Oh, geez. I'm actually writing a fanfiction with actual chapters that isn't in the format of some lousy advertisement or messed up chatroom this time! I'm sorry. I haven't written seriously in a looooong time. I'm out of practice. Then again, I still didn't write seriously... I think I have a really bad problem there. I have a habit to ramble and add useless and unfunny jokes...

Now, a Harvest Moon fanfiction? That's new. Well, my obsession with Dynasty Warriors has actually faded somewhat (a lot, actually), and I've like Harvest Moon for a while now and still do. And I like Vocaloid, but that's beside the point.

I kinda stole some of the material from the game. You know, to make it accurate. Don't hate me, please!

With aching muscles, Claire tiredly stumbled through her front door. She pulled off her backpack and dropped it next to the door as she shut it with her foot.

"I'm home!" she called out as she pulled off her jacket. She paused, knowing that there wouldn't be any response. Of course, she was right. It'd be creepy if she wasn't because that would mean that something got into her house while she wasn't home.

"I live by myself," she said out loud to herself, "so of course there is no reply. Ordinary day after ordinary day… I get up in the morning, go to work as usual, eat, sleep…"

Claire sighed. Sometimes, when she was particularly depressed and lonely, she talked to herself as if introducing her life story to another person. It didn't actually help. It made her feel worse and like she was borderline crazy or something.

Claire staggered towards her room, still mumbling to herself. "Everyday… The same pattern…"

When was the last time she did something different from her normal schedule? She couldn't even remember. She had to work, so she never went places. She couldn't afford vacations, and she didn't have a boyfriend. In fact, she didn't have any friends at all. Ever since she entered her state of bored depression, she was completely avoided at work.

"Isn't there anything exciting in the world?" she asked no one in particular. Life was so boring, so monotonous.

"I guess not…" she moaned to herself as she lowered herself in a chair in the kitchen, in front of the newspaper she had left there that morning.

"Well, I have to work again tomorrow." Claire glanced at the time. It was getting late, and she would have to get to bed soon if she wanted (pfft) to get up in time for work the next day. "I guess I'll read the paper and go to bed."

The blonde young lady flipped through the newspaper. "What's going on in the world…?" She passed numerous articles, most of them boring, before an ad caught her eye.

"Oh? What's this?"

It read:

Would you like to enjoy a peaceful and refreshing farm life?

For more information, contact:

x(203) 783-9812x

A farm? Claire knew that a farm would obviously be hard work, but… She could see herself taking care of cows, playing with the farm animals, relaxing in a large field… It wasn't that unrealistic was it? And it would be more exciting than this life in the city.

Right away, Claire jumped up. This was her saviour! Her passageway out of her dull life. Her way out of working and being depressed for the rest of her life!

"This is it!" She shouted it to herself. Who cared if she disturbed the neighbours? Screw the neighbours! "Something exciting!"

Claire dashed to her room and picked up the phone. She didn't even need to double check the number – it was already burned into her mind, along with the rest of the ad.

Pi pa pi po…

"Hello? Is this MT Realtor? I'm calling about the farm…"

It was a mess. There were stones and branches covering the field, as if some moron decided that it would be fun to take a bunch of crap off the floor of a forest and dump it on the farmland. Every spot of soil not swathed in sticks and stones was stuffed with assaulting weeds.

Claire sighed. This farm business was going to be a lot harder than she originally thought. She knew growing crops and taking care of animals was going to be hard work, but now it seemed that cleaning up the field was going to be the hardest part.

Claire couldn't believe the stupid MT Realtor people tricked her, and she couldn't believe she bought the stupid farm. She had even moved from her apartment, quit her job, and bought farm tools, and now she was almost broke.

"Hello. Are you a tourist?"

Claire jumped in surprise. She turned towards the source of the voice and found a short and fat man with a large brown moustache and glasses wearing a silly red top hat and blazer. Underneath his suit was a light blue shirt with yellow buttons and a yellow bow tie. He looked stupid.

Claire shook her head and quickly told silly-red-suit-man a small summary of the events that had occurred in the last few days.

"MT Realtor told you that you can live a refreshing life on the farm? You're the new farmer?" He inquired.

A slow and disappointed nod of her head was Claire's response to his questions. She glanced up to see if she would receive any guidance or sympathy. To her surprise, he burst out laughing, his head tilted back and his mouth opened up wide.

"You've been tricked!" He stated, pointing out the obvious and his voice not displaying any sympathy at all. Claire felt her eye twitch and her tolerance level sink by a bit. A desire to punch the short man across his stupid fat face or to use some of her farm tools on him appeared.

"It used to be a gorgeous farm," he said looking at the mess of a field, "but not any more since the owner passed away. As you can see, no one's been taking care of it."

Well, uh duh. The state of the farm was a huge kick in the face and a neon sign with blinking red and blue lights saying, "This farm is abandoned! No one's been taking care of it!" If Mr. Shorty-Fat-Guy-in-Red noticed her 'Well, uh duh' face, he didn't show it and continued talking.

"Not many people want to work on the farm now," he continued, "So they decided to make the advertisement sound more attractive. Every now and then, people have seen the ad come here. Just like yourself."

Claire twitched yet again. She didn't want to be reminded of her stupidity.

"But as soon as they see the farm, they get disappointed and leave, just like that. It's been a while since the last one came, though…"

Shorty looked up at her and cracked another grin. "I see," he said. He sounded ready to burst out laughing again. "You believed that cheesy advertisement." And then Fatty proceeded to do exactly as he sounded like he would do seconds before. He laughed.

Claire pulled out the hammer that she bought before coming to Mineral Town. All right, that was it. That was the last straw. Pulling the hammer back as far as she could she prepared to swing it down on his stupid red top hat. Because he was laughing with his eyes closed, he didn't notice and continued to chortle unbeknownst to his coming doom.

KAPOW!

"OW! Ow ow ow… Ouch… Okay, okay, sorry! Stop hitting me!" He whined, his hand on his injured head.

Claire was tempted to pull out her scythe and slash him to bits, but murder was a crime, and it was already enough that she just struck a guy she didn't even know. Albeit he was an annoying, fat, irritating old jerk of a guy. Instead she put her hammer away.

"Fine," she said huffily. She turned back to the neglected field. "But I already moved out of my apartment and quit my job to come here…"

"I see…" Sir Wears-red-a-lot put on his overdue sympathy face. "That's too bad…"

Claire sighed. "Yeah, it is," she agreed.

"Hey," said the weirdo short guy, his face lighting up like the idea lightbulb that appeared over his head. "Why don't you try and run the farm? The house is liveable and actually pretty nice. If you work hard, I think you'll be happy here. I, Thomas, as mayor of this town, will help you as much as I can."

"No," was Claire's quick reply.

The mayor left back to his house and Claire went back to the city to continue her boring life and the credits rolled.

Or at least that's what would happen if Claire said no.

"Let's do it!" Claire said. "Because if I don't, Natsume will make it game over and roll the credits because they don't have a sense of humour."

"What?"

"Never mind."

So the mayor returned back to town. Claire scooped up the dog that she had bought before coming to the farm in her arms.

"Alright, Link!" she said to the tan coloured canine (She was a video game fan, hence the name of the dog. Even if the dog was the wrong color and Link turned into a wolf, not a dog. Whatever. She had to name something Link, and she wasn't about to have a chicken, cow, sheep, or potato with that nickname. Whoops. I'm uselessly ranting again.), "I'm going to make this farm the best farm in the world!"

I suck, don't I? Well, why don't you review for me? You know, as a favor? Please? Even flames are somewhat, not really, actually not appreciated. I do enjoy comments of constructive criticism. Please don't be mean about it. My feelings are easily hurt.

Hey, if this site is being a bitch again, I'm sure some things have been deleted or something. If something doesn't make sense, tell me. I don't proofread my work, like a good girl should.

Oh, and don't call that phone number. I don't live there anymore, and I don't want to upset those nice people who live there with a prank phone call. They're just renting the house, okay? Be nice to them. And you'd probably have to make a long distance call anyway, so why bother?