This first chapter was initially a drabble based on a banner entry for a TwiFicPics Weekly Banner Challenge (the link to which can be found on my profile). When the banner won (because it was totally amazing), and I asked the artist, MidnightTrain, if I could adopt it for the story she agreed on one condition - I answer the looming question.
I'd like to thank my LOVELY betas for this chapter, Katmom and PerAmore91. You ladies are the best!
P.S. This is my very first WIP. I'm hoping to update regularly, barring any destructive events or severe writer's block. :)
It had been four days since they last spoke, but the wounds still felt fresh. The words stung as if they had just left his love's lips. Edward sat in a metal chair, its uneven legs causing him to rock back and forth in tempo with his heavy breaths. The thump of the music and thrum of the crowd seemed to grow louder with each passing moment, making the claustrophobia nearly unbearable.
He held his hands tightly over his ears and squeezed his eyes shut, forcing out the sights and sounds. Forcing out everything on the other side of the wall he faced. He focused on his breath, the quick gasps slowly forming into something more reasonable and calming. He felt his sanity returning, inch by inch, until he was able to think again. About something other than fear.
It had been four days since they last spoke, but Jasper wished it had been a thousand. His disgust and horror at their conversation still lingered, though he had not really thought about it since. He felt no need to dwell on what was ruined.
He threw his bags into the passenger's seat of his Jeep as he climbed in and the engine roared to life. School had been as mundane as ever, until his Bio professor, Mr. Molina, asked where Edward had been the past few days. It was a simple inquiry tossed out as Jasper was leaving the class, but the pain seemed to shoot through him as though he'd been stabbed in the stomach. He had shrugged and bolted from the room, holding his torso all the way out to the parking lot, not sure if he was going to hurl or cry. Turned out it was both.
Their conversation played through his head again as he remembered the scared, desperate look on Edward's face. He had played dumb, but it didn't work. Edward wouldn't let it go.
"I'm in love with you, Jasper. You know that, dammit! You knew that! I'm not stupid! I'm afraid and jealous and confused and a thousand other things, but I'm not stupid. I feel the difference here, and I know you don't know how to handle this. But it's out there now, so let's just deal with it."
Jasper angrily wiped a single tear from his cheek as he pulled out of the parking lot, peeling out for good measure. Why did he have to go and ruin everything? He was my best friend. My only friend.
His internal struggle continued to pry its way out in the form of moisture, dripping off his lower lids and running down his cheeks. He stopped trying to fight it, letting the tears come and screaming out loud. "Why did he have to say that to me? He did this, not me! He's the gay one, not me!"
He revved the engine, reassuring himself and those around that he was strong. Proud. A real man. He wasn't a sissy, like all those boys he saw holding hands in school. He still felt the slaps he got across his face any time his father caught him staring at those boys when he was young. He still heard his father's voice. "We ain't no sissy family, Jasper. You hear me? Them boys aren't men. We're men."
Seattle was a different town and different culture, but his father's words rang clear in his mind. He wasn't raised to be one of them. He was a man.
"I can't even talk to him anymore? I know what he said, but he's my friend, Dad. I can't even try?" Jasper stared blankly at the road, knowing he would receive no answer, but asking anyway. "Dad, please? I can't function right. He was my sounding board, my wingman, my mentor, my tutor. He brought me to music, and music is my life. He introduced me to my life. He was my life, and I loved my life. I loved Edward."
Jasper froze, his foot easing off the gas as his words sank in. He loved Edward. He had never said that about any man before, not even his own father. But he said it about Edward, and he felt it, too. He was in love for the first time. With Edward Cullen.
The booming music of a nearby club sounded, pulling his attention to the bright neon sign on his left. As he slowly passed the Cat House, he remembered what tonight was. Edward's show. His first opener since his dad's accident. And nobody was there, supporting him. Helping him. Loving him.
Jasper grabbed the wheel with both hands and looked around for a spot to park. He passed over a cross street, focusing in on a parking garage a block ahead, so close.
The bright light and squealing tires came out of nowhere…
Edward leaned to take one last peek through the curtain, but he felt a rough shove from behind as the coordinator pushed him out onto the stage. As he took the chair placed center stage, he scanned the audience. There were at least 100 people there, but none that mattered. It might as well have been an audience of one.
He strummed his guitar, robotically introducing the sweet love song he was about to play. He sang the words as best he could, but didn't feel it in his heart. His heart was singing a different song, a sadder song. His mouth sang, Your love is never ending, and deep like the sea. His heart sang, If you loved me, you would be here with me.