DISCLAIMER : Anything related to suikoden written in this story belongs to konami

Hello everyone, this is my first fic. A one-shot fic. The idea came out of nowhere. So, Enjoy! Hope you ROFL \( n)/

Every Suikoden series has a castle. Have you ever wondered what the suikoden characters do when they first time move into castle?

~Suikoden 1 – Toran Castle~

There is a castle in the middle of toran lake. Although it looks like a pile of a very old rocks. The inside is surprisingly amazing. But you don't get even a glimpse of the castle during your first trip here. What you see is a merely dragon nest, I think...

Anyway, despite the appearance. Our leader of Liberation Army, Tir McDohl, suggested making this castle his HQ. Actually it was a wise decision regarding the strategic geographical location and so on and so on...

What Tir did not think wisely is...

Victor : OMG! This castle is FULL OF DRAGON P**P!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Deleted Scene~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ And that was the Liberation Army first phrase at the Toran Castle...how uncool (that's why the scene is deleted)

~Suikoden 2 – North Window Castle~

Judging from last story, I know you will think that this castle will be full of... you what I'm talking about. BUT that is not correct. Muahahaha *weird*

7 Mysteries of North Window Castle

Storage Strange Noise

*rattle**rattle* was often heard at 7pm at night

Barbara : what was that noise? Sounds like rat but bigger...

Stone Tablet Writting

At the bottom of Stone Table there was a writting says "Neclord wuz here"

Luc : WHO the freaking idiots dare to wrote THIS?!

Bathroom Ghost Story

If you go to bathroom at midnight you randomly might see a figure like ghost

Nanami : ARGHHH! Riou! Lets go home to kyaro! I don't want to live here anymore!

Falling Scream at Rope Game

If you take too long to finish rope game at the cliff, you will hear sound like someone falling

Millie : what was that?

Cry at Leona's Tavern

If you go to Leona's Tavern, you will hear someone crying

Leona : Cut it out! If you try to scare me that doesn't work

Graveyard Party

Every Saturday night always heard sound of party at graveyard

Clive : I sense something, why I can't find it?

Suggestion Box Anonymous Letter

Suddenly a weird letter was put inside the suggestion box, here how it says:

Dear Lord Riou,

I'm happy that Neclord is gone so I can do anything I want. But I want to tell you something. Like when I go to storage, I seldomly find food there. Only armors and unused items. I cannot eat those. Please leave a little food. And sorry for the stone tablet, I wrote it when I was drunk. Also sometimes when I take a bath, someone screaming. I just wanna tell them that the water was ran out. I was taking a bath you know, I need someone help me to get more water.

I love to climb rope sometimes for fun, but I always fail. Because falling is hurt I cried out for help at the Tavern. But I was being yelled at. Its hurts...

Also, I invited you to my party at Saturday night. Not too grand, but more the merrier. Thank you Lord Riou fo being such kind that you let me stay.

Sincerely,

Zombie

Victor : Whaatt?! I thought I kill all of you

Nanami : Lets just go home Riou!

Riou :...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Deleted Scene~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~I am speechless

~Suikoden 3 – Budehuc Castle~

This one looks like a decent castle, or is it? *evil grin*

Day One

Thomas wakes up from his bed. Half-awake Thomas go to bed room.

Thomas : whaa? What are these puddles doing?

So it looks like there were water leak at Budehuc Castle...okay, still normal

Day Two

Rain heavily

Thomas : oh no, not only there were puddles even the roof is not strong enough against the rain.

So there were lots of hole in the roof...Big deal

Day Three

Sunshineeee~

Thomas wakes up again. And...

Thomas : OMG! Half of my castle furniture washed away by the water!

And that is the reason Thomas must works hard to defend his castle. Not only from human, but also from nature

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Deleted Scene~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Poor Thomas

~Suikoden 4 – Dauntless Ship~

This castle born to be different. Because it's a ship ;D

During the Kooluk attack Dauntless ship sail away from its long resting ground.

Lazlo : This ship isn't so bad after all, nice sails and made from good wood. Wow, this ship has everything. I better explore it and make a list to make this ship better. This ship going to be my home anyway.

10 minutes later...

Lazlo : okay, all those corals need to be removed. Check!

15 minutes later...

Lazlo : Some floor or wall gave squeak, need repairing, check!

20 minutes later...

Lazlo : does this ship have bathroom? Should add one, check!

25 minutes later...

Lazlo : hmm, more light should help. Maybe some air conditioner too, check!

30 minutes later... he arrives at the deck

Lazlo :What the?! There's a lot of Bats' c**p! (It is sitting in the cave for a looooooonnnggg time)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Deleted Scene~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Somebody, please, clean that up.

~Suikoden 5 – Blue Simmering High err, wait...Sindar Ruins Castle~

After above stories finally we arrived at the Suikoden 5, The Falenas...

I don't know whether this castle is found by coincidence or Lucretia knows it. If this castle found by accident, that means if they do not found it. Prince wouldn't have HQ 0_o

Either way, let's proceeds to the story...

When I saw Sindar Ruins Castle for first time, I thought of mermaid or atlantis like resident. But a huge female snake instead the one that showed up. A giant turtle also will be there *after you recruit him*. Remind me of seaworld.

So the Prince's party actually goes to sindar ruins beside the lake to open sluice gate. ACCIDENTLY found a castle. Since the prince is tired living in raftleet because he have motion sickness (look at scene when he ride a ship into island federation, he and lyon suffer the same illness. how romantic...wait. no, it does not)

And he decided to move to the castle.

Do you know what he foooouuuuunnnndddd?

A free fresh fish market!

Think about it, the castle has been underwater since like hundred years ago. And there also fishing mini game there. So what makes you think when the water level drop the fish and everything will go with the flow? It DOESN'T some fish, coral, algae and others STUCK in the castle.

So here how the dialogue go...

Lyon : are you sure wanted to live here prince?

Prince : yeah, let's think positively. Sushi for everyone

Lyon : o-okay

5 minutes later or few steps later...

Everyone : OMG! This place full of FISH P**P EVERYWHERE!

And what make it more hilarious is that they have to do it TWICE

After play trap on Childerich's army when they occupied the castle. (Sorry spoiler) They were drowning by Lucretia tactics. Imagine their reaction when Prince's army recaptured the castle.

Prince : SERIOUSLY?! Do we have to clean it again?! Lucretia, WHY do you have to do this to us?

Lyon : u-uhh, Prince. Sushi for everyone? *forced smile*

Prince : NOOOOO! That's not the PROBLEEMMM!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Deleted Scene~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Because this scene will plummet Prince's image

That's why Konami, I ask you to give the suikoden character a brand-new castle or at least a decent castle.

The light is off, the sword is sheated and the sun has gone.

The story might be off but my work was done.

R 'n R is appreciated

See you to ROFL next time

PS : if you read again while imagining Suikoden in real life, it should be funnier.