Disclaimers: Not mine, non-profit.
Spoilers: Probably any episode of JAG up until season 8, nothing specific except a reference to "Boomerang".
A/N: Story takes place prior mid-season 8, so there is no Mattie, no Webb relationship, and no Paraguay aftermath. POV switches between Harm and Mac, hope it's not too confusing
The distant buzzing of the alarm woke Harm from a fitful sleep. Dragging himself from the center of the bed, he slammed his fist down on the annoying device, his only thought to cease the persistent, nagging noise.
It took a moment to register the day and time - Saturday morning 0700. Harm's thoughts were jumbled. 'Supposed to go running with Mac...need to get moving.' Still half asleep, he stumbled out of bed and stretched, feeling the effects of a poor night's sleep. He walked to the bathroom and leaned on the sink to get a closer look at his reflection. "I'm getting too old for this shit," he thought mirthlessly, taking in his haggard appearance, dark shadows under his eyes.
The "shit", of course, was relentless dreams, night after night, of making love to Mac. His mornings usually began with a cold shower and a mental slap on the forehead. 'Get your head where it belongs, or you're in deep trouble,' he thought. He couldn't face Mac unless he was prepared and focused, or else he might do something stupid. Like tear off her clothes. Or declare his undying love, and beg her to love him back.
'Idiot! She's not interested in you that way anymore. You've blown every chance for something more with her. You're finally back to "normal," you can't risk ruining it.' They had danced around the issue of deepening their relationship for years, each one ready when the other was not, each one holding back when the other wanted to move forward.
"Normal" was a loose definition of their current situation, at best, Harm admitted to himself. But it was better than the constant tension, the guarded encounters, the 'all business' attitude that they had taken with each other over recent months. He had missed their comfortable friendship, their evenings together with pizza and a movie, their lighthearted teasing.
About a month ago, he had broken down and uncharacteristically put his thoughts into words, asking in a roundabout way if they could try to regain their previous relationship. Watching a myriad of emotions play over her face as she processed his request - fear, relief, pain (PAIN?) - he wondered if it was possible, if they could go back to just being best friends. When she finally spoke, he let out a breath that he didn't realize he had been holding. With that gorgeous, drop-dead smile he adored, she said, "I'd like that very much", and all was right in Harm's world. At least for the moment.
After a quick cold shower, Harm hurriedly dressed and hopped into his Lexus. As usual, he was running a bit behind schedule and decided to forgo stopping for coffee, although it meant he would have to drink hers...maybe he would just go without.
When he arrived at Mac's apartment, he paused a moment before heading up. "We're friends, just friends" he chanted to himself, as if hearing it out loud would make a difference. He switched tactics and prayed for the strength not to crumble when he saw her. When she opened the door at his soft knock, he knew his efforts were wasted.
Suppressing a groan, his eyes slowly swept her from head to foot. She was dressed in shorts and a t-shirt, with no make up and her hair pulled back, but still his blood boiled just looking at her. How could the woman be so unbelievably beautiful with no effort at all? How could he ever have thought Renee with her 2-hour morning routine and bleached blond bimbo looks was attractive? How could...
"Harm??" He realized Mac had spoken while he was staring, but had no idea when she had said. 'Careful "flyboy"' he reminded himself. With a mental shake, he brought his gaze to meet hers. "Sorry?"
She was watching him through slightly hooded eyes. As she turned away, he didn't see the corner of her mouth quirk. "I said come in. Do you want some coffee?" She placed her hands against the wall and stretched languorously, then bent down to adjust her shoelace, giving Harm full view of her perfect six. "Uh, no thanks," he barely managed to choke out, and quickly turned away to hide the bulge that was threatening to rip through the front of his running shorts. How in the hell was he going to get through this morning?
Mac detected the strained pitch to Harm's voice, and quickly hid another smile. So she DID have the ability to make him uncomfortable. Good. Ever since they had reached their tentative agreement to regain their old relationship, she doubted that he would ever see her as more than a best friend. She didn't read anything more into his reaction other than that it was strictly a knee-jerk response to the fact she was, indeed, female. Usually she couldn't even raise an acknowledgement from him that she was anything other than a work partner, a Marine.
Even when his body did respond to her on a basic, instinctual level, he would never act on his impulses or desires. He couldn't "let go," as he had told her all those years ago in Sydney. She knew there was no chance for them, and most of the time she could accept it. But sometimes it made her so angry that her feelings were one-sided, that she loved him but he didn't love her, that she enjoyed trying to torture him, appealing to the strictly masculine element of his nature.
Mac was pissed off this morning because she hadn't slept well the night before. She often had vivid dreams involving sex with Harm, and awoke restless and unsatisfied. His flyboy grin, perfect body and deep blue gaze made her pulse race even when she was just dreaming about him, when he wasn't even there! Most of the time, she was able to shrug off the constant, nagging need for him, but today she was too exhausted. She could suppress the desire to break down and cry, to plead with him to give them a chance, but she couldn't resist the opportunity to make him suffer just a little bit. If that was the only weapon she had right now, she was going to use it, damn it!
Slowly, she straightened and deliberately brushed against him as she passed into the kitchen. She felt him flinch away from her as if she burned him. Her heart sank. Although she knew it was most likely his effort at self-control, having him reject her still hurt! Blinking back sudden sting of tears, she poured a cup of coffee for herself and turned away from Harm, looking out the window. Then she sighed softly. 'What did you expect? A half-assed attempt at seducing Harm was bound to fail. He doesn't REALLY want YOU! Suck it up Marine, turn around and smile, pretend everything is just fine before he clues in and starts asking questions.'
Harm was still tingling from the brief contact with her body moments before. He had to will himself to move. Good God, just having her touch him this morning was enough to set him off - wait, something was wrong. He could see the tension in her back as she stood gazing out the kitchen window. Slowly he moved behind her then reached out tentatively and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Mac?"
Lost in thought she hadn't realized he was moving until she felt his warmth behind her and his breath near her ear. Startled, she almost dropped the coffee mug. She set it down and whirled to face him.
"Wha.?" Her words died on her lips as she realized their bodies were barely an inch apart. She could literally feel the heat emanating off him, and felt her body respond instantly, nipples tightening into hard buds. Unconsciously, she bit her bottom lip in an effort not to moan out loud. Her dark eyes bored into his, questioning.
Oh, man. That luscious mouth was right there, if he moved his head forward ever so slightly, he could taste it. An overwhelming need rushed through him, and something snapped. He just couldn't take it anymore.
The look on his face frightened her a bit, and she started to pull away. Without another thought, Harm snaked his arms around her waist and yanked her flush against him. Mac's lips parted slightly as Harm's hot, lustful gaze met hers. As their bodies pressed tightly together leaving no doubt as to each other's state of arousal, they emitted simultaneous gasps of realization.
Closing the final inch that separated their mouths they gently brushed lips and paused, the silence broken only by slightly ragged breathing. And then...
TBC??