"Can I come with you?"
Cisco pauses at the door—
Says, "If you want to."
.
They walk in silence
As the wind chill sinks to ten.
Cisco leads the way.
.
Barry trails until
The slightest shiver draws the
Coat from his shoulders.
.
"Take it," he insists,
"I don't need it anymore."
He isn't lying.
.
After the lightning
Barry became a hero.
Cisco – something else.
.
The algorithm
Steals his sleep, insisting that
Bad days are ahead.
.
(Preponderance: noun
The quality of being
Greater in number
.
Like flies on a run.
Caitlin says, "Correlation"
Cisco: "More factors."
.
There are too many
Ways it can go wrong; as if
He's destined for it.
.
He'd voice his fears, but
In the silence he worries
Someday they'll come true.)
.
. o .
.
The meeting is long.
It must get on Barry's nerves.
Sitting for so long.
.
The meeting proceeds
Some tragedies are too great
To speak of alone.
.
They ask Cisco if
He wants to speak on Dante's
Behalf—he declines.
.
What else can he say?
I miss him more than my life
Morning, day, and night.
.
I never told him
How much I admired his
Strength and will to live.
.
I resented him
I despised him at times. Yet—
We were brothers, too.
.
Loneliness eats me
Alive, like I am a shell
Of who I once was.
.
I can remember
His favorite color, his
Favorite season
.
The sound of his laugh,
The way he made Mama smile,
Papa's robust praise.
.
"Dante!" they'd exclaim
"Beautiful boy! Cherished one!
"Our first and foremost."
.
He did everything
Played the piano, loved songs
Moved the world to tears.
.
Oxymoron: a
Contradiction of being.
"Dante died last night."
.
My heart stopped; my blood
Would not carry a pulse; my
Breath stuck in my chest.
.
I waited five hours
For him to come home, texting
"¿Por dónde andas?"
.
What happens when your
Brother dies? Are you still your
Parents' youngest son?
.
He was there every
Day of my life; I wanted
To be there for his.
.
It should've lasted.
No one should have to die at
Thirty-three years old.
.
He had a good life.
The past tense is worse each time.
He was a good man.
.
They ask again: "Speak
On behalf of your brother
If it pleases you."
.
Nothing ever could.
But for them, he tries. For them
He says, "I miss him.
.
"I miss him like you
Would miss your own name, were it
Taken from your soul.
.
"I miss him like you
Would miss your shadow, surplus
Until you need it.
.
"I miss him like you
Would miss your favorite song;
Your favorite book.
.
"We were meant to be
Together for the rest of
Our lives. I want more.
.
"I want one more day
Another hour with him.
One more second, please.
.
"I don't know what I
Would trade for just one minute
Everything is fair.
.
"I miss him," Cisco
Laments, covering his eyes.
"I miss him so much."
.
Barry puts a hand
On Cisco's shoulder; leaves it
There as Cisco weeps.
.
At last they leave with
A prayer for the deceased: May
Their souls rest in peace.
.
. o .
.
It would be faster
To run home; warmer; simpler.
Nothing is simple.
.
Barry's coat is just
Enough to fend off the wind.
It's what Cisco needs.
.
There is a weight to
Barry's presence that allows
Cisco to endure.
.
It is I am here.
It is I am here for you.
It is I'm sorry.
.
. o .
.
Home is familiar
Paired with unfamiliar things
Like Barry's Flash boots
.
In the entryway;
Barry's imprint all over
The coffee table.
.
Even the couch bears
Barry's scent; the kitchen is
A mixture of them.
.
Pancakes Cisco loves;
Enough bacon to feed a
Small revolution.
.
Fridge fuller than a
Frat house on homecoming night
Stacked sky high with eggs.
.
Cupboards full: cornflakes
Cinnamon, sugar; berries,
Apricots, Poptarts.
.
A half-finished list
Grows daily by the dozen
Thank God for coupons.
.
(Cisco's pockets are
Only so deep: free food is
Their bread and butter.
.
Restaurants love to
Serve The Flash; The Flash eats free
Monday to Sunday.)
.
Those coffee cup stains
That drive Caitlin bananas
Don't bother Barry.
.
Few things do: lightning
Is Barry's compass. Lightning
Doesn't mind chaos.
.
Chaos is lived-in
Chaos is how Cisco feels
"You don't smile a lot."
.
Barry's coat ends on
The floor; Barry's boots - the door.
Barry doesn't mind.
.
Barry gives him space
Wandering upstairs; Cisco
Finally exhales.
.
It's exhausting to
Come home from a meeting and
Know he has to live.
.
He can't change his life
With a snap of his fingers.
He has to live it.
.
He can't save Dante.
He can't save Dante. He can't—
It eats him alive.
.
He follows Barry
Upstairs, taking refuge in
Unoccupied space.
.
Barry's room is a
Clusterfuck of unpacked things,
Living in limbo.
.
Transient, it warns:
Don't get attached; I won't be
Staying much longer.
.
Cisco wants to say
Mi casa es tu casa.
He keeps his silence.
.
Cisco picks up an
Old picture on the nightstand
Team Flash is all smiles.
.
It makes something deep
In his soul ache for a time
Before time travel.
.
The first rule of time
Travel is Be careful: you
Only get one shot.
.
Cisco looks around
And sees a life built upon
Temporal debris.
.
(Loneliness: noun, the
Feeling of being alone,
Apart from the world.
.
How many timelines
Separate their origins
Twenty? Ten-thousand?)
.
Barry walks into
The room, looking exactly
Like Cisco expects.
.
He's tall, lean and full
Of hidden strength; a force of
Nature on his own.
.
Golden eyes, golden
Heart. Easy gait, easy gaze.
Cisco's heart beats fast.
.
(He dreams about it:
How a speedster killed him in
Another lifetime.
.
He thinks Barry would
Never hurt me. Tell that to
The day- and nightmares.)
.
Barry's posture is
Subdued, slouched shoulders, bent head:
All, I come in peace.
.
Cisco thinks I'm in
Your space. But it's all his home.
Barry's presence stains.
.
Their life is a war
Of conflicting interests
Come here, but don't stay.
.
Cisco thinks about
What forgiveness would feel like
How much it would hurt.
.
He asks Dante's ghost
To guide him, to give him strength,
To give him the words.
.
"I'm sorry," Barry
Says. "I'm so sorry." Cisco
Wants to believe it.
.
"Change it," he commands,
"If you're so sorry." A stab
Would hurt less than this.
.
Barry backs down and
Cisco can almost see him
Accept the wrong choice.
.
Then he says, "Okay"
And a thrill of fear and joy
Sweeps over Cisco.
.
Barry straightens, a
Hint of steel amid all that
Gold. He asks, "You sure?"
.
Never more, Cisco
Thinks, heart in his throat because
Barry takes his hand.
.
Barry says, "Trust me."
Cisco wants to respond, "How?"
He closes his eyes.
.
The world does not break
It disappears. Barry's hand
Is Cisco's anchor.
.
He knows the feel of
Speed Force, even if there is
Nothing to ground him.
.
Then he hears a voice
From the darkness, a laugh he
Knows, pain in his chest.
.
"Hermano!" Dante
Rejoices. "Hermano! It's
You! Paco! Paco!"
.
The bear hug is tight
Cisco wants to cry. Barry
Keeps a hand on him.
.
Don't go far, he says
Without saying anything
Or you will fall down.
.
Cisco wants to ask
"Where to?" But he is sobbing
Into Dante's chest.
.
"I missed you," he says
"I missed you, I missed you, I –"
Dante holds him tight.
.
The hand on his back
Is a constant reminder
That this is a dream.
.
A slow waking dream,
The good kind, the one where he
Doesn't want to leave.
.
For a century
They hold on to each other
Like a dying wish.
.
Cisco cannot speak.
He waited forever for
This moment to come.
.
Reunion: noun; brought
Together by chance, purpose,
Simple good fortune.
.
Barry speaks to Flash
Apologizing, thanking
Promising penance.
.
To Cisco, it's not
A concern. Prometheus
Has a stronger back.
.
He holds onto his
Brother for as long as the
Universe allows.
.
It is more patient
Than Cisco expects, more kind
Than he can endure.
.
Dante just hugs him
A golden glow Cisco knows
Mantles his shoulders.
.
"I'm okay," he says,
"I'm okay." Cisco holds on
Memorizing him.
.
When at last his breath
Returns, he pulls back and says,
"I love you so much."
.
"I never told you
How much you mattered to me.
Then it was too late.
.
"I was young, and I
Rejected the chance to be
Your brother, proper.
.
"The night you died—" He
Shudders, momentarily
Stilled. "I thought I had."
.
"I got the phone call
Just after midnight. There was
A bad accident."
.
"You didn't make it."
Dante holds him at arm's length.
Barry holds him back.
.
"They pronounced you dead
At the scene. They told me it
That it was painless."
.
"Was it?" Cisco asks,
The lump in his throat trying
To suffocate him.
.
Dante pulls him close.
"Hermano," he says, "my death
Does not change me now."
.
"I am well," Dante
Declares, speaking on behalf
Of himself at last.
.
Cisco nods, rushing
Nothing, letting himself be
Happy for a change.
.
It is joyful here.
Addictively safe, at peace.
Dante belongs here.
.
"May the Speed Force be
With you," Cisco says, from half
A lifetime ago.
.
Dante ruffs his hair
Affectionate disrepair.
"Be well," he counsels.
.
The Ghost steps forward
And Dante partially turns.
"Will you be okay?"
.
Cisco can see the
Way they collaborate, like
Family across worlds.
.
Does Flash get lonely?
Cisco doesn't know. But he
Knows that it's farewell.
.
Barry's hand never
Leaves his back, a reminder.
You have to come home.
.
There is so much that
Cisco wants to ask. But he
Refrains. It can wait.
.
Speed Force is always.
As long as Barry is there
Then he can come back.
.
Knowing that it's not
The end makes it possible
To nod and let go.
.
. o .
.
Turquoise stars blink as
They settle down in the grass.
Cisco breathes deeply.
.
Barry lets go and
Cisco turns to face him. There
Are tears on his face.
.
"I can't change it," he
Says. "I'm sorry. I'm so sor—"
Cisco kisses him.
.
Barry freezes. Then
He melts into it, cupping
Cisco's face, relieved.
.
It's Speed Force, Cisco
Justifies. It's the lightning.
It's being alive.
.
It's something about
The universe wants us to
Be bros. It's Dante.
.
It's achingly sweet.
It's exactly what he needs.
It's Barry. It's Flash.
.
Barry took something
Irreplaceable from him
Then he gave it back.
.
It'll hurt when the
Euphoria wears off and
The morning sun comes.
.
But Cisco missed this,
His best friend, his above all.
He missed being loved.