I've never cared for the afterlife nor have I cared about my life in general. I was lazy yet smart, but I never felt the need to take my life. I was happy actually. Yes, it took me a few cuts and tears to get where I was, but it was a journey that I would never forget. It's blurry now after all the other memories and lives that linger in my mind. I wasn't a failure in my original life. However, I feel like an absolute failure at this reincarnation thing. Wouldn't you think you're a failure if you died four times and every time you died you would have to relive the same life over and over until you figured you got it right? I've lived five lives I guess you could say. I know for sure that in my first life I was electrocuted, my second life I died during the Fourth Shinobi War, my third life I tried to make changes, but I was killed by sound ninja after that asshole of an Uchiha left Konoha, and my fourth life I was killed by Tobi when I thought I had a good enough plan that involved the Akatsuki. It turns out my plan was shit and I was useless after interrogation. Great talking with you Tobi, you dicknugget.
I guess it's obvious that I know so much about everyone since I've lived through everything about five times. Believe me; I know everyone's favorite food to their darkest secrets. I can even imagine having a conversation with a person since I know what they would say next. It saves me a lot of annoying conversations that's for sure. Like now for example, I'm sitting in the Academy (again) learning the same things that I've learned four times in a row. I know what Iruka-sensei is going to say word for word and I know who is going to ask a question and what they are going to ask. Life gets boring after a while. I'm currently five years old and have recently moved to Konoha (for the fifth time). My life up to now was nothing special. It was the same thing over and over again except this time I refused to do anything but sit and stare. People say I'm as smart as a Nara and as lazy as Nara yet too sassy to be one. My mother would always laugh at the jokes and then shake her head as if she hasn't heard them before. She'd say she doesn't know where I get my personality from. Oh I do mother, I get it from living life five times and I'm sure one would have this attitude and sarcasm after reliving everything over and over. I can honestly say that I don't give a fuck anymore about shit that goes on around me. I guess this attitude of mine seems to scare kids away because I have yet to make a friend. Well, I guess you could say that Shikamaru Nara would be my friend, but it's more like a deal we have. He sleeps in class and I tell him what's happened and do our homework and he buys me food in return. I like this deal even though you could say I got the short end of the stick.
You see, my mom works at the Konoha orphanage so she's got a lot of mouths to feed. Yes, she may miss one and the one happens to be me, but I don't hold it against her. I think she's doing the right thing taking care of those kids. She deserves more than she gets since she treats the Kyuubi kid like her own child. I'll give her that. Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Naruto and he's even one of my friends I guess you could say, but you know she's an angel when she treats the kid the whole village hates as her own. I'll give her a pat on the back for that, but it really shouldn't be such a hard task to love the kid. I've seen him grow up four times and each time never ceases to amaze me.
"Shiokaze-san?"
Shit. I zoned out and I was apparently staring at Naruto when I zoned out. Everyone was looking at me and even Naruto was giving a questioning look. I rubbed the back of my neck and gave a nervous laugh.
"Hai, sensei?"
"Would you like to tell the class how chakra can be used? Given your situation…"
Given my situation my ass. He knows I'm super sensitive to chakra which makes me a sensor that could even be far more advanced that the second hokage. If only I wasn't lazy then maybe I would surpass the second hokage. I sighed and closed my eyes trying to envision the text book in my mind and began to read from my memory. Yeah, I've been through this four times, but this time I wanted to see if I could get through school without reading the textbooks or paying attention in class. So far so good.
"Chakra is essential to even the most basic technique; it is the molding of the physical energy present in every cell of the body and the spiritual energy gained from exercise and experience. Once molded, it can be channeled through the chakra circulatory system, which is to chakra as the regular circulatory system is to blood, to any of the 361 chakra points in the body. Through various methods, the most common of which is hand seals, the chakra can then be manipulated to create an effect that would not be possible otherwise, such as walking on water, exhaling fire or creating illusions," I explained. I made sure to go fast and act like it was common sense. I just wanted to show off and it seemed to be working since half the kids in the class were confused.
"Thank you, Shiokaze-san. Alright everyone that's it for today. Don't forget to do your homework and remember there's an exam in three weeks. No excuses!" Iruka-sensei called out as all the kids filed out of the classroom. I was left behind trying to wake Shikamaru up from his damn coma.
"Wake up, you owe me food," I shouted next to his ear. He cringed but took his time lifting his head off the desk. He groaned then stretched. He didn't get up though afterwards. I growled in annoyance before dragging him out of the Academy by his spiky hair. When we got outside we saw Naruto on the swing set as usual. I wanted to go over there and send him into shock with my love and kindness, but he had to go through this to become the person he's meant to be. I bit my lip and then dragged Shikamaru towards the Ichiraku ramen stand.
"Since you didn't bring me lunch today as yesterday's payment, you're buying me dinner," I said in a serious tone with my hands on my hips.
It must have been a weird scene. Two five year olds outside a ramen stand with the boy being dragged by the girl who seemed to be as red with anger as her hair. Of course, it's normal for me to be demanding dinner from someone. I do it to everyone to the point where it's a natural sight. However, this is Shikamaru's first time being dragged around Konoha by me. He usually gives me lunch, but today was different for some reason. I'll nag him about it later.
"My mom will kill me for being late for dinner and I really don't want her to think I have you as a girlfriend,"
I gave him a look of mock hurt before rolling my eyes and taking a seat while dragging Shikamaru with me.
"We're five. I highly doubt any of us will start dating soon. I mean, look at the Uchiha he has all the girls after him and yet he thinks they still have cooties,"
I began to slurp my noodles loudly on purpose since I really felt like annoying Shikamaru. He gave me a lazy glare before sighing and resting his head on the table. I snickered before nudging him with my foot since my hands were busy feeding me.
"Just leave the money and go. Tell your mom I say hi!"
I gave Shikamaru a pat on the back before he left. He gave me a lazy half salute before getting out of my sight. I order another miso ramen before I tried to sense my hyperactive friend who got me hooked on ramen. I sensed Iruka-sensei and Naruto making their way around the corner. Their emotions were relaxed and happy since their chakra had that smooth feel to it. That and I sensed Naruto fart so that might have been the relief I sensed. I rolled my eyes and started my second bowl of miso ramen as they grew closer.
"Akira-chan! Why are you here? Isn't your mom making something nice tonight?" Naruto shouted before grabbing the seat next to me. I wanted to reply to him but my mouth was full of ramen. I gave him a look that said it all for me.
"Oh! Yeah, your mom isn't an amazing cook," Naruto laughed sheepishly and rubbed the back of his neck.
"Yeah, it's Shika's treat. My mom is too busy taking care of the other kids to worry about me. She trusts me anyway," I said before slipping the money under the bowl. I hopped off the seat and gave them a lazy salute before leaving. I'm sure they wanted some weird guy time anyway. I don't give a fuck.
I blew my hair out of my face as I hopped my way around people in the large bustling crowds that always finds a way to piss me off. As I made my way through the crowd I saw a familiar black spiky mane that seemed too high up for the person on my mind.
"Sasuke!"
The person carrying Sasuke turned around the reveal their face. The two Uchiha brothers gave me a confused glance while Sasuke's held more of a slight annoyance. I waved as I ran towards them with a big cocky grin on my face.
"Uh, Akira-san?"
Sasuke's face was pure confusion right now and I had to stare and hold on to his innocent face for a few seconds. His downfall is only three years from now and I've began to take mental pictures of his happy face. I wasn't obsessed with him or anything. I feel bad for him and it's more like pity and longing to do something when I know I can't do a single thing. It's meant to happen.
"I was wondering if you'd like to make a bet on the upcoming exam, hm?"
Sasuke was taken aback with shock wavering in his chakra. Itachi's seemed more of amusement even though his eyes were void of any emotions. I knew he found me amusing after I sent Sasuke home with a nice braid that was tied in a knot at the end. I got bored and decided Sasuke's hair would be more fun to play with than Shikamaru's.
"Alright, what are we betting?"
Sasuke's face grew cocky with his little Uchiha smirk plastered on his face. I raised an eyebrow at his attitude, but brushed it off and gave him a bitchy smirk right back at him.
"If I get a higher score than you, you buy me food for a week. No matter what meal,"
"What do I get if I win?"
"Uh…what do you want?"
Sasuke looked up towards the sky in thought while Itachi looked up towards Sasuke with what I could only sense was curiosity.
"If I win," Sasuke's voice trailed off, "then you don't talk for a week!"
"Am I really that annoying?"
"Only when you're with the dobe. And you have a cursing problem. I wonder how long you can last without it," Sasuke said with a mischievous grin. Even when he's five he's a demented little prick!
I frowned and gave him a lazy glare before sighing and offering him my hand to make the deal. Sasuke looked at it like it carried some sort of disease. So I did what every girl would do. I spat on my hand and then shook Itachi's as a replacement for Sasuke's hand.
I turned before seeing Itachi's and Sasuke's reaction. I don't fucking give a fuck. Shit, I do have a problem. I'm gonna wipe the floor with your ass you girly looking Uchiha fuck!