Letters to Heaven

Co-written with Big Diesel

Warning: This story is a bit darker. You can choose whether to keep on reading or not.

Chapter 1: Dear Mom and Dad, From Hiro.

No one liked to grief. But grief would come to everyone someday. Little kids, teenagers, even adults would face it. Even though in different ways. Everyone, including the Hamada brothers.

It was almost their parent's death anniversary. Around eleven years ago, they went to a Science Fair in SFIT where Tadashi was chosen as his school's representative. Unfortunately, an accident occurred on their way home. A truck hit their car and took away their parent's lives. What's more, the truck exploded and made a fire. The fire that blended together with the colours of autumn leaves.

Hiro was only three years old that time. He did cry when that accident happened. But he didn't remember a single thing about that. While Tadashi, it was another story. He was already ten that time. He was already old enough to remember everything that happened on that red fiery night.

-oOo-

"I already told you, Aunt Cass. I don't want to do it!"

Tadashi's shout echoed throughout the room. His face was red, trying to hold back his anger. He clenched his fists, breathing slowly. It was his aunt who he's facing right now. The very same aunt who took him and his little brother in when no one else did. But no matter how angry and disgust he was feeling at the moment, he still respected her and didn't want to hurt her.

"Tadashi, I know you don't like the idea. But you've been grieving since two years ago, and look at you now. You look like a mess. And by continuing your grief and becoming an alcoholic like this won't change anything that had happened. I know how you're feeling, but you can't be like this forever."

"What do you know about my feeling!?" he snapped at her. "You weren't the one who lost your parents and witnessed everything!"

Aunt Cass stared sadly at her oldest nephew, "Then how about Hiro, Tadashi? He's your brother, and he also lost your parents. Have you ever thought about his feeling?"

He snorted, "How can he understand when he didn't even remember? Let alone, my feeling? The joy of being too young to remember how our parents died."

"Joy? Tadashi, you're not serious about that right? He's also sad. Sad because he didn't even remember your parents. He only knows about them from you. With you like this, he becomes even sadder, Tadashi. Think about your little brother's feeling, too!"

"And how? By writing a letter to our parents just like what you suggested? I don't want to do it, Aunt Cass. What's the point on writing a letter to the people who died years ago!? If you want to suggest something to me, then choose a good one! Not like that disgusting letter thing!"

"But, Tadashi-"

"I'm going. Don't even bother to wait for me for dinner." Tadashi walked away from her.

The door was opened and slammed shut by Tadashi rather harshly. Aunt Cass sighed, not knowing what to do. Two years ago, something triggered Tadashi's memories about how their parents died. She and Hiro tried to ask him, but he always shrugged them off. Not even wanting to tell them.

The grieving changed Tadashi into the bad side. He was never the person who talks bad or harsh toward other people, always did good things, liked to help people. But now, he wasn't like that anymore. He became harsh, didn't even watch the swearing words whether his little brother was around or not, and becoming an alcoholic person. Every night, he would come home drunk, with at least a smell of alcohol. Sometimes, he even brought a bottle of it.

It didn't only affect his study, but his relationship with his family and friends as well. Especially with his little brother. No one knew if he ever realized that. Now that he had gone out, he was probably going to a bar again. Drowning himself in alcohol.

Aunt Cass sighed and turned around. She gasped a bit when she saw Hiro standing beside the stairs. His head was hanging down, and she immediately knew Hiro heard everything. She walked toward him and pulled him into a hug. She really hated to see her nephews sad.

"Don't worry, Hiro. The Tadashi we knew will come back soon. I hope you understand and won't hate him because of this," Aunt Cass said, stroking Hiro's hair gently.

"I hope so, too, Aunt Cass. I really missed the old Tadashi. Even though he's like this, I can never bring myself to hate him somehow."

Aunt Cass pulled away. She could see a single tear drops from Hiro's eyes. She raised her hand and wiped it with her thumb, "It means you love your big brother dearly. And it's good. I'm really glad he has a little brother like you."

Hiro smiled little to her. Then he remembered something, "By the way, what did you suggest to Tadashi earlier that made him mad like that? I heard it was about a letter?"

"Mmhm," she nodded. "I told him to write a letter to your parents. It's almost their anniversary. And Tadashi is still…, restrained by grief. I really wish he would tell us what happened two years ago, that made him grieving again after all these years. By writing the letter, you two will write everything you have in mind. Everything you really want to tell to your parents. I heard it could help lighten up the heavy feeling you're having."

"Heavy feeling, huh?"

"Yeah. Do you want to try? I won't force you to do it. But, at least, consider my suggestion, okay?"

Hiro only nodded. Aunt Cass patted his shoulder and left him to cook their dinner. He watched as Aunt Cass walks away. He turned around and walked back to his room.

Looking at the room made Hiro sad. It used to be a lively shared-room. He and Tadashi usually talked about things, joking around, played tricks toward each other, sharing ideas. Or sometimes, Tadashi scolding him after he found out the naughty things he did. Now, the room felt really dead and out cold. As if no one had used it for a really long time.

The room in Tadashi's part was also changed. Not a good change. It used to be clean, neat, and tidy. Now, dirty clothes everywhere, books were scattered on the floor, full trash bin, and he could even see cobwebs on the ceiling. That wasn't how Tadashi's room should be.

Hiro sat on the study chair and rested his head on his folded arms. He really missed Tadashi. Nothing good had ever come to them since two years ago. He really wanted to know what the hell happened to Tadashi that changed him like that. But, as much as he wanted to demand Tadashi for answer, he couldn't. More precisely, he didn't dare.

Tadashi had become a really harsh person. If Hiro did something Tadashi didn't like, or disobeying him, he would get the punishments. He wouldn't even hesitate to slap and hit his own little brother along with those cursing words now. Something the old Tadashi would never do to him. Because the old Tadashi would never dare to hurt him, even just a tiny scratch.

Remembering those things left a stinging pain inside him. 'Where did my kind and gentle big brother go?' He sighed. Then, his eyes caught a notebook lying not too far from him. He straightened his body and took the notebook.

"Writing a letter to mom and dad, huh?"

Aunt Cass words rang in his ears. She said writing a letter could lighten up the heavy feeling. "It didn't sound bad, actually," he murmured to himself. "But, should I try it?"

-oOo-

After a long time of thinking, Hiro finally decided to try his aunt's suggestion. He found himself staring at a snow white blank paper on his study table from his seat. He didn't really know what to write. He didn't remember about his parents as much as Tadashi did. Maybe it would be different if he was a bit older when they died. That way, at least he would remember something about them, even just a little bit.

A few minutes passed. Something finally came to his mind. He took a pen from the stationary glass and started to write everything he had in mind that he really wanted to say to his parents.

Dear mom and dad,

Hi, mom. Hi, dad. How are you doing? I hope you're happy in wherever you are now. And you still remember your youngest son, right? Yup, that's me. Hiro Hamada, the coolest nerd in the world. Okay, scratch that. I may be a genius, but I'm not a nerd. Well, Tadashi is. Haha.

Mom, dad, it's been eleven years since your deaths. And I've been missing you since then. I know I didn't remember anything about you. I wish I did. But I was too young when you died.

The truth is, I'm really sad that I didn't even remember about you. I'm jealous of those kids who have their parents with them. And if they don't, they still remember about their parents. That time when I was a kid, I always thought that God was being unfair to me. Taking both of you away from me when I was so little and still needed your love and care. I always kept that to myself, not wanting anyone to know. But somehow, Tadashi knew.

He told me that time, about not keeping everything to myself. To at least tell him if something was bothering me. And after that, I told him everything. I thought he was going to scold me. And yet, he didn't. Instead, he gave me his gentlest smile and hugged me.

Then, he started telling me stories about you two. Showing me pictures of you, and pictures of the four of us. I knew everything about you from Tadashi. I was glad that God didn't take him away, too. If Tadashi had died too that time, I would be left all alone, without any memories about my own family. And I don't want that.

Since your deaths, Tadashi worked so hard to become a dad, a mom, and an older brother for me. He always tried to play with me, care for me, and love me both as parents and brother at the same time. I'm really happy to have such an amazing big brother like him. Without him, I don't know what I would have become now. And every day I feel grateful to have him here with me.

But Tadashi has changed since two years ago. Something happened to him and it made him grieve again. Aunt Cass and I had tried so many times to ask him what happened but he never told us anything. Now, he became a harsh and alcoholic person. He even raised his hand on me few times already. Something the old Tadashi never did to me.

Mom, dad, what happened to him? Where did my brother go? I really missed him. I don't want to lose him, too. He's the only one who makes me know about you two. He's the only want who knows me really well and how to cheer me up every time I have my downs. I love him so much and I'm scared that I would lose him, too.

Tadashi is a really nice person. Whatever bad things that happened to him two years ago that made him became like this, he didn't deserve that. I want my brother back. I want Tadashi back. I don't want to lose him too. I don't want to be left alone. I really need him even though he will think of me as a baby brother forever. I don't care if he calls me a baby in front of everyone. What I really need and want is my brother to come back to me. Without him, I would be lost.

Mom, dad, please, help me bring my brother back. Give me your strength so I could help Tadashi, too. All this time, Tadashi was the one who helped me with my problems. And this time, I want to be able to help him, too. I want him to feel that he's not alone. That he still has me by his side, who is ready to stay and always be there for him on his ups and downs. As his little brother, I'm willing to do anything to make him happy again.

If you really read this letter, or listen to what I told you while writing this letter, then I want to say thank you. I may not remember about you, but I love you. And you two will always live in my heart. Someday, we'll meet again. And when that time comes, I will tell you everything. Including what Tadashi and I have achieved while we're still alive and breathing in this world. I love you, mom, dad. And thank you, for being such amazing parents I ever had.

From,

Hiro Hamada

When Hiro had finished writing his letter, he finally realized that he was crying. He wiped the tears away and took a breath. He had written all the things he wanted to say to his parents. Aunt Cass was right. He did feel a bit better. Well, it would be much better if the old Tadashi had come back, too. He missed Tadashi's smile, laugh, jokes, and everything about him.

He looked at the time and it showed 10:23 pm. "Wow, it's already this late? I better go to sleep now," Hiro said. He took out a white envelope and put the letter he had folded into it. He didn't bother to seal it and just left it on his table. He thought that no one would read it after all.

After he brushed his teeth and changed his clothes to the comfortable ones, he climbed onto his bed and laid there. He yawned. He imagined Tadashi tucked him to his bed and kissed his forehead like he used to do when he was little.

"Good night, big brother," Hiro mumbled to himself before he finally fell to sleep. That night, he had a really nice dream of him, Tadashi, and his parents. A dream that he almost never had over the past years. And unknown to him, later at midnight, someone read the letter he had written for his parents and everything would be changed from the moment he woke up in the morning.

-oOo-

Author's Note: This is our first collaborated story. And I'm really enjoying my time working with him. He's such a great author. So, what do you think of this story? Don't forget to leave a review~