedah from Darkstalkers.
"Zigludo, my vampires will destroy you!" said Jedah
"You cannot destroy me, as long as I have the Vampire Killer whip!" said Zigludo as he brings out the whip.
Jedah commands his army to kill Zigludo, and the vampires approached Zigludo. Zigludo uses the Vampire Killer whip to kill the vampires one by one. But when too many vampires surround Zigludo, Zigludo spams HYDRO STORM to kill the vampires. After killing the vampire army, Zigludo now faces Jedah.
"It seems I must be the one to kill you!" said Jedah
"You cannot kill me, vampire man!" said Zigludo.
And so Jedah combats Zigludo. Zigludo tried to whip Jedah, but Jedah used his wings to fly so he can avoid getting hit by the whip. Then Jedah used his scythe to cut the Vampire Killer whip.
"Hahahaha!" Jedah laughed "Now you can't kill me because you have no anti-vampire weapon!"
"You are wrong!" said Zigludo "My Tilfing will destroy you instead!"
"God fucking damn it!" said Jedah. Zigludo cuts Jedah in half, and Jedah dies with blood coming out from both sides of the body.
After killing vampires, Zigludo left the spooky field and is now on a regular field again. Zigludo continues to reach for his destination, but then he is encountered by Harold and his many clones.
"This is the end of you, Zigludo!" said Harold "My clones and I will bring you back to hell!" and so Harold and his many clones surround Zigludo.
Being surrounded, Zigludo goes Fist of the North Star by bulking his chest up, which rips his shirt up, making him shirtless. Then Zigludo uses the Hundred Fist Crack of the North Star to attack Harold and his clones while yelling, "ATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA WA TA!" Harold and his clones fell onto the ground, seemingly unhurt and and getting cocky.
"Ha, your attack was absolutely nothing!" said Harold with a smirky smile on his face.
Zigludo then pointed his finger at Harold and said, "You are already dead!"
"What!?" Harold said shockingly. Then Harold and his clones asplode in blood and gore. Zigludo's shirt magically reappeared in the condition it was in before.
Zigludo moves closer and closer to his destination, and then encounters Reptor.
"Zigludo, I am Reptor! I made Langobalt kill Kurt and Vylon! Now I get my chance to kill you!" said Reptor
"Reptor, you will pay for your crimes IN HELL!" said Zigludo.
And thus an epic battle between Zigludo and Reptor occurs! Reptor uses ThorHammer to electrocute Zigludo to death, but Zigludo deflects the attack with his sword, and ThorHammer hits Reptor instead. The electricity causes Reptor to asplode in blood and gore, and now Reptor is dead.
"Enjoy paying for your crimes in Hell!" said Zigludo.
After that, Zigludo finally reaches his destination, Ganon's Lair! However, the entrance is guarded by a demon known as Mara!
"That penis shaped monsters is blocking the entrance!" said Zigludo "I must eliminate it!"
And so Zigludo jumps onto Mara, and stabs his sword into Mara. Mara falls to the ground and dies. Manfroy walks out to find that Mara is dead.
"YOU FOOL!" Manfroy shouted "YOU KILLED MY PRECIOUS MARA! NOW I SHALL KILL YOU AND AVENGE MARA!" and so Manfroy summoned dark magic to hit Zigludo, but the hit rate is bad, and Zigludo easily dodged it. Zigludo then got up close to Manfroy and cut his head off with his sword. "NO, MY HEAD IS SEPARATED FROM MY BODY!" As Manfroy's head is about to land into water, a tuna jumps out of it and eats Manfroy head. Manfroy is now dead.
In Ganon's Lair, Arvis came to report Ganon on what has happened.
"My master, all your minions have been defeated!" said Arvis "What should we do now?"
"You will face Zigludo yourself!" said Ganon "It is your fate mah boi!"
And so Arvis took Ganon's order and awaits the arrival of Zigludo. Zigludo enters the lair, and he finds Arvis, the man who killed Zigludo during the Holy War two years ago.
"I never thought I would see you again, Zigludo!" said Arvis.
"Arvis, return my wife to me NAOW!" said Zigludo.
"Never!" said Arvis "She's my wife now, and I even had babies with her!"
"Arvis, you god damn fucking bastard!" said Zigludo "She was my wife first, and no one is allowed to have babies with her except me!" Zigludo brings out his sword and points it towards Arvis. "You will return her to me or else I will kill you!"
"Try me!" said Arvis as he prepares for combat! Arvis used Fala Flame on Zigludo, the thing that killed him during the Holy War. However, this time, Zigludo is immune to Fala Flame! "What, impossible!" Arvis was shocked to see the result "How did you not take damage?"
"My resistance stat is over 9000!" said Zigludo.
"But that's impossible!" said Arvis "There's no way that can be right!"
"Check my stat screen, you know for it to be true!" said Zigludo.
And so Arvis checked the stat screen and saw that Zigludo was not lying. "I will have to transform then!" said Arvis. Arvis then transformed into Alvis, which is Arvis, but with an Elvis Presley look. "Now feel the wrath of Disco Fala Flame!"
Alvis summoned Disco Fala Flame to do damage on Zigludo. However, Zigludo STILL took no damage. Zigludo then approached Alvis and stabbed him in the heart. Alvis transformed back into Arvis after being weakened.
"Now tell me where Deidre is at!" said Zigludo.
"She is... being held... captive... by Ganon..." said Arvis.
"I shall defeat this Ganon and reclaim my wife!" Zigludo then took his sword out of Arvis and Arvis died of blood loss. Zigludo then enters Ganon's room, where Ganon was awaiting Zigludo.
"Join me Zigludo, and I will make YOUR FACE the greatest in Jugdral!" said Ganon "Or else you will die!" Ganon fills the screen with his funny creepy looking face.
"Your face will be the end of you!" said Zigludo as he points his sword towards Ganon.
And thus, the final battle begins! Ganon shoots projectiles at Zigludo, but they all missed. Zigludo then throws a magical book at Ganon, and the book began to suck him.
"No, not into the pit!" said Ganon "IT BUUUUUUUUUUUUURNS!" Ganon is then sucked into the book, being imprisoned inside the book. Zigludo then took a lighter out and set the book on fire. As a result, Ganon is no more and shall NEVER come back! Zigludo then enters the room where Deidre is held captive, and Zigludo is happy to see her.
"Deidre, I am here to take you back!" said Zigludo. However, Deidre doesn't seem that happy.
"Sorry Zigludo, but I have a new husband now!" said Deidre. Deidre's new husband walks out of the shadow and it is none other than... LEVIN!
"What, Levin!?" said Zigludo "I thought you were dead!" Levin being Deidre's new husband gave Zigludo further shock.
"I was dead!" said Levin "But Holsety brought me back, and now I am Deidre's husband!"
"But I thought you were married to Fury!" said Zigludo.
"SHE'S DEAD, DAMN IT, AND I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT SOME PUSSY!" said Levin
"And I cannot allow my wife to be stolen twice!" said Zigludo.
Zigludo takes his sword out, Levin brings his Holsety out, and now the REAL final battle begins! Levin used Holsety to attack Zigludo, but Zigludo took no damage due to his resistance stat.
"Sorry Levin, but my resistance stat is over 9000!" said Zigludo.
"Then I will have to use a more DEADLY attack!" said Levin.
Levin's more deadly attack turned out to be the KNEE OF JUSTICE, and he knee'd Zigludo so hard that it put Zigludo in a state where he's unable to move.
"No, how can I be defeated!?" said Zigludo as he is shocked that he has lost.
"The Knee of Justice was your only weakness!" said Levin "Now I must end you!"
And so Levin took Zigludo's sword, and stabbed Zigludo in the heart, and Zigludo dies... AGAIN! After that, Levin became King of Jugdral and had many babies with Deidre.
THE END!