Toe Curling
Leaning back in the lounge chair, Chakotay casually watched Kathryn holding the sleeping baby while also keeping an eye of the group of children playing on the lawn. Further out Tom and Harry were coaxing some of the former crew into playing volleyball. To his left Seven was in a deep conversation with the doctor and Reg Barclay.
Finally he leaned back and closed his eyes. Kathryn stood up with the baby and left briefly. When she returned, she was alone. She leaned back in the other lounge chair and closed her eyes.
"Seems hard to believe that we have been home for five years already. In a way it seems like only yesterday," he spoke softly.
"I know what you mean. Things happened so fast. I was just grateful that Starfleet let all the Maquis and Equinox crewmembers go. I was so afraid that they would imprison some of you."
"I never had a fear about that. If they tried, I can imagine the wrath that would rain down upon them in the form of one Kathryn Janeway!"
"You better believe I would have! I loved all of you too much to let those idiots do anything to a single one of you!"
"Any regrets since we got home, Kathryn?"
"No. We all seem to have gotten along well with our lives. On a personal level, I am married to a nice man and have two great children! Can't beat that!"
"No, guess not! I guess my only regret is that Seven can't have children. Other than that I am content."
"You can always adopt, you know."
"Seven won't do that. She would be uncomfortable with it. Besides with our lifestyle we are much too busy. However, I have two wonderful godchildren, thanks to you!"
"And, you can baby sit anytime you want!"
"You know, there was a time when I was desperately in love with you."
"Yes, I know. I realized it on New Earth. But, after we were back on board Voyager awhile it became apparent that you had moved on."
"Not really, it was years before I moved on; I just hid it well." He turned to her and smiled that deep dimpled smile she loved so well.
"Now that you made a confession, I will as well. I was very much in love with you for years aboard Voyager. I just felt that it would be wrong to get involved. I use to have very erotic dreams of you. We would be having wild, toe curling sex all over the ship."
"Toe curling? I don't believe I've ever heard that expression!"
"One of my mom's many expressions. She always said, 'Kathryn, find a man that you love dearly, one that will give you toe curling sex! You will be very lucky to find someone like that!' I use to laugh at that expression."
"Did you? Find someone who gave you toe curling sex, that is."
"No, funny thing is that I never did. All the men that I have ever been with have been good in bed but never toe curling! I often wondered if she just made it up!" They both laughed at that idea since they both knew Gretchen Janeway well.
Chakotay thought back over the many women in his life. Amazingly there were mainly blonds, and he decided that none had curled his toes either especially Seven. Looking at the woman next to him, he knew there was a time when she would have. What might have been!
They continued talking for a few minutes until a little three year old version of Kathryn ran up onto the porch steps calling to her. "Mommy, Daddy needs you. Now!" Cina Janeway began tugging at her mother's arm.
"Okay, okay, Cina. I'm coming. Talk later, Chakotay." Kathryn was laughing as she let her daughter pull her away.
Chakotay sat back and closed his eyes. His thoughts were on a beautiful woman but not Seven. This woman in his thoughts had auburn hair and a wonderful smile that lit up her face unlike Seven who seldom smiled. It was just one of the many differences between Kathryn and Seven.
He wondered what Kathryn had meant when she said that she was married to a 'nice' man.; not wonderful, exciting, fantastic or any of the other adjectives that he could imagine her using. Ben was just 'nice'. Did Kathryn have hidden regrets?
He drifted off to sleep dreaming of having toe curling sex, and it wasn't with Seven! Several people walking by him noticed a smile on his face as he slept. Several wondered what that smile was all about.
The following year:
Several of the crew members were setting up tables while the women were making preparations in the house. The day was beautiful. Kathryn was thankful for that; so far in the six years since they had been back, the weather had held. She was excited as Tuvok and T'Pel would be coming; they hadn't made the last two reunions. She had missed them more than she had realized.
Ben was not home. He had gone off world for a couple of weeks to drum up business for his company. He had been spending a lot of time away from home in the last year even more than in the previous five years. Kathryn knew she should be concerned but she wasn't. Things between them were changing. She knew something would come to a head soon, he had begun ignoring the children the brief times he was home.
Since her talk with Chakotay at last year's reunion, she had begun to feel differently as well. She often wondered what she was missing. She had begun to see Ben in a different light. She was positive that he was cheating on her and had been for years. The strange thing was that she didn't really care about that. His many absences over the years had been more of a blessing than a burden.
Hearing Cina squealing with delight, she looked up to see Chakotay, who was holding Cina by the legs up side down and twirling her around. Seven stood nearby with a disapproving look on her face. Briefly Kathryn wondered if Seven ever smiled in bed. Perhaps that was why Chakotay had never married her. Shaking her head she wondered where that thought had come from. She walked out into the yard to greet them. Seven barely spoke.
After eating some of the women began carrying food back into the kitchen.
"Wonder why Seven has such a bug up her rear? She is just as unfriendly as ever." Celes declared.
B'Elanna shook her head, "Who knows? Chakotay doesn't seem to notice it. I don't understand why he stays with her."
"Well, I can understand why she stays with him. I swear he gets more handsome as the years pass. What do you think, Kathryn?"
"Uh…oh…I don't know, Sam. I guess so. I'll have to think about it."
"Kathryn, are you alright?" B'Elanna looked at her with a puzzled look on her face.
"I just hadn't realized it, but you're right he is getting more handsome!"
"You should have stuck your claws in him aboard Voyager before she did. The two of you are more suited for each other than him and Seven or you and Ben. Oops ! Sorry, my mouth gets carried away, but you know its true." an embarrassed Celes looked at her.
"I couldn't do anything on board the ship. I was afraid that if I did, Fleet would throw the book at both of us when we returned. I was afraid that they would mainly take it out on him."
"I'd be willing to bet that by the next reunion they won't be together!"
About that time Harry walked into the kitchen and the subject turned to other things. But, Kathryn kept hearing B'Elanna's words over and over again long after everyone had left and she had settled in bed alone for the night.
Ben returned home a couple of nights later. He was so drunk he could hardly stand. Kathryn managed to get him undressed and into bed. She was angry that he would come home that way. Thankfully the children were sleeping and didn't wake.
The next morning, her sister picked the girls up to take them to the circus with her children. They would also spend the night at Phoebe's home. Both girls were so excited. As soon as they left, Kathryn went to the study where she sat down to do some work. She did most of her work from home theses days and enjoyed it more that way.
About two hours later, Ben walked into the study. Sitting on the other side of the desk from her, he told her that he wanted a divorce. He had met someone else. In fact, that someone was carrying his baby - a boy. Kathryn was in a daze but readily agreed to the divorce. There marriage had been a sham for some time. It would be a relief to get it over with and move on with her life.
About six months after the divorce Kathryn was amazed that the children didn't miss their father. He had never been an important part of their lives having missed most of the important events. He and his new wife had moved to Mars where his wife had an important job.
One day as Kathryn walked into the den, she noticed she had an incoming message. It was Owen Paris. He had some bad news. There had been an accident in the lab where Seven and Reg Barclay were working. Reg was badly injured and Seven was dead. Kathryn was stunned. Right away she wondered how Chakotay was taking it. When she asked if he had been notified, Owen told her that Chakotay and Seven were no longer together. Apparently they had parted company just a few days after the last reunion. Chakotay had then left for Dorvan, and Seven went to live with her Grandmother who had been notified. In some ways Kathryn was surprised and in other ways she wasn't.
She contacted B'Elanna as soon as she could. She knew B'Elanna had already heard the news and would be contacting as many of the old crew as possible. There would more than likely be a memorial service which many would attend.
A few days later after the memorial, Kathryn sat in the Night Owl having lunch with B'Elanna, Celes, and Sam. They soon got around to discussing Chakotay.
"If you ask me, I think you should go to Dorvan after him."
"Oh, Celes, he doesn't want me around. I'm sure."
Sam couldn't help but add her two cents, "We have all seen how he looks at you when he thinks no one is looking. If it hadn't been for Ben, you two would have been together a long time ago. And, remember, when he and Seven broke up, you were still married. Now you're free! The girls adore him! Don't waste any more time! Take the girls and head for Dorvan."
"I just don't know. What if we got there and he really didn't want me?"
B'Elanna put her hands on her hips, "Then give him that death glare of yours, tell him he is missing out on the best things in his life and head back home!"
"Sure. You can do that. After all, if he asks you to stay, it will be worth it! Hey, Sam's right! You should have been together a long time ago! What do you say, Kathryn? Going to be lonely the rest of your life?" Celes tried her version of the death glare out on Kathryn.
"I have the kids…"
"Don't give us that! He adores your kids! A man, especially one who looks like Chakotay, is necessary sometimes! "Giggled Celes, who was now married to Harry Kim and carrying his child.
Kathryn thought for a minute or two. "Okay, I'll do it! But, I have to do it right away before I chicken out!"
"You know if you chicken out, Tom will never let you live it down, and I have to live with Tom!"
They all laughed imagining what Tom would do!
Two weeks later:
"Mommy, when are we going to get there? Is Uncle Chakotay going to meet us? I want to make him a picture of us. Can I, mommy? Can I?" Cina had been antsy all day and was getting more so as they neared the planet.
Kathryn knew that the trip had been hard on both the girls. Carrie was more excited about being able to go to the holodeck everyday. She had a crush on Flotter and had even tried to bring him to their quarters. Kathryn wondered how Captain Picard would feel about that.
When Kathryn announced to Owen Paris that she and the girls were going to Dorvan to see Chakotay, he immediately informed her that the Enterprise was going that way as well and would take them. He had hoped that during the trip, Jean-Luc would talk Kathryn into staying in Starfleet. Quite the contrary, Jean-Luc encouraged her to follow here heart. He was a wonderful person to talk with, and she wished that she had talked with him sooner.
Before they left Earth she had sent Chakotay a subspace message asking if they could visit him and giving him the dates. He had answered that he would be meeting them at the transport station. He gave no other information. She hoped that he would be glad to see them. The Enterprise would be in that area of space for several weeks and would pick her and the girls up if Kathryn felt the need. She hoped desperately that Chakotay wanted them. The more she thought about him, the more she knew she still loved him. She had never stopped. When he had taken up with Seven, she had been devastated and jumped at the chance of a life with Ben. She never regretted Ben, how could she? He had given her two precious daughters that she loved dearly.
As they neared Dorvan, Jean-Luc was there beside her as he knew she was having second thoughts. He told her about his relationships and how important they were to him. He made her laugh at many of the foolish things he had done because of those relationships.
Once the Enterprise was in orbit around Dorvan, Jean-Luc walked with Kathryn and the girls to the transporter room. Kissing them all goodbye, he gave Kathryn the thumbs up. She smiled as they began to dematerialize.
They had barely stepped off the transporter pad on the planet when the girls eyed Chakotay. Putting down their bags, they ran into his waiting arms. After many kisses and hugs, he stood and took Kathryn into his arms. He kissed her very gently. At that moment she wanted him to kiss her forever. Looking into his eyes, she saw love.
The house he took them to was not large. It was very rustic and beautifully decorated. A lot of thought and work had gone into it. There were three small bedrooms. Their luggage was settled into two of the rooms.
Both Kathryn and Chakotay knew they had a lot to talk about, but by silent agreement waited until the girls were safely tucked into bed and sleeping.
"Dinner was wonderful. Good to see you haven't lost your touch."
"Thank you! The girls seemed to like it as well." He was silent for a moment before continuing, "They're growing so fast Kathryn. They're both as beautiful as their mother."
"You always know what to say, Chakotay."
Taking his glass of wine, he walked over to the couch where she was sitting comfortably with her bare feet tucked under her. Sitting down next to her, he took a drink from the glass and then sat it on the coffee table.
"No, I don't always know what to say." He looked into her eyes. "But, I do know what I feel. I'm in love with you. I have been since we first met. A couple of reunions ago, I was shocked to find that I still had those feelings and that you did as well. But, there was Seven and Ben between us. After Seven and I broke up, I came here. I was afraid I wouldn't be strong enough, and I would go to you." He noticed the puzzled look on her face. "You were with Ben. I couldn't destroy your marriage just because I needed you so."
"Do you still need me?"
"Yes, I do…more than anything."
"With me you get a package deal."
He nodded his head in understanding. "I couldn't ask for more. I would be honored."
He reached over and pulled her into his lap.
"I love you, Kathryn Janeway, and I love your kids."
"We love you too!" She smiled just as their lips touched for a passionate kiss. It was a wonderful kiss full of not only passion but promise. Her whole being buzzed with delight.
Soon he picked her up and carried her into his bedroom. Standing her beside the bed, he began slowly undressing her as he continued with the kisses. He was kissing her on the lips then by her ears, down her neck, each time making her breathe heavier. Soon she was completely nude. Standing back he looked at her in the moonlight that shown in the room. She was beautiful. Her body was perfectly formed. No one would have guessed that her body had borne two children, her stomach stretched to the limit with each.
He gently picked her up and laid her in the middle of the bed. She rose up slightly as she watched him undress slowly. She felt that everything was moving in slow motion and she never wanted it to end. Her eyes widened as he exposed his hard, muscular body to her. The manual labor here on Dorvan had toned his muscles and tightened his abdomen. Muscles rippled down his arms. He looked like some Greek god whose pictures she had once seen in books.
He joined her on the bed and took her into his powerful arms. Soon his lips were again working their magic on her body. Loving every moment of it, she felt her body respond to his very touch.
Soon they were joined in perfect harmony as they reached a frenzied explosion of exquisite sensation and crested over pulsating waves of pleasure. It was minutes before the two of them could resume normal breathing and lay contented in each others arms.
For the first time in her life, Kathryn knew what her mother had meant by toe curling sex. Chakotay was wonderful in bed fulfilling her every need. This was the man she had waited her entire life for. He was the other half of her soul. Together they would spend the rest of their lives.