Loved You Before….

Disclaimer: Still not mine, despite my repeated offers to adopt them.

Author's Note: Just a Valentine's Day one shot…because if anyone deserves a Valentine's Day moment, it's these two! Lyrics to the Melissa Etheridge song that inspired this one are at the end…just a gorgeous song. I think it is beautiful to think that you could share so much with another person and I think this would be an amazingly appropriate song to backdrop Booth and Brennan's 'moment of realization' about their relationship.

Booth had never believed in reincarnation, but he did not know how else to explain what he felt when he looked into her eyes. It had not been an instantaneous connection between them- there had been sparks and from the first day he had met her, the attraction with undeniable. But this was something more- not just about her looks or her brains or the heat that existed between them. And it wasn't about nearly dying and trying not to take things for granted when you accept that you are still alive. If Booth were a more whimsical man, he's say it was destiny or fate…or some other intangible force that had brought her into his life. He was certain she would laugh if she even knew that thought had crossed his mind. He really was at a loss to explain the intrinsic bond that existed between them. All he knew was that she filled a space in his universe that he had not even been aware existed before he met her. Sometimes, he would try to imagine what might have happened to him if they had never become partners and no matter what conclusion he reached, he knew that the universe would be out of alignment if things were different. They belonged- with each other- forever.

Brennan was aware that he knew her with an intimacy neither of them had experienced before. It was not just because she let down her carefully constructed barricades so he could see more of her than any other person ever had. It was beyond that. It felt like they had been together for a thousand lifetimes and just kept finding their way back to one another. She knew it was irrational and illogical to think that you could know someone for longer than the finite lifetime of the corporeal body, but something inside her acknowledged that what she and Booth shared extended far beyond the transient passage of earthly time. If she had believed there was such a thing as a soul, she knew that he would inhabit hers. For most of her life she had never trusted anyone, never let people get too close to her. With him, it was like she had no choice- the only option was to become so emotionally entangled that she could no longer determine where the separation of their beings began, or if a division existed at all. Perhaps they had actually merged into one continuous entity. It was crazy to even consider that, but somehow she thought that if an experiment could be devised to test the theory, it might actually prove to be true.

And so, tonight they are sitting at a table looking into each other's eyes and wondering where it all began and thinking that it will not ever end. Neither one of them knows when nor how their hands joined together, but now Booth's fingers squeeze Brennan's palm, his thumb rubbing across her wrist in a soothing repetitive motion. There is music playing and other people talking as the two of them sit in their comfortable silence with no awareness of anything except each other. At first she had laughed when he suggested they share a Valentine's Day dinner, commenting that it was a strange thing to do together when they were not even lovers. When Booth had held her gaze, she had read something in his eyes and understood that he also knew what she had realized a long time ago. The true definition of the word lover is simply "one who loves" and in the purest sense of the word, they were lovers, for no one else had ever loved either of them in the same way they loved each other. The intimacy they share is ancient, sacred and eternal. When she turns her hand slightly in his, her own fingers mimic his action and gently trace his pulse. As one moment stretches into the next, they both realize that their lives are passing in a synchronized rhythm- the steady cadence of his heart mirrored by hers. Whatever new horizons they cross in their relationship, they both know that it comes back to this- the purity of already being completely together in all the ways that matter.

I've Loved You Before- Melissa Etheridge

(From the recording The Awakening)

When I think of how you know me,
No doubts, no thinking twice.
When your smile can be so soothing,
a familiar paradise.
When there's no one else that makes me whole.
I am never needing more
I get this feeling that I have loved you before.

Were we lovers in an army,
marching off for Rome?
Side by side in battle,
did we bravely leave our home?
Did I hold you in my arms,
as you were taking your last breath?
Did I shout to all the gods,
that I would love you beyond death or more?
I swear I've loved you before.

Did we hide in the dark ages,
from a vengeful god above?
Were our names too unfamiliar,
to ever speak of love?
Did I cling to every moment with you,
every parting glance?
An accidental touch,
did we ever take the chance for more?
I know I've loved you before.

Have I wandered through the desert?
Have I looked to the North Star?
Have I rode the days and nights on rails,
to get back where you are?
And every time I found you,
it's your eyes I know for sure.

When I think of how you know me,
no doubts no thinking twice.
When your smile can be so soothing,
a familiar paradise.
When there's no one else that makes me whole.
I am never wanting more.
I get this feeling.
I know I've loved you before.