Need It Be A Woman?
Author's Note:
Okay. So, this fic was inspired by Susan Kay's book, Phantom. It is a good read, but I did not use the description/look of Erik's face that she did. I took his description from the movie, Phantom of the Opera, so there's some mixing going on here. :)
The quote, however, is from her book, because it is what prompted me to write this short fic in the first place!
So, enjoy! And maybe drop me a review about what you thought of it? :)
~Sweet-Hearted SilverEars~
"My mind has touched the farthest horizons of mortal imagination and reaches ever outward to embrace infinity.
There is no knowledge beyond my comprehension, no art or skill upon this entire planet that lies beyond the mastery of my hand….
But as long as I live, no woman will ever look on me in love."
"Erik! Why ever would you say that? Surely Christine?.."
"No, Raoul," the older man said softly in reply, a slight smile curving his lips. The flames from the many tall, cream-toned candles that surrounded the thick warm blanket where they sat together sharing a meal on the flagstone floor by the Phantom's lake shone over the surface of Erik's white and gleaming half-mask beautifully. "Though I do thank you for your sentiment in saying so. No, Christine does not love me. Respect and adoration, yes. Caring. But not love. Never love."
"I.. I see. I am sorry."
"Why? The lack of romantic love in my life is not of your making, nor is it of mine. I was born with this affliction, after all."
"I know that, yes, but.. Erik?"
"Yes, Raoul?"
"Need.. Need it be a woman?"
"What?" Erik inquired, his dark brows drawing downward in clear perplexity.
"Does it need to be a woman?" Raoul clarified, his low voice shaking a little with his nerves about exposing himself like this to his friend. "The one who loves you, I mean? Because I love you. And I love.. men."
"What did you say?"
"I- I love men," he repeated, biting his own lower lip and watching him warily.
"No. Before that, Raoul."
"..I love you?"
"Yes. That."
"I love you, Erik. Truly I do. How could I not, when you are so beautiful?"
"Beautiful, Raoul? You think me beautiful?"
"Of course I do. Because you are beautiful. Your intelligence and intensity. Your voice. ..Your eyes."
"My eyes?" Erik said with some amusement, though he appeared to be touched as well.
"Yes," Raoul replied, a slight pink flush spreading over his creamy skin as he spoke. "They are so dark and mysterious. But there is light there, too. Like a star-scattered sky. It is really quite attractive."
"I see. And.. my face?"
"It really is not so horrible, Erik."
"Oh yes?" he replied with some disbelief in response to his words.
"Yes. I.. I have even thought of.." Raoul trailed off with a deeper red flush this time.
"Yes?"
Raoul carefully set down his half-full glass of red wine before moving closer to Erik on the blanket, both his slender hands reaching out toward the other man's face with some hesitance. "..May I, Erik?" Raoul asked softly, not afraid, but cautious of his friend's reaction.
Erik inclined his head, giving his permission to touch, though his dark eyes were wary, for once unsure about what might be about to occur. Raoul's slender fingertips touched the Phantom's cool mask and Erik's smooth skin, trembling against his warm flesh as Raoul's bright blue eyes closed and he sighed with an expression that could be only intense rapture.
Erik watched him, clearly fascinated by Raoul's expression as the golden haired man opened his eyes again, flinching in reflex when he felt the mask slip from his face at Raoul's direction.
"Shh.." Raoul soothed, setting the porcelain mask aside carefully before returning his hands to Erik's face. "There is no judgment here. Remember, Erik. You are beautiful to me, my love."
He then stretched upward, clearly shocking Erik to the core when he lovingly pressed his soft lips to the disfigured side of Erik's face. Raoul's hands slid into his dark hair, fingers caressing his scalp pleasurably as they entwined within the silken strands, his sweet mouth moving then as he began to place numerous tender kisses over both sides of Erik's countenance.
It must have quickly become all too much for Erik, because his hands were suddenly holding Raoul's face in return, his mouth smothering his in a hard, soul-consuming kiss.
Raoul felt his own body shudder as Erik's arms and lips embraced him, a soft, whimpering moan rising up from the back of his throat, going limp and willing against his larger form.
He gasped sharply then when he abruptly found himself on his back beneath Erik, the white mask on one side of his body, his glass of wine on the other as their eyes met.
Erik's hands were all over him, and Raoul squirmed and shook under his touch, his voice noticeably trembling as he requested softly, "E-Erik, I- I know that you have never done this before, but.. Please, try to be gentle. Because I never have, either."
Erik stilled at Raoul's confession in surprise, inclining his head in silent agreement while his hands quickly went to the buttons on Raoul's white dress shirt.
Once all the buttons were undone Erik hurriedly pushed the fabric to either side of Raoul's chest, his strong hands instantly attracted to the golden-haired man's sleek muscles.
Raoul quivered and moaned in response to Erik's gentle exploration, his flesh heating with his swiftly rising passion.
"Nughh, Erik! Please!" he begged, his blue eyes pleading with him, unable to stop the escaping words because of the flood of physical and emotional need. "Please, take me into your bed.."
Erik blinked rapidly, clearly shocked by his whispered request, but then his expression softened and he reluctantly released Raoul to stand, holding out his left hand to assist him to his feet with a smile.
Raoul smiled in return, reaching for him, following after Erik in silence and with eager anticipation as he led him by the hand to his secluded, curtain enclosed sleeping alcove.
They left behind their meal, wine glasses and Erik's white porcelain mask, knowing they would return to them later on after the more pressing hunger was satisfied. The hunger for touch. For love.
Once they were concealed within the red velvet curtains Raoul drew Erik back into his embrace using the hold that he still had on his hand. He was unable to resist stretching his body up on tiptoe and along Erik's to fasten his mouth to his in a gentle kiss.
Erik stiffened reflexively at first, though more because he was so used to being alone then because he did not want it, as he soon relaxed into this first of many intimate moments between them.
Raoul's lips parted on his, his silent request obvious, and Erik actually growled as he claimed Raoul's mouth with his tongue, his hands finally ridding the other man of his unbuttoned, rumpled white dress shirt.
His hands ran over Raoul's warm flesh once more, wanting to learn the slender body of this man who loved him.
Erik was pleased when Raoul moaned into the kiss, instinctively sucking hard on Erik's tongue while arching his spine to press his bare chest into his caresses needily.
"Erik!" Raoul gasped when they finally stopped for air, wrapping his arms around his neck and clinging to him with passion glazed eyes and heavy, panting breaths. "I love you! I have loved you the whole time! Please.. bed. No clothing between us. Let me- Let me touch you!"
"Yes," Erik acquiesced, divesting them both of their garments and maneuvering them into his bed with Raoul on top of him. "As you wish, Raoul. I am yours."
"As I am yours," Raoul murmured, his gaze transfixed on Erik's face as he spoke.
Raoul saw the surprise on Erik's face as he lowered his head down to his lover's bare chest just before his long golden lashes fluttered as he closed his eyes.
He then moved his head up a little to press several moist, open mouthed kisses to the right side of Erik's neck, humming softly with pleasure while continuing back down to his chest again.
Raoul felt Erik's powerful body jolt, jerking beneath him in clear surprise when Raoul fastened his mouth to Erik's left nipple, licking at it tenderly a few times, wanting to taste his essence, before beginning to suckle the soft flesh gently.
"What are you doing, Raoul?"
Raoul blinked his eyes open, lifting his mouth away reluctantly to speak quietly, "You do not enjoy it?" he asked, his low tone disappointed, his blue eyes slightly sad.
"It is.. nice," Erik replied honestly.
"But it does not do anything for you. I can tell. I was hoping.. I love how it feels to touch my own nipples."
"Is that so?"
"Yes."
"I shall remember that, Raoul. But this does not bother me. So if it is something you like to do, it is fine."
"Well, I.. I love the taste of your skin, but if it does not please you.."
"You please me, my Raoul. That is what matters here between us."
Raoul immediately brightened at his words, his blue eyes lighting up when Erik's right hand moved to touch him, tenderly cupping his head on that side and sliding his fingers into Raoul's long, soft strands of golden hair.
"Thank you.." Raoul softly sighed, leaning into his touch like a cat wanting to be petted and pleasured. "I love you, Erik."
Raoul lowered his head again, placing a line of gentle kisses down the smooth skinned, muscular flesh of Erik's chest, then on to his belly. Erik flinched on reflex, a harsh gasp actually escaping his lips and his dark eyes going wide, staring down at Raoul in frozen shock as the other man slipped down between his legs to nuzzle the smooth skin of his left cheek against Erik's cock where it lay nestled in a soft nest of black curls.
Raoul glanced up at him with an impish smile and shining blue eyes, causing Erik's whole body to jolt when he first ran his tongue along the left side of his shaft, warm and wet, then pressed a gentle kiss to his tip before licking at it lightly with that same wicked tongue.
"R-Raoul!" Erik groaned through abruptly gritted teeth, grimacing as his hips sharply jerked further into Raoul's attentions as he continued to lovingly lick at his rapidly hardening shaft. "Mmmph! Haahhh!"
Raoul smiled, pleased immensely by his response, taking Erik's hot and silky length slowly into his mouth, swallowing instinctively as he gradually got into a rhythm.
Despite his inexperience, it did not take long for Erik to find his release, shuddering hard and groaning as he spilled his essence into Raoul's hot, wet mouth rapidly.
Erik's body was sweaty and shaking with pleasure's aftershocks as Raoul pulled back to let him go reluctantly, his eyes staring upward, dazed with shock as he watched Raoul swallow audibly.
"That was not as bad as I expected. ..The taste. But I do love you, so perhaps that makes the difference."
Erik stared down at Raoul, the shock in his dark eyes going deeper at his softly spoken statement. "Raoul. My Raoul. I love you. I love you and I did not know. I did not know!"
"Shh, Erik," Raoul soothed, moving back up along his lover's body and reaching out to him, for him, taking the Phantom of the Opera into his comforting embrace. "I love you as well. I love you. We are together, and everything is fine. I promise, my beautiful lover."
They kissed tenderly then, pressing their lips together while holding onto each other where they lay with their naked bodies pressed close in Erik's bed, their expressions contented and lazy, both of them sated for now.