Summary:
Voldemort is back. Severus is only able to follow his call hours later; and for that he will be punished. Still, he refuses to scream. But why?
Rating: T (please do tell if you don't find this suitable)
Warning:
Torture, child abuse
This story might contain spoilers for those who don't know yet with whom Severus sides.
Author's Note:
Please note that this is my first (published) story, so please show some mercy.
All sentences that are written in italics are memories of Severus.
Thanks to MiaOfficial for translating this story!
Disclaimer:
Everything, that in some way sounds like JK Rowling (Characters, plot, dialogues etc.) belongs to her.
The mistakes (spelling, grammar, whatever) are mine, though. So, if you find some which escaped me, please send them back. I'll care for them.
Silent Agony
When Severus felt the Dark Mark burn, he knew that the Dark Lord was back. He also knew that he couldn't follow his call right now. And he knew what consequences this refusal would bring.
After leaving the infirmary he hurried down the path to the forbidden forest. Surely his punishment would be worse and worse the longer he let Voldemort wait. Still, he halted for just a second to lean against an old tree in the midst of the forbidden forest.
Severus inhaled deeply. Why was it always he same?
He didn't want to go back home knowing all too well what would await him there. But the sun was already set just above the horizon. If he came home after nightfall, he would only make his father more furious. And if he couldn't escape him anyway, he could just get it over with already.
As a silent sigh left his lips he emptied his mind of every single emotion and tried to prepare for the torture that surely was to come. Then he apparated to his loathed master.
"Crucio!"
The curse hit him before he could even take in his surroundings. He fell to the ground but didn't make a sound.
The pain was terrible, nearly unbearable, but nothing new for Severus. Grinding his teeth and pressing his lips together to suppress any sounds that might threaten to escape his lungs, he waited until it finally stopped and the pain subsided.
Finally, Voldemort lifted the curse. Severus, though, didn't move from his position, lying before his master, shaking and breathing heavily.
"How dare you, leaving me waiting for hours!" the Dark Lord hissed. Severus wasn't so stupid as to justify his actions. Voldemort didn't care if Severus would betray himself by abruptly disappearing. If he called his, servants had to appear. Immediately.
"Excuse me, my Lord." Severus finally managed, his voice barely more than a whisper.
" And what exactly does your apology change about your tardiness?" Voldemort spat, his wrath all too distinct in his ice cold voice.
"Crucio!" Another curse hit him. It felt like a dozen of flaming knifes were piercing his body.
After what felt like an eternity Voldemort granted him a short break.
"I'd already thought you betrayed me. You can call yourself lucky that I didn't kill you right away!" Voldemort stalked around his servant, his pace ever so slowly.
Severus gasped for air, the curse having driven out all the air from his lungs. Squeezing his eyes shut he tried to drive the pain out of his nervous system.
"Have you lost the last bit of your decency? Look at me when I'm talking to you!"
Reluctantly, he opened his eyes and looked straight into the furious, red pupils of his former master. At the same time he practised occlumency, renewing the shield around his mind.
Suddenly another cruciatus curse hit his body. Every single one of his many scars felt like it was being ripped open all over again. An all too familiar burning sensation spread out over his back.
"I want to hear you scream when I am punishing you. How else am I going to know that you regret your mistakes?" Voldemort snarled during his next short pause. "Apparently you need to be given another lesson."
A lesson, Severus had already learned enough of those in his life. One of the first was not to scream, no matter what happened.
Severus was young, no older than six. It was the middle of the night and at the moment he was still asleep in the cellar, lying on a thin mattress, a holey blanket that was draped over his tiny body being the only protection from the cold.
He didn't hear his father come home, drunk. He slowly gained consciousness as his father came down the steps. He fully jerked awake as the door flew open with a loud bang. But it was already too late to hide.
The obnoxious stench of alcohol filled the room. Severus curled up in a frightful position, knowing how his father behaved in such an inebriated state. He had seen what the man had done to his mother.
"WAKE UP, BOY!" his father screamed, taking off his belt and stumbling toward his son, who curled up and hugged himself even tighter, trying to escape his father.
"No, father, please don't!" came his silent, begging response. By now Severus had turned toward the wall and put his arms protectively over his head.
"BE QUIET!" the belt hit the now unprotected back of the boy, who screamed in agony.
"I SAID, BE QUIET!" another blow to his back, Severus bit down on his lip so hard that it started to bleed but couldn't suppress a tiny whimper.
"YOU. DISGRACE. OF. A. SON" Every syllable was punctuated by another hard beating of his father.
To deepen Severus' understanding of his lesson, his father added at least ten more lashes to his sons back before leaving his crying child in the cellar without uttering another word.
From that moment on Severus never screamed again. Not when his father almost beat him to death half a year later. Not when Lupin almost killed him that night in the Shrieking Shack. Not even when he received the cruciatus curse for the very first time.
And he certainly would not make a sound now. He'd rather die than show a single sign of pain or weakness. He wouldn't give Voldemort a reason to torture him even more.
"Crucio!"