Hey there! So this is my first LevixMika fanfic! yay! I do hope you enjoy it; I had so much fun writing this. I got inspired I guess by some Lxm fan art I saw on Tumblr. I don't know.. I might continue this or write a story based on this.. depends I guess, I do have something in mind though. well then, enjoy!
Home again.
In my memories, I don't ever recall seeing him smile. On the day we met.. I saw a stoic young man with icy blue eyes.
I was five when I lost my parents. I had never seen him before but I figured he was a relative as a child services person called him "Ackerman." I was young but I understood. Whether I liked him or not, whether I knew him or not was irrelevant. It didn't matter because I had nowhere to go. I didn't have a home to go back to any longer. I didn't even know why he agreed to take me care of me in the first place. Thinking back, I don't know how it must have been for him, a young man to look after a child when he himself was just a teenager. Even then, I wondered what the reason behind his cold gaze was; It made him look somewhat older for his age. I still don't know the reason his eyes held something different from everyone else but there was something I was certain about, The world he knew and the world I knew then where completely different. Back then I couldn't begin to understand him I was just a child and even now Sometimes ,I still can't comprehend what he's thinking nor his reasons.
Little by little we became a part of each other's worlds. Or at least. He became a part of mine.
-They where on their way home from school when five year old Mikasa stumbled while trying to keep up with Levi's long strides. He stopped when he heard a thud only to see Mikasa flat-faced on the pavement. He didn't know what to do so he only watched awkwardly as she gave a small whimper, her small hands twitching for a few seconds before she slowly stood back up.
"I'm..sorry." She said pursing her lips before dusting her uniform.
"Why do you apologize?" Her equally stoic eyes met his. For a child to have such eyes.. It bothered him but he couldn't blame her after what she'd been been through.
"It's dirty now..." He looked at her small face now scraped. She also had scrapes on her knees and palms he noted. Any other child would be crying their eyes out. Such children annoyed Levi. But Mikasa was different, She was a strong child. Reflectively, He reached out and pat her on the head moving his hand as if he were petting a puppy.
"You're strong for a brat." That was the first time he'd ever complemented her. In a weird way..But she came to know he was like that.
It was then that I decided that I wanted to truly be strong. If I was to be with him, I didn't want to be a burden to him.
-Surprised, would be an understatement when she felt herself being lift up and more so cradled in his arms. Many things swirled in her small head. He'd never really acknowledged her before then. Besides that, he hated dirty things and she was dirty at the moment.
He resumed the walk home. She looked up at him in wonder but as always she couldn't tell what he was thinking behind that blank gaze.
"Won't I get your clothes dirty too?.."
"Is that complaining I hear, Would you prefer to walk?" His face looked annoyed but his voice didn't have a trace of it. She shook her head and leaned onto him. He was so warm. Warmth. It was something she hadn't felt In a long time.
With time, That young man became my most important person In the world. He gave me a home, he was my family and I loved him like a brother.
At least That's what she thought.
On my last year of middle school, I came home earlier than usual.
-Just as she was reaching for the door she heard Levi's voice. He's home early.
She was about to grab the door nob but halted when she heard a female voice speak. It was Levi's friend, Petra. It was wasn't her voice that made her stop it was what she said next.
"Levi..haven't you ever thought about having a girlfriend?"
For some reason Mikasas heart beat became faster. It was.. A bit painful too.
Rooted to the spot she let her hand fall.
"Not in the least. I don't have time for trivial things." he replied bored.
"So..if you had the time, you would?" Petra sounded a little nervous but she knew why, she'd noticed a long time ago. Petra had feelings for Levi.
Levi sighed "What is this all about Petra? If you have something to say please do get straight to the point." He sounded annoyed.
"Well I've just been wondering..I mean..haven't you ever thought about..I don't know..wanting to have your own family in the future?"
"I have no need for such thoughts, There are more important things I have to deal with."
"By that do you mean Mikasa?"
Mikasa heart drummed heavily on her chest. She wanted to leave! It wasn't like her to run away and she knew it wasn't appropriate to eavesdrop but regardless of what she wanted to do or what was proper or not, she couldn't move.
"It has nothing to do with her. What is it with all this Petra?"
Mikasa's heart clenched. Petra was right. It was something she had selfishly pushed to the back of her mind all this time but she knew; Levi had given up so much just to raise her. She was constantly reminded of that.
"I'm just worried about you. Listen Levi, I know how much you care about Mikasa but you have to think about yourself a little more."
While it was true that he cared for her he wasn't about to admit it,after all he wasn't one known for showing his emotions and he wasn't about to start now.
"Tch what the heck, care about that brat? I'm only doing this because I have a responsibility, because I owe it to her to her pa-"He stopped when he heard outside Eren's loud obnoxious voice call out the name of the very person they were talking about.
"Hey Mikasa! Why didn't you wait for us today?"
Levi quickly walked up to the door and opened it. How long had she been there?
So that's how he felt? And what was that about owing it to her? She broke out of her thoughts she realized the door had been opened. Petra who was sitting on a couch stood up abruptly and spoke nervously.
"Ah..Mikasa! Nice to see you. H-how was school today." She gave a nervous smile.
"It was a productive day." She answered as if she hadn't been there at all.
Levi stood without a word. Everything, everyone was still for a few seconds, The only sound was Eren's confused voice."What's going on?.." He spoke softly, his question more so directed at Armin as if he had the answer.
It hurt..somehow, it hurt. Why? She knew someday they would part ways. It was something she was prepared for then why? Why did it hurt. And the worst of it all was that she trully was a burden. Her eyes stung and burned.
Don't cry don't you DARE cry.
"I'm sorry I was just, I really didn't mean to.." Her voice steady but Levi saw as her expression for once; was like an open book. For a second, her sad expression broke through her facade but just as fast she quickly covered it up.
His heart clenched; he had hurt her and he cursed at himself for doing so. Fuck, You shit head..you had to go and screw it all up. His lips parted in an attempt to say something but before he could form any words Mikasa broke the silence.
"I..forgot something at school, I will be back later I should probably hurry before someone takes it. See you later Petra." Before she took off running Levi could still see it, the pain in her eyes. The pressure in his chest was so strange to him that for once it took him a couple of minutes to register what had happened. "L-levi?"
" ." He grit his teeth and took off after her. He had seriously messed up and that had caused the look on her face. He had caused it. He was the one responsible for hurting her. He was so angry, at himself.
.
.
.
.
She sat on a tree close to the playground in the park. The sun was setting; The view looked quite nice from up there. When she was young she remembered coming to this spot with Armin and Eren. Just as she looked down she saw Levi from afar. He saw me. She jumped down and she ran, she ran as fast as she could as fast as her legs could muster strength. Afterall, what was she supposed to do? what was she supposed to say? She just couldn't face him yet so she did the only thing her instincts told her to do...
She ran.
.
.
.
.
By the time Levi had ran after Mikasa she was long gone. He wasn't surprised. After that, he had spend quite some time looking for her everywhere until he finally saw her. She was sitting on top of a tree. As soon as she realized he saw her she jumped down and ran.
Tch That idiot.
She heard his voice."Hey Mikasa!" She pretended not to hear and kept on running. She knew she had a good amount of distance between them. I'm was so foolish to think I could ever belong somewhere again.
"Mikasa stop!" He sounded closer. He would eventually catch up to her she knew..so she stopped. There was no point in running away any longer. They stood for a few seconds before Levi finally spoke up.
"Mikasa..look..abou-" He didn't finish as she interrupted.
"I'm sorry..because of me you've had to give up so many things. I've just been holding you back. All this time, even though I tried not to.. I've only been a burden to you." She was glad her back was facing him because although her voice did not waver or break she did not know what kind of expression she had, she was trying so hard to hold in her tears.
Levi watched her back. That brat, who was she trying to fool. He knew she wanted to cry. Although she'd never shed a tear before he knew she was trying to hold back her tears...After-all, He knew her better than anyone else.
She felt herself being tugged by the wrist feeling a rush of air as she collided with something..or someone. That someone being Levi. "Listen up, I'm only going to say this once. What I said back there..It wasn't true, I said it because.. Damn I don't know." He sounded irritated.
Her eyes widened as she felt Levi hold her In what seemed to be an attempt at a hug. His hand laid atop her head. She would've never expected a hint of affection? From him. The only other time he held her was when she was a little girl. It was On that day.
"You fool, if I though you were a burden I would have left you a long time ago. You should know that by now." Did he really mean it? But..
"Levi, When you said you owed it to me, what did you mean?" It seemed like a sensitive matter but she didn't like beating around the bush.
He sighed and looked up at the sky as if searching for something. "There are many things I have to tell you, but right now is not the best time."
"When will the best time be?"
"When the time comes I will tell you everything. Please, trust me."
She knew he was being truthful so she closed her eyes as he held her. This time it felt different than that time. What had changed?
"I trust you."
I couldn't understand why my heart began to echo in my ears. Faster and faster; it drummed against my chest. At the time she couldn't understand why.
Ah..maybe I might be getting sick..she shrugged it off.
"Also, You don't have to hold it in. It's alright to cry once in a while." He felt her small palm clench on his chest and felt her move her head up a little. She looked up at him or at least attempted as his chest covered her vision. "Is it..really okay?" She heard his chest rumble as he spoke. He felt her tears soak his shirt but still, she did not make a sound.
"Yeah."
She cried for what she hadn't been able to all this time. Because she missed her parents, because she missed her home.
She soon stopped, quickly she wiped away her tears while Levi looked away with his hands on his pockets. She probably felt embarrassed as she had never before shown emotions so he decided to give her some space and begun walking ahead'
"Come on brat, The only trouble you've cause me is making me look for you everywhere." Mikasa felt her heart feel strange again; a light sensation, fuzzyn and warm.
"You've been..looking for me?"
If he had turned he would have seen the blush that betrayed her stoic features. Barely a whisper but he heard her familiar monotone statement and it made him feel strange, awkward maybe? He didn't know. "Tch. Hurry up or I really am leaving you behind."
Unbeknownst to each other, they both smiled. As she walked beside him, she was reminded of the warmth she felt that day he first held her. Of something important she'd forgotten.
That day I knew, I was home again.