Jenny is Kurt . Blaine is Sam. And Rosie is Tina. Ron is Finn.
SELF HARM AND SUICIDE THOUGHTS.
The humble corridor in high school. It is a runway which separates the weak and feeble form the over reigning 'popular people' the stuck up bitches who don't care about what you think or how you feel. The ones who inflict more pain and hate than anything else. If you're weak and feeble then you would have to prepare yourself for a full day of being shoved into lockers slammed into other students like you were meaningless and nothing. Aren't schools supposed to be a safe place where children learn educational things? Where anti bulling campaigns and posters are reign the schools notice boards all around the site. School is a place where if you have a terrible problem you confined in your teacher. If your facing a dilemma you raise your hand and bam! Teacher solution. To be honest, school is a place of fear and judgement. It creates more problems than it solves. The stress and depression which leaves the student's worse of then they were before. If you are weak and feeble there is a minute chance you can survive but no chance in hell that you're going to be safe from the bullying or the stress, perhaps the teachers and larger students might not notice you so you can spend the time slipping around campus. All in all unless you are a beautiful popular girl or a arrogant jock. Face it your going nowhere.
Jenny Grace was a weak student. She was about 5 foot 2 inches, medium length brown hair covering her face which accommodated her pale emerald eyes. She was fragile and mentally broken. She's battled all of it Teenage Depression not the kind every teen diagnoses themselves with the kind which is medically diagnosed. She has faced anorexia because the media perceived curvy people to be work of the Devil. This had made her feel ugly and worthless. She moved from place to place not gaining any friends or support throughout her difficult times so it pretty much made them worse. Finally, she was a self harmer. Graphically it is a disgusting and exceptionally hard picture to paint to show how bad her self-harm was. As nobody in high school cares unless your pretty or dying Jenny was constantly pushed around. She was a rag doll for those who were above her in the social hierarchy. Jenny was small so an easy target being shoved into lockers or others caused new wounds and bruises to cover here existing ones. Her washed-out ivory skin was plagued with sinister ebony discolorations. When ever she was propelled hard enough into the ridged lockers her wounds from self inflicted pain would open, tracing a path of scarlet blood down her cotton cover up. Her clothes were a mask to conceal the engraved abrasions. A mask to bury here secret beyond the reach of anybody or anything. Every day full of hate and fury. She barley had any strength to carry on; her irregular sleeping patterns messed with her head which made her paraniod state worse.
On a day in late January as Jenny entered the school she felt everything was identical to yesterday. She staggered solitarily up the schools concrete steps, entering the corridors and halls of migrating students huddling like penguins. As she slipped around the crowd she was faces with the bullies who tormented the pathetic and scrawny students. She was shoved exceptionally hard into another life form, a male individual. She had never seen this person before, she didn't pay any particular attention to anybody but you knew if there was a new kid or not. This was most definitely a new kid. He was tall and thin, with a face full of compassion with hints of hope, he had soft skin. Teenage spots littered his face creating a youthful adolescent face. A face which was complete perfection check and jaw bones which angled perfectly creating an immaculate facial figure. His eyes were hidden behind spectacles. What she could see from his eyes was a soft chocolate, warm and full of love. His hair was perfection, sloped over his forehead a concoction of coffee brown, soft coppers and a small hint of auburn. His figure was accentuated by dark jeans and a black t-shirt. As Jenny turned to leave he caught up with her grabbing her arm forcing her to face him. "I erm, didn't quite catch your name. I'm Sam. Sam Fletcher." He stumbled over his words due to nerves. She looked into his eyes for a brief second and turned away just as he extended his hand out to her.
Rosie Wilson walked up behind Sam and spoke the words "She's not right in the head you know; she is all kinds of crazy." Sam jumped at the voice as he was still mesmerized by Jenny's appearance. He turned to face the voice that was whispering down his ear. "Hi, I'm Rosie Wilson." She was short not as short as Jenny. She battled her youth with makeup. Her soft shiny blonde hair trailed past her shoulders. Her small waist was in contrast to her chest. She was obviously not shy as her voluptuous figure was defiantly not hidden away, even with bitter winds and below zero temperature she was able to expose her soft slightly tan flesh. She was every boy's wet dream. Sam looked her up and down and spoke the words "Hi, I'm sorry what was that girl I just walked into called?" He was curious and felt compelled to find out more about this mysterious girl even if he was faced with a beautiful and highly attractive girl right now. From the first time he saw Jenny he knew he was in love.
After another uneventful day apart from the boy who she didn't talk to Jenny felt even more depressed, her live was a monotone black and white picture. She entered the hell whole that was foster care. She gave it a good hour letting people know she was home – if you could call such a place a home- she escaped the home and walked down the road. Jenny sat down on the cold icy concrete, staring blankly into the darkness; tears stained her cheeks as she shivered. She had never felt so alone and had turned back to her worse nightmare. Jenny pulled the sharp blade from her pocket and looked at in anguish and pain "Am I really starting this pathetic downwards spiral again?" The painful thoughts ran through her head. How could she let someone in if she was a risk, she had the fear of falling, why would he bother with love if it could never last? She pulled up her cotton shirt, her mask and concealment; the mask hid her pale creamy white skin. The knife pierced her skin as she let out a sigh of relief as the crimson stained her skin; bliss ran over her body as the pain covered up the solitary world and reality. The red substance dripped down her wrist and followed a path over her wrist and dripped onto the cold ground painting the concrete canvas.
The cold night air nipped at her skin as she came back to reality. She took the pre-prepared tissue clump out of her jacket pocket and wiped away the scarlet residue from her skin, as the tears ran down her cheeks. She smiled as a sense of release and support flooded over her body. She trailed back to the foster home taking in every minute and undersized sound and sight she saw. She felt compelled to run home. As she entered the confined space that was her room thoughts of the boy ran over her head. She reflected back to school as she turned to speak to him, she saw the boy with Rosie Wilson. As anger entered her body she felt the envious of Rosie's perfect figure. Removing her clothes she took a look in the mirror at her bare frame. There was not one thing beautiful about her. She didn't have hip bones, she didn't have a concave stomach, there was no existence of a thigh bone and her collar bones seemed untraceable. Her chest was disgusting it was almost as bare as her body. Jenny was determined to become beautiful. She began putting of meals. Disgusted at food, lying to everyone telling them she had eaten. She hid food away in clothes and boxes in her room.
Sam completely unaware of what Jenny as going through fantasised about her soft rouged lips and her pale green eyes. He sat in the family room playing with his younger siblings Eli and Bailey. He was distracting them from the constant arguing of his parents. The bickering about money. He never felt good enough for his step dad. Throughout there attempts at bonding he still felt alone. It was strange how this feeling left as he saw the crazy girl. He was in love even though he knew deep in his soul he was lonely and couldn't trust any one since his last girlfriend Jessica cheated on him with. Worse thing was he was away when it happened and his friends had to tell him.
He came back to reality and was welcomed with a pleasant surprise, he had left his face book logged on and he discovered that the crazy girl managed to find him. Jenny Grace was her name. It was almost as beautiful as her face. He couldn't manage to find the strength to type a simple hi before she disappeared of line. Rosie Wilson popped up; hello. Sam felt alone so someone to talk to might be good, what harm could it do. They began talking sharing banter and friendly conversation. The both admitted that they thought one and other were attractive.
Over the next couple of weeks Sam trailed around the school with Rosie and their group of friends. Every so often he would see Jenny walking solemnly from class to class. He discovered that her youthful appearance was not what he expected as she was in the year above so he had no classes with her. No way to communicate to her. He daydreamed about her. Their lives together if they ever got over the barrier of no communication. As days slipped by so did the amount her saw Jenny. Every time the small figure caught his eye he was saddened her expression was empty and her face became even more emaciated.
Jenny trailed around the school in-between her appointments with the doctors because of her anorexia and depression. She saw Sam but not as often as she liked. He was with Rosie. Rosie and Jenny were once close friends. This was before Jenny took a turn for the worse. Jenny had a passion for dance. She took part in dance shows and often she would duet with Rosie. Their passion for dance made them high contenders in the show as they were a highly anticipated act. About 6 months before Jenny became what she is now dance was cancelled they didn't have enough money to run the gym. There was talk of finding a new place. It never happened. Jenny and Rosie lost sight of each other. Jenny realised all the little things about her which annoyed her; the fact she had many friends and Jenny was a nobody. She realised how stuck up and full of her self Rosie really was. But Jenny couldn't blame her with a body like that you would have to love yourself. She was perfection and Jenny was nothing. Now to see Rosie with the new boy made her a little bit green-eyed, in fact she was incredibly jealous. The way they flirted as they talked the way Rosie gracefully pranced around him when they had gym. Jenny often sneaked out of her lessons to sit on the rural green near the physical education department.
On a Tuesday before lunch he watched him. That boy who she had bumped into. There was something about him which made her want to always be around him. She watched him as he ran the track. She was fascinated by the way that his legs bounded the ground as he ran taking long strides gracefully as his arms passed by his side. She paid close attention too the rise and fall of his chest as he took deep breaths. The way his hair bounced as the sweat dripped down his body and worked its way into his hair creating a copper effect. He was beautiful and a magnificent creature.
By his fifth lap Sam saw her. He tried not to make eye contact he couldn't risk scaring her away. He planned in his head the perfect scenario. What he would do is on his next lap around slip over into the brush where she was hidden and apologise and use his naturally awkward charm to talk to her. So he did, on his sixth lap he slipped over into the brush except this is where his plan failed. Due to the rainy conditions the night before and the mud which was sodden, he slipped skidding in the mud which went all over Jenny's clothes and face. He immediately apologised. She looked at him, speechless. Tugging at her clothes she wiped the mud off her face revealing a small section of her skeletal body. Sam made his was over to her and wiped the mud from under her eyes. He removed his clean shirt and placed it over her frail body. Revealing his pale white chest. His soft skin exposed. His body was perfect. It want extremely muscular and it was not plump. He was utter perfection. She looked at him stunned for words. She was overwhelmed with the sight of his pure innocence. Sam looked at her and he softly stated "Jenny Grace? I'm Sam I have told you before. I see you around the school site and I am amazed at your beauty. Recently I have seen less and less of you. I guess I know why now. Jenny your body is emaciated. There is nothing to you. Jenny this is our secret. I won't tell any one as long as you get help." He rummaged through her bag for a pen and paper on which he wrote down his telephone number. "That's my phone number if you ever need anyone to talk to I will always be here. Just, get help?"
Jenny looked down at the number he had crumpled and pressed into her muddy hand. She looked at him and spoke the words "Thank you." He stopped walking away and. Her voice was just like he had imagined. It was beautiful and like an angel. As he turned to face her body she was gone. He knew he loved her. Suddenly his life didn't seem such a waste. He returned to his running. Feeling like he had a purpose once more, the wind played havoc on his bare chest, a sense of pride ran over him the sense of helping someone who needed it.
As the bell rang it signalled to all the trapped students, imprisoned in the schools cruel snare, it was time to be realised. Among them were Jenny and Sam at completely opposite side of the school. Sam didn't know much about Jenny's life but he felt he was in love with her. Sam returned home, nothing beyond ordinary. The same constant routine tired him.
He watched her as she removed her clothes looking over at him playfully winking then awkwardly laughing. She ran to the water. From Sam's point of view it was euphoria. The water caressed her body, waves danced around her. She was in her underwear body completely exposed. The water ran over her body he watched as she ducked under the water as she rose looking out to the horizon looking at the fluorescent buoyancy aids. Sam took in ever single tiny detail about the way she moved from the water dripping down the arch of her back tracing faint translucent lines along her spine. He took note of the waterline just below her waist leaving her soft pale skin exposed. Jenny turned to face Sam signalling her need for him to enter. Sam looked at her body, even when overcoming anorexia her body was still small bones exposed. Her scars stood out in the dusk, her skin was covered in deep red wounds the scars. Sam felt an urge to run in after her, press her body against his, feel her soft skin against his, two warm bodies comforting each other. He felt too insecure to remove his shirt. Even if in Jenny's eyes he was pure perfection he didn't feel safe enough to escape from the entanglement of clothes which trapped his body.
Jenny was completely devoted to Sam and felt the need to have him beside her, running out of the water with the little energy she had left. She dived next to Sam shivering from the cool summer night air. Sam encased his arms around her bringing warmth to her sodden body. She shook into his arms, her head firmly placed on his chest, he lay back onto the ground as he sunk into the ground, Jenny lay along side him, he used his finger to outline her soft skin on her back, he traced a line up and down her spine he individually worked his fingers over her rib bones, circling over her shoulders before pulling her body into a bear tight hug. Looking up at the night sky. He looked up at the majestic night sky each individual star stood out for a different reason. Weather it was shape size or brightness. He looked down at Jenny listening to her gentle breathing her chest rise and fell slowly, her eyes closed, eyelashes occasionally fluttering. He knew she was asleep. He took this time to himself, gently removing her body from his lying her down on the soft sand. He removed his shirt and placed it over her body, her small frame covered by the deep blue cotton. Her rouged lips were irresistible. He kissed her forehead before removing his jeans. He ran down to the deep blue ocean and swam for a good twenty minutes. The sea water sending a chill down his spine. He felt more alive than he ever had before. Once he felt satisfaction he went back to Jenny cold drops on her skin, she suddenly woke pushing him onto the Sand. The playfully fought before he pulled her into a deep passionate kiss...
That was when Sam woke up. He felt slightly crushed that it was his imagination. He looked over to his phone to check the time. It was 17:30. He also had a message from an unknown number. It read: meet me on the bridge at 18:00. Jenny.
Sam realised he only had 30 minutes to complete a two mile walk. Grabbing his jacket leaving without an explanation to his parents Sam darted down the street. His feet sending a message into the darkness. The message being, wait for me.
Jenny sat on the bridge speculating if it really was a good idea to meet Sam. Would he even turn up? It was a risk she has taken in hope of the best. Her feet swayed with the wind as she looked into the deep water below. Leaves floated on top as fish swam below. She felt a sudden urge to jump. This wasn't the first time she contemplated suicide the first time she thought about it she attempted it. A flashed back entered her mind. REMs classic tune 'every body hurts filled the room as she took out her spiral bound notepad and scrawled the words:
A dark black hole, voices spill through,
You lie there, cold, are they talking to you,
They whisper and plot, scheme and conspire,
They want your soul to burn in their fire,
Do you give up? Do you give in?
Do you search for whatever's within?
Do you stay quite? Do you speak out?
Do you hide? Or do you shout?
Questions rattle around in your head,
Lying there silent, alone in your bed,
There is nothing, the absence of all,
Lying there staring, there's only black wall,
Only thing there that'll comfort your sleep,
Only thing there that noticed you weep,
You wonder the point of your menial existence,
A gun to your head, there wouldn't be much resistance,
There's no other option,
No other way out,
No end to the questions, the madness through out,
You feel like an old paper bag,
Filled only with an old dirty rag,
Empty, apart from useless tat,
People mistreat you; trap you like a rat,
This world seems tasteless, a pain without end,
Alone in your bedroom, a gun and no friends,
Finally, the end to it all,
You bring up the gun pull the trigger and fall,
A legacy that will last but years,
But even for you, many shed tears,
An old friend had told her this, he was inspirational and a hopeful poet. He wanted to be the next Shakespeare. She memorised the touching poem and wrote it down and felt a sense of pride. Her friend Ron was the one she told everything to. He was like a brother; he gave her the advice she needed. He knew everything about her. Sadly he dies of a Leukaemia when she was 15, this also prompted her cutting. She crumpled the paper into a ball and threw it with rage at the wall. Jenny ran the bath; water flowed out of the taps and into her way out. The bath was her final stand the last hurdle to over take before becoming free. Completely free. No body cared about her and why she would, Jenny felt empty, and she had no words left to speak. Jenny was over and there would be no aftermath that would follow her suicide nobody paid attention to her when she was Alive would she even get a funeral or a dignified way to commentate her death? She felt worthless, just a speck on the earth's surface causing corruption. Jenny slid out of the silk nightgown and watched it silently hit the floor as it left her frail form. A bitter wind hit her and she shivered. She climbed into the bath shuddering as her body hit the icy water, the candles lit the room dimly as the soothing music of Beethoven filled the room. Jenny looked at her body in Disgust and shock, her arms housed scars with stories deeper than the wounds themselves, her body was covered in scars from several ways to escape real pain and enter a euphoria filled with blood. As she looked at her wrists she uttered the words what's another one going to change. Taking the knife she sliced a deep vertical cut on her right and left wrists. She lowered them into the water and closed her eyes. The music soothed her as tears stain her cheeks. Jenny was transported to a new place her head felt light and everything turned black. She woke in the hospital. Jenny sighed at this memory and then leaned forward further off the banister of the bridge supporting her. She slipped forward and suddenly she felt arms encase her. She was dragged back away from the bridge and fell onto the ground which was softer than she had expected. Suddenly realising it was a person underneath her she jumped up and looked down to see same. She turned a deep scarlet shade and turned away. Sam grabbed her arm and yelled "what were you playing at!"
"I was just sat there. Wasn't going to jump, just sitting" she replied softly.
He looked at her face taking in all the small details of her perfectly beautiful face, no flaws present. He opened his mouth but no words would come out as her eyes met his. Speechless he felt her eyes tell stories he was eager to learn about. He reached out a hand to touch her face but stopped half way as he felt embarrassed and did not want to face rejection.
Thoughts rattled though her head, a concoction of love and fear. In her skull she was alone, out in the world she was overcome with reality. She was face to face with perfection. She felt his body close to hers. The feeling of his breath dancing along his neck sent shivers of warmth down her body. She was close to him. A little to close for comfort but as is arms wrapped around her small physique she felt her problems and worries slip away.
Sam pulled out of the hug, natural instincts took over as he placed on had on her cheek bending his neck slightly to reach his lips to hers. Softly he placed his lips against her rouged ones. An enigma of pleasure surpassed he lips. He pulled her closer to him hand on the small of her back. As they retreated from the kiss they both looked to the ground slight pink in their cheeks.
"I actually just wanted to say hi and ask you something, but I guess it's all out in the open now." Jenny said before the both let out a childish giggle. Both, Jenny and Sam exchanged glances towards one another as they ran over the bridge. Wind washed over their bodies. Jenny ran ahead before Sam grabbed her by the waist lifting her feet up from the ground. They both burst out laughing. Jenny faced Sam looking deep into his eyes before kissing his soft lips. Rain skipped over their bodies, clothes clinging to the frames of Jenny and Sam. Completely and utterly soaked the heat from one another's body kept them from shivering.
"I love you Jenny Grace!" Sam shouted as the rain fell upon his skin. Jenny stopped dead in her tracks. A look of concern crossed Sam's face "what is it?" he asked.
Jenny looked at him and said "Sam, this is difficult to tell you, we've only really started talking today I need you to promise me something."
"I promise" were the two words that escaped his lips before Jenny began."
"Sam, I am not the Jenny you think i am. I had a happy childhood. My family moved from place to place seeing sites and creating friends all over the world. By my 8th birthday we settled for a small town in England to live. It was a beautiful cottage by the sea where we lived. On the 11th of September, the year of the twin towers my parents travelled to New York for some important meeting. I was left at home wit ha baby sitter. I had begged my parents to take me. My father looked t me and said "Jenny you can't sweetie. We will see you soon, love you." And like that they were gone. Killed in 9/11. I was then transported into a foster home. Nobody claimed mean dive lived there ever since I was 9 I have moved from home to home. Alone and unwanted. At the innocent young age of 15 I started cutting.
"I remember my first time like it was yesterday. My first affair with the knife. It was a late December night, Christmas has come and gone and all the joy and happiness everyone received had slipped by me. I was alone, completely and utterly alone. As I cleaned the kitchen in the cesspit that was the care home, (however I am still unaware as why they call it a care home, no body cares there. You're alone and no one wants you around there are no battle for love because love doesn't exist in those kinds of places.) As I continued my cleaning a glint caught my eye, like a cat from curiosity I followed the gleam and picked up a knife, long .sharp, cold and metallic. A rush ran over my body sending chills down my spine. I carefully wrapped the knife up in my jacket and created an excuse to leave hell whole for an hour or two.
As I walked down the street my feet tracing the concrete pathway. The bitter night air stung my cheeks, as the darkness enveloped my every move I felt a sense of freedom. I found a spot in a local forest beneath an oak tree. As I sat down I contemplated my life and everything I had been through. I fumbled around for the cold blade. Once found I lifted the arm of my shirt up, I shivered as the cold wrapped around my exposed skin. I took the blade to my skin hesitating as I guided my hand along the blank canvas waiting to be painted. It stung a little a brought a tear to my eye, it was beautiful though and I felt a weight lift from my shoulder as the crimson blood dripped down my arm. Sitting in pure ecstasy and bliss I was in a complete euphoria. This is it I thought. This is my way to escape the pain in reality. A couple of scars or deep wound wouldn't effect me I can easily conceal them. I was more awake and alive than I had ever been. The blood stained my skin and the forest beneath me. The icy air danced a pattern across my body, as I covered up and made my way back to reality and pain once more. My new addiction had me constantly craving the self inflicted pain. Sam, I trust you and have told you about my Pathetic attempt at a life in hope you will keep it between me and you, your lips locked tight. Sam if you really love me you won't pity me you will just try and help me stop like all addictions with cravings they can easily be stopped with support so will you help? Then I moved here stared a crappy new high school have been bullied because of my looks. I developed anorexia and well here I am now battling depression and coping with anorexia."
Sam looked at her stunned for words to say. He pressed his lips on her forehead before walking away into the darkness, his had wrapped tightly around Jenny's as he brought them both back to his place. He snuck her into his room and promised her she could stay the night. As they entered his room jenny stood speechless. Sam often photographed Jenny. Multiple prints of her scattered his once bare walls. Drawings were distributed along the room. One stood out it was a large canvas and drawn in charcoal was Jenny. She was looking straight into the soul of the being who looked at this image. A long sharp blade was in her right hand and a long red line had been traced upon her left arm. The ivory skin littered with scarlet drops. She looked up to Sam and said "what's this?"
"I already knew. That day on the field well your top came up on your arm a little and I saw the scars. And then I knew. I drew this because I am mesmerised by your beauty and this seemed to fit any emotion you have had when I've been around you." They embraced before Sam, admitted he was tired.
"I don't have any clothes to stay the night, ill just go."
"Your fragile i do not pity you it's the fact it's below zero and you can borrow my clothes." He pulled out a stripped t-shirt and a pair of cotton shorts. Jenny removed her wet clothes shivering as the cold hit her bare body. Sam had his back turned as got changed to. Once both changed he placed their clothes on his radiator to dry. They both climbed into his bed snuggling under the comfort of the duvet, Jenny's body curled into Sam's as their legs intertwined. Falling asleep together how it should be.
The next day was a school day. Jenny woke up to find Sam's arms wrapped around her. She shook him awake and said "what am I going to do I have no clothes to wear!"
He took a minute to wake up before winking and playfully saying "how about you go naked."
She pushed him hard and he fell out of the body taking her with him. They giggled but realised the time so quickly got dressed. Sam lent her one of his smaller t-shirts which she paired with her jeans from the previous day. They ran out the door and up the street making it into the horror of school before the bell rang.
As the day progressed Jenny became more tired from sleep depravation. She trailed around the school and made her way to the music block. She walked in the empty room. Just a piano and the echo of her footsteps to keep her company. She paced around the piano and stopped as her fingers trailed along the cream keys. She sat in the seat which gave her comfort and sent memories of when she played before flooding back. She sighed in depression as she began as classical piece. Music filled the room like oxygen in lungs. The classical elegance of the notes flowed around her as she felt at peace once more. Her emotions came out all at once as she attempted her own flair on the music. Her face soft with compassion as she played unaware of Sam's presence in the back of the room.
He stood by the door watching her trail away into the serenity of music. He shuddered as the wind and rain battled against his skin. He shivered as the rain soaked his hair and the cold nipped at his aching bones sometimes he wished he knew what was going on in the complex head of hers.
Sam deeply wanted help her hands play as she stabbed the keys frustrated. But he couldn't interrupt her. Wouldn't that mess with her freedom? Maybe it's for the best, maybe it should be his way he admitted in his head. He longed to kiss her soft lips.
He walked away. Music played through his headphones on the walk home. It was the same music that Jenny had been playing. It sounded foreign when not softly attempted by Jenny. She made everything seem perfect. He looked in his bag and something caught his eye not exactly what he had been expecting. He had been searching for his phone to tell his parents he would be home late but around his phone was a sheet of paper it said;
A wave of breathlessness flew over me, A shard of bliss, I began to see,
The beauty in his dark brown eyes,
His mind was sharp, witty, wise,
His Honesty, almost brutal,
Yet my attempts to look away were futile,
His flowing hair, an auburn copper shimmer,
For In us both immaturity glimmers,
So we had a giggle, I wished he was mine
We shared youthful hearts and happy minds,
A smile was how he set my day,
I smiled when ever he looked my way,
Even if but fleeting glance,
My heart performed a joyous dance,
But yet for all that's said and done,
His heart from then, I had looked for and won.
It was in Jenny's writing. Smooth and scrawny her feelings noted down on this piece of paper. He turned around the paper it was covered in writing. It was rushed and looked like it had been written down in a hurry. 'Nobody will ever know the felling I get when I look into your eyes. The rush I get when we stand together. The weight which realises from my shoulders when we your arms wrap around me. The way your lips feel upon mine. Nobody else will see your true identity. The identity which defies all odds. Your true self is something others may find hard to understand. You're extremely complex others may have given up on you at this point. Your constant mood swings. Your lack in the ability to make decisions. Beyond all that there is you. The real you. The person I fell in love with. Your personality is a mixture of affection and care. From you I breathe in the chemicals of love. You have helped me define who I am as a person. You're not the perfect one. You are the right one. Yes we can stumble across difficult times but let's be honest some things take time to fix but what's the point in being perfectly happy and lying. It's better to be completely happy, honest and say what's on your mind, the truth. If I had to put it in a simile we are almost like cops and robbers. We are lost and useless without the other .without and robber, the cops would have nothing to do and without the cops the robbers would die out. So will you ...'
That's where the paper ran out of space he stopped and looked at it puzzled. What on earth could this of continued on to saying?
Suddenly he felt a sharp pain hit his left side as he plummeted against the ground a warm substance crept over his face and everything went black as he slipped into a surreal world...
She sat there in complete silence only hear shallow breathing filling the vacant room. Her eyes were red from constant crying. The tears which once fell down her cheeks were no more. It was over. Sam was gone and it was all her fault. Jenny's chest ached, guilt and depression mocked her. She had written the note which caused Sam to walk into the road blind. She found out two days after he had been hit. She thought he has been killed and almost took her own life to join him before she stumbled over an article in the newspaper which stated he was in a coma.
Jenny felt empty and alone with him, constantly lying awake contemplating life and crying. She had even turned to praying. Every time she visited Sam she sat by his side his hand wrapped around hers. She looked over to him taking in the beauty of him, his rouged lips slightly parted. She watched his chest rise and fall from the artificial help of the intensive care unit. Softly she would speak "Dear Lord above, if you are real then I ask from you one thing, I know that I am not a Christian and have never prayed in my life and possible ruined any chances I have ever had of getting into heaven because of my attempts to leave this world, but I am asking you save Sam. He is a lying in a hospital bed barely breathing. He doesn't deserve this is you are real what kind of heartless thing are you. He has done nothing wrong in his life he constantly strives to make others happy. If you help him pull though this I will do anything." Then she would kiss his forehead and a tear would roll down her cheek and drop to his face. Every so often people would visit Sam. Rosie would visit she often comforted Jenny, giving her looks of compassion with hints of pity. Jenny felt bad. She had judged Rosie in a bad way perceived her to be a bitch but in reality she was a lovely girl she cared about everything Jenny was feeling and would often tell her she would sit in for her when she was sleeping or showering. This continued with Jenny for restless days on end until the 26th of October.
Sam awoke with a sharp pulsating pain in his head. His whole body felt broken and bruised. He looked up at the ceiling it was strange his vision was slightly blurred. Then his sight was restored as someone placed his glasses on his face. He moved to see who this sight restorer was and felt two weak hands press down on his chest he looked up and saw Jenny. Her eyes were stained red. She looked tired. Her hair was tangled and all over the place. Her face was slightly paler than he last saw. Under her eyes were two dark circles and her whole appearance was completed with a soft smile. Her expression sent chills down Sam's spine. He tried to remember what had happened but was greeted with complete darkness and a stabbing pain in his temple. He looked at Jenny, he started to speak but his voice wasn't there and his throat was killing and was extremely dry. Jenny noted the confusion across his face and said "You got hit by a car, and you're in hospital it's a pretty grim place." She smiled a little and this made Sam smile she returned to her speech "The doctor's thought... You were ... gone." She hesitated on the last word as tears fell from her eyes. "But I knew you would pull though, Sam I love you and want to spend the rest of my life with you so please don't so this again" they both giggled. Sam used all his strength and pulled her into a hug, he wiped the fresh tears from her eyes and kissed her forehead as he winced in pain and spoke with hesitance his voice stopping in-between words. "I am here aren't I silly billy." She softly kissed his lips.
"Jenny I've got something to ask. That Piece of paper I had with me when I was hit have they got it? I was A4 double sided and lined with writing on. Your writing." Sam asked Jenny.
"Yeah, I will go ask." She replied as crimson flushed her cheeks. She ran to the front desk. "Can I ask where are the personal possessions of Sam Fletcher brought in on the 7th of Septemberplease?" Jenny gave a stern glance at the one she had asked signifying it was important.
"Yes young lady well they should be right around here." She replied before wheeling over to a large metal cabinet. "Sam Fletcher. F, F, F. Fletch, Fletcher. Fred Fletcher, Ryan Fletcher. Here we are Sam Fletcher." Jenny grabbed the items and ran back to the room.
"SAM, SAM I've got it!" she exclaimed as she dug around the bag to find the sheet of paper. Jenny handed the blood and dirt coated ripped sheet to Sam. This sheet of paper was the beginning of their lives together. As Sam read through it he found the last sentence. The part where everything cut off. He grabbed a pen and on the small section of paper left her scrawled the worlds.
You marry me. He handed the sheet of paper back to jenny and spoke "I found that life's to short to stay standing in the rut of the past. I have encountered death and it was too close for comfort, I have realised that Jenny you're the one. I will love you no matter what. You may be complicated and very complex and sometimes I hate your mood swings and clinginess. But I have worked though that. The time apart from you made me realise that no matter what state your mind or body is I want you. Only you. I want you in my life forever and always." Sam stopped emphasising the word always and looked in Jenny's eyes as they filled with tears and pulled her into a spine tingling, butterfly creating and heart pounding kiss. Jenny's tears stained both Sam and her cheeks.
"Well?" Sam finally asked as they finished their kiss.
Jenny replied "I"...