The Misadventures of Weiß Part 1:
Ran's Ice-Cream Eating Experience
This story is about Ran. Ran doesn't know how to eat ice cream. This is about Ran learning to eat ice cream. * * * One day, Ran got to thinking. "Gee. I've never eaten an ice cream cone." He went to Omi and asked him about it. Omi thought long and hard. "Hmm." he said. "Hmmm..." Ran stared at Omi intently. "What?" "I don't know how to explain it," he said thoughtfully. "Go ask Ken?" So Ran went to Ken. "Ken," Ran began, "how do you eat an ice cream cone?" Ken stared at Ran. Ran stared back. Ken stared back more. Ran stared back, a little annoyred. Ken stared back a little more and began to smile. "What?" Ran asked confused. "You.Can't eat an ice cream cone?!" Ken screamed. "So?" Ran asked, getting mad. "Heheh," Ken giggled a little and began to laugh uncontrollably. "Heheh." Ran began to laugh more. "HAHAHAHAHAH!-NO!" Ken stopped. Ran glared. Ken stared. Ran glared more. Ken stared a little more and snickered. He then began laughing more. Ran glared a little more, sighed, and then left. Ken screamed and yelled something about pissing his pants, but that's besides the point. This story is about Ran and his disability to eating ice cream. Not about Ken pissing his pants. That's another story. Which I have yet to write as of now. Now, which is 8:17 PM April 20, 2002 (AKA 4-20) but we won't talk about the significance of 4-20. Ran slowly went to find Yohji after the author got done with her rambling, only to find him in a bar. "Ran!" Yohji yelled, a little too loudly. "Yohji," Ran started. "Can I ask you something?" "Sure!" Yohji said, and asked for another drink. Ran could tell that he must have been drinking for a while, judging not only by the numerous amount of open bottles, but also by the large wet spot on his pants in his crotch. But Yohji pissing his pants has nothing to do with the story. Or the story about Ken Pissing his pants. Or any story for that matter. After the author once again got done with her rambling, Ran asked his question. "Yohji," he started. "How do you eat an ice cream cone?" "Oh sure," he said clumsily. "It's just like being with a girl." "Really?" Ran asked, a little skeptical. "Yea," Yohji continued. "You've gotta be gentle." "Uh-huh," Ran said, getting intimidated by Yohji's had being on his leg. "Yea," Yohji said, closing his eyes. "Just like being with a girl. You start at the top and slowly make your way down. Don't put too much in your mouth at once, and carefully lick the creamy.cool." Ran stared at Yohji, thinking it sounded more like being with a man. He looked down, feeling something else in between his legs other than his package and took Yohji's hand out of his pants and zipped up. "Th.Thank you Yohji," Ran said leaving. "Hey!" Yohji called after him. "Call me!" Ran hurried out of the door when Yohji winked at him. "Now what am I going to do?" he asked, more depressed than usual. "Do you want some cookies?" Farfello asked, walking by wearing his 'Kiss me I'm Irish' apron. "No." he said. "I need someone to teach me to eat an ice cream cone!" "Oh?" Farfie asked seriously. "Schuldig had that problem.Sad.Very sad." "Did he ever get over it?" Ran asked intently. "Yea," Farf said smiling, munching on a cookie. "HOW?!" You must tell me!" "Well," Farf began," I told him it's just like eating a Popsicle that's not hard." "Thank you!" Ran shouted and ran to a Dairy Queen. I'm still not sure if they have DQ's in Japan. They have McDonald's, but there's no point in getting ice cream in a place known for hamburgers. So, for the sake of good taste, he went to a Dairy Queen. As he entered, a rare smile appeared on Ran's face. As he walked to the cashier, he had a look of pride on his face. "What do you want?" the girl asked snottily. "I want." he began, "I want a vanilla ice cream cone!" "Go to the next clerk," she replied taking his money. As he waited for his prize, he got tears in his eyes. He was fulfilling his dream finally. He would eat an ice cream cone. As he received the cone, he grinned and walked outside. He was about to take a bite when he realized something: He didn't know how to eat a Popsicle.
This story is about Ran. Ran doesn't know how to eat ice cream. This is about Ran learning to eat ice cream. * * * One day, Ran got to thinking. "Gee. I've never eaten an ice cream cone." He went to Omi and asked him about it. Omi thought long and hard. "Hmm." he said. "Hmmm..." Ran stared at Omi intently. "What?" "I don't know how to explain it," he said thoughtfully. "Go ask Ken?" So Ran went to Ken. "Ken," Ran began, "how do you eat an ice cream cone?" Ken stared at Ran. Ran stared back. Ken stared back more. Ran stared back, a little annoyred. Ken stared back a little more and began to smile. "What?" Ran asked confused. "You.Can't eat an ice cream cone?!" Ken screamed. "So?" Ran asked, getting mad. "Heheh," Ken giggled a little and began to laugh uncontrollably. "Heheh." Ran began to laugh more. "HAHAHAHAHAH!-NO!" Ken stopped. Ran glared. Ken stared. Ran glared more. Ken stared a little more and snickered. He then began laughing more. Ran glared a little more, sighed, and then left. Ken screamed and yelled something about pissing his pants, but that's besides the point. This story is about Ran and his disability to eating ice cream. Not about Ken pissing his pants. That's another story. Which I have yet to write as of now. Now, which is 8:17 PM April 20, 2002 (AKA 4-20) but we won't talk about the significance of 4-20. Ran slowly went to find Yohji after the author got done with her rambling, only to find him in a bar. "Ran!" Yohji yelled, a little too loudly. "Yohji," Ran started. "Can I ask you something?" "Sure!" Yohji said, and asked for another drink. Ran could tell that he must have been drinking for a while, judging not only by the numerous amount of open bottles, but also by the large wet spot on his pants in his crotch. But Yohji pissing his pants has nothing to do with the story. Or the story about Ken Pissing his pants. Or any story for that matter. After the author once again got done with her rambling, Ran asked his question. "Yohji," he started. "How do you eat an ice cream cone?" "Oh sure," he said clumsily. "It's just like being with a girl." "Really?" Ran asked, a little skeptical. "Yea," Yohji continued. "You've gotta be gentle." "Uh-huh," Ran said, getting intimidated by Yohji's had being on his leg. "Yea," Yohji said, closing his eyes. "Just like being with a girl. You start at the top and slowly make your way down. Don't put too much in your mouth at once, and carefully lick the creamy.cool." Ran stared at Yohji, thinking it sounded more like being with a man. He looked down, feeling something else in between his legs other than his package and took Yohji's hand out of his pants and zipped up. "Th.Thank you Yohji," Ran said leaving. "Hey!" Yohji called after him. "Call me!" Ran hurried out of the door when Yohji winked at him. "Now what am I going to do?" he asked, more depressed than usual. "Do you want some cookies?" Farfello asked, walking by wearing his 'Kiss me I'm Irish' apron. "No." he said. "I need someone to teach me to eat an ice cream cone!" "Oh?" Farfie asked seriously. "Schuldig had that problem.Sad.Very sad." "Did he ever get over it?" Ran asked intently. "Yea," Farf said smiling, munching on a cookie. "HOW?!" You must tell me!" "Well," Farf began," I told him it's just like eating a Popsicle that's not hard." "Thank you!" Ran shouted and ran to a Dairy Queen. I'm still not sure if they have DQ's in Japan. They have McDonald's, but there's no point in getting ice cream in a place known for hamburgers. So, for the sake of good taste, he went to a Dairy Queen. As he entered, a rare smile appeared on Ran's face. As he walked to the cashier, he had a look of pride on his face. "What do you want?" the girl asked snottily. "I want." he began, "I want a vanilla ice cream cone!" "Go to the next clerk," she replied taking his money. As he waited for his prize, he got tears in his eyes. He was fulfilling his dream finally. He would eat an ice cream cone. As he received the cone, he grinned and walked outside. He was about to take a bite when he realized something: He didn't know how to eat a Popsicle.