Once upon a time, there was a boy toy named Troy and a shy but sweet brainiac named Gabriella. They just so happened to be staying at the same lodge during a traditional family vacation. The two stereotypically beautiful people fell madly in love after "Starting Something New" together. After the magic they became the school's hottest couple, however…disaster struck!
One day Chad came into school with a wildcat. "I decided to be full of spirit!" he exclaimed gaily as he held on tightly to Dule the wildcat's leash.
"Chad, you idiot!" Sharpay yelled as she came up for air from the current make out session going on between her and Ryan. Ryan pulled her through a door and everyone cringed at the noises that emanated from the supply closet.
"Okay…" Gabriella said as she 'Eskimo-kissed' Troy's neck.
"Dule's such a good boy!" Chad said petting his wildcat lovingly, until Dule bit off Chad's hand. "OWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!" Chad screamed running off like the little pansy he was. "Ryan!!! Kiss it and make it better!!!!!" he yelled as he ran to the supply closet door. He threw it open and was shocked at what he found. "I thought you loved me!"
"He loves me more!" Sharpay gasped out.
Chad ran out yelling about cheese and microwaves as he waved his wrist stump in the air.
While this was going on, Dule noticed that his leash wasn't being held anymore, and he lunged towards Troy, and brought him to the ground. Troy tried to punch him, but Dule's fur of steal simply broke his fingers. Dule proceeded to bite into Troy's stomach and such until he passed out, and Kelsi ran over. She karate-chopped Dule's butt and he keeled over, dead.
Then, Kelsi proceeded to rip off her shirt, wrap Troy's organs in them and sow him back together using strands of her hair and some bobby pins for the sutures. Afterwards, she turned towards Gabriella, who had fainted, and rolled her eyes. Kelsi kicked Gabriella away until she was but a heap of bruised brunette in the corner.
Troy looked at Kelsi with adoring eyes and began making out passionately with her. They were all but having sex when Ms. Darbus walked in followed closely by Mr. Bolton. Both looked extremely disheveled, with their clothes askew and their hair a mess. "Oops!" she giggled in a very Un-Darbus-like manner. "It appears this room in occupied…" Then she turned and the two stumbled back out of the room.
Gabriella slowly came to and saw Troy making out with Kelsi. "You biotch!" She screamed then turned and ran out of the room. She ran all the way to the science room, where she found Taylor giving a little strip tease to no one in particular. Instead of turning and running away, she leaned against the door to watch her best friend take off all her clothes.
She sexily whipped off her bra and threw it towards the open window and turned around, breasts askew and noticed Gabriella. Gabriella glanced up and down her friends body, taking in her hello kitty thong that matched the bra she had tossed out the window.
After two solid minutes of staring at her, Gabriella finally made eye contact and managed to say, "That's hot…" as she began walking towards Taylor
Taylor smiled at her and tossed her hair. "Oh, you know it girlfriend."
Gabriella raised her eyebrows, and began pulling her shirt over her head. Taylor giggled and slapped her ass. Gabriella stripped down to her bra and thong, both featuring the Telletubies, Lala lying suggestively on top of Tinky-Winky, while Po and Dipsy watched lustfully.
Taylor ripped the Telletubies off of Gabriella's breasts and dropped them to the ground.
Gabriella grabbed Taylor's waist and pulled her body closer so that every inch of them was touching. Suddenly, Zeke came in, followed by Martha Cox.
Gabriella and Taylor turned towards Martha then glanced back towards each other before turning again and pulling Martha in between them. They carefully undressed each other and as their moans grew louder, Zeke whipped out his camera and began to film them.
As he was doing this, Jason walked in holding a basketball. He stopped dead when he saw the girls together and felt his pants getting uncomfortably tight. Zeke turned and noticed this dilemma, which just so happened to match his own.
He dropped the camera and stepped toward the other teen, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him against him. They too became "dancing" in a not so G-rated way.
Meanwhile, back in the other room…
Troy had disentangled himself from Kelsi and gone off to find a better way to amuse himself. He strutted outside, trying to locate a familiar face, until he found Chad. Chad had collapsed under a tree, nursing his gory stump.
Troy sat down next to his teammate and they began talking. Suddenly, the wildcat returned and they both scampered up the tree.
Dule began climbing the tree and growling seductively at Troy and Chad. The two closed their eyes, praying that Dule would disappear, and then a large frozen man fell from the sky and smashed Dule, sending him to the ground in yowls of pain. Troy looked up, and more frozen men began pouring from the sky.
Monique, Martha, Gabriella, Jason, Zeke, Ryan, and Sharpay ran outside and saw the frozen men falling. They all broke out singing, "It's Raining Men" and performing perfectly choreographed moves. The girls who were all only in their underwear suddenly realized how cold they were and ran back inside to huddle together to keep warm.
The boy's then decided that they, too, were cold and followed the girls in. Troy and Chad jumped down from the tree, and Troy yelled, "Chad! Let's go play in the street!!!"
"Great idea!!!" Chad yelled back and ran towards the school, simply because he's stupid like that.
Troy ran out into the street and began doing pushups, when a bus came and squashed him like a pancake. Ms. Darbus and Mr. Bolton got out and giggled evilly, peeled Troy off the road, and threw him onto the school steps. Then, they made their gallant escape by grabbing hold of Ms. Darbus' umbrella, and flying away.
Gabriella rushed out in all her half-naked glory and began sobbing uncontrollably at her flattened lover. She turned and began sobbing onto Ryan's shoulder. They soon began kissing passionately until a frozen man fell and separated them. Everyone huddled together, leaping about and screaming whilst avoiding the frozen men.
Sharpay took a match out of her hair and magically made it flame. She held it to one of the frozen men's feet and thawed the ice. She pulled off his shoe, which happened to be a phone, and dialed 911. The ambulance flew down from the sky and landed on top of many frozen men.
Then really, really, really hot doctors ran out, picked Troy-the-pancake up and threw him into the ambulance and slammed the doors. The rest of the gang, all mostly naked, jumped on top of the ambulance so they could ride to the hospital too.
The group arrived at the hospital in a ridiculously short amount of time and they began running around, knocking over trays and shoving people around. Suddenly Dr. McDreamy walked out and all of them screamed girlishly and rushed towards him.
To be continued…