Ch. 1: Attack in the Store and News Under Fire
It's been about three years since the Pokémon Wars ended. Ash and Misty are still married. Ash has finally achieved the title of Pokémon master, but now he's got a lot of thing to think about, more than he could ever know.
Tonight, Ash is doing some shopping in Cerulean City, even for some strange items: mostly sweets for his beloved wife. He's got no idea why she's asking for that stuff, they've been happy so far. He's dressed in black boots, blue pants, a white undershirt, a golden utility belt, a blue jacket, and cool fedora tonight. Pikachu followed him by his feet.
As he entered the store, a teenaged version of Nurse Joy sighed at his presence (call her Pre-Nurse Joy). She knows that he's married; it's just that he's still good-looking.
Ash went to the cashier, one of the male clerks replied, "Hello. How are you? Nice weather we're having today." Ash replied, "Yeah, really nice weather. What sweets are available tonight?" Pre-Nurse Joy tapped his left shoulder and showed him where they are. He shook her hand, "Thank you."
He looked at his grocery list carefully, while looking over the candy and pastries; most of them are all for Misty for some reason.
Before going home with about six bags full of groceries, he eyed two suspicious-looking dudes in leather jackets. One of them asked one of the clerks, "Excuse me. Do you have any police officers around here?" The clerks replied, "Only Pre-Officer Jenny (a teenaged version of Officer Jenny), sir."
Ash's suspicions were confirmed! He placed his groceries down and placed to two men in jackets in a chokehold! Pre-Nurse Joy asked him, "Mr. Ketchum, what are you doing?" Ash told Pikachu, "Check for weapons, buddy." Pikachu crawled into the jackets, and pulled out a submachine gun and a missile launcher!
Ash told the two, "You two wouldn't happen to be criminals now would you?" Realizing who was choking them is, they said, "Yes, we are." He threw them onto the ground hard and Pikachu shocked them with a Thunder Shock!
Pre-Officer Jenny came by, "Geez, Mr. Ketchum––" Ash showed her his Team Hope Lieutenant Badge in his wallet. Jenny sighed, "Whoa, and my little sister is already a sergeant, and she's just 8 years old." Ash asked her, "What are you, young Jenny?" She replied, "Through the damage I've caused by not letting the bomb squad come by, I'm busted down to patrol labor until further notice."
Her radio beeped, she checked it, "Yes?" Her mother's voice (the actual Officer Jenny so you would want to know) replied, "A weapon-wielding thug is on 4th Avenue, and Team Hope are also underway there as well." Ash borrowed little Jenny's radio and replied to her mother, "Team Hope Lieutenant Ash Ketchum and your firstborn daughter are underway, Officer Jenny."
Ash and Pikachu ran out the door! Then he came back in, "Take care of my groceries please, it will be for only a few minutes." The clerks nodded, "Sure."
Ash ran out the door, where a golden-colored Team Hope car came by, the driver's side door opened and revealed Ash's brother-in-law, Marty Waterflower, who said to him, "Come on, Ash!" Ash jumped into the car and closed the door!
As the vehicle made it to 4th Avenue, they all saw the weapon-wielding thug, in full body armor and wielding two weapons, an odd-looking assault rifle and a flamethrower. The damage he dealt so far was a few burning buildings.
Gary asked in surprise, "What the hell? Who's this joker?" Ash sighs, "I don't know, representative for the NRA, maybe." Gary asked the others, "What do we do?"
Ash answered, "Run him over." Gary asked What if he turns around and shoots us with that assault rifle?" Nick understood Ash's plan, "Well he hasn't yet. Have you thought about that? Don't be a don't-be, be a do-be. C'mon dudes, be positive, now." Gary yelled, "WELL LET'S RUN HIM OVER." James groans, "Good, I'm glad you see things his way."
Brock moans, "I hope he doesn't turn around." James reassured his 'new' buddy, "He won't turn around. We'll creep up on him. WILL him not to turn." Meowth asked his good friend, "Will him?" Ash understood, "Yeah, that's the power of positive thinking. C'mon WILL him not to turn. DON'T TURN AROUND, PLEASE DON'T TURN AROUND." He noticed that they weren't helping, "C'mon I need you, men."
Gary and the others chant, "DON'T TURN AROUND." James agreed, "That's it. DON'T TURN AROUND. DON'T TURN AROUND. We're better than him." Nick goes for it, "DON'T TURN AROUND." They chant some more, "YEAH. DON'T TURN AROUND. DON'T TURN AROUND." The flame-throwing assailant turned around, Ash realizes, "He's turning."
The car stopped with its side facing the villain! They stepped out with their own guns and fired on him, while their Pokémon fired non-solid attacks at him (fire, water, electricity, etc.); to their surprise, the bullets and other attacks bounced right off him!
Ash took a good and deeper look at the guy, "Oh man, this dude knows how to apply Fusenergy too! He's got an Aggron for an attack-proof suit of armor, a Shiftry for an assault rifle, and a Torkoal for a flamethrower!"
(A/N: if you don't know what Fusenergy is, read my other Pokémon fan fiction stories!)
Marty exclaimed, "He's got enough Fusenergy to make our attacks bounce right off him!" James whimpered, "I know! We're in trouble!"
Ash told the men, "I'll draw his fire; you run for cover!" Gary grabbed his former rival, "No. No, no, no. I'll draw his fire; you run for cover!"
Ash became furious, "What are you, out of your mind? You got a wife, a job. I've got titanium Kevlar and Nomex on, you're safer this way!" Gary whimpered, "Ash, we weren't supposed to tell you this, but Misty's pregnant and you're going to be a father." Ash roared, "No, Gary! Get going. Get––" Ash did a 'double take' movement of his head, before realizing what Gary just said, "What did you say?" Brock yelled out, "YOU'RE GOING TO BE A FATHER!"
Gary sighs, "She was afraid the pressure might be too much for you!" James asked the younger man, "Have you two ever talked about children?" Ash, feeling surprised, just said to himself, "A baby?"
Now the whole craving that Misty was having makes perfect sense!
Now its Ash's turn to feel kind of guilty, "Um, there's something I didn't want tell the rest of you too." Brock didn't pay much attention, but he calmly replied, "What?" Ash answered, "Your wives are pregnant too, you're going to be grandfathers." Spooked, James grabbed Ash by the shoulders and exclaimed, "Jessie's what?"
Brock begged, "My wife, Ruby, can't be pregnant! I mean we've only––" Then he realized what he was about to say next, "Oh!" Ash sweat-drops, "Yeah, you've only done it a little." Gary sighed, "Can't control destiny much, huh?" Drew asked Ash, "What the hell? And I thought Sakura was acting strange a few days ago." Marty was surprised that he got Duplica pregnant, "Well, I didn't think we intended to get that way."
Gary asked Ash, "May told you that she's been asking my grandfather to be a great-grandfather?" Ash nodded.
Ash passed some green Fusenergy into Pikachu, turning him into a handsome humanoid version of himself in a golden trench coat and fedora (a la "Van Helsing").
Gary asked, "What are you doing?" Ash replied, "I'm going to take my clothes off!" James asked, "What the hell for?"
That broke Brock's mind, "And out in public?" Ash explained, "I take my clothes off; only down to my underwear, Flame-O turns to see me, that will distract him; I know it will distract you, then that's when Pikachu gets his chance!" Gary asked, "His chance to do what?" Pikachu quietly answered, "That valve on his napalm tank!"
Marty pulls his shirt off, "There goes my dignity; now what am I going to say to my sisters?" Ash asks his brother-in-law, "What are you doing?" Marty explained, as he took his shoes off, "I figure it would work better if we all had been stripped down to our underwear."
Reluctantly, the other men did the same as Ash.
Gary grabbed Ash, "Did you sleep with her?" Ash replied, "Of course I did!" Gary shook him up a little, "You idiot! That's my wife!" Ash defended, "Oh, you meant May! Only before I left my group before the war started, I thought you were talking about Misty!" Gary lets go, "Sorry." Then he looked up to the sky as if he was talking to god, "Please, let my kid be an Oak!" James joked, "Ouch! That must really hurt to give birth to that kind of child."
Pikachu said to his friend, "He's coming closer, I'm going move out of the way, buddy!" Ash nodded, "Good."
Ash then tried to stifle a laugh as he got a good look at Gary's underwear, "Are those light-pink?" Gary, feeling embarrassed, shouted to Ash, "What about that gas valve?" Brock asked as he stripped down to his underwear, "What's the next phase of your 'great' plan, Ash?"
Ash answered, "To go around, clucking and flapping my wings like a bird." "Why?" Marty figured out why, "To distract him more?" Ash nodded, "Yeah, Marty!" Marty growled in his throat, "On three!" Ash yelled, "No time for three; go for one!"
James cried out, "One! TWO! LET'S GO!"
As Ash got out to draw the flamer's fire first, Tracey groaned out loud, "I don't want to die in my underwear, Ash!"
Ash acted like a big Torchic in his underwear first!
(A/N: to understand better, Ash is flapping his arms like little wings and hopping around making sounds a Torchic makes, followed by the others)
As the flamethrower is pointed to poor James, Ash shouted to Pikachu, "NOW!"
Pikachu, in Gabriel Van Helsing mode, pulled out a pistol that looks like it was formed from Ash's Swellow, and fired at the valve with bullets of high-pressured electricity, causing the human flamethrower to become a human rocket, sending him sky-high before exploding!
As a charred set of human bones landed on the ground, the Pokémon partnered with it reverted to their actual forms, leaving shells of their Fusenergy forms they were in earlier. Now they are wild Pokémon without a trainer. That was changed when Pikachu used the Swellow Pistol to fire bullets of electricity, weakening them to a knock out!
Gary cheered for their current victory against crime, "Wonderful, Ash! I guess that Torchic thing helped, huh?" Ash just said, "No, I just thought it get you to laugh because I'd thought the old you would like the old me do it."
Frustrated with Ash, now knowing that he was doing it to withstand the embarrassment instead of them, Gary frowned, "I don't believe you, Ash Ketchum!"
Together they gathered the knocked out Pokémon as the police took care of the rest. Pre-Officer Jenny commented to Ash, "Cute behind you have there, Mr. Ketchum."
Realizing that they need their clothes too, they moved back.
Ash asked his friends, "How would you dudes feel if I buy you some doughnuts?" as he patted Marty and Gary's backs. Marty sighed, "That would be great." Gary flailed his arms around, "Don't touch others when they're walking around half-naked!" Then Pikachu mimicked the voice of Sean Connery while saying to Gary, "Well, surely you're not ashamed of your butt."
To the next chapter…