Disclaimer: Characters, setting etc all belong to Warner Bros and DC Comics.
Author Notes: Italics are flashbacks
Felicity knew that working with Oliver and Diggle meant trouble. After all, the last time that she helped out with a mission she ended up with a bomb collar around her neck. Facing Oliver's psycho ex-girlfriend who was pointing a crossbow at her made sense.
Really? Why didn't they want her to help? They knew she had the skills to hack into the FBI system with finesse. But no!
"Felicity, this is private!" Diggle told her.
"Get out!" Oliver commanded before Felicity could even enter the room.
Never had she felt so unwanted, not a part of the team. She turned on her heel, ponytail swishing, and walked out. Leaving Diggs and Oliver to solve whatever problem they were in now. Felicity got in her compact car, drove to her favorite café and picked up a coffee. Arriving at Queen Consolidated, she carried the hot coffee up to her favorite place to think: her office, where she was surrounded by the quiet, steady hum of the servers. Computers were her friends, predictable and logical, unlike her vigilante friend.
She didn't know what kind of trouble Oliver was walking into next but she wanted to help even if he didn't ask. He really wasn't very good at asking for help anyway. It gnawed at her brain, begging to be solved. Why was Helena back in town? What did she want Oliver to do? Reaching for her best friend – her tablet, she started doing what she did best, writing code to track Helena. She left it working while she sipped on her coffee.
"Ding", her tablet chirped. She read the results on the screen and swiftly picked up the phone to call Oliver. Why wasn't he answering? "Oliver, it's Felicity! I just wanted to let you know that someone has been buying a high powered crossbow in town…" As she turned around, she froze.
Standing opposite was the psycho ex-girlfriend all suited up, pointing the crossbow at her. "Say goodbye to Oliver now," Helena ordered. "You said you could hack into the FBI network for me, so let's get to it! Find my father!" She pushed Felicity into the chair and kept the crossbow pointed at her.
Felicity hoped Oliver would get the message soon. She knew Helena would really shoot her if she actively resisted, but she figured she could subtly stall. Her logical mind ran through her options: Have the tablet crash, too obvious; run a slower search, done, type a little slower, done. Please hurry Ollie!
"Ding!" The results showed up on Felicity's screen. Helena pushed Felicity's chair away and read the screen. "Thank you! I may just let you live!" Whack. The room went dark.
She awoke to that familiar voice calling her name in the fog. The room was blurry and she couldn't move. "Oliver?" she whispered.
"Felicity?" Her vigilante rushed to her side, cutting her bonds. He reached out to cradle her face. His worried green eyes searched her face, gauging her condition. Suddenly his eyes turned cold. He quickly stood, muscles tense, like a panther, ready to pounce. She could hear footsteps now. She sensed the slight change in Oliver's bearing as he relaxed. Diggle entered as Felicity stood up. Oliver walked away from her, leaving her with Diggle.
"Where are you going?" John asked him. Oliver stopped long enough to answer, "I'm going to do what I should have done before!" Without a backward glance, Oliver strode from the room. Felicity's face fell.
"Here are your glasses, Felicity," John said. "When you're ready I'll take you home."
Sliding her glasses on, she retorted, "Take me back to Verdant. I can still help Oliver. I need to help him. I need to make up for this mess" She continued to babble.
"Felicity, this isn't your fault. Helena is twisted. Oliver thought he could teach her, control her but he couldn't." Diggle interrupted her. "I will take you back to the Arrow Cave. I need to know what's happening too."
Back in the industrial cave, Felicity listened to the quiet hum of the computers. Calming, soothing. Dressed in gray sweats she sipped her second coffee. "I'll tap into the radio comms of the Starling City PD. That way we can follow what is happening." John started to workout, relieving his own stress.
"There's been a shooting. Detective Hall has been shot by the Huntress!" blared through the computer speakers, filling the room.
Felicity crumpled to the floor. "This is entirely my fault. Oliver may lose his girlfriend because of his psycho ex and it's because of me. I've let him down. If only I hadn't walked in on your first conversation, if I hadn't bragged about my skills, if I had stood up to Helena at Queen Consolidated. Sure I might have died but it would have been better than this."
John walked over to her, crouching in front of her. He tipped her head up to look at him. "Listen to me Felicity! We all make choices. Sometimes we live to regret them. All we can do is think that at that time and in that place it was the best decision we could have made. You made choices! I made choices. Oliver made choices. How do you think Oliver deals with all the choices he has made as the Hood? You could have died twice because of your involvement with us. How do you think we live with that?"
"But I survived, Diggle! McKenna may not." Felicity whimpered.
John decided to try another tactic. He pulled Felicity to her feet. Grabbing the bamboo sticks, he threw two at her and then proceeded to attack her with his own. Felicity didn't react at first but then she felt the adrenaline rush and started to fight back. Diggle kept at her until she was sweating and breathing heavy. She made a time out sign with her sticks, wiping the sweat off her brow. "Feel any better?" John asked.
"I completely get why you guys workout now," the blonde replied, a little breathless. John tossed her a bottle of water. She opened it and sipped some. "Maybe I should start training with you guys."
"Actually, Felicity, that may be a good idea. Having some skills will be helpful if you get into one of these situations again." Diggle replied.
"Well I'm heading home for a shower. See you later Diggs." Her eyes connected with Diggs. "Thank you," she whispered.
She'd been keeping her distance from Oliver Queen and John Diggle, ignoring phone calls and working from home. She was curled up on the couch, sipping a glass of wine, pondering about her future. Should she bow out now? Leave the team? Was she too much of a liability? Did they really need her or were they just keeping her close because she knew their secret?
A knock at the door interrupted her thoughts. Placing her wine on the table, she got up to answer the door. Opening it, she saw Oliver's green eyes peering at her. "May I come in?"
Nervously playing with her blonde hair, she pulled the door open and moved out of the way. "Would you like a glass of wine, Mr. Queen…? Oliver?" she babbled.
"Yes please Felicity. Then I'd like to sit down and talk." Oliver, in his v-neck shirt, followed her into the kitchen. She poured a second glass of wine and carried it into the living room. Oliver sat on the couch and picked up his glass, sampling the wine. "Very nice." Felicity sat down at the other end of the couch, leaving lots of space between them. "Why haven't you been to the club?" He watched her closely.
Her hands flittered about before settling on her wine glass. She took a small sip before answering. Her eyes never left her wine glass. "I let you down Mr. Queen." She mumbled over the rim of her class. "I didn't fight the Huntress when she came looking for information. I gave in. You lost McKenna. Helena killed all those men. All because of me."
Oliver placed his wine glass on the table, reached over and took Felicity's and placed it on the table too. She still wouldn't look at him, too ashamed of her failures. His calloused hand reached out and held hers, smooth and gentle. He turned Felicity towards him, holding both of her hands with his. Surprised by his action, she looked up through a veil of blonde hair at him. He released her hand and gentle pushed her hair back out of her face. He then reached for her hands again and held them tightly. "Felicity," his breath caressed her face. "I let you in on my secret because I trust you and need your help. I thought I could take care of you. But I've let you down. I've been so busy trying to keep my billionaire playboy image that you ended up in danger twice. The bomb collar and then at Helena's mercy. Do you know how much it hurts me to see you like that? You said once that for some reason you could trust me. Is that still true?" His green eyes revealed his lack of confidence.
Felicity watched him the whole time, her blue eyes filling with tears. "Yes," she whispered. "I still trust you. Every time I get into trouble I know that I can count on you. You've saved me every time. I knew if I delayed long enough you'd get the message and come to save me." Boldly, the blonde released his hands, wrapped her arms around him and hugged him, squeezing tightly. "Thank you," she whispered into his ear.
Oliver's muscular arms wrapped around her, holding her close. His stubble brushed her face as he quietly replied. "No, thank you..." He released Felicity and stood up. His billionaire playboy grin light up his face. "See you at 5 for a training session?"
"Definitely!" she replied.