Author's Note: Hey, if you thought my other fics were lame, this one is FUNNY! I'm not lying, I think it's my best one yet. REALLY, this one is kewl.
FOR YOUR COMIC RELIEF...
THE EXPANDABLE COUCH
"Alright, that concludes today's lesson, everyone keep in mind that only Hermione got her egg to turn into a quaffle. That reminds me; Hermione, I need to talk with you." McGonagall said, as her Transfiguration class cleared out of the room.
"Hermione, do you think you could find a different place to stay? Your bed -- well let's just say it can't be slept in tonight."
"Well, yeah, I'm sure I can," Hermione said, looking confused, "But why can't I stay in my own bed?"
"You'll find out, um...maybe tomorrow," McGonagall said, looking a bit nervous.
Hermione left the classroom and joined Ron and Harry.
"Weird, wonder why you can't go in your dorm," Harry said after Hermione explained what McGonagall had told her.
"Oh well, anyway, I have to go to Arithmancy. I'll see you guys."
Ron and Harry went up to Divination, while Hermione headed toward to her Arithmancy class.
* * * * * * * * * * *
"I hate Potions! It's so...so..."
"Incredibly stupid and a waste of time," Ron said, finishing Harry's sentence as they sat down for dinner.
"Exactly! Why does Snape have to be a teacher?"
"It could be worse," Ron said, "He could be a marriage counselor or a talk show host. See how well that suits him."
The plates cleared, and students headed up to their dorms, but it was halfway up the stairs when Hermione stopped, knocking Ron down.
"Well, where am I supposed to sleep?" She asked Ron.
"How about the couch in the common room?"
Hermione stared at Ron, looked over to the couch, and then back at Ron. "But it's so small. Not to be selfish, but it's just not going to work."
"Well it is expandible, you know," Ron said.
"Oh really? I never knew that!"
"Oh sorry! My mistake, it isn't in Hogwarts, A History, so you couldn't know about it."
"Ha ha ha, very funny," Hermione said, sarcastically. "How do you do it?"
Ron took out his wand and pointed it to the side of the couch. "Hankis Pankis," he yelled, and suddenly it sprung out and became a large bed. "There you go, well then, goodnight."
"Umm...Ron? I don't want to stay here by myself!"
"Okay, then I'll stay with you. Would that make you feel better? Jeez, are you scared?"
"No, I'm not scared. But would you?"
Hermione set up her pillows and got covered up in the blankets. Ron followed suite and soon both of them had fallen fast asleep.
"MR. WEASLEY! MISS GRANGER! WAKE UP!"
Ron jolted up and looked around. He soon came face to face with an extremely angry, red faced Professor McGonagall.
"EXPLAIN!" McGonagall ordered.
"It's not what it looks like, Professor!" Hermione said, inching away from Ron.
"You know, Mr. Weasley, we do have boys' dorms and girls' dorms for a reason, why are you here?"
"Well, I thought I should stay with Hermione, since she couldn't have her bed and all," Ron said, looking to Hermione for support.
"Ah, but you must have forgotten all about your own bed! And I want to know why the couch is expanded! It's strictly for the professors' usage, and students shouldn't be toying with it!"
"Getting it on with Snape in here," Ron muttered under his breath, but it was too late to do anything; McGonagall had heard Ron and turned a slight pink.
"What did you say?" McGonagall asked, looking furious, "Five points from Gryffindor! I've never heard such foul talk!"
Ron looked shocked. "But Gryffindor is your house!"
"Do you want me to make it another ten?"
"Er..no professor," Ron said quickly.
"Now, Miss Granger, you've got a good reason to stay, so you may, but Mr. Weasley --"
"I know, I know, my bed's fine so I can go upstairs and sleep there," Ron broke in, "Well then, g'night!" Ron dashed up to the boys' dorms, not wanting to lose any more points.
"I didn't expect this from you, Hermione," McGonagall said, a bit quieter than she was talking before.
"I didn't think it was safe, so I asked him to stay, and I'm really, really sorry. It will not happen again, I promise." Hermione said, trying to sound responsible.
"It most certainly will not! Now get some sleep."
"Professor, what exactly are you doing in here? I mean, if you don't mind my asking."
"Oh, nothing really," McGonagall said, blushing, "Just came up to see where you were sleeping. I bet that Fred and George are the ones who got the couch to expand. Those two have found out way too many things around here."
Hermione giggled as McGonagall left. Hermione soon fell into a deep slumber, and didn't even notice it when McGonagall sneaked up into the girls' dorms.
The next morning the Ron, Harry and Hermione went downstairs.
"So you made the couch expand, Ron?" Fred and George asked their brother.
"Yeah, why?"
"Good job! That means you've learned something valuable from the two of us!"
"What's the couch expandible for?" Harry asked, suddenly interested.
"For McGonagall and Snape," Ron answered, matter-of-factly.
"Ron! What are you saying?!"
"Well, Hermione, don't tell me you haven't noticed all the little gifts on Snape's desk!"
Hermione clapped a hand to her forehead. "What?! Oh my god, you're serious, he does have little things from a woman on his desk! Wait, maybe it's someone else!"
Ron shook his head sadly.
"That's awful!" Hermione shouted, "How could that possibly be? I mean, they HATE each other, don't they?"
"Well, we hated each other at first, didn't we?"
"Miss Granger, your room is fine for tonight," McGonagall said, turning to leave.
"What was wrong with it? The room? My bed?" Hermione asked, as McGonagall faced her.
"Oh...well, we just had to do a clean up. Nothing really."
"But it was clean already, why clean it again?"
"We have our reasons," McGonagall said sharply. "See you in class." She muttered as she walked off.
"Hey you guys! Did you know Snape was with McGonagall in our dorms?" Parvati asked asked, coming up to the trio.
"We were wondering why we had to find other places to sleep, so we spied. And they were actually being nice and mushy and EWW!" Lavender added in.
"Yeah, Lav, good thing we left when we did!"
"TOLD YOU SO!" Ron said turning to Hermione.
AND THAT'S WHAT REALLY HAPPENED!
Author's Note: Sorry, this was for humor's sake only. I'm not trying to offend anyone with that whole McG/Snape thing, so don't be offended!
FOR YOUR COMIC RELIEF...
THE EXPANDABLE COUCH
"Alright, that concludes today's lesson, everyone keep in mind that only Hermione got her egg to turn into a quaffle. That reminds me; Hermione, I need to talk with you." McGonagall said, as her Transfiguration class cleared out of the room.
"Hermione, do you think you could find a different place to stay? Your bed -- well let's just say it can't be slept in tonight."
"Well, yeah, I'm sure I can," Hermione said, looking confused, "But why can't I stay in my own bed?"
"You'll find out, um...maybe tomorrow," McGonagall said, looking a bit nervous.
Hermione left the classroom and joined Ron and Harry.
"Weird, wonder why you can't go in your dorm," Harry said after Hermione explained what McGonagall had told her.
"Oh well, anyway, I have to go to Arithmancy. I'll see you guys."
Ron and Harry went up to Divination, while Hermione headed toward to her Arithmancy class.
* * * * * * * * * * *
"I hate Potions! It's so...so..."
"Incredibly stupid and a waste of time," Ron said, finishing Harry's sentence as they sat down for dinner.
"Exactly! Why does Snape have to be a teacher?"
"It could be worse," Ron said, "He could be a marriage counselor or a talk show host. See how well that suits him."
The plates cleared, and students headed up to their dorms, but it was halfway up the stairs when Hermione stopped, knocking Ron down.
"Well, where am I supposed to sleep?" She asked Ron.
"How about the couch in the common room?"
Hermione stared at Ron, looked over to the couch, and then back at Ron. "But it's so small. Not to be selfish, but it's just not going to work."
"Well it is expandible, you know," Ron said.
"Oh really? I never knew that!"
"Oh sorry! My mistake, it isn't in Hogwarts, A History, so you couldn't know about it."
"Ha ha ha, very funny," Hermione said, sarcastically. "How do you do it?"
Ron took out his wand and pointed it to the side of the couch. "Hankis Pankis," he yelled, and suddenly it sprung out and became a large bed. "There you go, well then, goodnight."
"Umm...Ron? I don't want to stay here by myself!"
"Okay, then I'll stay with you. Would that make you feel better? Jeez, are you scared?"
"No, I'm not scared. But would you?"
Hermione set up her pillows and got covered up in the blankets. Ron followed suite and soon both of them had fallen fast asleep.
"MR. WEASLEY! MISS GRANGER! WAKE UP!"
Ron jolted up and looked around. He soon came face to face with an extremely angry, red faced Professor McGonagall.
"EXPLAIN!" McGonagall ordered.
"It's not what it looks like, Professor!" Hermione said, inching away from Ron.
"You know, Mr. Weasley, we do have boys' dorms and girls' dorms for a reason, why are you here?"
"Well, I thought I should stay with Hermione, since she couldn't have her bed and all," Ron said, looking to Hermione for support.
"Ah, but you must have forgotten all about your own bed! And I want to know why the couch is expanded! It's strictly for the professors' usage, and students shouldn't be toying with it!"
"Getting it on with Snape in here," Ron muttered under his breath, but it was too late to do anything; McGonagall had heard Ron and turned a slight pink.
"What did you say?" McGonagall asked, looking furious, "Five points from Gryffindor! I've never heard such foul talk!"
Ron looked shocked. "But Gryffindor is your house!"
"Do you want me to make it another ten?"
"Er..no professor," Ron said quickly.
"Now, Miss Granger, you've got a good reason to stay, so you may, but Mr. Weasley --"
"I know, I know, my bed's fine so I can go upstairs and sleep there," Ron broke in, "Well then, g'night!" Ron dashed up to the boys' dorms, not wanting to lose any more points.
"I didn't expect this from you, Hermione," McGonagall said, a bit quieter than she was talking before.
"I didn't think it was safe, so I asked him to stay, and I'm really, really sorry. It will not happen again, I promise." Hermione said, trying to sound responsible.
"It most certainly will not! Now get some sleep."
"Professor, what exactly are you doing in here? I mean, if you don't mind my asking."
"Oh, nothing really," McGonagall said, blushing, "Just came up to see where you were sleeping. I bet that Fred and George are the ones who got the couch to expand. Those two have found out way too many things around here."
Hermione giggled as McGonagall left. Hermione soon fell into a deep slumber, and didn't even notice it when McGonagall sneaked up into the girls' dorms.
The next morning the Ron, Harry and Hermione went downstairs.
"So you made the couch expand, Ron?" Fred and George asked their brother.
"Yeah, why?"
"Good job! That means you've learned something valuable from the two of us!"
"What's the couch expandible for?" Harry asked, suddenly interested.
"For McGonagall and Snape," Ron answered, matter-of-factly.
"Ron! What are you saying?!"
"Well, Hermione, don't tell me you haven't noticed all the little gifts on Snape's desk!"
Hermione clapped a hand to her forehead. "What?! Oh my god, you're serious, he does have little things from a woman on his desk! Wait, maybe it's someone else!"
Ron shook his head sadly.
"That's awful!" Hermione shouted, "How could that possibly be? I mean, they HATE each other, don't they?"
"Well, we hated each other at first, didn't we?"
"Miss Granger, your room is fine for tonight," McGonagall said, turning to leave.
"What was wrong with it? The room? My bed?" Hermione asked, as McGonagall faced her.
"Oh...well, we just had to do a clean up. Nothing really."
"But it was clean already, why clean it again?"
"We have our reasons," McGonagall said sharply. "See you in class." She muttered as she walked off.
"Hey you guys! Did you know Snape was with McGonagall in our dorms?" Parvati asked asked, coming up to the trio.
"We were wondering why we had to find other places to sleep, so we spied. And they were actually being nice and mushy and EWW!" Lavender added in.
"Yeah, Lav, good thing we left when we did!"
"TOLD YOU SO!" Ron said turning to Hermione.
AND THAT'S WHAT REALLY HAPPENED!
Author's Note: Sorry, this was for humor's sake only. I'm not trying to offend anyone with that whole McG/Snape thing, so don't be offended!