Half A Heart
The sun was peeking up over the hill. The soft, yellow light flooded the area with its warmth. The trees stirred and the soft, silent wind blew threw the long ebony hair of Arwen Evenstar. Her face, fairest of all elvenfolk ,shone along with the early morning sun. Her slender frame was seated on the ground, green grass blowing under the gentle caress of the wind.
But, through all her beauty, deep in her eyes was a look of sorrow and longing. It was the hardest choice that she had ever made and would ever have to make yet she knew it was the right one. Despite everything her father had done to prevent it, Arwen Evenstar had chosen a mortal life.
Even though she was breaking her family's heart. Even though she would never see her mother again, in the Undying Lands. Even though she would have to watch her friends and family sail away, never to return. Even though she did not like goodbye's...
She clutched the letters in her hand tighter and sighed. With a deep breath, she closed her eyes. In her mind she saw her mother waiting for her only daughter's ship, one that would never come. She saw a child, her son that would never know his grandparents. She saw her father, tears pouring down his age old, handsome face. She saw everyone mourning for her in Valinor. Worst of all she saw her big brother's hearts breaking, trying to do what was best for her, while also following their hearts.
The wind changed, and she opened her eyes and thankfully the images vanished. Behind her Arwen heard a quiet sound, the sound of feet softly walking. It could only be them. Slowly she looked behind her, there they were.
Tall, handsome, strong, gentle, protective big brothers. Elladan and Elrohir. With a graceful movement, Arwen stood and walked towards them. Written on their faces was heartache, sorrow and guilt. So they had chosen.
She shouldn't feel a fresh dose of pain, she hadn't expected them to stay. But still, the pain was there, seeping through her body, reminding her of her choice. The pain shook her as she remembered everything they had been through together, they were a part of her. Her pale hands clutched the letters tighter.
It was time to speak, to say the words that would forever change her. She opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. What could she possible say? What words would she use to end a lifetime of love, trust and protection and break all three of their hearts? How could explain how she felt in words, mere words, when her emotions raged inside of her? How could she say a final goodbye?
As if the wind knew what Arwen needed, it blew stronger and shifted her hair over her shoulder and into her face. With a curtain of hair as a shield, a single tear fell from one of her beautiful eyes. A single tear to fight back her love for her brothers. When the wind changed, yet again, her hair blew back and the tear was gone.
The letters she so tightly held, blew slightly in the warming air, and Elrohir glanced down at them. With strong, gentle fingers he pried them from her grip. Lifting them up, in his clear voice he read off the names written on each piece of paper. "Nana, Ada, Ro, Dan, Legolas, Haldir, Daernaneth, Daeradar, Elwing, Glorfindel and Erestor."
"You knew", whispered Elrohir. It was neither a question nor exclamation, just a statement. Somehow she knew they would leave her and sail to Valinor. That should make the coming departure easier but it didn't. Elladan took the letter addressed to him, "Dan", Arwen's childhood nickname for him. Dan and Ro, she called them. Simpler times when decisions were easier and didn't break hearts.
Arwen sighed and looked down at her hands pressed together, "Yes, I knew in my heart. I want you to take these letters to Valinor with you and give them to whom they belong when you arrive there." Arwen said all of this calmly, but when she reached the last few words, her voice cracked under the pain and realization as what she was saying finally hit her. She was staying behind and never seeing them again. Ever.
Elladan took all the letters and placed them into his pocket. "Anything you want Ar", he said, a sad smile playing on his handsome face. "I", started Arwen, before she shut her mouth and gazed in turn into her brothers liquid brown eyes. Her eyes, much the same as her brothers, began to blur, and she looked away, over the tree tops where the sun was now trying to climb over. Words failed her yet again.
Elrohir reached out and wiped a tear from his baby sister's eye. "I am so sorry Arwen", he declared softly, "we don't belong here." "But we love you more than this whole world combined" added Elladan in a pained voice . With those words the tears began flowing freely for Arwen and both brothers. It was nearing the end.
Seeing her tears, her brothers pulled her into a bear hug and let her cry until she could physically cry no more, although she felt like crying for all eternity. "I love you both more than words can express", she whispered in her beautiful voice. Pulling away carefully, she looked at each brother with a grief stricken, pained, yet determined gaze.
"I love you so much it hurts, I wish we could all stay together forever. And be happy and safe. Everything that has happened between us, and every word we spoke to each other is all coming back to me and I need you to know I am sorry. For everything, for what I am doing to you, to Naneth to Ada. For breaking us apart But I believe I will be happy here... I am so sorry but I cant leave him." Arwen said all at once, rushing her words like they might fail her at any moment.
"Even though we will miss you, we also know this will make you happy, just promise us you won't forget us", Elladan asked of his sister, his voice sad and dejected. Arwen's tears came faster at her brother's words. "Never! I will always remember you, you are taking a part of my heart with you" Arwen answered honestly.
"And we are leaving a piece behind with you" promised Elrohir, holding at bay a flood of emotions. For a few minutes the siblings just stared at each other, as if memorizing the other face. Arwen broke away from the silent exchange first, giving each brother a hug, whispering a final "goodbye, I love you" to each. They replied in kind, tears still in their eyes. With one last glance they turned and walked away from their baby sister forever.
That was the last time Arwen Evenstar and her brothers, Elladan and Elrohir ever saw each other or spoke to each other again. With tears pouring down her face again, and a pain in her heart that never really faded, she sat down to watch the sun rise. They would always stay a part of her and in her heart where a piece of her was missing, a piece of her brother's hearts rested there.
A new beginning, and end. In time she would heal, but never completely. Thinking of Aragorn, she knew that she was meant to stay. Staying with her mortal love made the pain of her brother's departure easier. Easier, but never easy. Never completely whole, but always knowing she made the right choice.
Yes, the right choice. Even though the tears kept coming. Even though goodbyes broke her heart. Even though she would miss her family. Even though half her heart would always be missing, from when her brothers walked over that hill, away from her forever.
The End
*This made me really sad to write so make me feel better by reviewing please :D That little green button down there !!