To my followers on other stories – please accept my apologies for being on hiatus so long. I still have 2 jobs and they are wiping me out! I don't have time to dive back in to my big story just yet, but after the divorce paper incident and Provenza's comment (squeeeee!), I couldn't resist this little one-shot. In doing so, I reminded myself how much I miss writing. Will try to get back to my other works at least a little at a time...
Please R&R - I love to hear what you think & sometimes it influences new stories! Enjoy and Thanks a million! :-)
July 14, 2014
Louie Provenza's mood was turning more foul by the moment and even he didn't know why.
"Jesus, Louie, what the hell is your problem tonight?" Andy Flynn had been used to his partner's acidic rantings and sharp tongue for many years now. In fact, many days it felt like too many years, but he knew how to deal with him for the most part. Tonight, however, he just did not have the energy or the patience.
When Andy received no reply after his final barking query, he simply continued the drive to his partner's house in silence. Meanwhile the older gentleman sat stewing over his own thoughts while staring out of the passenger window, unaware of how clenched his jaw muscles and forearms had become. He was used to being grouchy, cynical, or in any number of cantankerous moods more often than not, but the more he thought about it, he couldn't wrap his head around this particular mood and it was really pissing him off. Honestly, he had no idea 'what the hell was the matter with him tonight'.
Hell, they were all in a pretty grim mood over this poor Jane Doe incident. He was accustomed to being depressed and angry over rough cases, but this was more somehow. More like a combination of four or five different emotional states and he didn't know if he wanted to scream and throw things, fire off a target round, cry, punch someone in the face… he slanted a glance at his partner and got a fleeting feeling he might feel better if he punched Flynn in the face. His eyes widened briefly in surprise before he returned his vision straight ahead and squinted through the windshield now. The turmoil was churning so much energy through his veins, he felt as though he could jump out of the car and run the rest of the way to his home but it wouldn't help.
Still staring straight ahead, he finally he spoke. "She's supposed to be off limits, Flynn." He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and his posture released some of the rigid tension it had been building all day.
"Oh Jeez, not this again," Andy grouched. "I told you we're"
"JUST FRIENDS. Right. I don't buy it."
"Look I don't give a crap what you buy, old man, but that's the truth." Andy cut in, increased volume reflecting the rising ire in his tone. His words became more separated as he continued. "And I don't want you to go around talking about things you don't understand, riling the team and upsetting Sharon!". "And not that it matters, but what do you mean 'off limits'? Gimme a break, will ya?"
Louis finally turned to face his friend, rolling his eyes briefly into his 'you've got to be kidding me' smirk. He watched Andy's knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel harder. Going on the offensive released some of the coiling energy from his gut and he was grateful for the minor distraction. "Oh. Don't you worry, I won't be upsetting the CAPTAIN anytime soon because I am a sane person who realizes that he actually works for the woman!" He emphasized her rank to remind his partner that he all too easily and too often forgets that protocol with her in recent months and people are starting to notice. "And how do you not get what I mean by 'off limits'? Really, Flynn, how many ways are there to say that?"
"Alright!" Andy rolled his eyes skyward.
"For pete's sake, you think I don't see what's right in front of my face? You think Tao doesn't notice?"
"Tao!?"
"Yes, Tao! You are working with one of the most observant men in the western hemisphere," he explained as if to a child. "Just because he's discreet doesn't mean he hasn't noticed they way you're always hovering over her with your lingering stares and subtle touches. And I guarantee you he's noticed how many days the two of you have brought leftovers to work from the same restaurant," he gruffed.
"I told you, we're just"
Provenza's eyes shut tight in search of patience, "if you tell me you two are just friends one. more. time.."
"Look, what'd'you want from me already?!"
"I want you to admit," he over-pronounced the word admit and paused for effect to emphasize his point that Andy was in denial, "that you have feelings for this woman and that you know she's off limits and you are going to knock it off right now before something happens that we'll all regret! Jesus, Flynn, have you lost your head? You're courting the wicked witch!"
"Hey, don't call her that!"
"You're the one who gave her that name! Or have you forgotten what she is capable of – do you remember the months of sensitivity classes, sexual harassment classes, and the like we've had to endure? Just because she uses her powers for good now instead of evil doesn't mean you should forget her true nature. I certainly haven't".
"It was a different time, ok? Let it go. And she wasn't ever evil, she was just committed to her principles, same as she is now. She's the same woman, Louie. Passionate, strong, and fiercely committed. We just had our arrogant heads too far up our own asses to see how remarkable she was... is."
"Oh good Lord," Louie groaned in his most gravelly, exasperated tone. "Let me tell you in Spanish so you can understand… NO."
"You're out of your mind."
"And just in case it still isn't clear, by 'off limits' I mean she is our boss. Even if, in some moment of temporary insanity, she acquiesces to your advances, there is no way that this ends well for the team! Do you really think your little conquest is worth one or both of you getting transferred or fired? Or worse - resurfacing the full force of Darth Raydor when you eventually blow it with her?" His stomach flipped with anxiety and dread and he wasn't sure all the reasons he was stating for his objections were the only ones that wanted to be voiced.
"She's not a conquest to be had by anybody." Andy's volume had decreased to a normal level, but the fierceness of his tone belied any indication that he might be calming down. "She's too classy for that and way too smart." He didn't know how to go on explaining to his friend. He wanted to tell him that a conquest was the farthest thing from his mind - that this magnificent creature had worked her way into his heart and he knew if he allowed himself to start loving her he would never be able to stop. Maybe it was already too late for that, but he wasn't ready to voice that thought in his own head yet. Only he couldn't say any of those things. Not if he was going to stick with this 'we're just friends' party line. So he just sat quietly and brooded until he pulled up to his friend's driveway and looked at him to leave the car. He didn't want to speak anymore for fear he would say too much.
Provenza opened the door and looked back to make one final stab at reasoning with his partner. "Think about it Flynn, and just try to remember there is more at stake here than just you and your ego."
Andy only turned his head front, grinding on the new toothpick in his mouth. "Goodnight Lou," he stated simply.
The older companion just nodded to himself sardonically and shut the car door. Oh yeah, those divorce papers have nooothing to do with Flynn.. 'Why would you even say that?!' Phuh. Just who the hell does he think he's fooling after all these years?
An image flashed behind his eyes, the one that haunted his vision this past month between sleep and awake. He doesn't know why it makes is lungs cave in search of air whenever it flashes in front of him. He refuses to dwell on the reaction, but punching Flynn in the face still seems like a valid method of improving his spirits.
5 weeks earlier
Louie Provenza had been desperately trying to steer Rusty anywhere and everywhere except in front of him and about to say what he thought the kid was going to say. Hm. Foolishness. The kid is what he is and there are worse things in life than a few awkward moments when someone trusts you. Turned out to be a moot point since that's not what that talk was fated for anyway.
He was just basking in his relief at being spared the uncomfortable conversation and about to head out for the evening when he remembered his Captain and the look of pure devastation and guilt on her face as she passed after delivering that horrible notification all by herself. A wave of compassion washed over him and deciding she shouldn't be alone, he about faced and followed the direction she took down the hall.
A hundred times since then had he wished he could take back that decision. He would have been so much happier being stuck in his usual self-absorbed little world had he gone out to the bar for a drink or four. Of course, judging from what he happened upon next, he probably would've been stuck at that bar w/o his usual ride home. 'Ewgh'. He shook his body attempting to convince himself the sensation in his gut was disgust and nothing more.
Striding purposefully down the hall towards the one conference room that opened up to the outside balcony, he figured that's where she had headed. Sure in his step, he lighted his footfall and slowed his pace only when the faint sound of a single sob caught his ears. His heart beat a little faster in his chest, unsure now if he should intrude on her solace. He stood pensive for a moment until the sound of a male voice jerked him from his reverie and he looked around wide eyed, heart flutter jumping higher up in his throat. Flynn. His brow furrowed and he pushed forward, slowly and quietly, just far enough to see into the dark conference room. He looked through it to the balcony which was also dark, all but the moonlight illuminating 2 figures standing in the shadows. Two figures who created one silhouette with moonlight all around them and none in between them. The sliding door hadn't been shut all the way by whichever of them had been second to step out.
The older man stilled and stared through the glass, unaware of the furrow creasing his brow. He could hear sounds and tenderly spoken words in low registers, but not enough to make out what either party was saying. It didn't really matter... the picture in front of him was crystal clear.
The captain was fully embedded in Lieutenant Flynn's arms with her nose buried in his shoulder and the back of her head tucked in the crook of his neck, a smudge of mascara marred one flushed pink cheek highlighted in the moonbeam. Her arms circled tightly around his middle, and her body pressed against his head to toe. It was clear there was a breeze outside, but the air around Provenza seemed too still to be real. Stifling, almost.
Andy was stroking her hair and her back. And not in a friendly "comforting a co-worker" sort of way either, but in long sensuous strokes, tender with loving circles and lingering caresses. He watched as Andy pulled the fingers of his right hand through her long, auburn locks from root to tip, separating the loose waves and placing them gingerly in the center of her back away from her shoulders while he continued to rub slow circular patterns over her middle and lower back. His lips were pressed to her hairline and his eyes were closed in troubled bliss. Provenza was sure he noticed him deeply inhaling the scent of her hair, facial muscles relaxing and contracting at every long turn of breath.
There was no kissing.. that he witnessed, he thought. But there may as well have been lovemaking. He didn't know how long he stood there watching them, letting the reality of what he was seeing un-cloud in his vision.
Then he saw it. Painted lips curved upwards in a small smile on the comfort of Andy's shoulder as she swiped at a single tear, just as quickly replacing her arm tightly around his middle. She lifted her face to his and glanced back and forth into his dark brown eyes, all of her graceful features now illuminated in the moonbeam. If there was ever a look that could be described as the exact opposite of the pure misery the older gentleman glimpsed from her in the hallway, this would be it. Andy cupped his hands loosely around her jawline by her hair, curling his fingers under her ears and lightly brushing her temples with his thumbs. Louie fell slightly forward catching his weight on the door frame with his arms… 'He made her smile. Tonight of all nights.'
His pulse slowed, his limbs slackened, and his eyes began to sting before he finally stepped out of the doorway and leaned his back to the wall out of sight. Breathing became shallow and he felt like he should do something but he knew not what. He pushed any traitorous thoughts that were trying to enter his head away with a shove and forced himself off the wall to make for the parking garage, wishing he had followed his instinct and done that an hour ago.
Present moment
Provenza turned the key in his lock and watched Andy drive off down the street. Resigned, he closed the door behind him and leaned back against it with his face in his hands. If he admitted the truth, Sharon Raydor was too smart, beautiful, and classy for either one of them. He scowled at himself for letting that thought slip into his conscious brain. Be that as it may, she clearly saw something in Flynn, inexplicable as it was and he supposed he might just have to get used to the inevitable. He still didn't like this unnamed tightness in his chest, but he supposed he'd have to get used to that too, and maybe... it would go away soon.
'Idiot' he barked about Flynn, shuffling off towards his favorite spot and picking up the remote. 'What an idiot,' he emphasized as he flicked on the TV and collapsed into the chair, mildly unsure now if he was referring to his partner or to himself.