The usual - I don't own Mulder, Scully, or Daniel - don't send me money for the story, but money for nothing is always welcome.
So, what if there were a way to tell who your 'soul mate' was - and you didn't really care, because you were already in love with someone else?
Hope you enjoy, and please review!
Soul Mark: a pattern or symbol designating the existence of one's soul-mate; an identifying mark of attachment to another person
Scully burrowed deeper into Mulder's neck, her fingers weaving soft circles through his hair. She cringed at the coming dawn and wished for anything but another day of pretending. Another day of walking with her hand in her pocket, hiding the tell-tale mark of another man to whom she was expected to have given her heart - her soul.
Secretly, in the places of her heart she didn't even discuss with her priest, a deep fear kept constant vigil over the moments of happiness in his arms. Soul Marks were specific, each with distinct significance only to the bearer. That's how it worked, thank God. If Mulder knew what the symbol stood for - who the small circle with the Rod of Asclepius represented. It was a fear she fought desperately in the waining hours of the night. Even now, tangled between his naked body and the soft cotton sheets, the heady musk of after-sex hanging in the air, she felt the gnawing in the pit of her stomach and the deep ache in her chest. What would happen to them if he knew who she was truly destined for?
But how could he know? There were only a handful of people that would recognize the symbol at all. The rod was carried by the Greek god, Asclepius - a god of medicine and healing. Most people thought of the caduceus as the symbol for medicine but they were wrong. Mulder was smart though. She prayed his fountain of useless sports trivia and obscure paranormal facts brought him nowhere near Asclepius. The moment her mark appeared she knew exactly who she'd been given as her soul mate. And it wasn't Mulder.
It was Daniel. Of all the people in the world, it was Daniel. The man for whom she'd almost given up everything. The man who's life she'd inadvertently ruined by her leaving. The one man that still held a piece of her heart, because you never really got it back whole the first time you fell in real love. Of course it was Daniel. The mark appeared only hours after she'd sat beside his hospital bed, his heart sick and dying. She'd looked at his face and forgotten memories came flooding back - and she realized she still loved him. As much as she wanted to deny it, as hard as she fought against the certainty of it, she still loved him. For brief but powerful moments, in the secrecy of that small hospital room, she had allowed herself to mourn what might have been. Thoughts of the life she might have shared with him, of a home and children and a safety she hadn't known since joining the Bureau and she'd cried for what might have been.
That night, the mark appeared while she showered. Grief and fear and confusion fell like the spray from the faucet and she'd fallen to her knees, her tears mingling with the scalding water. She didn't know how she would tell Mulder. Neither had their mark when their love affair began. The probability that they were each other's soul-mate, at least in the corporate sense of the term, was extremely low - if they were destined for each other, surely their marks would have appeared already. But they agreed they didn't care. She loved him in a way she had never loved anyone, not even Daniel. Mulder was her protector. Her closest friend. Her perfect other. Half of her very self that made her whole. She couldn't imagine her life without him, couldn't imagine not feeling the beat of his heart against her skin, the warmth of his strong and capable arms surrounding her in the night. She didn't need a mark on her body to tell her she was absolutely and irrevocably in love with Mulder.
Feeling her breath quicken and the tears pool under her closed lids, she tightened her hold on him and tried will away the fear. He'd seen the mark days ago but he hadn't asked any questions and his silence only caused her more worry. She warred within. Did he in-fact know what the rod implied - whom it likely represented - and not care? She wanted to believe that he knew her truth - that no matter what mark she bore, her heart was only for him. But like a festering wound, the nagging pain of doubt grew until she couldn't stand the silence of her non-disclosure. She felt dirty, like she was lying to him by keeping the mark's significance a secret. It was starting to color everything about her. Every word out of her mouth felt like a subversion, a skirting around the truth.
She trembled under the weight of truth and the weight of Mulder's body draped over her. In the silence she heard him quietly shushing her in his sleep. He was doing what he had always done - protecting her. The realization that he did so without thought, completely unaware, turned her fear into resolve. If he was so attached, so much a part of her that he reached out even in unconsciousness to keep her from pain then she owed it to him to come clean. And she was betting on that attachment to be the thing that kept the truth of her mark from tearing them apart.
"Mulder...wake up."
He stirred, his arms pulling her closer in reflex. The feel of his lazy breath, hot against her forehead threatened to derail her mission - all she wanted was to bury herself inside him. She wanted the sounds of their love-making to drown the echo of her omission. He placed a gentle kiss against the tousled strands of her auburn hair and rolled to his back, his signature I'm-awake-but-I'm-not-getting-out-of-this-bed move. He was listening, even if he refused to open his eyes.
"I know who the mark is for."
Instantly, she wished she could suck the words back into her mouth. There was no turning back now and she was afraid. What if she lost him? What if he decided to believe as the rest of the world believed, that there was no other truth but The Mark? What if he left her? When Mulder didn't move, not even a flinch of his eyelids, the panic in her chest began to bubble and more words came spilling out.
"I'm sorry, Mulder. I should have told you but I was afraid and I didn't know what to do or what to think and I still don't but I knew I had to tell you and..."
Mulder's eyes opened wide and she found she couldn't look at him, afraid of what she would see. There were few things more painful in life than looking heartbreak in the face. If she was wrong, if their love wasn't strong enough to survive fate...
"Stop, Scully."
A ragged breath caught in her throat. That voice - it was the one he used when she was being irrational, when she was losing control. It was the voice he used to bring her back. Opening her eyes, she looked at his face and saw her salvation. He was smiling, that crooked little grin that he saved for the really tough moments because it never failed to remind her that the little things - like that smile - were all that really mattered in life.
"I'm so sor-"
"I said stop, you stubborn woman."
He held her face in his hands like he was holding a newborn baby - with gentle strength and reassuring tenderness.
"You didn't pick Daniel. You picked me. Your choice. Not their's. I don't care about the mark and I don't care who it stands for. I know you loved him - I'm ok with that. Scully, you've never done anything half-assed in your life - why would I want you to have given anything less than your whole self in love? I wouldn't. And I don't. And if you ever try to apologize for having that mark again I'll hold you down and tickle the shit out of you!"
Stunned, she blinked hard and found herself speechless, a feat only Mulder was capable of. How did he know the mark was meant for Daniel? How long had he known?
"Mulder, I don't understand. How did you know? When?"
Mulder chuckled and dropped his gaze to her hands. Slowly he traced his thumb around the think black circle and down the Rod, a small sigh escaping his pouty lips before he brought her hand to them and kissed it softly.
"As soon as I saw it, I knew who it represented. The Rod of Asclepius, the Greek god of healing. Who else could it have been but Daniel?"
"Mulder, I -"
"You really want to get tickle-tortured don't you, Scully?"
They stared at each other for long silent moments before either spoke. She opened her mouth to affirm her love, her devotion, but he cut her off again.
"We'll be out-casts, I know. But hey, is that really any different than the last seven years? I'll do everything I can to keep you from being hurt, Scully, and if that means at some point you want out, I'll understand. You are my whole life but I'll never do anything to cause you more pain. You've suffered enough because of me. That mark doesn't change anything about us unless that's what you want. I'm in - for the long haul."
"If you interrupt me again, Mulder, it's you that's in for some serious torture."
She smiled widely through the threat, her heart full. They would win. They would live and love on their own terms and to hell with the rest of them. And Daniel? She was certain he too would survive - without her.
"I was going to say, I love you. Now. Tomorrow. Forever."
The End