This isn't the list from Zombieland. It from a poster I have. But it kind of funny. So I thought I'd share it with every one.
How to survive a
Zombie Attack!
RULE 1: HOME IS WHERE THE HATCHET IS.
CREATE A HOME BASE WITH PLENTY OF WEAPONS -
THE SHARPER THE BETTER
RULE 2:WATCH EXPIRATION DATE.
STOCKPILE FOOD AND WATERFOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME. CANNED FOOD IS GOOD. JUNK FOOD IS BETTER.
RULE 3: KNOCK. KNOCK.
WHO'S THERE? A ZOMBIE! BE SURE TO CREATE A STRONG ENTRY AND EXIT DOOR. BARRICADE ALL DOORS AND WINDOWS.
RULE 4: YOUR MOM.
TRUST NO ONE - NOT EVEN YOUR MOM.(EVEN IF YOUR FRIENDS THINK SHE'S HOT.)
RULE 5: HAVE A BURNING DESIRE.
ZOMBIES HATE FIRE. LEARN TO MAKE FIRE WITH EVERYDAY OBJECTS.
RULE 6:WEAR PROTECTION.
AVOID ALL ZOMBIE BODY FLUIDS. YUCK!
RULE 7:WEAR SUNGLASSES.
A NICE PAIR OF SHADES ALWAYS LOOK COOL AND WILL PROTECT YOUR EYES.
RULE 8:RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.
STAY FIT AND FAST. MOST ZOMBIES RUN LIKE THE CHUBBY KID IN YOUR THIRD GRADE CLASS.
RULE 9:BATTER UP.
ZOMBIE DOWN. KEEP A LARGE BLUNT OBJECT NEARBY AND READY TO SWING AT ALL TIMES. A BAT, CROWBAR OR STURDY TREE LIMB USUALLY WORKS NICELY.
RULE 10: NO BRAIN, NO PAIN.
DECAPITATING A ZOMBIE IS BEST BUT KIND OF GROSS. KEY IS TO DESTROY THE BRAIN STEM.
RULE 11: BEWARE OF BRUSH.
STAY CLEAR OF BUSHES AND SHRUBBERY IN GENERAL.
RULE 12: STAGGER AND DROOL.
LEARN TO STAGGER, LUMER AND DROOL. MAKE ZOMBIES THINK YOU'RE ONE OF THEM. JUST PRETEND YOU'RE A GYM TEACHER.
RULE 13: CLICHÉ IS OKAY.
ALWAYS CHECK CLOSETS AND UNDER BEDS BEFORE RELAXINGIN FRONT OF THE TV.
RULE 14: BOOBIES ARE GOOD.
SET BOOBY TRAPS AS WARNINGS AND ALERTS: TRIP WIRES AND RATTLING CANS ARE GOOD IDEA.
RULE 15: SLIPPERY KNOBS.
TRY PUTTING VASELINE ON DOORKNOBS. ZOMBIES GET FRUSTRATED.
RULE 16: NICE TO MEAT YOU.
ALWAYS LEAVE RAW MEAT OUT IN THE OPEN TO DISTRACT ZOMBIES. BETTER THEY EAT IT THEN YOU.
RULE 17:ALWAYS WASH YOUR HANDS.
HEY, MAYBE YOUR MOM WAS RIGHT!
RULE 18: OBJECTS IN THE MIRRORS.
CHECK BACKSEATS BEFORE BUCKLING IN.
RULE 19: DON'T GET MAULED.
AVOID POPULATED AREAS LIKE SHOPPING MALLS AND MOVIE THATRES. TO A ZOMBIE, THOSE ARE AN ALL - YOU - CAN - EAT BUFFET.
RULE 20: GO ALL THE WAY.
A WOUNDED ZOMBIE IS NOT A DEAD ZOMBIE.
There it is. A list to survive a zombie attack. Hope you enjoyed it.