The house was dim and awfully quiet, most of his family were either out in a killing mission or locked in their rooms minding their own business. He was standing at the end of the hall panting heavily and his eyes were bloodshot, wide open from the shock. He leaned on the wall before sliding down slowly.

Clenching his bloodied hands tightly.

He remembered the betrayed look on his friend eyes, he remembered his last words very clearly. Looking down at his hands, these are the hands that killed Gon. the hand of who Gon thought he was his best friend. He chocked and gritted his teeth trying to block the sob but he failed anyway and broke down into loud sobs.

"Killua what are you doing?" the cheerful voice of Gon reached Killua, his eyes shines so brightly that it hurts to look at him.

"Killu, what's wrong" Gon said with concerned tone as he saw his friend getting closer and looking abnormal. The mischievousness aura around him were gone. Replaced by a dark one. He looked drained and exhausted.

Gon couldn't see Killua's eyes because they were hidden under his bangs, Killua kept silent and got closer to Gon. There was something weird about Killua that Gon couldn't put his finger on it. He looked dangerous. Even-Gon-Can't-get-close-to-him kind of dangerous.

"Gon" said Killua softly as he kept on getting closer.

"Hmm?" hummed Gon singling to Killua to continue.

"I'm tired"

"Well, you can go back and..."

"Of you"

"w-what?" concern took over Gon, first Killua was acting strange and now saying this, he lowered his head a little trying to steal a look at Killua's eyes but failed, his bangs were keeping it well hidden.

"I have to act like I'm someone else when I'm around you, I can't be who I really am. I have been traveling with you aimlessly for too long. You said I'll find something I want right? but I didn't. You know why? Because I'm a killer, this is my nature. This is WHO I AM" blurted Killua before raising his voice at his last three words as he glared at Gon finally showing his eyes. Gon couldn't help but feel his eyes watering and felt his lower lip twitching upwards. He gulped and bit on his lower lips. He never saw this Killua, THIS Killua is very different from the one he knew.

"I-I never knew you felt like that Killua! I'm sorry okay? You never said anything and I thought…" his voiced trailed as he looked at his friend in shame with tears filling his eyes.

"Of course you didn't Gon, you were busy saving everyone" replied Killua with sarcasm dripping from his voice, he leaned into Gon. He was invading Gon's personal space and he didn't mind it. He was staring right into Gon's soul through his eyes.

"I can't take it anymore, I want to return to my family knowing there is no one that would chase after me. I want to get back to where I belong and become my true self again. But this time I will return not leaving anything that will disturb my peace"

"Killua" started Gon, but this time he was interrupted by Killua's hand that went through his body to reach his heart. He felt the air being sucked out of his lungs, he couldn't breathe and his vision was getting blurry. His eyes shot wide looking at the ceiling. He inhaled sharply few times then looked down slowly to meet Killua's cold eyes. There was no emotions or shine in Killua's eyes, his facial expressions' were blank and looked almost like as if he was bored.

"I'm sorry Killua, I did that because I thought you were different from your family" Gon forced the words out surpassing the chocks and trying to focus his vision on Killua, but he couldn't. Everything got too blurry and bright that he had to close his eyes and slowly drift to what he thought was sleep. But he didn't miss Killua last sentence.

"Die Gon"

His loud sobs didn't stop, he can still hear Gon's last sentence. He is positive that he doesn't regret taking his soul, but he didn't think it would pain him like this. He pulled his knees to his chest and shielded himself shakily with his arms. Putting his head on it, his mind started replaying his memories with his dead friend, he let out a sigh, keeping still for a moment then his body started to shake as he let out a deep, muffled chuckle.

The chuckle turned into a loud maniac laugh, he threw his head back, shutting his eyes and laughed really hard as if he was mocking himself, of course he wasn't different from his family. Gon was silly for thinking like that, he enjoyed the pleasure that comes from killing people. That's his nature.

his laugh died as soon as he felt a hand on his shoulder. He opened his eyes to meet a black orbs that were looking at him.

"You're back Killu" The raven haired stated with the usual quiet, blank voice of his.

Smirked Killua at his brother, Illumi moved away to allow Killua to stand up, he watched him as he stood up.

"Yes Aniki, and this time it will be forever"

Illumi titled his head a little before putting his hand on his chin and ask "Care to explain more?"

"I am back Aniki" Killua got closer to his older brother "I forgot that you were always right, I killed him. Because I can't have friends. And there is nothing that I desire or want. I want to be who I am again. A killer" he looked down for a split seconds before smirking again and continuing "I'm not going anyway anymore. At least, not away from you. Aniki, I want one more chance to be your partner again" Killua said in a serious tone despite the smirk on his face.

Illumi let out a low chuckle and closed his eyes for moment still keeping his lips smiling. He opened it again and gave his younger brother a meaningful look.

"You can be my partner Killu, in more than a way"

soo.. ^^'?