DISCALIMER: I don't own CSI Miami and i don't make any money from it

Calleigh on (e)X

It was early morning and Calleigh were woken up by someone kissing her roughly.

"Mmmm" she let out as she looked at Jake though the morning haze, he was on top of her and it was pretty obvious what he wanted.

"To tired" the blonde let out as she looked into his brown eyes.

"Oh come on beautiful" he said and started to kiss her neck with sloppy wet kisses.

"No" she said and hardly pushed him of so he ended up on the floor with a huge thump before she turned to continue sleeping just as her alarm went of and she let out a grunt.

"GOD" she annoyed let out as she got out of bed and headed towards the bathroom where she turned the shower on, she was not in the mood for Jake or work right now, she just wanted a little rest for a change.

"Calleigh" she heard Jake from outside the shower curtain.

"Go away, I have to get ready" she annoyed said feeling the water falling down from over her.

"I got you new supply" he said in a soft tone.

"You did, wonderful, I hate being without, how much do I owe you" said Calleigh happily.

"You can owe me back the regular way" he said and got into the shower with her.

"I said I don't wanto lego" she said annoyed starting to fight him of.

"Come on, you always pay that way and you know you need the stuff to function" he said and nailed her against the wall, he back facing him.

"Jake, you're hurting me, let me go" she said, her voice was steady, but she also knew he wouldn't let her go and go further, so she managed to do as so many times before, get her body ready for him to enter her. Which he did and cum shortly after, before he got out and left for work saying her supply was on her nightstand.

Calleigh let out a huff before she got out of the shower, put her clothes on, grabbed a bit of the supply and headed for work.

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At work Calleigh took up a pill glass and took out a blue pill with a butterfly on, she looked at it for a second, it was kind of cute looking like the candy you would give to children, but it of course was far more dangerous. She swallowed it quickly and put the pill glass back in her purse, before she picked up a gun, or more precise a smith and wesson 1911 to test fire.

The blonde let it rest in her hand for a short second before she aimed and pulled the trigger. Perfection. She smiled just as Horatio entered her sanctuary and said: Nice shoot.

Calleigh startled as she turned and said: Why thank you Horatio.

"So is that my bullet?" he asked.

"I surly hope not" she said with a slight giggle which made him smile at her.

"You know what I meant" he said.

"Yeah let's have a look" she replied, got the bullet and placed it under the microscope, she was just about to get a clearer view when her sleeve slide up and he noticed a blue marks around her wrists.

"Calleigh what are those?" he asked.

"Not your problem" she said and pulled the sleeve down again before she concluded that the bullet was not the one they were looking for, so she let it run through the database as he looked at her and asked: Did Jake do that to you, he's not haring you is he?

"No we're completely fine, we just like it rough, you don't need to worry" she said.

"You are not using again are you?" he asked.

"Of course not, what kind of a fool do you take me for" she snapped at him.

"I'm sorry I just don't want anything to happen to you" he said calmly.

"Just don't worry ok, I'm completely fine" she said looking at him, he suddenly in her eyes looked different, how she couldn't figure out.

"I can only take your word for it" he said as the bullet made a hit which shockingly enough was a match to a gun recovered in a robbery a couple of weeks earlier.

"How did that end up in the head of a teenager" said Calleigh shocked.

"No idea, but I'm about to find out as I'm brining in the owner for questioning again" he said and left her alone.

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Calleigh felt happy, very happy, she was floating on purple skies and felt great, she wanted to dance and rejoice, but at the moment it wasn't the right time or place, she was at a funeral for one of the victims that lab had worked with the last month, a father of two, the case was to sad.

Being there at the church made Calleigh think about her future, she tried to see if she could see it with Jake, but figured she couldn't which made her think maybe he wasn't the right one. But she did love him that much she knew, wonderful, handsome Jake, even of she didn't always like the way she treated her, but still he was a great guy.

Not to mention how good he was in bed when he really wanted to please her, it made her shiver of joy, then the same morning popped into her head and she felt like a slut. A drug whore. Like the addict she was, she tried to think back on when she dated Jake the first time, back then she didn't have a job that could pay her habit and she had been sleeping around to earn money and it occurred to her that it was kind of what she was doing now, only this time she was only sleeping with Jake. Jake the snake. He was always there when she didn't want him and never there when she needed him. And she always ended up being hurt one way or another.

Silent tears started to fall from her eyes, not because of the funeral, but the situation she was in, her mind went to Tim, he died because of the gun that malfunctioned, but she know the main reason for that was the drugs he had taken at the time. Then her mind went over to Horatio's brother Raymond that also had died do to drugs. Now she was crying so hard that she was shaking.

Horatio that was sitting next to her looked over at the dissolved Calleigh, he had only seen her this broken up two times before, the night she had told him she wanted to stop using and the night Tim died, they had been together after the funeral comforting each other just by he sitting by her as she restlessly slept through the night, holding her when necessary, just being there.

The red haired put his arms around Calleigh and let her burry her head in his chest crying sadly as he gently tried to calm her, not knowing what was wrong only that it was painful for her.

He looked against the aisle, soon everyone was leaving the church, soon the two of them was the only one left and he asked: Sweetheart what is wrong?

"Everything" she let out clinging even harder to him.

"Calleigh please tell me if you are using" he said.

"Would it matter if I did, you can not change me, I will always go back, I did so after Jake and the rehab it was just horrible I can not do that again" she said.

"But you can not work if you are on drugs" he replied honestly.

"Handsome I'm scared, really scared, I can not get on and of, it's too hard and if I'm on and something happens I might, yet I love it so much" she said.

"If you get of can you stay of?" he asked her honestly.

"I don't think so, it's so hard and my urges are so strong, I can't explain it, please don't send me to rehab again, I can not go through that, hate that place, you made the exception for Marisol can't you do that for me to?" she pleaded.

"She was sick" he said with a heavy sigh.

"I am to, but in another way, please don't fire me, the job is all I got" she said.

"Calleigh" he said in a warning tone.

"Please I beg you handsome, but now I really have to go as I promised Jake to be home after the funeral" she said.

"Is this his fault?" he asked.

"Not only his, I was messed up to begin with, but I see you tomorrow handsome" she said and gave him a soft kiss before she left the church.

It was as he watched her leave it occurred to Horatio that she had called him handsome, she had done that before many years ago when they were working a case, and when she had the two horrible nights before her rehab, she had cried out to him, been shaking and been so far down that he had been scared for her well being.

When he had gotten her into rehab, he had tried to do the same for Tim for no use, and when Hagen had died he knew Calleigh had been using for a short while to be able to function, but she had stopped after that, but now she was back.

Horatio knew she had been dating Jake ages ago and he predicted he was bad news and as long as he was around he couldn't get her of, again his mind went to his brother as so many times before, it was not fair, but that was the way life was he concluded as he walked out of the church and went home.

A few nights later Calleigh was in a cuddly mood, she was feeling the need to be intimate with someone, she hadn't seen Jake in two days which wasn't exactly something new, but now she needed him dearly, she tried calling, but he didn't pick up.

"Need someone" she though and called Horatio and he quickly said: Calleigh.

"What are you doing?" she asked him.

"Nothing much, just been over to talk to Kyle, why?" he asked.

"Would you mind coming over, feel alone…" she said with a sigh.

"I dunno if that is a good idea, you are after all with Jake" he said not wanting to be with another man's girl.

"He's not here" she said.

"I know…" he replied.

"What are you thinking right now?" she asked.

"You" was the replay.

"What about me, do you wish I was yours?" she said.

"I do yes, but on the other hand that wouldn't have worked since we work together" he said.

"You could really see a future with me" she said happily.

"I could that yes, but really we shouldn't talk about that, and if that ever were to happen you would have to change and you already said you can not do that" he said with a sigh.

"I'm sorry handsome, really I am" she said honestly.

"Well that is life, but I need to go" he said and with that he hung up.

Calleigh reached for her pill glass and swallowed one white with a dove, trying to ease her pain lingering for the man she wanted she slowly drifted of.

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Jake and Calleigh were probably the couple that didn't fit together at all. The functioned together more or less that was and they apparently loved each other, yet they were not the right match, not that they would ever admit that as they had come to be dependent on each other because of their need for drugs. He supplied her and she gave him what he wanted back.

He was using her like she was using the drugs he gave her and they never seemed to get enough. Neither one would turn the other in so in that way they were safe. She ignored his affairs and he ignored that she might be in love with Horatio.

He was involved when her car was run of road which was when they hooked up again and also when she got taken into questioning for to many drinks, that he took the fall for later as she was mad as hell when she got home that day.

Jake may be ok with Horatio, but not by Eric lurking around his girl as Eric was like a lovesick puppy dog and Jake hated that, he hoped he could trust her, but he wasn't sure if he could trust Eric.

When the people at the lab though the two of them had ended it, they had in fact continued only more private, her request, she didn't want her precious Horatio to know she was still popping pills and by letting him thing he was gone he would also think the same of her habit.

The thing was on Jake you could tell that he was taking, on Calleigh, you could hardly tell at all, yes she did show some signs now and again, but nothing major, she was good at hiding it.

This night Calleigh and Jake was out dancing, or rather she was dancing he was at the bar surrounded by girls and now Calleigh had had it, she was feed up, so she walked over and told her exactly what she felt which lead to a major argument that ended in her leaving in tears.

Calleigh a moment later knocked on Horatio's door, he opened and gasped, there she was in the middle of the night, the only problem was that he wasn't alone this time, Julia was spending the night, so he got out on the front step to talk to her.

"You're not gonna let me in?" she asked surprised.

"Uhm got company" he said.

"Who?" was her only question.

"Julia" he said.

"What, why would you be with her" she said shocked.

"So I can't be with whom I want now" he said.

"Yeah, but I though" she said and looked down.

"That I would wait for you forever" he said with a sigh.

"It's all messed up" she said turning his back on him so he wouldn't see her tears.

"Calleigh please don't cry, me an Julia we are not together like that, she just have rough nights now and again and I am there for her, she's after all the mother to my son" he said honestly.

"I feel lost Horatio" she said.

"Do you want me to guide your way back?" he asked her.

"Dunno exactly" she said honest.

"Really what do you want bulletgirl, because you are sending me mixed signals, do you want to be with me or?" he said.

"I dunno, I can not think clearly, can you just hold me" she begged him.

Horatio put his protective arms around her and said: It's going to be ok.

"Need to get home, need to think" she let out as she broke free and started to walk in the direction of her house while he thought "I'll wait for you, forever if I have to bulletgirl".

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It was a few days later and Jake was leaving, but before doing so he asked Calleigh if she was willing to wait for him, bus she couldn't, he had hurt her to much and Calleigh wanted to stop for real this time and she couldn't do that with Jake around or if she promised to wait for him.

As he let the blonde started to shiver slightly as her tears started to fall again, and in addition to that she didn't feel well. Soon she was on the floor of her sanctuary not breathing.

She lay there peacefully, like he was sleeping, only difference was her pale face, Horatio knew at once what had happened when he found her. He sat down next to his bulletgirl feeling her pulse, it was weak, but yet there as he called for an ambulance, hoping it wouldn't be too late. He just sat next to her, holding her hand and praying she would stay with him, he couldn't stand the though of loosing yet another person that he loved so dearly.

Horatio was resting his head against Calleigh's hospital bed, she had been pumped and now she was hooked up to the machines peacefully sleeping. As was he.

"Horatio" she suddenly said with unsteady voice.

"Calleigh, how are you feeling?" he asked.

"Tired, what happened, why am I here" she said.

"You got an overdose, you are lucky I found you in time" he said.

"I'm really sorry, didn't mean to do that" she said looking down.

"I want you to stop using" he said harshly.

"I don't want to go back to rehab, it's horrible and I don't like it there at all you know that" she said.

"Then what do you suggest, Calleigh I almost lost you" he said, his voice was shivering.

"Just let me deal with it my own way" she said.

"What that made you come here in the first place" he said shocked.

"Don't push me, not ready yet, please" she begged him.

"Fine have it your way, but don't come to me when you get in trouble again" he said annoyed and left as he walked away he regretted his words as he could hear she was crying behind him.

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