Author: Jessica (StarSapphireZ)
Rating: PG13 for Windex abuse and a reference to a certain male... umm...function...
Disclaimer: Does anyone really think a humble fanfic writer like myself owns DBZ? No. Has one ever been sued for writing a fanfic? Not that I know of... But I'll say it anyway... I don't own DBZ, so don't sue me! The only thing I can really give is my siblings, and wouldn't it be a pity if I lost them! O=) This story IS my hard work though, so please don't take it for any use without my permission. Also, I've seen most of Dragonball Z, but not all, so please forgive any inconsistancy.
I don't own Windex either. And I won't be responsible for anyone who actually tries drinking it after reading this story. It's not a good idea.
Archive?: Do you really wanna? =P Please contact me and ask first! I'm generally a nice person...
Summary: Suppose Piccolo and Gohan ingested enough Windex to kill a normal human being... Short and kinda OOC due to the fact that the characters are just acting like idiots. Feel free to read if you're bored.
Note: Yeah, I know this is lame. I'm not as good with humor as I am with...other stuff. This story is the result of having to Windex too much at work. Look on the bright side, at least I didn't write about having to fill envelopes. I work in a card shop and I swear, sometimes people just come in and steal the envelopes we put out with the cards! Ooh, I can see it now...the sequel..."Gohan and Piccolo Steal Envelopes." Naah, I'm not THAT bored. =) Better stuff coming soon, I promise!
Site Plug: Electronic Wings Remix (The Spirit of DBZ; with a funky dance beat!) -- http://spirit__vs__spirit.tripod.com
I welcome fanfic submissions (and fanart too!)
Piccolo winced as the floorboards creaked beneath his feet. He was sneaking into the Son residence at 1:00 AM and trying to be as quiet as possible. He didn't want to wake Chi Chi and face her wrath. He had denied it for a long time, but he had been rather lonely in this time of peace. It had been three years since the arrival of the androids and the defeat of Cell. Three years since he had shared the silent comradeship of the other senshi in battle. And he hadn't seen all that much of his student, Gohan, since those days. Gohan wasn't too big on fighting since Goku's demise, and Piccolo hadn't pushed him to train. The boy was usually at home studying to make up for lost time, and helping his mother care for his little brother.
In the middle of meditation, Piccolo decided that it was time for him to visit Gohan again. He'd simply go wake the boy, perhaps talk him into some training; he'd been letting him slack off too much.
He made his way through the kitchen when a bottle of blue liquid on the counter caught his eye. "Industrial Strength Windex", read it's label. Piccolo didn't know what that meant, but to the Namekseijin, it looked like a rather refreshing brand of water... He picked it up, examining the nozzle and accidentally squirting some of it into his face. He felt dizzy as the chemical scent overwhelmed him. After a few moments he made a hiccuping sound. "This Windex is good water!" he said with glee.
Gohan sat up in bed, rubbing his eyes. Strange noises were coming from downstairs. Was his brother raiding the fridge? Or had someone broken in? He pulled off the covers and tiptoed out to investigate. What he found was a rather surprising scene. Piccolo was sloppily wiping the wall with a dishtowel and the room was filled with obnoxious fumes that made Gohan feel a little woozy.
"Piccolo-san? Whatcha doin'?" he asked, blinking.
"Hi Gohan! Uhh...Windexin'!" he said. "See?" he spritzed the blue solution in Gohan's face then pulled the nozzle off the bottle and began to guzzle it.
"Piccolo...uhh...you're scaring...me..." Gohan's head began to spin. "Oooh...pretty dinosaurs." he giggled suddenly. Piccolo looked around.
"I don't see any dinosaurs Gohan. Just a few...sandwiches..." he offered the windex bottle to Gohan, who took a few sips. "Mm...isn't this good stuff?"
"Yesss!" Gohan answered, staggering back and forth a little bit. "Ya know what Piccolo?"
"What?"
"I love you!"
"I am the man with the hair!"
"But you don't have hair...you have..." Gohan began to say, then his eyes went wide with shock. "Aah, what's that thing on your head?!"
Piccolo nervously reached up a hand, feeling his weighted turban. "AAH!" he screamed, throwing it to the ground. "AAH!" screamed the two in unison and ran out the door.
Hidden in the forest outside the house, Gohan and Piccolo clung to each other trembling.
"What was that thing, Gohan?" Piccolo asked.
"I don't know...but it was BAD. It was going to eat my octopus."
"That is bad!" Piccolo said, clutching Gohan tighter.
"The Earth could be doomed!" Gohan gasped.
"But there is hope for us yet..." Piccolo continued. "Someone will have to fight for the future of our planet. And I know just who...
"Who?"
"Mr. Satan, the World Martial Arts Champion, Defender of Justice!"
"You mean that blonde-haired kid that defeated that perfect dude?" Gohan asked.
"Umm...actually I think he was bigger and hairier." Piccolo said, "Who are you, anyway?"
"Piccolo." said Gohan.
"Hi Piccolo, I'm Jason." said Piccolo, releasing Gohan from his grasp. "Anyhow, we must hurry, for the lives of millions hang in the balance! To Satan City!"
"TO SATAN CITY!" Gohan echoed with enthusiasm.
There was a knock at Mr. Satan's door. "Who could it be at this hour?" he mumbled as he went to answer. "Not the press...I don't think...." He opened the door and practically jumped.
"Those guys from the Cell Game!" he thought to himself, panicking.
"What do you want?" he asked Piccolo and Gohan. "Please...please...I'm sorry I lied and said that I defeated Cell! I'll give you anything you want, just don't hurt me!" he cowered.
Piccolo began to shake him. "Please, you have to help us!" he said. "There was a thing on my head...and...it was gonna...eat octopus...I don't know, but it was bad!"
Mr. Satan blinked. "They must be messing with me." he thought to himself.
Just then a young girl with black pigtails walked out in a nightgown. "Papa, what's going on?" she asked.
Gohan stared at her for a moment. "It got big!" he gasped. "It got really...really big...!" He turned around and grabbed Piccolo by the arm. "Come on, we gotta go!"
"Why?" Piccolo asked, "Is it back?"
"I don't know!" answered Gohan, and the two went running off into the night.
Videl looked at her father, who had a huge sweatdrop on his forehead. "Umm...ha ha...just
some crazy fans!" he said. She shrugged and went back to bed.