This little idea moved into my head today and for some reason decided to take a more permanent residency than others of its kind. I present to you: What Is This, An Unoriginal and Lazily Written Crossover Episode?

Over the clinking of utensils and dishware that permeated throughout the old diner, Nicholas Wilde's voice carried like a siren's call, luring all those within earshot to his presence and enthralling them with his charm and wit. Despite the hustle and bustle of the overworked servicemammals each trying to earn their college tuition, the fox was experienced when it came to speaking over busy crowds. Yes, Wilde was the type of fox that could easily maintain an audible volume without ever letting it become too audible- otherwise his recent yet vicious mockery of the overcompensating tiger at the far side of the restaurant could have earned him more than just a few chuckles. He was kinda skilled like that; a little fact of which he would never fail to remind you.

"... So that's when I said, 'Who cares; just give me the rope already!'"

Judy groaned in response to the punchline of Nick's "true" story. She wanted to tell him off for his boasting, but his little congregation was eating it up as if were the most captivating thing in the world, and Judy was never the type to interrupt anyone's fun- that is, as long as it was legal. Besides, Nick's stories would often involve detailed descriptions and Judy's bravery and skill as a cop, so after all the shit she had to go through as the world's first rabbit officer she felt that she deserved a bit of ass-kissing every once and a while. Even then, she would have to interject her point of view into the stories to make sure mammals gave Nick the credit he deserved, too: after all, was it not Nick who had come up with the plan to put blueberries in Bellwether's custom-manufactured nighthowler pistol during the chase at the Natural History Museum? Was it not Nick who later casually suggested in the middle of Bogo's annual safety lecture (much to the buffalo's great annoyance) that the Armaments Dpt. try to replicate Bellwether's design, which in turned insured the ZPD a more effective and ethical solution to administrating TranQ to aggressive criminals from a safe distance? Was it not Nick who risked life and limb to use said pistol to save Judy's skin a total of three times already while on the beat? Was it not Nick who-

Judy was shaken out of her musings when she realised that she had been asked a question by a member of the small audience that had gathered around them. She briefly cursed both Nick's charm for attracting these people and her own social ineptitude for not being able to interact with any of them as she stammered out a brief response to the vixen that Judy assumed had been the source of the interruption.

"Y-yes, it's true." Judy, you are one smooth bunny

A collection of bemused expressions and sympathetic looks went through the crowd. Judy's brain, which finally caught up to her, immediately set every switch to 'panic' as she realised that it would have been a better idea to admit that she was spacing out than to admit to whatever the heck she had just been asked. Horrified, she looked up to Nick, sitting next to her with tears leaking out of his eyes as he tried to repress a laugh that threatened to shred the last pieces of the rabbit's dignity.

"What? What?! Nick, what did I just admit to?" Oh lord, she thought, it had nothing to do with her and Nick, right? Their relationship was still casual and she didn't just make it awkward, right?!

"Relax, 'Jude the Dude,' no one's said anything."

Oh.

Oh no.

Not only did Nick somehow figure out that archaic and downright demeaning nickname from her youth, but now eight whole other strangers now knew? She could see the tabloids now: "Officer JUDE Hopps? Find Out The Inside Scoop On How This Once Inspiring Doe Turned Buck!" or "Watch as Stupid Bitch Fox Lady #SpillstheBeans on Last Night's Embarrassing Bunny Blunder" Her eyes narrowed as she saw that same attractive vixen bitch that asked her the question and how buddy-buddy she was getting with Judy's Best Friend in the World: Mr. Nicholas Wilde, ZPD (You're Welcome For That Badge by the way). What had previously been obscure was now clear: that vixen wanted to be with Nick. and was just using Judy's distraction as a stepping stone! Judy decided she wasn't hungry anymore, and the group's jovial mirth turned into open ridicule within her ears. She hopped down from the stool, grabbed her coat, and immediately took off into the night air-

-and just as quickly regretted it. The freezing air instantly sobered her heated head, allowing her to figure out what had just happened. Tabloids? 'Fox bitch?' What rational part of her mind thought that those eight mammals cared enough about a silly nickname to try and generate drama about her? Oh lord, did she just get mad at Nick for cracking a joke? That was Nick's defining characteristic; their entire relationship was built upon the witty banter they shared with one another. How could she get mad at him for that? This was supposed to be a night out between friends and she probably just ruined it. Good one, Judy, she thought, bitterly. Real smooth. However, determined to never let a mistake go uncorrected, Judy sped back to the diner at a brisk pace to hopefully catch Nick for an apology before he left.

She was back at the entrance when someone stepped out of the shadows of the parking lot. As the light from the diner spilled out of the windows onto the pavement below, it illuminated the stranger's face. It was red and sharp, matched with beautiful emerald eyes that were saturated with concern.

"O-oh. Nick.

"Look, Nick, I'm sorry that I stormed out of the restaurant like that, I-I just got really flustered about my childhood nickname and, in an ironic turn of events, lashed out in an incredibly immature manner. I now understand you were just picking on me because you somehow learned my old nickname which I'm still curious about but I blamed that poor vixen and she probably doesn't even know who I am and I got mad at her because I thought she wanted to replace me as your friend because I assumed she wanted to get close to someone famous to become famous herself and because of that I thought she'd tell the Midnight Star that my parents still call me 'Jude The Dude' in public and because of that it's somehow proof that I'm still just a carrot farming bunny and everyone that reads it would would make fun of me and my family despite them being good people in their hearts even if they tend to get overbearing and-"

"Hopps, remember to breathe."

"Oh, sorry Nick." She inhales. "Whew. Okay.

"Reacting based on emotion instead of logic was most unlike me, Nick, and I'm sorry that you had to see me embarrassing myself like that."

A beat passed before Nick's trademark smirk returned.

"Alright, Carrots, here's the deal:" he bent down and pulled out something from behind his back, "I came out here to find you and tell you that you forgot to grab these earmuffs for your sensitive and floppy bunny ears-"

Judy interrupted him by hastily grabbing her earmuffs back from him. I'm sorry for making you feel humiliated in public

"-and also that I took your leftovers; which, might I add, so kind of you to have left them behind for me- very thoughtful. Otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to put them into this convenient styrofoam container for safekeeping, and you know how much I love second-hand food. I was gonna eat it myself, but since you're here, I wouldn't want to make you feel left out."

Judy took the food box in her paws and slowly met his eyes. I'm sorry that I ruined your appetite and interrupted our night off-duty

Nick, however, continued right on in his classically facetious way, "Still and all, while you're busy internalising your eternal gratitude towards me, I yet sit here, worse for the wear. My fancy dinner night has been tragically cut short, Carrots, what ever am I to do? Now, I was considering going home by myself, reheating this cold food in a microwave and putting on some recent blockbuster- I was thinking maybe that new Captain Zootopia or Deadpoodle- but if you feel the absolute need to externalize some of that aforementioned gratitude, you're welcome to join me. Oh!- I hear Nutflix has the rights to show Arrestud Antelopement*, which is absolutely insane because I was actually on that show. But hey, that's only if you're willing to pay off any part of the gratitude you still owe me; which, as we clarified earlier-"

Judy cocked her head, "I'm sorry, what was that?"

"Oh, right, your eternal gratitude towards me. Color me surprised: I didn't realise that you could internalise it so well that you would have forgotten it had even existed. Well, if you'd like, I know some great therapists that would just love to-"

"Not that part, asshole." Judy give him a light punch on the arm, trying and subsequently failing to appear irritated at him. "Alright, fine, let's go watch this stupid show of yours."

Nick responded with a self-satisfied look before taking off in the direction of his house. "Sure thing, darlin'. One underappreciated series coming right up!"

Judy quickly followed suit, grateful that Nick had forgiven her so quickly for causing such a scene over such a trivial gag. Maybe she should see an expert about her fears of failure some time soon, but she quickly decided that it could wait. Right now, Judy wanted nothing more than respite from the cold night air and a silly show to watch with her best friend in the whole world. Judy's thoughts were interrupted when she noticed Nick was eyeing her.

"You know," Nick slowly began once he realised he'd been caught, "You looked absolutely adorable when you stormed out of the diner in a blind rage."

Judy looked blankly at him for a split second before she returned a sly glance in his direction.

"You know," she started, "I should definitely be warning you that bunnies don't tend to like it when non-bunnies call them 'adorable' and whatnot."

"Yes," came the snappy reply. "You definitely should."
_

*Author's note: kill me

Well, that ends 'chapter' 1 of the first fanfic I've ever written. I've never even written greens before, so I really want your criticisms so that I can improve. Don't think of me as a writer, think of me as some dick that wants attention. As for how this story's gonna go: I just hope I don't decide to write adultery or suicide into my first fanfic ever.

But, yes, this going to be a crossover fic. I certainly don't know how it'll turn out, but we'll see when we get there.