Summary: John shares something with Helen.
Pairing: Helen and John
Rating: T
Disclaimer: I own nothing of the awesome show Sanctuary or Helen and John.
EM VIBRATIONS:
Helen had been sitting in the window for most of the evening just thinking, just feeling what it could mean for her mortal death to be creeping up on her. Adam/Hyde was now locked back up on Med Level while she was feeling the extent of her illness. She and John had just come back from getting the real Keystone and finding the gateway. There was nothing more to do until Dawn when she would go to the gateway to rescue her father. Just or one night she wanted everything to stop; all her thoughts, all her muddled emotions; everything. She thought about giving up, letting the radiation ravage her body, and inevitably kill her. Death had been what she wanted ever since Ashley gave her life. And then she had looked into John's eyes in Mongolia while sitting under a beautiful sunset and death wasn't what she wanted anymore. His smile brought back her will to live, to survive.
Looking away from the glass Helen saw John coming down the hall. She couldn't help but to smile at the sight of him. He was back in the loose while cotton shirt and the khaki pants. John looked amazing to her eyes. Helen sat up a little more moving her feet so he could sit facing her. But that wasn't what he was going to do. John sat down beside her draping his right arm around her so her neck would have some support. "What are you doing?" He asked.
Just watching the lights flicker to life in the city." Helen pointed as another one joined all the rest. The city seemed so alive.
John shifted to his side taking her left hand in his, "I want to show you something." He took her hand and placed it palm down against the glass.
"John, what…?" Helen was confused. She had felt glass before, it was cold and hard.
"Just wait for it." He replied smiling at her.
Helen was about to protest again when she felt the subtle vibrations against the glass. She laughed. "What is causing this?" Helen asked. The feeling was traveling up her arm bringing her nerve ending to life with a new sensation, new feelings.
"The EM shield actually." John answered. "When the shield is on there are subtle vibrations everywhere. I can feel them," He spoke softly. John ran his finger tips down hers and continued, "It's travelling down your fingers, over your hand, through your wrist, and up your arm." John laughed when Helen pulled her hand away from the glass trying not to laugh at the light tickling of his fingers. Once again john took her hand and put her palm down on the glass.
Helen tried to keep her heart from swelling with warmth at the feeling of John's hand on hers. She shifted to right side moving closer to the glass to allow john more room, only he moved with her, keeping his chest against her back. It felt good to have him there with her again. "Is this what you feel every time you're here and the EM shield is raised?" Helen asked lacing the fingers of her right hand with his. Right now she didn't want to think, she only wanted to feel the warmth of John's arms, of his body against hers. This was how her life should have been.
"Every time you raise the EM shield my whole body comes to life. I can feel the fluctuations of the shield more so than anyone else because it was designed to keep me out." John slid up the bench just a fraction of an inch so he could rest his chin on top of Helen's head while placing his left hand over hers once again.
"Once you set your mind on something, nothing can keep you out." There was warmth in her voice as she spoke that one undeniable truth. Helen locked her eyes with his reflection and smiled a genuine smile of warmth and affection. Ever since John had told her that he loved her, Helen had thought of nothing else, of trying to let go of some of her anger, her past pain in regards to John. The final straw was when she had been in Cambodia, seeing him in such a poor state, near death. It had broken her heart.
John tightened his right hand around hers as some of his inner shields came down. She was showing him a side she had kept hidden from him; she was showing the woman not the scientist. This was his woman, the woman that still loved him. As much as he longed to hear those words from her, John knew she had to say them in her own time, when she was ready. "Is that a note of affection I hear?" John teased.
"No," Helen tried not to blush. "I was just stating a truth." She averted her gaze. John was doing his best to gain entry into her heart again, and he was succeeding. She was letting him in again. As dangerous and she knew him to be her heart still wanted him with all the love she knew she could give him. Except, fear kept her at bay, kept her just out of his reach. It kept her out of the reach of the happiness she knew she could have with John. But for that happiness to take hold she would have to be cured of the radiation poisoning and he would have to be free of that energy elemental that had made their life a torment.
John dropped his left hand from hers and tentatively slid his over her stomach curling his fingers under her right side. He felt her stomach muscles tighten and tried not too smile. "Do you want me to remove my hand?" John whispered his question. He wanted to touch as much of her as she was able to while Helen was still comfortable with him being so close.
Helen's heart beat faster in her chest as is hand slid slowly over her stomach. She felt warm, safe. He asked if she wanted him to remove his hand. Helen replied, "No, you don't have to." She took her hand from the window grasping his upper arm. A few seconds passed before she put her hands back to the glass to feel the vibrations again. It felt so odd to know that the EM shield caused all the windows to thrum with subtle vibrations. She was beginning to get sleepy just feeling them and John near her. Helen once again had her comfort zone, John's arms. With the last shred of conscious thought she possessed Helen looked at John's reflection and saw he was sound asleep behind her. Smiling Helen followed him down into the release of sleep feeling safe and secure.
THE NEXT MORNING:
John woke the next morning with the sun shining down on them. Helen was still asleep in his arms and he had not the power to wake her. Settling back down John freed his left hand from around her waist so he could toy with a lock of her dark brown hair. The simple act of playing with her hair took him back to a time when, on mornings she woke before him, Helen would toy with his hair. More than anything it was the subtle twirling on her finger around his hair that woke him. John smiled at the memory as he continued to play with her hair. He would continue until she woke up.
Helen woke to the sun cutting across her eyes and John's fingers playing with her hair. She turned her head into John's right arm trying to keep the bright now from her still sleep heavy eyes. "Make it go away." She groaned.
John laughed, "Make what go away?" He asked. John had almost forgotten what she was like when she first woke up.
"The sun," Helen replied turning her face back to the window where John's left hand covered her eyes. The gesture just made her laugh.
"There, all gone." John chuckled covering her eyes with his hand. A few seconds later Helen was laughing with him. Taking his hand from her eyes John urged her to turn towards him.
Helen rolled onto her left side to stare at John. His eyes were alight with happiness that she couldn't help but be happy as well. John smiled at her cupping the side of her neck with his free hand. He leaned in to kiss her and Helen automatically turned away. She heard him sigh. This time when she turned to face him she immediately took his lips in a light but passionate good morning kiss. Tearing her lips away Helen tried not to breathe too hard. She cast her gaze down, though staring at his chest wasn't the best thing to keep her heart rate down.
John gently placed his lips to her forehead dropping light kisses from one side to the next. He wanted to stay like this for the rest of the day, only he knew Helen would leave his arms and fall back into the routine of working too hard while trying to avoid him while everyone else was around. Still, he was happy to have these unguarded moments with her like this where he could touch his lips to hers and not be rebuffed or snarled at.
"I can't believe we slept here all night," Helen mused pulling back to look him in the eyes. "Though, I guess it was easy since you fell asleep before I did." She chuckled. Seeing his face relaxed in sleep brought back so many happy memories of when they had shared the same bed Helen hadn't the heart to move from his arms last night.
"It's comfortable here and comfortable with you in my arms." John replied smiling at her. He was just waiting for her to leave. And yet, here she remained in his arms in the window seat just being happy in the little world they had created.
Helen pulled out of his arms so she could sit up and stretch. "I should go. I have lots of work to do before we…" She turned and tried to get up but Johns arms came around her trapping her against his chest with his lips at her ear. His arms around her broke her resolve to leave. That was the power he had over her, over her body. He could possess her fully if he chose, but he would never take away her choices. John always abided her wishes.
"Stay, please. I'm sure the rest of your house is still asleep," John kissed the edge of her ear "Stay with me a little while longer." He pleaded. John didn't want her to leave. He didn't want her to take the warmth from his arms, from his heart. She was the one person keeping the darkness from taking from his soul. Helen would be his redemption one day, but today she was his lifeline to sanity. He didn't want that feeling to end.
"Just a few more minutes," Helen consented letting her body fall back into his arms. Truthfully Helen hadn't wanted to leave; she wanted some sign in his part that he wanted her to stay with him. John kissed up and down the side of her neck making her smile with even greater affection. She sighed at the feeling, warmth spreading over her skin just at the contact of his lips. This was the life she wanted, a life with John by her side. For her to gain that life they had a long road a head, a very long road. But it was road she was willing to travel in order to once again have the man she so deeply loved.