Authors I do not own any of these characters with the exception of
Emily. All rights to Buffy belong to Mr. Joss Wedon and the songs belong to
there respected Authors.
( ) Means Songs -- Means Memories
The headlights fell on the empty stretch of road. The rain was pounding quietly on the windshield. Buffy looked out at the endless road in front of her. She let her hand wander to the eye that was swollen and bruised. "This is for us baby. No more screaming, no more fights. Buffy ran her fingers through her daughter's hair. Me and you Emily, that's all we have for now." She hoped that her daughter wouldn't resent her for the actions she had taken. Buffys mind started to wander.
- "Say cheese." Buffy snapped the picture of her husband Spike and their daughter Emily. "Your turn love" Spike took the camera and snapped one of the two of them. It was a beautiful day. All that mattered in her world was her husband and their little angel -
"Those were the good times. Before everything else happened." Buffy said quietly to herself before drying the tears that rolled down her face.
-"Your screwing around with him aren't you. Admit it Buffy" "Spike I
swear I'm not" Spike smacked her across the face. "Don't you ever lie to
me again." Buffy held her face in shock. He continued to hit her and she
just sat there and took it-
The memories haunted her toying with her emotions. "That's all behind me now."
(Floorboard's filled with baby toys,
An' empty coke bottles and coffee cups.
Drivin' through the rain with no radio,
Tryin' not to wake her up.
Cell 'phone says "low battery",
God, what if I break down?
I'm just looking' for an exit with a lotta lights,
A safe little interstate town. (
Buffy steered the car towards the nearest exit. Just a few hours of sleep is all I need. She thought quietly. Her biggest fear is that he would come looking for them so she though it best to keep moving.
(Just a cheap hotel,
with a single bed,
And cable TV:
Is good enough for me and Emily. (
Buffy picked up her daughter and carried her into the hotel. She kept her close as she moved what little stuff they had into the hotel. Trying to move a fast as possible because of the rain.
(Some day, when she's old enough,
She's gonna start asking' questions about him.
Some kid at school brings his Dad for show an' tell,
An' gets her little mind a-wondering':
"Where's my Daddy? Do I have one?
"Does he not love me like you do?"
Oh, maybe I'll find someone to love the both of us,
An' I'll tell her when she's old enough to know the truth.
Will it break her heart?
Will she understand,
that I had to leave?
That's what was best for me an' Emily. (
- "I work all day would it kill you to have all this cleaned up when I get home so I can relax." Spike screamed at the top of his lungs. "Why did I even marry you? You're a useless piece of trash."-
(That house was never clean enough; his dinner never warm enough.
Nothing I did was ever good enough to make him happy.
So, I guess, he gave me what he thought I deserved,
but it would kill me if he ever raised his hand to her. (
After getting a little bit of sleep Buffy grabbed their stuff and was back on the road before Emily even woke up. She noticed that it was still raining and turned on the windshield wipers. "I wish the radio still worked she thought to herself.
- "Come on baby we are leaving" "Where is daddy?" the young blonde looked up at her mother. "He's not coming sweetie. So grab some toys and Mr. Grodo so we can go." Buffy had gathered some clothes for her and her daughter and left a note for her husband-
(Big rigs are throwing' rain on my windshield,
An' I feel like they're laughing' at me.
Finally the storm is letting' up,
An' the morning' is breaking' free.
It's a brand new day;
it's a second chance.
Yesterday is just a memory,
for me an' Emily.
Floorboard is filled with baby toys,
An' empty coke bottles an' coffee cups. Least there's one good thing that he gave me,
An' she's starting' to wake up. (
"Mommy where are we?" The little blonde sat up in her car seat. "Well sweetie we are going to visit it and old friend of mommies." Buffy stared at the road in front of her. She thought about the last time she saw Angel.
- "Angel I just think this is going to work. You are everything that I want but I can't tie you down. So go please."-
The memories of him hurt more and more every time she relived them. "What's your friends name mommy?" "His name is Angel." Buffy smiled just saying his name. "Is he your guarding angel?" "You could say that."
-"Whoa there are you alright." A handsome man stopped to help her up. " Yeah I just wasn't watching where I was going." He smiled "Well lucky for you I was here to pick you up. My name is Angel." "Hi. My name is Buffy."-
"Mommy I need to go potty and I am hungry." "Ok sweetie. At the next stop I will get us something to eat." The little girl hummed a silly little song to herself. "Do you remember that one mommy?" "Of course sweetie."
-You know that no matter where I go I will always be with you.
(Every breath you take every move you make. Every bond you break. Every
step you take. I'll be watching you. Every single day every word you say.
Every game you play. Every night you stay. I'll be watching you. O can't
you see. You belong to me. How my poor heartaches with every step you
take. Every move you make. Every vow you break. Every smile you fake.
Every claim you stake. I'll be watching you. Since you've gone I been
lost without a trace. I dream at night I can only see your face. I look
around but it's you I can't replace. I keep crying baby please. Every
move you make. Every vow you break. Every smile you fake. Every claim you
stake I'll be watching you"(
Buffy looked up at the man in front of her. "I'll never forget you."-
Buffy stopped at a gas station and took Emily to the bathroom. "Honey I am going to make a phone call. Stay right here. Buffy picked up the phone and dialed a number that she had in her pocket. An answering machine picked up.
(Hello there, the angel from my nightmare the shadow in the background of the morgue(
"Hi you have reached Angel. I am not here right now but please leave me a message and I will get back to you"
(The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley we can live like Jack and Sally if we want
where you can always find me we'll have Halloween on Christmas and in the night we'll wish this never ends we'll wish this never ends
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you) (
"Hi Angel its me. Um... I need to see you. In fact I am on my way to LA as we speak so um I'll call when I get closer to town."
(Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
this sick strange darkness
comes creeping on so haunting every time
and as I stared I counted
webs from all the spiders
catching things and eating their insides
like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
will you come home and stop this pain tonight
stop this pain tonight (
"Angel I need you right now so I am hoping that we can put the past behind us and let bygones be bygones."
(Don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you) (
"I'll see you soon"
(Don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)(
Buffy hung up the phone. As soon as they were back on the road Emily started asking questions again. "Mommy why did we leave Daddy?" Buffy felt lost in her daughter's child like innocence. "Daddy. Well Munchkin Daddy was being mean to mommy so I decided that it was time for us to take a vacation."
-"You are a little slut Buffy" "Spike please keep your voice down Emily
is trying to sleep." "I don't give a damn. She is the cause of all
this. Before we had her everything was fine" Buffy turned away afraid
that if she said anything to the contrary he would beat her again. "Look
at me when I am talking to you." Buffy refused to turn around. He grabbed
her arm and whipped her around. "I said look at me!" Buffy kept her eyes
on the ground. Spike punched her with all his might in the eye. She
quickly fell to the ground. Spike then started kicking her with a brute
force that she had never even felt before. After ten minutes of violent
beatings he finally relented and grabbed his keys and rushed out of the
house. Buffy laid there and listened to him peal out of the driveway. She
stayed frozen in that spot and let the tears run down her face. -
"Mommy are you ok. You look like your gonna cry. I didn't think that
mommies cried." "Yeah baby we do." Buffy stared out at the road. "Where
does Angel live?" "Emmy are we playing twenty questions?" "Maybe, we
are maybe were not." "Angel lives in Los Angeles sweetie." The little
girl chuckled.
- "Where are you going to go?" Buffy looked concerned as Angel packed his
things. "I think I am going to go to visit my friend Wesley and his wife
Fred in Los Angeles." Angel took something out of his dresser and handed
it to Buffy. "I want you to have this to remember me by." Buffy opened
the box and found a beautiful silver cross. "Its gorgeous. Thank You."
"Well its time for me to get out of here. See you soon."-
"Mommy will you sing me a song?" "Sure sweetie.
(She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye
she would suffer, she would fight, and compromise
she's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright
for answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight
she must rinse this all away
she can't hold him this way
she must rinse this all away
she can't love him this way
how she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could see
she needs to be held in his arms to be free
but everything happens for reasons that she will never understand
'til she knows the heart of a woman will never be found in the arms of a
man
and if she runs away she fears she won't be followed
what could be the worse than leaving something behind
and as the depth of oceans slowly become shallow
it's loneliness she finds...
if only he was mine
she'd do anything to sparkle in his eye
she would suffer, she would fight, and compromise
she's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright
for answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight
she must rinse him
she must rinse him
she can't rinse him
she can't rinse him
she can't, she won't, she must rinse him
she can't, she won't, she must rinse him
she must rinse this all away
she can't hold him this way
she must rinse this all away
she can't love him this way(
"Mommy you have such a beautiful voice." The child looked at her mother
adoringly "That's a song that your grandma Joyce use to sing to me and
your Aunts Dawn, and Faith." The child picked up her favorite toy Mr.
Grodo. "Well Mr. Grodo we are going to meet mommas friend Angel in the
City of Angels. Inset that funny Mr. Grodo." They passed a sign that said
Los Angeles 50 miles. "Yea baby and he is going to be shocked to see
us."
-"Angel I need to tell you something." Buffy held the phone close to her
ear. "What's up Buff?" "Well two things. Spike asked me to marry him
because I am pregnant." Buffy listened for any type of reaction from the
other end of the line. "Can I come see you?" "Yeah of course."-
"So baby. Is there anything you want to do when we get to Los Angeles?" "
Can we go to the beach?" "Yeah sweetie I don't see why not."
-"Hey." Buffy looked at the tall dark figure that was standing in front
of her. "Buffy its good to see you." Buffy watched up to him and engulfed
him in a hug. "I have really missed you." He just nodded. "So are you
serious about marrying this guy." "Yeah. I am gonna need someone to
support the baby and me. He is a good man" "Buffy I can take care of
you." "Angel we have gone through this before. I can't ask you to give up
everything for me and this child." Angel grabbed Buffy. "We are in this
together even if you do marry him"-
Buffy saw a gas station and pulled in. She picked Emily up and walked
over to the phone booth. "Stay here Em." Buffy dialed Angels number
again. After the Machine picked up she said, "We are in the city limits
so I will call you again in a little bit" Buffy hung up the phone.
Thoughts raced through her head. What if he has moved on and doesn't want
anything to do with me. She picked the phone back up and called her best
friend Willow. "Hello Harris and Rosenberg residence." "Hey Will its
Buffy" "Hey Buffy what's going on." "I am coming into town. Do you
think that it would be okay if me and Emily stayed with you?" "Yeah of
course. But you should know that your sister is here." "Faith." "Yeah
she came in a week ago." "Well sometimes you just have to face your
demons." "Okay we will have a place for you and Emily when you get
here." "Thanks Will it means a lot to me." "Yeah no problem."
-"Faith that's ridiculous. You know that I can't make that. Well what do
you want me to do? I can't just leave Spike and Emily." Buffy held the
phone with a shaken hand. "I am sorry Faith." She listened for a minute.
"Well how about you, Willow, Robin and Xander come see me." After
another moment the tear slide down her face at an alarming rate. "No.
Yes. I don't want to loose you you're my twin sister. If I am gonna have
to choose I have to choose them Faith"-
"Well Munchkin how about we go see Aunt Faith, Aunt Willow and Uncle
Xander?" "The little girls face brightened up. "Yeah!" The two raced
back to the car and got under way. Almost an hour later Buffy read a sign
tat read Welcome to Los Angeles. "Are we there mommy?" "Almost Emmie it
will be just a couple more minutes." The miniature fair-haired child sat
up and looked around excitedly. Buffy steered the car in to the driveway
of a huge mansion. As she parked the car she noticed a tall red haired
female standing on the front porch waiting for them. Buffy helped Emily
out of the car. "Aunt Willow." The little girl ran towards her aunt. "
Hey there Emmie. How is my favorite little girl?" She picked her up and
gave her a hug. "Where is Uncle Xander?" "He is inside cooking dinner.
Does Spaghetti sound good?" "Mmmmmm" "Why don't you go on in and say hi
to Uncle Xander while your mom and I go get you guys stuff." "Okay"
Emily ran in to the house. "So what happened Buffy." Buffy looked at her
best friend. "Oh my goodness are you okay." Willow hugged her friend. "
I'm alright now. I didn't know what to do." Willow nodded. "So after he
beat me I packed up some stuff for me and Em and decided that I would
come here and look for Angel. "Well sweetie you did the right thing by
coming here. Xander and I will take care of you." Buffy nodded. "Well
let's get inside before it starts to rain. The two walked into the house.
Willow took Buffy to the room that her and Emily would be staying in.
(I'm not afraid of anything I just need to know that I can breath I
don't need much of anything But suddenly, suddenly(
"Where is Faith?" "I am right here B" Buffy turned around and looked at
her sister. "I am going to leave you two alone." Willow hugged Buffy
again and left.
(I am small and the world is big All around me is fast moving.
Surrounded by so many things
but suddenly, suddenly (
"Geeze B what happened." "He thought I was screwing around on him and
he beat me." Buffy sat down on her bed. "I didn't want to loose you
Faith, but he wouldn't let me go." Faith walked over to her sister.
(How does it feel, to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it
feel, to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it feel? (
"If I had known Robin and I would have been there in a heartbeat. I
thought I lost you." Faith grabbed her sister's hand.
(I'm young, and I am free But I get tired, and I get weak I get lost, and
I can't sleep But suddenly, suddenly(
"So you came to LA to do what exactly." "Well I came here to look for
Angel." Buffy stood up. "Ok so you're here to find Angel, but what are
you gonna do about things back home." Buffy just shrugged her shoulders.
( How does it feel, to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it
feel, to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it feel? (
"Faith we have had our differences wouldn't you say?" "B. I think that
maybe an understatement. After Mom and Giles died we just drifted apart.
Then I met Robin and you met Spike and that was it."
(Would you come, my head Would you cry with me; Ahh, ahh, ahh-ah ahh,
ahh-ah ahh, ahh-ah ahh, ahh-ah Ahh, ahh, ahh-ah ahh, ahh-ah ahh, ahh-ah
ahh, ahh-ah I am small and the world is big But I'm not afraid of
anything; (
Buffy walked to the window and stared at the rain hitting the ground. "I
was so lost when mom and Giles died. I threw away everything so that I
didn't have to deal with it all."
( How does it feel, to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it
feel, to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it feel,
to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it feel, to be
different from me? Are we the same? (
"Well B we grew up and in different directions. Our whole lives we had
each other and then all the sudden we didn't have very much common
ground." "Buffy started to cry. "Faith I love you." Faith walked up to
her sister and put her head on her shoulder. "I know B. I know." The
heard a gentle knock on the door. It was Xander with Emily in tow. "Just
came up to tell you dinner is done." Emily pushed her way past Xander. "
Mommy what are you doing?" The young girl walked up to her mother. "I
was just talking with Aunt Faith." Emily turned her sights on her aunt. "
Hey there Emmie." Faith scooped Emily in a hug. The group walked
downstairs and the sent of a good home cooked meal smelt so appealing.
The group sat down and after fixing Emily a plate she gave herself a fair
sized plate. After dinner Buffy put Emily down to bed. "Goodnight
sweetie." "Goodnight Mommy." Buffy kissed her daughter on the head.
Buffy went downstairs into the living room. She picked up the phone and
the hung it up again. Come on you can do this its just Angel. She dialed
his number. It rang a couple of times before he picked up. "Hello" Buffy
pressed the phone to her ear "Hey" she said quietly. "Its me." "How
have you been? Where are you. Can I see you?" "I am staying with Willow
and Xander right now but yeah you can see me." "Is he there with you?" "
No I left him." "Well I am on my way right now" "Okay See you when you
get here." She hung up the phone and wrapped her arms around herself.
Xander walked into the room. "You alright Buff?" "Yeah. Angels on his
way" "Okay I will put some coffee" Buffy nodded as she watched Xander
leave the room. She retreated to her position by the window.
-"Mommy you have a letter." "Thanks sweetie." Buffy took the letter
from her daughter and watched her run into the other room to play. She
unfolded the letter and read it.
Dear Buffy,
It's been a couple of months since I heard from you. Are you okay? I
worry about you all the time. I know we agreed that I would keep my
distance but I need you in my life. Wes and Fred say that you are welcome
here at anytime. Maybe it would be for the better if you got a way for a
little bit. Just think about it. I am always here. Buffy I know that you
still love me and I still love you with all my heart. Come back to me
please Angel-
Buffy heard a knock on the door and hurried to get it.
( Spend all your time waiting for that second chance For the break that
will make it OK There's always some reason to feel not good enough And
it's hard at the end of the day I need some distraction or a beautiful
release Memories seep from my veins Let me be empty and weightless and
maybe
I'll find some peace tonight (
There standing in the door way was her Angel soaked from head to toe. "
Come in before you catch a cold." Buffy pulled him inside. When he got in
the house he pulled her into a tight hug.
(In the arms of the Angel far away from here From this dark, cold hotel
room, and the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some
comfort here
"What happened?" She broke away from him. "He found the letter and just
lost it."
(So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn There's vultures
and thieves at your back The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on
building the lies That you make up for all that you lack It don't make no
difference, escaping one last time It's easier to believe In this sweet
madness, oh this glorious sadness That brings me to my knees (
"I have waited so long to be back in your arms. I never told you this
but there is no where else that feels safer."
(In the arms of the Angel far away from here From this dark, cold hotel
room, and the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie In the arms of the Angel; may you find some
comfort here You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort
here(
"I have missed you so much Buffy." Buffy smiled and reached up to touch
his face. He brought his face to hears and gave her the most passionate
kiss the world has ever seen. "Do you want to meet her?" "Of course."
The couple walked up the stairs and Buffy opened the door to her room.
There Angel saw Emily sleeping on the bed. "That's our little Angel"
Angel looked at Buffy and she nodded. "My little Emily" Buffy walked up
to Angel and put her hand in his. With that gesture she knew that her
pain and suffering were all over for her. Her Guardian Angel was with her
once again.
( ) Means Songs -- Means Memories
The headlights fell on the empty stretch of road. The rain was pounding quietly on the windshield. Buffy looked out at the endless road in front of her. She let her hand wander to the eye that was swollen and bruised. "This is for us baby. No more screaming, no more fights. Buffy ran her fingers through her daughter's hair. Me and you Emily, that's all we have for now." She hoped that her daughter wouldn't resent her for the actions she had taken. Buffys mind started to wander.
- "Say cheese." Buffy snapped the picture of her husband Spike and their daughter Emily. "Your turn love" Spike took the camera and snapped one of the two of them. It was a beautiful day. All that mattered in her world was her husband and their little angel -
"Those were the good times. Before everything else happened." Buffy said quietly to herself before drying the tears that rolled down her face.
-"Your screwing around with him aren't you. Admit it Buffy" "Spike I
swear I'm not" Spike smacked her across the face. "Don't you ever lie to
me again." Buffy held her face in shock. He continued to hit her and she
just sat there and took it-
The memories haunted her toying with her emotions. "That's all behind me now."
(Floorboard's filled with baby toys,
An' empty coke bottles and coffee cups.
Drivin' through the rain with no radio,
Tryin' not to wake her up.
Cell 'phone says "low battery",
God, what if I break down?
I'm just looking' for an exit with a lotta lights,
A safe little interstate town. (
Buffy steered the car towards the nearest exit. Just a few hours of sleep is all I need. She thought quietly. Her biggest fear is that he would come looking for them so she though it best to keep moving.
(Just a cheap hotel,
with a single bed,
And cable TV:
Is good enough for me and Emily. (
Buffy picked up her daughter and carried her into the hotel. She kept her close as she moved what little stuff they had into the hotel. Trying to move a fast as possible because of the rain.
(Some day, when she's old enough,
She's gonna start asking' questions about him.
Some kid at school brings his Dad for show an' tell,
An' gets her little mind a-wondering':
"Where's my Daddy? Do I have one?
"Does he not love me like you do?"
Oh, maybe I'll find someone to love the both of us,
An' I'll tell her when she's old enough to know the truth.
Will it break her heart?
Will she understand,
that I had to leave?
That's what was best for me an' Emily. (
- "I work all day would it kill you to have all this cleaned up when I get home so I can relax." Spike screamed at the top of his lungs. "Why did I even marry you? You're a useless piece of trash."-
(That house was never clean enough; his dinner never warm enough.
Nothing I did was ever good enough to make him happy.
So, I guess, he gave me what he thought I deserved,
but it would kill me if he ever raised his hand to her. (
After getting a little bit of sleep Buffy grabbed their stuff and was back on the road before Emily even woke up. She noticed that it was still raining and turned on the windshield wipers. "I wish the radio still worked she thought to herself.
- "Come on baby we are leaving" "Where is daddy?" the young blonde looked up at her mother. "He's not coming sweetie. So grab some toys and Mr. Grodo so we can go." Buffy had gathered some clothes for her and her daughter and left a note for her husband-
(Big rigs are throwing' rain on my windshield,
An' I feel like they're laughing' at me.
Finally the storm is letting' up,
An' the morning' is breaking' free.
It's a brand new day;
it's a second chance.
Yesterday is just a memory,
for me an' Emily.
Floorboard is filled with baby toys,
An' empty coke bottles an' coffee cups. Least there's one good thing that he gave me,
An' she's starting' to wake up. (
"Mommy where are we?" The little blonde sat up in her car seat. "Well sweetie we are going to visit it and old friend of mommies." Buffy stared at the road in front of her. She thought about the last time she saw Angel.
- "Angel I just think this is going to work. You are everything that I want but I can't tie you down. So go please."-
The memories of him hurt more and more every time she relived them. "What's your friends name mommy?" "His name is Angel." Buffy smiled just saying his name. "Is he your guarding angel?" "You could say that."
-"Whoa there are you alright." A handsome man stopped to help her up. " Yeah I just wasn't watching where I was going." He smiled "Well lucky for you I was here to pick you up. My name is Angel." "Hi. My name is Buffy."-
"Mommy I need to go potty and I am hungry." "Ok sweetie. At the next stop I will get us something to eat." The little girl hummed a silly little song to herself. "Do you remember that one mommy?" "Of course sweetie."
-You know that no matter where I go I will always be with you.
(Every breath you take every move you make. Every bond you break. Every
step you take. I'll be watching you. Every single day every word you say.
Every game you play. Every night you stay. I'll be watching you. O can't
you see. You belong to me. How my poor heartaches with every step you
take. Every move you make. Every vow you break. Every smile you fake.
Every claim you stake. I'll be watching you. Since you've gone I been
lost without a trace. I dream at night I can only see your face. I look
around but it's you I can't replace. I keep crying baby please. Every
move you make. Every vow you break. Every smile you fake. Every claim you
stake I'll be watching you"(
Buffy looked up at the man in front of her. "I'll never forget you."-
Buffy stopped at a gas station and took Emily to the bathroom. "Honey I am going to make a phone call. Stay right here. Buffy picked up the phone and dialed a number that she had in her pocket. An answering machine picked up.
(Hello there, the angel from my nightmare the shadow in the background of the morgue(
"Hi you have reached Angel. I am not here right now but please leave me a message and I will get back to you"
(The unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley we can live like Jack and Sally if we want
where you can always find me we'll have Halloween on Christmas and in the night we'll wish this never ends we'll wish this never ends
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you) (
"Hi Angel its me. Um... I need to see you. In fact I am on my way to LA as we speak so um I'll call when I get closer to town."
(Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
this sick strange darkness
comes creeping on so haunting every time
and as I stared I counted
webs from all the spiders
catching things and eating their insides
like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
will you come home and stop this pain tonight
stop this pain tonight (
"Angel I need you right now so I am hoping that we can put the past behind us and let bygones be bygones."
(Don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
Don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you) (
"I'll see you soon"
(Don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)(
Buffy hung up the phone. As soon as they were back on the road Emily started asking questions again. "Mommy why did we leave Daddy?" Buffy felt lost in her daughter's child like innocence. "Daddy. Well Munchkin Daddy was being mean to mommy so I decided that it was time for us to take a vacation."
-"You are a little slut Buffy" "Spike please keep your voice down Emily
is trying to sleep." "I don't give a damn. She is the cause of all
this. Before we had her everything was fine" Buffy turned away afraid
that if she said anything to the contrary he would beat her again. "Look
at me when I am talking to you." Buffy refused to turn around. He grabbed
her arm and whipped her around. "I said look at me!" Buffy kept her eyes
on the ground. Spike punched her with all his might in the eye. She
quickly fell to the ground. Spike then started kicking her with a brute
force that she had never even felt before. After ten minutes of violent
beatings he finally relented and grabbed his keys and rushed out of the
house. Buffy laid there and listened to him peal out of the driveway. She
stayed frozen in that spot and let the tears run down her face. -
"Mommy are you ok. You look like your gonna cry. I didn't think that
mommies cried." "Yeah baby we do." Buffy stared out at the road. "Where
does Angel live?" "Emmy are we playing twenty questions?" "Maybe, we
are maybe were not." "Angel lives in Los Angeles sweetie." The little
girl chuckled.
- "Where are you going to go?" Buffy looked concerned as Angel packed his
things. "I think I am going to go to visit my friend Wesley and his wife
Fred in Los Angeles." Angel took something out of his dresser and handed
it to Buffy. "I want you to have this to remember me by." Buffy opened
the box and found a beautiful silver cross. "Its gorgeous. Thank You."
"Well its time for me to get out of here. See you soon."-
"Mommy will you sing me a song?" "Sure sweetie.
(She'd do anything to sparkle in his eye
she would suffer, she would fight, and compromise
she's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright
for answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight
she must rinse this all away
she can't hold him this way
she must rinse this all away
she can't love him this way
how she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could see
she needs to be held in his arms to be free
but everything happens for reasons that she will never understand
'til she knows the heart of a woman will never be found in the arms of a
man
and if she runs away she fears she won't be followed
what could be the worse than leaving something behind
and as the depth of oceans slowly become shallow
it's loneliness she finds...
if only he was mine
she'd do anything to sparkle in his eye
she would suffer, she would fight, and compromise
she's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright
for answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight
she must rinse him
she must rinse him
she can't rinse him
she can't rinse him
she can't, she won't, she must rinse him
she can't, she won't, she must rinse him
she must rinse this all away
she can't hold him this way
she must rinse this all away
she can't love him this way(
"Mommy you have such a beautiful voice." The child looked at her mother
adoringly "That's a song that your grandma Joyce use to sing to me and
your Aunts Dawn, and Faith." The child picked up her favorite toy Mr.
Grodo. "Well Mr. Grodo we are going to meet mommas friend Angel in the
City of Angels. Inset that funny Mr. Grodo." They passed a sign that said
Los Angeles 50 miles. "Yea baby and he is going to be shocked to see
us."
-"Angel I need to tell you something." Buffy held the phone close to her
ear. "What's up Buff?" "Well two things. Spike asked me to marry him
because I am pregnant." Buffy listened for any type of reaction from the
other end of the line. "Can I come see you?" "Yeah of course."-
"So baby. Is there anything you want to do when we get to Los Angeles?" "
Can we go to the beach?" "Yeah sweetie I don't see why not."
-"Hey." Buffy looked at the tall dark figure that was standing in front
of her. "Buffy its good to see you." Buffy watched up to him and engulfed
him in a hug. "I have really missed you." He just nodded. "So are you
serious about marrying this guy." "Yeah. I am gonna need someone to
support the baby and me. He is a good man" "Buffy I can take care of
you." "Angel we have gone through this before. I can't ask you to give up
everything for me and this child." Angel grabbed Buffy. "We are in this
together even if you do marry him"-
Buffy saw a gas station and pulled in. She picked Emily up and walked
over to the phone booth. "Stay here Em." Buffy dialed Angels number
again. After the Machine picked up she said, "We are in the city limits
so I will call you again in a little bit" Buffy hung up the phone.
Thoughts raced through her head. What if he has moved on and doesn't want
anything to do with me. She picked the phone back up and called her best
friend Willow. "Hello Harris and Rosenberg residence." "Hey Will its
Buffy" "Hey Buffy what's going on." "I am coming into town. Do you
think that it would be okay if me and Emily stayed with you?" "Yeah of
course. But you should know that your sister is here." "Faith." "Yeah
she came in a week ago." "Well sometimes you just have to face your
demons." "Okay we will have a place for you and Emily when you get
here." "Thanks Will it means a lot to me." "Yeah no problem."
-"Faith that's ridiculous. You know that I can't make that. Well what do
you want me to do? I can't just leave Spike and Emily." Buffy held the
phone with a shaken hand. "I am sorry Faith." She listened for a minute.
"Well how about you, Willow, Robin and Xander come see me." After
another moment the tear slide down her face at an alarming rate. "No.
Yes. I don't want to loose you you're my twin sister. If I am gonna have
to choose I have to choose them Faith"-
"Well Munchkin how about we go see Aunt Faith, Aunt Willow and Uncle
Xander?" "The little girls face brightened up. "Yeah!" The two raced
back to the car and got under way. Almost an hour later Buffy read a sign
tat read Welcome to Los Angeles. "Are we there mommy?" "Almost Emmie it
will be just a couple more minutes." The miniature fair-haired child sat
up and looked around excitedly. Buffy steered the car in to the driveway
of a huge mansion. As she parked the car she noticed a tall red haired
female standing on the front porch waiting for them. Buffy helped Emily
out of the car. "Aunt Willow." The little girl ran towards her aunt. "
Hey there Emmie. How is my favorite little girl?" She picked her up and
gave her a hug. "Where is Uncle Xander?" "He is inside cooking dinner.
Does Spaghetti sound good?" "Mmmmmm" "Why don't you go on in and say hi
to Uncle Xander while your mom and I go get you guys stuff." "Okay"
Emily ran in to the house. "So what happened Buffy." Buffy looked at her
best friend. "Oh my goodness are you okay." Willow hugged her friend. "
I'm alright now. I didn't know what to do." Willow nodded. "So after he
beat me I packed up some stuff for me and Em and decided that I would
come here and look for Angel. "Well sweetie you did the right thing by
coming here. Xander and I will take care of you." Buffy nodded. "Well
let's get inside before it starts to rain. The two walked into the house.
Willow took Buffy to the room that her and Emily would be staying in.
(I'm not afraid of anything I just need to know that I can breath I
don't need much of anything But suddenly, suddenly(
"Where is Faith?" "I am right here B" Buffy turned around and looked at
her sister. "I am going to leave you two alone." Willow hugged Buffy
again and left.
(I am small and the world is big All around me is fast moving.
Surrounded by so many things
but suddenly, suddenly (
"Geeze B what happened." "He thought I was screwing around on him and
he beat me." Buffy sat down on her bed. "I didn't want to loose you
Faith, but he wouldn't let me go." Faith walked over to her sister.
(How does it feel, to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it
feel, to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it feel? (
"If I had known Robin and I would have been there in a heartbeat. I
thought I lost you." Faith grabbed her sister's hand.
(I'm young, and I am free But I get tired, and I get weak I get lost, and
I can't sleep But suddenly, suddenly(
"So you came to LA to do what exactly." "Well I came here to look for
Angel." Buffy stood up. "Ok so you're here to find Angel, but what are
you gonna do about things back home." Buffy just shrugged her shoulders.
( How does it feel, to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it
feel, to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it feel? (
"Faith we have had our differences wouldn't you say?" "B. I think that
maybe an understatement. After Mom and Giles died we just drifted apart.
Then I met Robin and you met Spike and that was it."
(Would you come, my head Would you cry with me; Ahh, ahh, ahh-ah ahh,
ahh-ah ahh, ahh-ah ahh, ahh-ah Ahh, ahh, ahh-ah ahh, ahh-ah ahh, ahh-ah
ahh, ahh-ah I am small and the world is big But I'm not afraid of
anything; (
Buffy walked to the window and stared at the rain hitting the ground. "I
was so lost when mom and Giles died. I threw away everything so that I
didn't have to deal with it all."
( How does it feel, to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it
feel, to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it feel,
to be different from me? Are we the same? How does it feel, to be
different from me? Are we the same? (
"Well B we grew up and in different directions. Our whole lives we had
each other and then all the sudden we didn't have very much common
ground." "Buffy started to cry. "Faith I love you." Faith walked up to
her sister and put her head on her shoulder. "I know B. I know." The
heard a gentle knock on the door. It was Xander with Emily in tow. "Just
came up to tell you dinner is done." Emily pushed her way past Xander. "
Mommy what are you doing?" The young girl walked up to her mother. "I
was just talking with Aunt Faith." Emily turned her sights on her aunt. "
Hey there Emmie." Faith scooped Emily in a hug. The group walked
downstairs and the sent of a good home cooked meal smelt so appealing.
The group sat down and after fixing Emily a plate she gave herself a fair
sized plate. After dinner Buffy put Emily down to bed. "Goodnight
sweetie." "Goodnight Mommy." Buffy kissed her daughter on the head.
Buffy went downstairs into the living room. She picked up the phone and
the hung it up again. Come on you can do this its just Angel. She dialed
his number. It rang a couple of times before he picked up. "Hello" Buffy
pressed the phone to her ear "Hey" she said quietly. "Its me." "How
have you been? Where are you. Can I see you?" "I am staying with Willow
and Xander right now but yeah you can see me." "Is he there with you?" "
No I left him." "Well I am on my way right now" "Okay See you when you
get here." She hung up the phone and wrapped her arms around herself.
Xander walked into the room. "You alright Buff?" "Yeah. Angels on his
way" "Okay I will put some coffee" Buffy nodded as she watched Xander
leave the room. She retreated to her position by the window.
-"Mommy you have a letter." "Thanks sweetie." Buffy took the letter
from her daughter and watched her run into the other room to play. She
unfolded the letter and read it.
Dear Buffy,
It's been a couple of months since I heard from you. Are you okay? I
worry about you all the time. I know we agreed that I would keep my
distance but I need you in my life. Wes and Fred say that you are welcome
here at anytime. Maybe it would be for the better if you got a way for a
little bit. Just think about it. I am always here. Buffy I know that you
still love me and I still love you with all my heart. Come back to me
please Angel-
Buffy heard a knock on the door and hurried to get it.
( Spend all your time waiting for that second chance For the break that
will make it OK There's always some reason to feel not good enough And
it's hard at the end of the day I need some distraction or a beautiful
release Memories seep from my veins Let me be empty and weightless and
maybe
I'll find some peace tonight (
There standing in the door way was her Angel soaked from head to toe. "
Come in before you catch a cold." Buffy pulled him inside. When he got in
the house he pulled her into a tight hug.
(In the arms of the Angel far away from here From this dark, cold hotel
room, and the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some
comfort here
"What happened?" She broke away from him. "He found the letter and just
lost it."
(So tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn There's vultures
and thieves at your back The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on
building the lies That you make up for all that you lack It don't make no
difference, escaping one last time It's easier to believe In this sweet
madness, oh this glorious sadness That brings me to my knees (
"I have waited so long to be back in your arms. I never told you this
but there is no where else that feels safer."
(In the arms of the Angel far away from here From this dark, cold hotel
room, and the endlessness that you fear You are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie In the arms of the Angel; may you find some
comfort here You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort
here(
"I have missed you so much Buffy." Buffy smiled and reached up to touch
his face. He brought his face to hears and gave her the most passionate
kiss the world has ever seen. "Do you want to meet her?" "Of course."
The couple walked up the stairs and Buffy opened the door to her room.
There Angel saw Emily sleeping on the bed. "That's our little Angel"
Angel looked at Buffy and she nodded. "My little Emily" Buffy walked up
to Angel and put her hand in his. With that gesture she knew that her
pain and suffering were all over for her. Her Guardian Angel was with her
once again.