A/N: This is a re-write. Pull up a seat and enjoy!
It was another sweltering, radioactive day on the mainland. Things had been quiet.
The waves of the beach lapping melodically onto the shore where a few Enclave personnel monitored the setting sun.
One monstrosity seemed to soak up all the sun; his shadow streaking across the beach, enveloping the two smaller spindly shadows of the officers standing beside him,
The two men were armed with flamers, they were ready to set to work.
"Do it." A grim voice leeched out of the monster's MK II helmet. He pointed his giant hand towards the hapless captives.
The monster: Frank Horrigan. Not many lived to tell the tale. Towering over seven feet tall, power armor grafted onto his body, heart of a Yao Guai, hands of a Death Claw, the mind of a senseless killer, his arua, pure radiation.
The men nodded. The ends of the nozzles expelling a pressurized hiss, followed by a FUUMPH, as flames licked out the front of the flamethowers. They approached the cages and let loose with a full stream of fire, burning the captives alive as they hissed, attacking the cage with their clawed pincers. The cries of their agony were drowned out as Frank turned up the radio on the old picnic table. Their burning corpses reflecting in the empty golden eyes of the the MK II.
Fraank! Fraaaaank!" A woman's high pitched voice could be heard approaching. He turned his head ferociously, scanning the the woman. She hated when he did that. She stumbled in her high heels, holding the large bonnet on her head as best she could as the wind picked up. She flittered down the sand dunes in her summer dress, imprinted with small lobsters and sailing ships before turning down the radio. Boys and their music!
"Honey, you've over toasted them again." She said sadly, pushing her bottom lip out. The two officers looked at one another, trying to stifle their laughter. Frank put a hand to his brow, shaking his head.
"I, uh…" His mind raced. Suddenly he turned to the two officers, "IT WAS THESE TWO IMBECILES!" the two men shuddered closing their eyes. Expecting to be ripped limb from limb. One peeked one eye open to see the woman scoff at the men, brushing her curly brunette locks over her hand and storming away. "I wanted them boiled anyways, you dolt! Never listens…never!" Her fists were clenched at the side of her body.
Soon she had gone back over the dunes.
"Close one, eh Frank?" Officer 1 swaggered over and pat his metallic body.
"Get back to work twig!" He shoved the man back, pointing to the cage of Mirelurks. "And turn up that radio!"
After a lot of messy work, the spread was laid out: Medium rare Yao-Guai steaks, with plates of Mirelurk claws and artificial butter. Powdered milk biscuits, lab grown corn and ice-cold Nuka cola. The radio had been turned to a low squelch, as they piled plates high with food.
"It has been so long since we've had time with each other…" She looked adoringly at Frank, who just seemed to sit, lifelessly looking back at her. "I know you're smiling under there." She tapped the faceplate with her fingernail. Again laughter was heard from the two officers. The woman craning her head towards them " I just don't see why you always have to drag these…" She coldly stared the men down. "…Lackeys every where you go." She put her hand on Frank's arm. Only his labored machine like breathing could be heard. "What happened to that darling talking deathclaw, what was his name…Peanut!" Her voice high with accomplishment. A rumble sounded in the pit of his stomach. The two officers burst into laughter, gripping one another, hacking up bits of food.
"Arrrrg…I had him shot." Said Frank, snapping a claw in two. Might as well have been his spirit.
"Shot! Oh honey, I'm so sowwy! Here. I know it's nothing special, but I brought you something." She reached into her bag. The two officers wide-eyed with anticipation. She pulled a long shirt out, which was actually a giant bib of sorts which read : IT'S GRILLIN' TIME, with a winking vault-tec boy giving a thumbs up. "I made it myself. So you can wear it next time!"
"No! No!" The officers gasped for air between sobbing laughter. "Make 'em put it on! Try it on!"
"Oh what a wonderful idea!" She clasped his hands in hers. Her face lit up in excitement. "And I just happened to bring my camera too!"
"Oh! Ho-ho! Perfect!" Officer 2 was in tears, he tore his cap off, as he pounded the table top.
"Here, let me put it on for you sweetie." She tried to tie it around his neck as he gently pushed her away. "What's the matter? Don't…Don't you like it?" Her big eyes blinking in astonishment.
"Affirmative. It's quite…lovely…" He sighed. "It's just that I have to be back at the Oil Rig soon, and…I'd like to enjoy this meal, with no more frills…"
"Oh." She looked down at the scrunched bib. The two officers could be heard eating in the background. "I thought you were off for a few days."
"Negative. Pass the Sierra-Sierra, designation Alpha-1." He said to officer 2. His wife glowered at him.
"You know I hate that mumbo-jumbo Frank." She slapped officer's 2 hand away from the steak sauce. "Can you PLEASE, pass…"
"Can you please pass the A-1 Steak sauce…" He repeated slowly, as the officers chuckled.
"Enjoying the BUSCUITS, boys?" She scolded.
"Yes ma'am. They are the best." Officer 1 said solemnly. Officer 2 was trying to hold back his laughter, spitting some of the dry crumbs out of his mouth.
"MMhmmm!" He said, giving a thumbs up. His cheeks were high and bulging in a sinister smile.
"Well you two eat up." She waved her napkin at them winking. "The Enclave doesn't serve these everyday you know."
Frank stood and motioned to the officers.
"Wha-? You're leaving already? But I thought you'd stay the night…" She rubbed her arm with a hand, sulking.
"Negative."
Right then a vertibird was on the horizon, bearing down on them. The wind from the propellers kicking up a storm of sand food.
"I have to go love." He said, his cold metallic hands pulling her close to his gigantic hunting frame for a kiss.
"Ow." She grabbed her forehead as her face collided with the power helmet.
"Sorry. Sometimes I forget." He droned out.
"So do I."
"Sorry for the interruption miss, you know the Enclave, we never sleep!" Said the pilot as he lowered the ramp.
She had almost forgot to give him his bib! She ran in the storm to retrieve it. But by the time she ran back, they were airborne. Frank could see her small frame screaming something as they flew off.
"You're a lucky man." Said the pilot. "Don't worry. You'll be back in no time."