Of Sanity and Synchronicity

Arendelle's winter ball was renown throughout the neighboring lands as a festive and happy event. And all of the nobles on its borders hoped beyond reason to receive a personal invitation to it. Queen Elsa personally wrote out the invitations, and the event was looked forward to with great expectation.

The ballroom was bathed in an ethereal light, one that was meant to please all those in attendance. Candelabras were set at various tables that surrounded the dance floor and the main chandelier in the middle of the room burned with the luminescence of at least a thousand candles. A fireplace, set on the northern wall of the great rectangular room, roared with flames that seemed to beat in time with the dancers who now graced the dark hardwood floor.

The Queen sat at the Royal table on the southern wall of the room, surrounded by nobles of the most powerful duchies of the land. Her plush blue chair looked more like a throne, and she was comfortably seated on it, a goblet of fine wine cradled in her right hand. She listened to the waltz with a veiled amusement. The piece was meant to entice her to the dance floor, but it had the opposite effect, and kept her seated where she was.

The Duke of Sothesby, who was seated to the Queen's right, lifted his goblet and offered a toast to his Queen. "Long live Elsa of Arendelle!"

Everyone dutifully lifted their glasses and drank to the toast, along with the Queen, who didn't take her eyes off the floor. "Thank you, my Lord."

"My pleasure, Your Grace." The duke eyed Elsa, and noticed that her fingers were keeping time with the rhythm of the waltz. "May I be so bold as to inquire of Her Majesty?"

The Queen merely nodded. "You may."

"Would you grant your servant the privilege of this waltz, my Queen?"

Elsa looked over to the bearded man and regarded him. The duke was excessively handsome with cleanly cropped blonde hair that was a stark contrast with his black military uniform. She could find no guile in his gaze, so she gracefully stood and offered her hand. All at the table stood and smiled when the duke took the Queen's hand and led her to the to the middle of the floor.

The Queen allowed the duke to gently lead her in the waltz. "And how fares Sothesby, my Lord?"

"We prosper, my Queen. Crops are plentiful and our herds flourish." The duke dipped the Queen and smiled at the slight blush that followed. "And we all are indebted to Your Majesty for such a splendid year."

Elsa smiled again, but the gesture did not quite reach her heart, and that was a bit troubling. She knew full well the reason for it. It happened every year, usually around the time of this winter ball, when her nobility—stalwart and loyal—would put the slightest pressure on her to choose a spouse, and secure Arendelle's future. It was not that she was set against finding a companion, but the young men who paraded in front of her at these occasions were less than satisfying. In fact, as the years went by—seven, exact, since her parent's untimely death in a carriage accident—the idea of attaching herself to a young Lord, well, her heart just wasn't in it.

The Queen found her thoughts returning to the duke who was gracefully leading their dance and for a moment she felt—nothing. Elsa cringed on the inside, fully aware that the man was interested, but she wasn't. And if one were to be honest, as she dearly wanted to be in all things, men held no appeal for her.

There it was, that was it.

She tried to tell her parents, numerous times, when she was still in her youth. When all the other privileged girls would talk about their future husbands, Elsa would just remain silent, and wish for a princess like her. Her designs fell on the feminine form, the soft curve of a hip, and the swell of amble breasts…

Elsa slowly stopped their movements and gracefully took the man's hand in between her own. "If you will excuse me, my Lord, but I am feeling a bit tired."

"If you'll excuse me, my Lady."

And with that Elsa curtsied and hurriedly made her way back to her royal chair. She knew if she stayed one more minute on the floor she just might have froze his hands, and she desperately did not want these people to know about her one and only—character flaw, as she saw it.

The Queen looked at her hands, neatly folded on her lap, and realized she was restless for something, anything to drive away the blues that were threatening to make this evening sour. Her thoughts darkened a bit as a new idea formed, one that she had not considered before because either she was too young or… But now, at twenty-four years old, and never having experienced even her first kiss.

But, as Queen, she had to consider and monitor her actions lest she create a scandal and tarnish her pristine rule. In other words, her options were limited. Elsa glanced over to the main door to the ballroom and noticed her head butler, Kai, standing at attendance and wondered just how discrete he could be relied on to be. Because her current line of thinking was leading her to a scenario quite unbefitting a Queen, and she was, in all circumstances, a proper Queen.

Elsa lowered her head and blushed just a little before finally rising to her feet. And as was customary amongst her nobles, they rose as she did. "If you will excuse me for a moment, my Lords and Ladies."

The butler noticed immediately as the Queen made her way over to him and he stood at attention, straightening out his uniform. "Your bidding, Madame."

Elsa nervously fiddled with the gloves she was holding. "Kai, I wondering, if perhaps it would be possible for me to…to leave the castle without a proper entourage?"

"Without an escort, my Queen?" The man shook his head. "I would not advise it, especially at night."

"I see." Elsa nodded. "But if one were to leave the castle at night—with the proper escort, of course—and wanted to be discrete about it, how would one go?"

Kai eyed his Queen warily, and wondered just what she was up to. "I can't really tell you, your Majesty."

The Queen's brow rose. "Oh, and why not?"

"There is an entrance on the east side of the castle where goods are exchanged with the port. Some of the staff use that as a means to…well, come and go without notice."

"And why would any of the staff want to do that?" The Queen was surprised, not having had prior knowledge of this behavior.

Kai cringed, then said, "There is an alley that borders this entrance and it leads to several taverns and, well, brothels, my Queen."

Elsa's eyes went wide, and found the exact information that she was looking for. Yet, she feigned indignation. "I trust that you will personally see that this practice is frowned upon, Kai?"

"I will do her Majesty's bidding, yes." Kai was about to leave when the Queen placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Write a decree tonight, will you, declaring that this behavior will no longer be tolerated by me. But leave a clause stating that the Queen's soldiers are exempt from this rule." Elsa turned to leave, but then stopped at the door to look at Kai. "Will you have my dressmaker report to me in my chambers, now, Kai."

"As you wish, Madame."

Several hours later, in the Queen's enormous walk-in closet, Elsa paused and looked at herself in her mirror and wondered if this was a good idea. At part of her was exhilarated at the idea, but the greater part of her, her practical side, balked at the whole scheme. The Queen was torn. But even in her uncertainty there was that voice inside her that spoke of freedom.

She ran her hands over the clean front of the uniform she now wore and had to admit that she did, indeed, look good in it. The black trousers were stripped in red on the outside seam, and the insignia on the matching black jacket was that of an officer, along with the appropriate medals for valor. Elsa tugged at the tight collar, embroidered in a darker red and then slipped the black gloves over her hands.

Freedom.

The Queen repeated that one word over and over again as her plan formed flawlessly in her mind. She went over every detail of it to carefully make sure there would be no slip-ups. Even her dressmaker had been fooled; thinking that the uniform was for some future costume party.

Freedom.

Elsa had to admit to herself that this was for more than just freedom. Her social awkwardness was well apparent to herself, having not the benefit of any siblings ever. And when her parents died she secluded herself away from any prying eyes and well-wishers. In other words, her formative years were bereft of companionship, and to a certain degree, even friends. Oh, there were the children of the nobility that roamed the castle with their parents at civic and royal events, but she had never fully connected with any of them.

There was one notable exception, however. Prince Hans of the Southern Isles. They immediately liked each other, and shared many secrets over the years that she knew him. He was a sweet boy, and visited quite often with his family before her parents died, and even more so when they were gone. But Hans had taken ill shortly after his last visit, and after a short illness, passed away, leaving her even more alone and isolated.

Elsa rested her hands on her bureau and resisted the urge to cry at that last thought. Hans literally being the only friend she had ever had, and he was gone just like her parents. It wasn't until she re-read his letters a few years after his death did she realize that the young man was prone to the same proclivities that she was, only he had his eyes on young men, and not women.

The Queen took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, her head still down. "Elsa, Elsa—what are you doing?" She jerked her hands away when frost began to form on the hard wood.

The universe offered no answers, and truth be told, she wasn't expecting any. Elsa eyed herself one last time before making her way to the door. She peered out and saw her Ladies in Waiting in her bedroom, waiting for her. "Excuse me?"

Her ladies turned to curtsy to her and one spoke up. "Yes, Your Majesty?"

"I have decided that I am done for the evening so you may all retire for the night."

After several, "Yes, your Majesty" followed the ladies left, and Elsa fully emerged from the closet. She noticed the officer's cloak hung over a chair in her room and placed it around her shoulders. When she put its hood over her head and re-checked herself in the mirror she could not tell that her reflection was female and she sighed in satisfaction.

Elsa opened the door to her main parlor and looked outside. No one was around so she slowly made her way to the hallway, and just looked like one of her guards, making his nightly rounds.

Kai was right. The east entrance to the castle was an ideal spot to sneak out if one wanted to be discrete because the Guard Post was erected closer to the docks than at the door itself. Elsa easily found herself on the outside of her castle, and nobody was paying any attention to her. There were a few palace soldiers at the ramp that led to the docks but they just ignored her, thinking that she was just one of them.

Elsa pulled the cloak closer around her uniform and found the alley right away. It was narrow and the only light to illuminate it came from the back entrances to various taverns and houses of ill repute. Elsa carefully dodged piles of garbage and dung as she made her way down the small alley until she finally stopped at one establishment that didn't look as run down as the ones she passed up. Careful to keep her hood up, the Queen slowly opened the door and looked inside.

It was a modest sized tavern illuminated by a large fireplace on one end of it with various tables scattered about that large hearth. Various casks of ale lined the opposite wall along with a long bar with a table for bottles of wine. The Queen stepped up to the bar and leaned on it like she saw other patrons do. The barkeeper came over to her.

"What can I get you, soldier?" The man continued to clean the stein he was holding.

Elsa cleared her throat and tried to use her deepest voice. "Ale." She cringed as her voice sounded rather pathetic.

The barkeeper chuckled. "How old are you, boy?"

The Queen felt aggravated. "I'm old enough to be in here, aren't I?"

"Are you now?" He leaned over the bar in an attempt to see the soldier better.

"Yes." Elsa pulled the hood over her face a little more. When the man stopped eyeing her she relaxed a bit.

"Fine by me, lad. If you're old enough to fight for Arendelle, you're old enough to drink in my bar."

Elsa sighed and accepted her ale. She took a huge swallow to calm her nerves and then looked about the room. Beside the usual single patrons in the establishment there were couples, sitting at the scattered tables, gazing dazedly into each other's eyes. She was fascinated at such public displays of affection, and in the end, felt a certain enviousness—even jealousy.

The Queen turned back to the bar and immediately let go of her cup of ale, as a light frost began to grow on its handle. She sighed to herself and wondered again at her decision to make this outing.

"Are you having a bit of trouble, buddy?"

Elsa turned to the man who was suddenly by her side. "Who…who are you?"

The mountain man shrugged and ordered a cup of ale. "My name is Kristoff, but that doesn't matter. I asked you—are you having a bit of trouble, you know, with your woman?"

The Queen was stupefied, not knowing what the man was talking about. "I don't know what you mean?"

Kristoff rolled his eyes. "I saw the way you were looking at the ladies, buddy. Come on now, confess it."

Elsa shrugged her shoulders. "What makes you think I have one?" Her drink found its way into her hand again and she downed it in one fluid move.

"You don't have girlfriend?" Kristoff turned to Elsa and slapped her shoulder. "My you're a puny one, aren't you? Are you even old enough to be in the army?"

The Queen blanched and punched the annoying man in the arm. "Yes, I am."

"Ouch! All right, I get it. You're the man." The mountain man ordered another ale and gave it to the young soldier. "What's your name?"

Elsa hesitated for a second, aghast that she had forgotten this one crucial aspect of her disguise—a name, a male name. "Ah…my name?"

Kristoff downed a good portion of his ale. "Everyone has one, buddy."

"Hans—my name is Hans."

The mountain man stuck out his hand. "Kristoff. Nice to meet you Hans."

Elsa was glad when the handshake was over, and turned back to the bar. "Do you want something, Kristoff?"

"No, I don't want anything. But I'm thinking you do." He leaned over and whispered in her ear before picking up his drink and walking away.

When the man was gone, Elsa let out a ragged breath. She had never felt so flustered as she did right then, with what the mountain man had whispered in her ear. Was he serious? Could she? The Prancing Pony? She knew the name of the place immediately. She had heard some of her male staff talk about the place on a few occasion when they didn't know she was listening. It was a brothel. Elsa placed her gloved hands around the cup and stared at its amber contents.

Could she? Is this what she wanted? Did she want just one night with a woman, to let her passions finally have reign over her? If she had not been in public she might have had the urge to cry. Is this what she was reduced to? A dithering pack of nerves, standing in a tavern, and contemplating taking on a prostitute?. Elsa sighed again and downed her drink. It felt good, to give herself over to the amber nectar. It seeped to her bones as she stood there, and it lowered her inhibitions, and seemed to spur her legs on as she placed her empty cup on the table, and turned to walk out of the tavern.

Elsa found herself outside of The Prancing Pony, staring at its door, her heart at war with herself. A part of her wanted to immediately walk away, go back to the castle, and never do anything like this again. And yet, still, was that tinier voice—a small one, but one that demanded to be recognized—that told her to go right in. And again she questioned her motivation. It was true, she was lonely, perhaps even a bit maladjusted by such loneliness, and she craved simple human contact.

The Queen whimpered and ran a gloved hand over the hood she wore. Any and all rational parts of her mind gave over to the needs of her body at the moment and before she could stop, she had opened the door and walked right in.

A rather small fireplace, and several candles on the mantle dimly lighted the parlor. There were men sitting in wooden chairs in front of it, and they appeared to be hiding their faces, like they didn't want to be recognized. Elsa noticed that there was a desk at the other end of small room, and a woman was sitting at it, apparently reading a book.

Elsa cleared her throat and coughed into her hand. The woman at the desk looked up and smirked. She goaded, "What can I do you for, soldier?"

The Queen didn't exist anymore—only the soldier. It was the soldier who walked into the room, and it was the soldier who knew what "he" wanted. Elsa walked up to the desk without fear and bent her head to the woman. "You know why I'm here."

The woman chuckled. "I know, honey. But what I need to know is what exactly are you looking for?"

Elsa was stumped, at first not understanding the question being asked. Then it hit her with the force of an actual blow. What was appealing to her? She had never considered that particular question before. She knew she ached for a woman's touch. But whose touch?

The woman at the desk took pity on the young man, and stood up from the desk. "Come with me…"

It wasn't a command, neither was it a question. Elsa understood that and followed the woman through a door that led to another room. And in this room she saw her, sitting amongst the other women in the room, a sight that arrested her movements, and she froze to the spot she was standing at.

The woman who was guiding her noticed as well, and she indicated for the auburn haired girl to stand up. When the girl stood and looked at her Elsa's breath caught in her throat.

"Anna, get over here."

Elsa took exception to the older woman's tone and glared at her. "Don't…"

"Look, fella, do you like the package or do you want something else?"

The girl, Anna, didn't like it as well. "I told you—stop talking about me like I'm some piece of meat."

Elsa's voice was hoarse, and it showed her dislike of the matron. "She'll do."

And before she could fully register what was happening to her, Elsa found herself in a small room with a single bed in it, and the young woman known as Anna had taken her hand.

Elsa couldn't help but stare at the young woman. She was so beautiful that Elsa wondered what she was doing in a place like this. Her red hair was parted into two braids that hung down both sides of her face, and her freckled face was untarnished by either make-up or bruising. She had a sweetness about her that broke Elsa's heart.

Anna took the gloved hand of the soldier and led him over to the small bed, but she paused. "Are you okay? "

Elsa didn't move and continued to look down to hide her face. Finally she spoke, "What are you doing in this place?"

Anna sighed. She had heard this question before by less than ideal men. Men who lamented upon seeing her youth but still had the gall to bed her without further ado.

"Look, you seem like a nice guy, but I'm not paid to talk to you. So, why don't you—"

The Queen was in agony, and wished that she had met Anna in any other circumstance other than this. In fact, she just wanted both of them to be anywhere—strolling down the street, down the castle halls—and not here.

Elsa made a rash decision, and removed her hood. "I'm not a guy."

Anna gasped and her hand immediately went up to cover her mouth in her surprise. "Is this some sort of joke? Because you…you—OH MY GOD!"

The Queen immediately grabbed Anna around the waste and placed her hand on the young woman's mouth to hide her scream. She backed them up against the wall. "Please, Anna. Please don't scream, okay? If I take my hand from your mouth will you promise not to scream?"

Anna's eyes went wide and she slowly nodded her head, all the while not quite believing what her eyes were telling her. Elsa slowly removed her hand and then backed up until she stood a few feet from the young woman. "You know who I am, don't you?"

Anna in her confusion fell to her knees. She nodded profusely. "I'm gonna be in trouble, I know it…oh, my…Your…Your Majesty—are you going have me arrested?"

Elsa, in shock, sank to bed and held her head in her hands. "I'd have to arrest myself, don't you think?"

Anna swallowed hard and fiddled with her hands. "I can see what you mean, Your Highness."

Elsa looked up and shook her head. "I don't feel particularly like a 'Highness' now, why don't you call me by my given name, Elsa."

"Sure—Elsa."

"And please, get off your knees, girl."

"Only if you don't call me 'girl'—I'm Anna."

"Anna…" Elsa liked the name, it flowed from her mouth like warm honey, and melted her stony insides. She glanced at Anna. "I don't know why I'm here."

Anna peeked at the Queen and was taken by her beauty. "You are—why are you here? I mean, I can't imagine why someone so beautiful as you would be here at brothel. Did I say beautiful, what I mean was—yeah, I guess you are."

Elsa turned her head and regarded Anna. "I was just about to ask you the same question—again."

Anna lowered her head. "I guess we all make mistakes, some of us more than others."

"What did you do?"

"Trusted the wrong person. He left me with no money and I ended up here." Anna jumped to her feet. "I can't believe I'm talking with the Queen of Arendelle right now. No one is ever going to believe me."

"I am hoping this can be a secret, just between us," Elsa lamented.

"Okay, but, Ingrid knows you're here."

Elsa pointed out her uniform. "All she knows is that a soldier is here, not a woman, and definitely not me."

Anna nodded, then folded her hands in her lap. And then a few moments of awkward silence descended between them. Both were not quite sure what the next move was, or how to engage the other.

"I'm sorry I scared you." Elsa reached over and took the young woman's hands in her owned gloved ones. "I'm so sorry, Anna."

Anna blushed and lowered her head. She whispered, "You don't have to be sorry for me, your Maj—I mean, Elsa."

Elsa frowned. "But I can be. I can be sick at heart that you're here doing this to earn your living."

Anna stood up and walked away from the bed, a sudden feeling of regret washed over her. The Queen was right in that this was no way to live. And, the truth be told, she had come to hate it over the months. "I have no skills…what else can I do?"

Elsa was at a loss. By all rights she should not even care about the young woman. But the truth was that she did—it was irrational, it didn't make any sense to her, it didn't fit with her well-balanced life—but there it was. The little redhead had managed to do what no one else had. Break into that wall of ice, that solid stone of loneliness that surrounded her, and melt her heart—in only a matter of minutes.

The Queen noticed that Anna was watching her. Was she expecting to…?

"Excuse me, Elsa, but…well…I do need to make some money tonight."

To Elsa it felt like a slap. She immediately stood up and rearranged her clothing. "I guess I'll just leave…"

Anna's hand shot out and touched Elsa's shoulder. "Please…"

And all the years of pent up frustration, lonesomeness, and isolation hit Elsa at that very moment. She pulled the smaller woman to her and brought their lips together. Their first kiss was clumsy, gawky, and didn't last nearly long enough to be enjoyed by either woman.

Elsa jerked back from the kiss and stared, wide-eyed, at Anna. "This is what its like…oh, my…"

Anna shook her head, and whispered, "What do you mean?"

"To touch someone, to feel hands, and lips…this is what I've been missing." Her words were choked out, like a sob.

Without thinking, Anna grabbed the Queen and pulled her into a tight hug, and let the woman ride out her grief and sorrow. Anna closed her eyes, and her heart reached out, much in the same way as Elsa did, to wrap the Queen in a veil of compassion and understanding. She did not know how long they stood like that, but it seemed to united them in an extremely powerful way.

After awhile, Elsa calmed enough to take in a large breath before wiping her eyes with a sleeve. "I don't know what to say," she rasped.

Anna merely smiled and lifted her head to the taller woman. She closed her eyes and parted her lips in the hopes that Elsa would understand.

The Queen did and lowered her lips to Anna's. The kiss was gentle and unhurried, and Elsa moaned slightly at the intimacy it afforded. She tightened her hold, and wrapped her arms around Anna's waist.

Anna reached between them to the clasp holding up Elsa's cape and un-hooked it; it puddled around their feet.

Elsa rested her forehead on Anna's. "What are you doing?"

"Wouldn't you rather be comfortable, Elsa?"

"Yes, I would."

They kissed again, and Anna ran her hands over the uniform coat Elsa wore. She began to un-buttoned it, leaving feather-like touches on the skin revealed. Elsa whimpered when Anna's hands grasped the material and pulled it over her shoulders. And Elsa gasped when Anna slowly undid the buttons on her remaining shirt, leaving her in just her pants and boots.

"Anna…"

Anna placed a finger on Elsa's lips. "No, no talking, my Queen. Let me love you…"

And Elsa did.

Elsa rested her head on Anna's naked shoulder, and sighed when the redhead placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"I think you are really amazing, Anna."

"You do?" Anna blushed and pulled the blankets up around their shoulders. "I'm surprised that Ingrid hasn't come marching through that door."

Elsa raised her head. "Why would she?"

"We are taking such a long time, don't you think?" There was mirth in Anna's tone, and she grinned.

Elsa chuckled. "Well, I don't know, are we?"

"Yes, my Qu—Elsa, we are. But I don't mind." Anna frowned slightly, as the reality set upon her. "I, um, really don't want this to be over."

The Queen rolled on top of Anna, and brought a hand up to cup her face. "It doesn't have to be…" she whispered.

Anna heard the words, but could not dare to believe. "I'm a realist, Elsa, I know someone like me is never gonna…"

"I am Queen, Anna, and I can make anything happen." Elsa sat up and brought Anna with her. "I want to take you away from this."

Anna lifted her hands and caressed Elsa's cheeks. "Oh, my Queen, you are so lovely to want to do this. But, we just met, and I'm your first…you'll meet other people who will capture your heart."

Elsa's eyes widened as she could not believe that she was not being taken seriously. "What if I end up wanting only you?"

"How could you?" Anna was becoming frustrated. "I'm a prostitute, Elsa. I could have serviced members of your own household."

The Queen's enthusiasm died with the truth of Anna's words. I would never work, but, at this exact moment, it was a lovely yet heartbreaking dream. Elsa cringed, her walls building back up, and she rolled off of Anna.

"I better be getting back to the castle." Elsa's voice was devoid of emotion.

Hours later, the Queen walked the Halls of Arendelle castle and dreamt a dream of what could have been, but wasn't. Striking auburn hair, impossibly blue eyes, and a warm smile haunted her vision. Anna had said she was a realist, but Elsa at that moment did not want to be one, and so she made plans for another outing into the town. To find the one who had opened her heart.

The End…or the Beginning…?