Brotherly Love to the Very End
Starring Shin and Shio Berkenstel
The rhythmic beeping from the cardiac machine, the slow breathing, the slow rising and falling of the young boy's chest; it was the only thing showing any sign of life in the young male. There were two people in the room; twins to be exact. Shin the older twin; and Shio, the younger and more fragile twin. Shin sat in a chair beside his brother as the boy struggled to stay alive. He had a fatal cardiac arrest after an asthma attack. Shin held the fragile hand and looked at his brother's face as he slept peacefully. 'I did this to you.' He thought, tearing up. 'You're going to die and it is my entire fault…'
Shin and Shio, two boys which always get along with each other and always loved each other. They grew up knowing the world in only a way twins could: Us and everyone else. They were always separated from other people and were never torn apart. One day, an argument broke out between the two boys. Being as close as they were, and never dealing with many conflicts with each other before; it seemed childish with their reactions; but at the same time, expected between the two. 'Fine! Then I am leaving! I hate you, Shin! I hate you!' Shio yelled as he stormed out of the house. Shin would never forget those words that keep echoing and repeating like a broken record player. Shio had run and kept running until he began gasping for air. His chest tightened to the point he couldn't even wrangle for his inhaler. At that point, it was hopeless because the young boy had fainted on the cold concrete of the sidewalk, gasping for air and clenching his chest as his eyes began to tear up and he cried. "Big brother, please help me…" it was all he could say before the world went black around him as his heart stopped. Shin wanted to hurt himself for what he had done to his brother. He should have never fought with him, and yet, he is the reason Shio is in the bed before him.
"Shio, please wake up… Please…" Shin begged, gently pressing the hand.
"Shin…" Shio whispered as he weakly opened his eyes. "It hurts, big brother… it hurts…" Shio cried as he felt like his body was under siege and he could not move or fight, only feel the intense pain.
"Shio, you just had surgery. Please don't move… I know it hurts. Big brother is going to do anything he can for you." Shin said, getting closer and kissing gently to Shio's forehead. Shio had battled illness and had many surgeries since he was born. When he was about five, everyone believed he would die soon, because he had so many needles in him and his frail body had to keep enduring surgeries.
"I am sorry, big brother. I didn't mean to…" Shio whimpered. The monitor showed his heart rate increasing as his breathing grew labored and he clenched his chest.
"Shio, please calm down. Everything is going to be ok." Shin said, not able to hide the worry in his voice as he stroked Shio's cheek and kissed him.
"Big brother, if I die, will you be happy?" Shio said, after calming down and getting his heart under control.
"What?" Shin looked at his younger brother, taking his hand and looking deeply into his cerulean blue eyes. He couldn't stand the thought of losing his twin brother, his best friend for his whole life. "No. I wouldn't be happy. I love you, Shio. I don't want to lose you…" Shin said, tearing up.
"Please don't cry, big brother…" Shio smiled gently. "Everything gets better. After sadness, there is always happiness. There is never peace without a war." Shio said, leaning against his bed. "But I want my big brother to be happy… no matter what, I want big brother Shin to smile and live happily. Here, you can keep this; big brother… it was my favorite. But I won't need it where I'm going." He smiled, putting a flowery hair pin into Shin's hand. "It was from Mama; before she died… she gave it to me. She said when I pin my hair back, it makes me pretty… since we have the same face, and you'll be pretty too."
Shin took the pin and looked at his brother's smiling face. "I can't go on living. Not without you." Shin cried as he held the back of Shio's hand to his cheek and let his tears run down his younger brother's hand and down his fingers, dripping onto the bed. "Don't leave me here alone, Shio. Please…"
"I'm sleepy, big brother… If I do die, you have to promise me you'll be happy… please…? Then I can sleep happily… and when you come when it's your time, we can be together." Shio chuckled, not able to hide the loud beep from the monitor, signaling a problem in his heart. "I'm getting sleepy… Wont you be happy, big brother?"
"No… it hurts… it hurts, Shio…!" Shin cried as he reached for the emergency button; but his hand was grabbed by Shio, stopping it from alerting the nurses.
"Promise me you'll be happy." Shio said, looking directly into Shin's eyes. "Pinky promise me…"
"I promise…" Shin cried as he put his finger to Shio's and pressed the button. "Please… just don't leave me…"
"Goodbye, big brother…"
Shio smiled as he closed his eyes and laid back against the pillow, letting out a sigh. Doctors ran in and desperately tried to wake him up. Shin held his brother's hand to his cheek as he cried and repeated over and over: "Shio, please stay with me… please…" Everyone's voice became muffed as the doctor shouted "Clear," and shocked Shio's chest. He attempted many times but the young man's heart would not start again. He kissed his brother one last time, whispering "Goodbye, Shio…", as Shio's hand slipped out of Shin's and fell limply beside the bed.
He felt as if the world turned black as the blanket was pulled over Shio's beautiful sleeping face and his twin brother was announced deceased. He was alone. His best friend, the one who had always been with him no matter what, was gone. He fell to the ground on his knees, beside his bed. He cried and gripped the blanket that had grown cold without someone's body heat. He was oblivious to the doctors and nurses that tried to consul him and only stared at the flower hair pin that was his only connection to his brother. He gripped it tightly, holding it to his nose, praying. "I will be happy, and live on for you, Shio. Please wait for me…"
That was twelve years ago. Shin was now twenty-six, and everyone forgot about Shio at this point. Shin, even though he was a very well business man, wore the flowery hair pin everywhere he went. He would panic if the pin was not in his chocolate brown hair, and become paranoid when he took it off. It seemed like the only time Shin ever took off the hair clip was to go to sleep or to shower. He would rudely slap anyone who would be as insensitive enough to try to touch the hair clip. He was mocked for wearing a girlish accessory, but didn't care. It was his only connection to his brother that everyone seemed to have forgotten.
Shin was spending time with his friends at his favorite restaurant for dinner. He stared blankly at the food that he once loved, but was now tasteless. He remembered when he first tried this dish with his brother, and they were both skeptical but after trying it, they both enjoyed the flavor. But now, the food tasted like cardboard and sandpaper on his palate.
"Shio wouldn't like you sulking over his death after twelve whole years." His friend, nicknamed Angel, said.
"Today is the anniversary. Shio died today." Shin said, not picking his head up.
"Maybe you need a drink? You need something to cheer you up."
"I think I'm going to watch the sunset… Shio used to ask me to watch the sunset with him all the time… they're beautiful, but I was always too blind to see it… and now when I watch them, he is gone…" Shin said tearing up a bit, getting up.
"We can watch it with you." His friend nicknamed Italy, because of where he came from, said as he grabbed Shin's sleeve.
"I would rather watch with Shio." Shin said, shaking his hand free and walking away.
"Do you need me to drive you home?" Gakupo asked, following Shin out.
"No." Shin replied, not turning around and continuing walking forward.
Shin sat on the rooftop of his building. He lived on the top floor of a condominium and he stared at the sunset. 'Can you see sunsets from where you are, Shio? Your somewhere past these never-ending blue skies…' he thought, looking at a photo of his brother, smiling happily. In the photo, no one could have guessed which boy was Shin and which boy was Shio. But Shin could easily see. Shio not only had the clip, but his smile said it all. His smile was warm and genuine. It was a smile that would brighten even the darkest of days and would make rain clouds run to their beds from the intense love and passion you could sense from this young man. 'You were happy in this photo. It's like you're feeling of happiness was forever trapped in this… thing. Shio, I can't take it anymore. Twelve years is long enough, isn't it? Can I please join you now…' he cried into his hands and stayed as the sun set and the moon came in. The city was illuminated with light from lampposts, cars, buildings... 'Shio, you enjoyed this view as well… didn't you…' Shin walked over to the wall and took a deep breath. 'You always said this world was beautiful. That beauty is always fleeting. I believed you. But I see now… it wasn't those words you said that were beautiful; it was my beautiful little brother, Shio… I'm ready to join you. I have been for twelve years…' Shin gripped onto the rail as he climbed onto the wall. He was up twenty-seven floors, looking down at the parking lot with many streetlamps illuminating it. 'This world you said was beautiful… what's so great about it if I have no one to share it with… I want to be with you. Together, with my little brother…' he let a few tears fall as he looked at the city one last time.
"I will soon be with you, little brother… Shio… Your big brother is coming." Shin said as he jumped off the roof and gazed up at the full moon, smiling at the illusion of Shio's face reflected on the surface of the moon. "Soon we will be together, Shio... It'll be me and you again… soon…" he said as his hand traced the outline of Shio's face before he landed head-first into the pavement, shattering his skull and breaking his spine and a few ribs. Bone fragments damaged vital internal organs and it wasn't long before the man lost too much blood and died in a pool of his own blood in the parking lot in front of the condominium.
"Where am I?" Shin looked around. Everything was white and he felt weightless. Soon the white turned into a very familiar, yet strange place.
"Big brother, I waited for you…" Shio stood behind him, smiling.
"Shio…!" Shin ran up and hugged his younger brother.
"Do you know where we are? We are where we left off. Before everything went bad." Shio giggled. "I missed you, big brother… You haven't changed a bit."
It was true. Shin looked at himself. He and Shio were both fourteen again, the age when Shio left this world.
"Big brother lets never fight. Let's be twins again in the next world." Shio smiled.
"Yes Shio; anything for you, little brother." Shin smiled, holding his hand.
"Are you ready to go to the next world, together?"
"Not yet. I first… want to say, I am sorry. I'm sorry and I kept your clip…" Shin brushed a hand over his hair.
"This?" Shio held up the flowery hair pin that had red spots all over. "It's dirty… but it's ok. Because I know it made you happy." Shio smiled, putting the flower clip into his chocolate brown hair, show casing his cerulean blue eyes. "Come on, big brother. The next world needs a set of twins like us." Shio smiled, gripping Shin's hand.
"Yes. Let's be together forever. Let's go, Shio." Shin smiled as they stepped through the door, into the next world.
This story was submitted to Northern Light, a magazine at my school, and it was denyed for so many reasons! So tell me what you think. A lot of things were revised while I typed this. For instance, Shio's original mewl was taken out and so was "Nii-Nii" so he said "big brother" through out the story. Shin originally said "Otouto" but it was changed to "little brother" or just "Shio". I think taking those elements out killed my story because it weakened the brotherly aspect to the story!