Hi! This is my second attempt at writing a longer Death Note-fanfic. I will try to post a part of this every day of this week, from Monday till Saturday. I am not sure I will succeed. This is the part Monday and I will post Tuesday as well. I want to post Wednesday, but I do not know whether I will make that in time.
I also posted this on DeviantArt, so if this looks familiar to it, check whether it's by FPwoper at dA, then it's me as well. I must admit I do not own Death Note or the song Higher High by Epica. I wrote this while listening to the song and therefore decided upon choosing this as its title. I am sorry for any mistakes in my English, it's not my mother tongue.
Higher High
October 31. His birthday.
If there was something he hated, it was his birthday. He really, really didn't like his birthday. One way or another, it was a day to celebrate. No way his would ever be celebrated. It could be his death, anyone other than Wammy knowing the date of his birth.
Everyone would be able to track him down. Okay, not anymore, since he had been deleted from the birth register, but it could be. There was a possibility anyone found out who he was and what he did.
So, this awful day would just have to pass like any other: working and working, only receiving an extra birthday cake and a whispered "Happy birthday" from Watari.
Only now he recalled he had once told Light when his birthday was, long ago, at the beginning of the case. He felt his whole world falling apart. Light, Kira, knew when his birthday was. Light would be able to find his name… and already knew his face. He started to panic slightly. No one could see him like this, thus he had learned to control his emotions and if he felt something remotely alike emotions, he would hide them. But Light… damn. That was a very, very grave mistake. He should never have done something like that.
He felt fear slipping through his mask and showing on his face. This was wrong, very wrong. Why should everything go wrong on this day? This particular mistake would be his downfall, really. Suddenly he knew what it was. His fears. Every day he felt them, but he had never had a real urge to pay any attention to them.
He stood from his chair and walked to the window, watching the light shimmer on the cars outside and catching surprised looks from the members of the Task Force. They hadn't expected L to move, or so it seemed. He stared and stared but didn't see anything except fireflies – of which he was sure they weren't there. He noticed some tears slipping down his cheeks. No one would ever love him… no one would ever pay any attention to him except those who needed his detective abilities… His fears were worldly like any other human's. He, the best detective in the world, was a human too and it was only now that he realized this.
He would die too and he felt it would be soon. All of those fears seemed to crush him and he… he was afraid. He felt like he was the small boy, clinging to Wammy's hands when he first arrived in Wammy's House. Never he had been afraid after that moment of something unknown. Wammy reassured him and told him everything he had to know to become a great detective, but not only these stories. He also learned about fairytales and mythology. Resurrection was something that bothered him, since it was physically impossible. Though he knew some believed it, he realized he would never be a fool like them. He believed some of the fairytales… they were so nice and so filled with love and happiness. He wanted to feel that once in his life.
Now… now it was his birthday, his 25th birthday. He was a quarter of a century old. He should have accomplished anything by now, but he hadn't. The thought was slightly depressing. The only thing he accomplished right now was being afraid of a day which should come very soon.
He didn't notice Light getting to his feet and walking over to where he was. Suddenly there was a hug from behind and a whisper in his ear:
"Happy birthday, L."