If you ever come to the CCG investigation halls past 1am, across from the enormous investigation headquarters, you would see a pale dim glow emitting from the halls as If it were entrancing you to follow it.
First class Ghoul investigator Akira Mado sits behind this particular glow of light in the safety of her office, officially title Mado Squad board meeting room.
She breathes a soft sigh and hacks away on her research, typing her report on the latest case with absolute rapidity – the torso investigation. This ghoul has been running around all over Tokyo and is nothing but trouble. It is only fair she do her bit of justice in saving her people. All the lives of the innocent he has claimed…at any rate if she could she would slit his throat up in a heartbeat, she would definitely do it, but she needed to be patient. She knew how to catch him…All she needed was a bit of time…
It had already been a couple hours since she had started and her efforts seemed to be more fruitless the more she planned and inferred. In frustration, she clenched her fist into a ball and slammed it against her metallic working desk. It surprised her, how much her loss had affected her. She rarely ever let her emotions get to her further than her own mind. Yet…Her mother, her father, Seidou Takazawa…Her rival, she scoffed at the thought of his antics, his honesty and determination. That was certainly something to be admired.
And also, him. Him with his back towards her that night, walking away from her in full clad armor for the fight. 'Fight well', he had said. 'Fight hard'. He was talking to the whole team of CCG investigators, however it seemed to her like he meant it just for the both of them.
Earlier that night had been awkward. She had let loose of her emotions, and the moment her guard was down they overtook her body like a consuming fire. Passion. Passion and loneliness was what fueled her that day. When she looked back on it she'd blush furiously, but when she thought about it again she would smile and believe she wouldn't have had it any other way.
'It's really like you, to be honest…Really like you' he had said when she had touched his cheek and tried to kiss him. And it didn't hurt at all. Almost. It was just the way he had said it. So warmly and sadly, but it was also worse because she wanted to do it even more after that.
Him and his steady gaze, from the way he looked at anyone it would seem like he saw nobody else. That was the way he valued you. He loved people. And she loved, him.
She could almost feel the warmth of his touch like it was yesterday.
Akira exhales and leans further into her pristine and solitary leather office chair. She would need another cup of coffee. This night would be very long and very lonely.
~/~
Fumbling in the dark in her state of drowsiness, she had finally found the switch for the lights to the kitchen area. Thank God that was over and done with. She had no plans to waste so much time trying to get a drink.
Impatiently she lurched forward for the kettle in the corner of the room. At last she would taste its warm and homely flavor. It was then that she realized being only 5'3, her stature was way too tiny to even reach the hidden cupboard full of coffee.
Of course! She laughed quietly. Everyone had already left and it was no wonder the food and drink were not left on the tables.
She closed her eyes and felt someone warm behind her lean against her head with such gentleness. Through her peripheral vision she could also see a hand brushing past her cheek, sending electric waves from her ears to the very core of her spine.
The hand continued to travel and trail like water all the way towards the cupboard handles, with the other resting comfortingly on her shoulder.
He was here. She felt a wave of gloom and nostalgia surround her immediately.
How stupid and incompetent. Can you do anything more hopeless than imagine the dead be living? The only thing you can do now is avenge or accept, or avenge, avenge, avenge.
She reached out a finger to wipe away a tear from the corner of her left eye before more came. It is better that she stop and forget here, and move on.
'It is okay to cry' a voice whispered.
Akira stiffened.
Slowly but surely, her green eyes traveled up the waist of the shadow all the way to meet the gaze of the tall broad shouldered figure standing before her. It was terrifying, but relieving, but altogether—surely this was just a dream?
She hid her fear with all she could behind her contained smile. She curled a loose blonde strand of hair onto her ear carefully. Looking up toward his face, absorbing his features hungrily, now that they were both in the light. It was obvious now that she was eye to eye with Amon Koutarou.
'What took you so long?'
'There were some…' he hesitated. 'technical difficulties you could say'
The guy was looking at her so sheepishly and her heart felt even more burdened.
She glanced toward a nearby suitcase at the edge of the kitchen countertop. It took two seconds for her to jerk forward and reach out for it.
Could she trust him? Is he still there?
What was Aogiri tree up to now? Did he somehow get in touch with Kanou?
She staggered on towards him.
She really did feel like she might lose it. She was really going to lose it this time. Her mind was nearing a total lockdown from her grief. It was too much of a concept to grasp for her after all she had been through. It was way too hard for her to accept that Amon was now a hungry, man-eating ghoul. The psychological damage was enough thank you very much, and they still wanted to torture her.
It took an exhaustive amount of energy to open the suitcase, but when the kagune finally emerged from it, glowing and ready to kill, she could not for the life of her grasp a hold onto it. Her fingers were too sluggish and clumsy.
She had smelt blood, though. From the moment she had eyed him she had already decided that he was no longer human. What did he take her for? A lifetime of experience of training with the CCG was what had made her this way. Didn't he understand that?
It was too late now. Her reaction timing was off, all because of her wretched feelings for him. In defeat she threw her weapon down and collapsed onto the floor, exhausted from her struggle.
Through her dizzy hearing she could sense footsteps walking toward her calmly, as if the whole scene was in a movie.
She felt his hand curve around the edge of her chin, and she allowed him to lift her head up to face him. It was done with such carefulness she would've mistaken it for tenderness, had she already knew what he had become. Such handsome features, such a treacherous lifestyle, what a total waste that the CCG had lost one of the best ghoul investigators of Japan..To become this kind of monstrosity.
He tilted her face slightly to the side and she continued to obey. It was going to be okay. He was going to eat her now.
She smiled at the very irony. It was no matter.
Only the strongest survive, and the weak are left to suffer. She had known this all along and was ready to accept her fate now.
It would only be poetic if he ate her.
My love, it is okay if you betray me. It would only be the kindest act of service. Being betrayed by you wouldn't be so bad at all…
~/~
She closed her eyes as Koutarou brought his mouth very close to the side of her neck.
All she had to do was wait for it to happen. She had already accepted her fate and was looking at the perspective much more calmly than she had ever imagined.
As he placed his lips against her collarbone, a cold shiver of the same electricity seemed to overcome her. She felt her insides lurch ever so slightly at his soft, careful touches. This warm feeling seemed to be never ending. Yes, now would be the perfect time to die. She found herself not wanting him to stop at all, and she continued to keep very, very still.
But the pain never reached her. Either that or she had simply refused to feel it.
Instead she felt Amon's heavy arms align and embrace her thinly covered shoulders. She felt the warmth of his breath as he kissed her on the cheek, and then on the nose, and as he trailed across her face she held her ground and refused to move, hoping that he would never let her go.
And then, only when she finally dared to raise her eyelids and look back at him with defiance did he lift his eyebrows in question, as if seeking consent.
A sly little smile spread widely across her face when she realised his bold suggestion.
He took the chance of that as approval. Eagerly he leaned forward and matched her lips to his. His hands started running through her hair fervently as if he had known her for decades.
The response was immediate.
She opened her mouth and allowed him to explore the deeper corners where her words often came stuck, and where no one had ever been near before.
'Take me with you' she gasped. She could no longer grasp the concept of not having him by her side any longer after this.
She laced her hands around his neck like she had always dreamed of doing, and kissed him on the forehead with care. She didn't understand why it had to be this way. But she was ready and willing to risk everything.
She traveled across his arms daintily and tauntingly.
In response he returned her smile with a bemused smirk. He had understood.
Helping her to remove his jacket and undershirt, he had never felt so self-conscious in his life being face to face with the most beautiful girl in the world.
He in turn closed his eyes, burying his face into her left shoulder. As her hands wandered he began moaning softly in response. Finally having the freedom she traced along his biceps and abs, massaging and investigating the inner workings of his well-toned body that had been hidden way too much for way too long from her.
'Amon' she murmured into his ear as she continued to massage his shoulders.
'Hmm?'
'Amon?'
'Yes.'
'Nothing.'
A heavy blanket of silence enveloped the both of them.
'I'm so glad you're alive'
'You can't come with me'
'I love you'
More silence.
'It will be dangerous'
A soft chuckle escaped her lips at the very thought of danger. Dangerous was being with you. Those words had almost run out of her mouth. Somehow though, she knew everything was going to be okay.