Everyone's favorite immortal, blood-thirsty (pun intended) National Socialists end up in Remnant for reasons unknown, and some of them have been slightly altered. I'm sure everything will turn out fine. Can't you just taste the sarcasm from that sentence? I know I can.
Hellsing is owned by Kouta Hirano and Studio Madhouse, and RWBY is owned by Roosterteeth.
If not for the agonizing headache, the Captain would have already picked his large form up from the scrap pile. If it was up to him, he wouldn't have allowed such a nuisance to compromise him. He would've already located his allies and did his part to assess the situation. As it was, the nuisance in question had dulled his senses and rendered him practically immobile, with the junk pile seemingly trying to swallow him as it had the floor.
Yes these next few minutes were not ideal for the Captain.
Eventually, the minor offense began to subside. Though, to the Captain's dismay, was quickly replaced. And by one much worse, in the form of a certain threat to his sanity and the sanity of his colleagues.
"Oh, mien head hurts."
Schrodingar, the Captain mentally sighed.
Due to his recent headache, the Captain had been completely unaware of the cat-boy's presence. He had apparently been rendered unconscious in the same room. The poor Captain swore internally, for if he would have noticed Schrodingar earlier, he would've most certainly left as soon as possible. As it stands, he has to deal with this.
The Captain left his thoughts as Schrodingar struggled to stand, his balance thrown off by the floor of scrap. The cat-boy's victory was short lived, as he learned jumping up in celebration does nothing for balancing issues. The boy came crashing down, his head landing on an object that was both stationary and not made of metal.
Schrodingar let out an "umph" as he made contact. The Captain mentally sighed yet again. He felt no pain from the fall, only utter disappointment in his fellow Millennium soldier. It would not be the first time.
Turning around, curious as to what spared him pain, the cat-boy quickly shuffled away on his hands and knees. "Ey, vho are you? How did you get onto zhe ship?", he demanded.
The Captain shifted to his left side and raised his torso partially, supporting himself with his arm. He starred at the boy for a good long while, eyebrow raised in an 'are you serious' manner perfectly matching his current mood. " Vell, speak up.", the cat-boy continued.
The Captain sighed. Sometimes, Schrodingar could surpass all expectations regarding the disappointment he could bring. Truly. The Captain spotted his signature hat below him. Breathing a sigh of relief, he grabbed his most prized possession and secured it on it's rightful spot. He was not unaware of how odd the room appeared ( initial destruction and clutter aside) nor of how loose his jaket felt around his arms. However, that could've been attributed to his current state. So the Captain chose to make a mental note of these issues, and focused on the idiot at hand. Starring at Schrodingar, the Captain felt a wave of relief as the cat-boy's face dawned a look of realization.
"Herr Captain? I-Is zhat you?" Schrodingar barly stuttered out.
The Captain was very put off by this. Sure, Schrodingar was a moron, but if he had to ask that, something was wrong. As the boy picked up a conveniently placed hand mirror, the now concerned Captain shot to his feet near instantly, and swiped the object immediately. What he saw had stopped his thought process in one moment, and nearly made him unconscious in the next.
The face he had gotten used to for over a century had seemed alien to him. His features seemed less defined, as if someone had gone and smoothed them out. His eyes looked bigger, and the weariness carried with them had all but vanished. Any faint scars he had were gone. And to top it off, his hair beneath his hat had gotten noticeably shorter. Recalling the mental note from earlier, he how loose his coat was.
If the Captain didn't know better, he would've said he looked younger.
He glanced down at Schrodingar, the cat-boy's ears lowered, reflecting the fear and concern present on his face. The Captain dropped the mirror, and helped the boy to his feet. Pointing at a conveniently located sign, the boy understood immediately. "Ya, let us go find Herr Doctor. He can find out what's wrong with you.",he stated.
The pair of Nazis left the room for the main laboratory, the destroyed state of their zeppelin base only being their second priority.
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Any concerns the pair had for the good Doctor were thrown out when they heard the very girly screaming coming from their destination. It came as no surprise that the main lab was in a similar state to the rest of what the two had seen. Walls torn up, lights barly hanging on the celling, cabenits fallen, ground cluttered with scrap and now garbage. The only thing of note besides the abundance of crumbled and shredded paper, was a gooy mess of green covering every other spot in the room. Well, that and one very sad doctor in the middle of it all; crouched into fetal position on the floor, untouched by the gooy mess. In fact, all that he got from this ordeal was a slightly ruffled lab coat and a pair of dented six lens spectacles that still managed to obscure his eyes, though they could not conceal the obvious tears traveling down his face.
While the Captain grabbed the bridge of his nose, Schrodingar walked slowly towards the Doctor, cautiously placing his hand out. "Herr Doctor?", Schrodingar asked quietly and slowly, as if fearing to break a fragile piece of glass.
"Mien research! Mien notes! Mien latest experiments! Mien newest project! Mein personal space! Ruined! Aaaahhh!"
Schrodingar leapt back in suprise at the Doctor's outburst, landing on his butt. The Doctor kept stammering in a hushed tone.
The Captain finally had enough funny business for one day. Walking up to the broken mess, picked him up by the collar, and proceeded to slap him around. He knew it may have been a few to many, but he needed stress relief.
"Ow, ow, ow, ok, ow, I've stopped!", the Doctor complained. With that, the Captain halted the assult on the poor Doctor's face, and released him.
When he regained his composer, he realized who had come into his now destroyed laboratory. "Oh, Herr Captain, Schrodingar, you are alright. Please tell noone of mien embarrassing moment back there.",the Doctor pleaded.
"I don't know. Vhat's in it for me?", Schrodingar inquired with a sly smirk. A quick elbow to the gut from his commanding officer set him straight.
"Right, right, ve seem to have a problem."
"Oh, I didn't notice.", the Doctor shot at his creation.
"No, not the Zeppelin. It's Herr Captain." the boy corrected. "Just look."
Moving his gaze towards the man in the green coat, the Doctor got a better look at his associate, and instantly saw the problem.
"Zhat is a cause for concern. But we can't address it now. There is a much bigger matter ve have to consider. Und besides, mien lab is in shambles. I can do nothing about that right now." the Doctor stated.
"Well, zen vhat must we do, Herr Doctor."
"We must get ze crew organized und prepared. To do Zhat, we must find zhe Major.", the Doctor instructed.
Schrodingar deadpanned at that. "This ist a giant ship, how are ve supposed to-" Schrodingar was cut off by a voice over the intercom, which surprised everyone at how it was still functional.
"Attention, Attention. Will zhe members of the Werewolves please report to zhe conference room. All other personal please report to the flight deck for a mission update vhem I am finished. Thank you."
The Captain stared at Schrodingar, only to point at yet another conveniently placed sign. Specifically at the words conference room. At least he got some enjoyment out of this. It is not as if there was any way this day could get weider.
Page Break
Apparently, there was.
Upon leaving the Doctor's Lab, the heard a footsteps coming from the direction of the room The Captain and Schrodingar had awoken in. An as it turned out, their comrade 1st Lt. Zorin Blitz had suffered a similar fate to the Captain. She seemed shorter, had less scars ( though one could hardly tell with her tattoos covering her face), and to her dismay, her muscles shrank slightly. Her female assets had also suffered a shrinkage, but only Schrodingar pointed this out. It did not end well for the cat-boy.
They had entered the conference room, and were joined by Rip Van Winkle, who made Zorin and the Captain's predicament all the more unbearable. The teasing was brought to a halt by none other than the Major.
"Mien helpful advisors. I know how bad our situation seems, we shouldn't despair. Zhis whole crash could've ended worse. We could have landed in the ocean, or directly into the waiting jaws of Hellsing, und by extension, Alucard. Instead, we are here, in the middle of nowhere, with no one to blow our cover, and all of our soldiers accounted for. So, as the say, count your blessings."
All present in the conference room were dumbstruck. The Doctor then voiced everyone's opinion. " Herr Major, You are awfully cheerful. Aren't you at all angry at this?"
"Oh, blindingly so. But as I have stated, this could have turned out worse. Und besides…" the Major pressed a button, and a screen emerged from the wall behind him. He stood up and off to the side to give his comrades a better view, and to watch along. "We may have been given a grand opportunity." the screen came to life, and there was only gray with the words no signal. " Vhat are we supposed to be looking at, Major?", Rip asked with complete confusion. "Zhat, my dear, is our map." the Major responded with a smile. Zorin, in her slightly higher than normal voice, voiced her concerns. " But, zhere ist nothing." The Major smiled wider. "Correct. This system can retrive a strong satellite signal from anywhere above ground. We can also hack almost any satellite, so this should not be happening." Concern for the Majors sanity ( or what was left of it) went down at that. " Also, I have sent my scouts ahead an hour ago; they came back with these." As he finished, the image cut to one of creatures. They appeared to be black wolves, but they were too big. They also stood on two legs, and appeared to be wearing masks and growing spikes from their body. The Doctor squealed, ecstatic at the opportunity for new test subjects and study material. The Captain was intrigued. They were possibly Werewolves. He may not be alone. "Are they werewolves?" Schrodingar questioned, reflecting the Captain's thoughts. "I thought that as well. " the Major stated. "But then we have these." As he finished, he began going through more images of animals. One by one, bears, boars, snakes, even giant birds. All of them with similarly colored and designed as the wolves. " What are these animals, and why has noone discovered them in today's world? But there is one more thing." The Major brought out a cigar box, and motioned for his subordinates to gather around. He opened it when they gathered, and inside were some red crystals. "What is so important about these?" Schrodingar thought out loud. The Major said nothing as he picked one up and chucked it at the door on the opposite side of the room. Needless to say, no one save the Major was expecting a torrent of flames to erupted where the impact occurred. The Doctor was having a field day. " Mien Got, the sheer implications of this… Herr Major, you must tell me where these crystals were found." "All in good time, but first we must address our location." Pausing for dramatic effect, the fat man concluded with "With the evidence gathered, I believe we are in a completely different world."
And done.
Ok, a couple of things. I wrote this in an afternoon so it may not be the best. I just needed to get it out of my head. I've become a fan of Hellsing lately, thanks to Team Four Star's abridged series, and I've been thinking there aren't enough of these Hellsing crossover fics, mainly with Millennium.
The spelling mistakes in the dialogue where intentional, as to convey a German accent. If a lot of people hate it, I will stop.
Also, for the few of you who read my story The Bones of Scourge, I apologize for the description. It was late at night, and I wanted sleep. I will fix it when I get my next chapter in.
And much like that story, I will take any help I can get. I don't have as clear of a direction as I would like.
That's all.