100 Ways to Avoid a Disaster
By: MONonoke
MONonoke: by disaster, I mean ANYTHING bad that could EVER possibly happen to someone. Including, but not limited to: Dying, hostage situation, natural disaster, getting in trouble, referring to something (Ex: the party was a disaster), etc.
Warning: As numbers increase (and even before that) the solutions will become less and less relevant, or sane. Ex: #20
Hide under a bush
Grasp onto a tree
Run into a cave
Stay at the nearest house
Make a fort
Duck and cover
Hitch a ride
Ride away on a horse
Pray (doesn't matter to whom)
Ignore it
Wear armor (Al from FMA runs by, Noke hot on his heels)
Call your minions to protect you (only applies to Noke)
Become a turtle and hide in your shell
Take a hostage and threaten the attackers
Build a metal fortress, filled with everything you will need for the rest of your life
Go live in space
Call your animal friends to protect you
Swim to the bottom of a lake and wait
Live underwater (Not the same as #18)
Go to Wonderland
Explode the world (LH: O.o) and escape to another planet
Travel to the future
Become rich and famous
Hire a security/body guard
Cause another ice age
Battle a storm (LH: ? Noke: I've done it before! X3)
Defy the laws of physics
Defeat the gods/God
Prove the Easter Bunny IS real
Find Bigfoot
Travel to the past (Not the same as #22)
Pause time (LH: Like with the remote?)
Find the fountain of youth
Live in the center of the Earth
Find the land of the pixies
Run
Become a dinosaur
Summon a demon
Start a war against the elements (LH: wow…)
Cause the apocalypse
Resurrect Jesus/other deity
Talk to animals and live with them
Burn EVERYTHING!!! (Pyro: BURN BURN BURRRRNNNN!!!!!)
End all wars and genocide and hatred
Live with aliens (Not the same as #16)
Hijack a UFO (Not the same as #45)
Change history
Scream
Have your dog/other pet eat everything (starting with homework)
Jump into a black hole
Become a superhero by jumping into radioactive sludge, a volcano, etc.
Freeze self and be brought back to life by scientists. (Snow: YEESSSSSS!!!! XD)
Grow wings and fly
Fly to the moon (Not the same as #16)
Live in a TV show/cartoon/anime
Teleport away
Build a robot
Summon the monster(s) that live in your closet and under your bed to protect you (Kari: I suggest bribing them with candy…I like candy… Noke: WHO DOESN'T?!?!)
Call your parents for help
Look up how to survive on the internet
Read How to Avoid a Disaster for Dummies for ideas.
Be one with the Earth
Live on a deserted island in the middle of nowhere
Find the Wizard of Oz
Become a traveling circus performer (the circus travels away from disasters)
Become immortal (Not the same as #33, cuz if you stay away from the fountain for too long, YOU DIE!!!! Noke: MUAHAHAHA!!!)
Get abducted by aliens (Not the same as #45, which is not the same as #16)
Cast a spell
Become a plant (Ivy: Yippee!!)
Become a ninja
Lie (don't tell the truth)
Become a shadow (Eclipse: YESSSSSSSS…)
Go into your basement
Get glasses
SPRINKLES!!! Kari: CANDY!!! Wait…their not candy? …dang it…
Ask scientists
Think
Go into a coma
Follow the yellow brick road
Create an invisible shield/wall around you
Possess people to do your will (Spectra: hehehe…)
Find the 7 dwarves and ask them for help
#dgbjkj …PURPLE!!!
Get advice from Grandma
Become BFFs with the grim reaper (Spectra: NO! He's MY best friend!! –growls menacingly-)
Ask a hobo how he/she avoids disasters
Develop gills and live with merpeople
$% YOUR MOM
Have great Karma
Cry
Sing
Evolve superhuman traits (may take a while so start in advance)
Do whatever your attackers tell you to (only if the hostage idea fails)
Create a super secret hideout (a.k.a. hide under your bed)
Make a batch of Fille Fiable (luck potion from Harry Potter)
Bribe whatever happens to be the cause of the disaster to go away (Kari: I still suggest candy, it's as good as money!!!)
Go to the Feudal Era of Japan and live with Inuyasha and pals (Shippo: pals! Ha! Yeah right! More like Kagome's pals, with Inuyasha just tagging along! Inuyasha: Shut up, Shippo. Kagome: Sit boy! Inuyasha: -bam!-)
Disable the security system
World Domination!
Become a robot (Not the same as #57)
Seal your soul into a suit of armor (Like Al from FMA!)
Become a dictator (not the same as #97)
Become a ghost!!! (Sayo: It's actually not that great… but whatever! More people for me to talk to!)
LH and MONonoke: YESSSSSSSS!!!! WE MADE IT!!!! 100 Way to Avoid a Disaster is finally complete!!!! (even though fanfiction will say that it only took one day, it actually took about 3 or 4… lack of ideas… lol)
LH: Most of the credit for this story goes to MONonoke, though I did make up a few of these, and added all of the random comments. Also if you want to know who Spectra, Ivy, Snow, Pyro (or Pyra) and Eclipse are… well they are some of my OC's. They are each a manifestation of one of Hikari's powers (Since Hikari has all 17 powers/types from Pokemon) Spectra is Ghost. Ivy is Grass/Plant. Snow is Ice. Pyra is Fire (and a Pyromaniac, hence the nickname, Pyro). And Eclipse is Dark/Shadow.
I'm also just going to include a list of the rest of them because I don't feel like putting them on my profile along with the rest of the OC's…
So here they are!
Hikari (Normal)
Lumina (Psychic/Light)
Eclipse (Dark/Shadow)
Pyra (Fire)
Ivy (Grass/Plant)
Snow (Ice)
Aqua (Water)
Spectra (Ghost)
Sparky (Electric)
Dragora (Dragon)
Pixii (Bug)
Kaze/Windy (Flying/Air)
Terra (Ground)
Adamant (Rock)
Hitima (Fighting)
Venori (Poison)
Silver (Steel)
Some of the names are REALLY crappy, I know… You try thinking up a name for a poison type!
But…yeah I'm going to be including them in a fanfic idea that I have…that is if I can ever figure out how it is going to begin…
Oh…Right!
MONonoke: Cookies are not your friends! They are PURE EVIL!!!! And… THE CAKE IS A LIE!
LH and MONonoke: See ya!