Everything is never as seems...

I'm often declared the fearless leader in my family...but it isn't true.

I'm scared of losing everything

I'm terrified of failing when I do my best even when I prepared for it a million times

I'm hurt and weak inside but I hide it so I can be strong on the outside and make sure everyone is safe at all costs

I cry when I am alone and no one can see me because I don't want them to
the responsibilities, the well being of my family and the world is on my shoulders since no one else can bear to hold them

I worry constantly as I meditate at night or anytime I train, thoughts and fears running through my mind

I strive for perfection the only goal I can never achieve...which is a relief and a constant frustration.

I do whatever I can, whenever I can, all precautions are my life's lifeline. They help me stay together.

I never said I was an angel

I never said I wouldn't break down

I take all the damage that would be done to the ones that I care about the most

but most of all...I'm only a teenage mutant ninja turtle

Some things I just can't do not by myself, I'll never admit it out loud

All of this...the mistakes I made cost me

My failures cost my family

My fears make me stronger...at least I want to believe that. Its not true...I'm not perfect and I do have fears.

If you cut me I'll bleed, I know can't erase every mistake I made or will make, I know I let them down in the inside

I know I let them down...

I will keep training harder and harder until I cannot stand it anymore and I am completely serious.

If I am not serious and strict it might cost our lives or worse

I am still fighting for our future because I never want to lose them before its time

Every challenge feels like a storm that tears us apart and I know I'm to blame for all the damage I've done but

my family knows I am ready to take the fall.

I will protect my family even at the cost of my own life!

...why would I go so far for my family?

Because I love them and nothing could or would ever change that.

Not while my name is Leonardo Hamato