Disclaimer: I do not own or make any claim to the Mass Effect universe or the characters contained in this story, all of which are owned by BioWare and Electronic Arts. This is simply my interpretation of some events within the game universe.
[AN: Hey readers, thanks for checking out this story.
This is the first part of a 4-5 chapter piece that basically serves as my reinterpretation of Tali's romance arc in ME2.
As you may have guessed from the title, I wanted to explore the friendship behind the relationship. It's also why Garrus, Joker and Kasumi will be making occasional appearances throughout.
This first chapter is set almost straight after Tali's recruitment in ME2, which in my head-canon, happens immediately after Garrus' loyalty mission and Horizon.
I hope you enjoy the chapter./AN]
Normandy SR-2, Near the Perseus Veil (December 2, 2185, 1905 hours, Ship Time):
Shepard was currently pacing aimlessly on the Engineering deck, trying to determine where his Quarian friend could have got to; she hadn't seemed particularly pleased after the debrief.
He hadn't liked leaving Tali on her own on an unfamiliar ship (a Cerberus ship at that), particularly after everything that had happened on Haestrom, but he couldn't abandon his responsibilities to the rest of the crew until they had safely left Geth Space.
But seeing as the Normandy had exited the relay on the Terminus side of the Perseus Veil ten minutes ago, he had been trying to find her ever since. He had already checked Engineering but Ken told him that she had taken a quick look around and then left more than two hours ago.
It was strange, he had been certain she would have immediately immersed herself in the inner working of the new SR-2, but apparently recent events were still at the forefront of her mind.
He could sympathise with that.
Knowing he could search aimlessly for hours on a ship like this, Shepard decided he'd ask EDI for her location.
"EDI, can you tell me where Tali is currently?" He asked, seemingly to no-one.
"Tali'Zorah is currently in the Starboard Observation Deck. Is there anything else?" The measured voice of the AI responded from a nearby holo-panel as the familiar blue orb sprung into life.
"No EDI, thank you." Shepard replied, with a nod to her holographic avatar.
"Logging you out, Commander" The AI stated calmly.
'The Observation Deck?' he thought to himself, 'what is she doing in there? There's nothing to see. But, maybe that's the point…'
Exiting the elevator he made the short walk to the left then knocked on the door.
"Tali, it's Shepard. Can I come in?" He asked cautiously; it had been over two years since they had really had a chance to talk to each other and after everything that had happened on Haestrom… there was no way for Shepard to know exactly how she would be reacting to visitors.
"Shepard? Of course, please come in." The reply was familiar to Shepard but the voice was not. It sounded like she was on autopilot.
"I'm sorry we didn't get to talk earlier, until we got out of Geth Space I had to stay on duty." He offered as an explanation as he entered the room.
Tali was sitting rigidly in one of the recliners, staring blankly at the spectacular interplay of light and dark as the Normandy accelerated through the system at FTL .
"I understand, someone has to keep an eye on Joker." she said with a small laugh, though it was clear to both of them that it was more than a little forced.
A lifeless silence filled the small room after that. Shepard recognised the silence, it was the same one he practically radiated in the months immediately after Akuze, the unnerving quiet of sombre reflection and permeating guilt.
He wasn't going to let Tali fall into the same pit he had.
"How are you holding up? Haestrom was… rough, I'm sorry I didn't get there sooner."
"There wasn't anything more you could have done. You managed to save Reegar and I, and you let us complete our mission. No, this was my responsibility, my fault. They died because I wasn't good enough." Tali replied quickly, still staring resolutely forward.
She kept her voice carefully balanced, devoid of any obvious hints to her emotional state. It was a far cry from the passionate and highly expressive vocal range that he had quickly grown to associate with her; and that alone told him everything he needed to know.
"No, they died because the Geth killed them. They died because you were ordered to complete a mission inside Geth Space. This wasn't your fault." He replied softly, hoping to comfort her somewhat.
He almost laughed at the irony, this was exactly the type of thing people had tried to tell him after Akuze; and he hadn't listened all that well back then.
Unsurprisingly, Tali replied with a derisive snort.
"Says you, the man who takes every injury, every slip-up, every hitch on a mission as his own personal failing. The man who still carries the ghosts of Akuze around with him! Who are you to tell me what I am and am not responsible for?! Those people died under my command, I failed them!" Her voice had become choked with emotion as she whipped her head around to face him, eyes blazing.
Shepard couldn't help the shadow of pain that flickered across his face when she mentioned Akuze, but he was actually glad she still had that fire and emotion burning inside of her; it meant she could recover from this, wiser, more jaded, and more damaged, but she would recover.
Seeing Shepard's face fall at her mention of Akuze and the accompanying scathing remarks, Tali immediately regretted her outburst.
"Keelah, Shepard, I am so sorry, I didn't mean to-"
"It's alright Tali, you're right. Actually Garrus said something very similar only a week or so back." He replied, cutting her apology off; in his mind, there was nothing to apologise for, anyway.
"Garrus? I can't imagine him saying anything like that to you. What happened to him?" She asked, confusion clear in her tone.
She had turned around fully in her chair now so they were facing each other as Shepard slipped into another nearby recliner.
"It would be best to let him explain, but it suffices to say that we've all gone through a similar experience or two now." Activating his omni-tool he called up the Turian in question. "Garrus, can you join Tali and I on the Observation deck? There are… things that we should discuss."
"I'll be right there." Came the curt reply.
As Garrus walked through the door less than a minute later, Tali caught sight of the heavy scarring and numerous bandages covering the left side of his face and tried, unsuccessfully, to stifle a gasp. He had been in full armour when they re-united on Haestrom, like the rest of the squad, so his new makeover was a surprising, and concerning, development for her.
"I told you to try the face-paint, Garrus." Shepard quipped, his lips raised in a familiar smirk.
"And I said I wanted to give you a fair shot with the ladies." Garrus shot back, flicking his eyes quickly over to Tali then back to Shepard.
Shepard stiffened slightly but Tali was still too shocked by Garrus' new visage to notice the Commander's odd reaction.
"Good to see you back aboard Tali, and yes, I do look even more ruggedly handsome then I did when we last talked. I assume that this" he indicated towards his bandaged mandible "little story is why Shepard asked me over?"
"I figured we all have our own stories now, wounds that need to heal. We've all been through our own personal hell and we all carry scars from it; some more than others." He shot, eliciting an amused grunt from the Turian, despite the sombre topic at hand.
"I just wanted to let you know that you're among friends. We're always here if you need to talk." Shepard continued, looking straight into her eyes, and his gaze promising exactly what he had stated. Garrus nodded his head in agreement, the same look in his eyes.
She was silent for a moment as she processed her friend's solemn offer, her gaze focused on her nervously wringing hands, before she raised her head to reply.
"Thank you, both of you. I'm alright; it's just… so much loss, for data about stars blowing up." She said quietly, shaking her head in sadness. Looking up at Shepard, she continued, "Was it worth it? Was it worth so much death?"
"I don't know Tali. I honestly hope it was but… I don't know." Shepard replied equally quietly, meeting her eyes. They held each other's gaze for another couple of moments before Garrus excused himself.
"I should probably get back to the Main Battery, still got some work to do before the new cannon installation. It's good to have you back Tali; and if you ever need to talk, well, you know where to find me. My door's always open for a friend."
With his departure, Shepard and Tali were left alone, watching the stars as the ship sped through their midst, obscured and warped by the roiling haze of the Mass Effect filed the ship was enveloped in.
After a couple of minutes, it was Shepard who broke the silent contemplation by addressing the Elcor in the room.
"I know this whole Cerberus situation is uncomfortable for you, it's certainly not my idea of an ideal situation either, but thank you, for trusting me."
"Of course I trust you Shepard, you did so much for me one the original Normandy, how could I not? If you say you're not working for Cerberus, then I believe you. And besides, I know you; I know you wouldn't even consider working with them unless it was your only option. If you ever need me, I'll be there to help you." Tali replied without hesitation, the sincerity of the statement left in no doubt by the tone of her voice.
A small but bright smile cracked his features at her words. He couldn't help it, she sounded so much like how he remembered during the hunt for Saren; it was nice to know that not everything had changed, that not everything was completely screwed up after the last couple of years.
"That means a lot to me Tali, thank you; it's good to know I have some friends with me in all of this. And when you're ready to talk, I'll always be there to listen."
They continued to stare out at the shimmering void in front of them, sitting in a companionable silence. It was a solid ten minutes before Tali rose from her chair.
"I should probably get down to Engineering, I don't want the Chief Engineer to think I'm slacking." She said lightly as she turned towards the door, her usual enthusiasm largely back in place, though still tempered somewhat. "By the way, who is the Chief Engineer? I didn't see them when I went down earlier."
"Are you sure you want to start work already?" Shepard asked, ignoring her question in favour of focusing on his (not unreasonable) concern for her, considering all she had been through recently.
"I'm sure, it will be good to take my mind of things, even if only for a short while. Besides, you know how much I hate having nothing to do." She replied and Shepard just knew she was smirking under that helmet of hers. He chuckled at the memory of how exasperated she had become when she had first run out of things to do on the SR-1.
"That I do. In that case, how about I go down with you and introduce you to the team?"
Tali nodded and they both made their way down to Deck 4.
"Tali, allow me to introduce you to Ken Donnelly and Gabby Daniels, Power and Propulsion specialists respectively. They've been taking care of the Normandy since it left dock." Shepard said, gesturing to the pair of expert engineers/unintentionally comic duo in question.
"Ma'am, it's an honour to meet you." Gabby said formally as she stood rigidly at attention.
"Good to meet ya girly. You gonna be slummin' it down here with us then?" Ken greeted, rather less formally.
"Kenneth! Show some respect!" Gabby whispered viciously as she jabbed him in the ribs.
"Relax girl, she's just another grease monkey like us, not our new overlord or somesuch, right Tali?"
While they bickered in the background, John took the opportunity to fill Tali in on their history.
"I think you'll get along quite well with them; well, at least with Gabby. They were both serving on the SSV Perugia during the Battle of the Citadel, so they're well aware of the Reaper threat. They both joined up when they heard about what Cerberus was trying to do, so I don't think you'll have to worry about dealing with hardcore Cerberus operatives or anything; these two are about as close to being Cerberus die-hards as Joker or Chakwas." Shepard explained, shaking his head in mild exasperation as Ken let out another exclamation of pain.
"That's good to know, I wasn't really looking forward to working with Cerberus. But what about the Chief Engineer, surely they would be a Cerberus supporter?" Tali queried, still confused about who she would be reporting too; she had really missed working with Engineer Adams.
"I'm pretty certain she's not and I think you'll like her." Shepard said with a knowing smirk before getting Ken and Gabby's attention again.
"Ken, Gabby, meet your new overlord; Chief Engineer Tali'Zorah vas Neema."
Ken's face blanched slightly as his mouth fell open, shocked by his sudden change in circumstances. Tali whirled to face Shepard in surprise at his announcement. Only Gabby seemed unfazed by the news, crisply saluting her new superior.
"Shepard! Are you sure! I mean, I'm just a-" Tali began, surprise clearly evident in her voice.
Shepard cut her off before she could get started.
"Tali, I'm sure. You know more about taking care of a ship than anyone I've ever met and you've forgotten more about the SR-1 than most of her designers ever learned. There's no one I'd trust more to keep the Normandy in top shape."
Unable to think of something to say, she simply nodded her head emphatically as a sign of acceptance.
"If you're feeling up to it, Garrus and I were going to grab some drinks in my cabin at 2200 hours and you're more than welcome to join us. I know you might not feel up to it at the moment, but trust me, it can help."
Tali seemed to contemplate the offer for a moment, before nodding her head again.
"I'd like that; I'll be there."
"Glad to hear it, my cabin's on Deck 1. I'll let you organise your troops, Chief; see you at 2200."
Tali had spent the past two and a half hours pouring over the SR-2's specifications and familiarising herself with the work Ken and Gabby had done up to this point.
As much as she hated to admit it, Cerberus had done a fantastic job when they built the new Normandy.
Every single aspect of its predecessor was upgraded in some way, even its revolutionary Tantalus Drive Core; the upshot was that it was no longer a Stealth/Reconnaissance frigate, now it was heavy-hitting combat frigate that just happened to be impossibly fast and invisible to normal sensors.
Serving on the SR-1 had been a dream come true but serving on the SR-2 might just be heaven for her, even including the Cerberus link.
When Shepard had told her she was going to be the Chief Engineer she had barely managed to stop herself from wrapping her arms around him in a bone-crushing hug that would make Wrex proud (an urge she had admittedly been fighting since he showed up on Freedom's Progress, but managed to restrain herself).
He might not think much of the gesture but it would have been hugely unprofessional, even if they were friends; plus she wasn't sure if she would have ever let go.
That damn crush was still affecting her; even him being dead for two years hadn't managed to stop it from rushing straight back when she saw him again. And he had to go and save her life again (twice!) and give her the post of Chief Engineer on the most amazing ship she had ever set foot on; damn him, the bosh'tet, he wasn't helping!
Her internal conflict continued to rage in her head as she left Engineering and entered the elevator.
'He's just my friend, that's all he'll ever be. But maybe if I do a good enough job as Chief Engineer he might consider… No, don't be stupid, he only see's you as a friend, can only see you as a friend. Besides, he's never shown any interest in any of his crew before, not Ashley or even Liara, and even if he did he would surely go for that Cerberus bosh'tet of an XO he has now; her suit's tighter than mine! Why am I jealous of her? I have no reason to be jealous, it's not like he'd even consider me in the first place, I'm just his friend. But the way he looked at me when he tried to comfort me about Haestrom… No, I'm not doing this to myself, I just need to accept I can only ever be a friend to him. Ugh, damn this crush…and it is just a crush; definitely just a crush…'
She tried to wrap her thoughts up and focus on the task at hand when she finally noticed she had been standing in an open elevator waiting for her to exit onto Deck 1 for the better part of a minute.
Already cursing her foolishness she began wringing her hands together nervously as she approached the door, unsure of exactly where his cabin was on this deck as she hadn't been shown any part of it on the tour.
Stepping through the door, she was completely unprepared for the sight before her.
A sizeable cabin stretched away from the door, with a large double bed at the far end and an eight-seater lounge and office space to the right. As if the sight could be any stranger for a military vessel, a good portion of the left wall was an aquarium! She stared in shock as her mind realised that this must be Shepard's cabin and tried to process the extravagance on display in front of her.
A familiar voice rocked her from her stupor as she noticed Shepard reclining on the lounge with a datapad in hand.
"Glad you could make it Tali. Take a seat, Garrus should be up any minute with the drinks." He said before he noticed her staring wide-eyed at the cabin. "Oh, yeah… I probably should have mentioned that my cabin is Deck 1," he said, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, "I don't have the slightest clue what Cerberus was thinking when they added an aquarium or lounge suite to a warship but I've just added it to a long list of things that I'll never understand about them."
She didn't respond and just sat down on the couch in silence, still staring at the room around her.
Deciding that this was starting to get slightly awkward, he broke the ice with a question that he knew would get her talking.
"So, how's the new Normandy treating you? From what I understand, she's pretty much a straight upgrade over the SR-1."
Finally snapping out of her gawking, she began to explain all of the new features with wide-eyed excitement. She was only interrupted halfway through gushing over the improved IES systems when Garrus walked through the door and deposited couple of bags of snacks and some drinks on the table before dropping into the Turian recliner in front of it.
"Shepard, here's your usual," he said as he slid the can and a bag of some type of colourful food over to him before turning to her, "Sorry Tali, I wasn't sure if you would want much but I got you a tube of nutrient paste and a couple of sealed drinks, take your pick. So, what were we talking about?"
"Tali was just gracing me with an explanation of the SR-2's enhanced Stealth Systems." Shepard replied as he cracked open his can.
"Riiiight, and you were just nodding along and pretending you understood?" Garrus drawled, mandibles flaring in amusement.
"No, Tali's been a very patient and articulate teacher." He shot back defensively as he glared at the smart-ass Turian.
"I wonder why that is…" Garrus muttered as he shot a glance between the two.
Shepard rolled his eyes and ignored the implication before making his own jab.
"Besides, I'm not technologically illiterate; I bet I know more about those Thanix Cannons you want to install than you do."
"Hah, you just keep thinking that Shepard; maybe one day it will magically come true." Garrus chuckled dismissively, already falling into the familiar routine of quips and counters.
They continued to trade barbs back and forth while Tali relaxed on the couch and sipped her drink, adding her own sharp tongue to the argument on occasion (usually in support of Shepard, much to Garrus' combined amusement and exasperation).
They talked into the night and Tali couldn't help but feel as though she was back on the original Normandy, after they'd stopped Sovereign. It's almost as if the intervening two years had never happened or had been some terrible dream that she was finally waking up from; and one that she hoped she'd never have again.
[AN: So there you are, I hope you liked my take on the events.
If you have any questions, just ask, and I would love whatever feedback you have.
If you're interested, stay tuned for the next chapter, which should be up in a couple of days, if not sooner.
Thanks for reading! /AN]