Title: Click: Mio style
Genre: Humor/Parody
Rating: T, for language, and innuendo
Summary: Mio has discovered an object, a remote, that can fast forward, rewind, pause life, and fix anything. So she goes back to All Gods Village, to get her sister back the easy way. Of course, it can't work out the way she wants.
Setting: Let's just say this is based after Mio leaves the village without Mayu.
Notes: I haven't actually seen Click, but Mio with that remote amuses me greatly.
As an added bonus, the remote can do other things too, because I'm their God at the moment.
And this is not supposed to be serious. I'm going to throw in a lot of cracktastic junk, so be warned.
Back to The Village
Mio stumbled through the forest, scratched and bruise, but grinning. She had a plan. The most perfect, most ingenious plan in the history of all plans.
She had The Remote. She would just pause everything, find Mayu, un-pause her, and she was home free! She couldn't wait to go up to Sae. She knew exactly what she would do. She'd waltz right up to her amidst her bodies and crazy laughter, say 'Hey, Sae. Screw you,' and press pause. And then, just for shits and giggles, she would cut her hair, and use that rope to tie her to the Kusabi. Oh, having him around was all fun and games until you were tied to him.
Yes, that sounded perfect. She felt so very devious.
But it was then that a problem occurred to her. How would she FIND the village again? She had no idea which way to- Ok, never mind. Apparently they were sick of the lack of twins coming to their village and had put up signs.
'Free muffins at All Gods Village for anyone with a twin. Bring your twin.'
"I like muffins…but what kind?"
Another sign to the left read, 'They're blueberry.'
"Oh! I love blueberry! But…Mayu isn't here."
Yet another sign, this time to the right, read, 'It's fine, just come.'
"Ok. I was going there anyway."
So off she went again, following the flashing arrows, reveling in the music that was accompanying her. Oh, if only that sourceless music knew that nothing bad would happen to her.
Ah! Finally, she was here. She marched down the hill towards the village, a smug grin on her face. "Hi ho, hi ho, it's off to Hell I go."
Hm. Yet another problem occurred to her as she reached the bottom of the hill. She didn't know where Mayu would be. It was PROBABLE that she was at the Kurosawa house, but that just wouldn't be as entertaining as having her run all over the place. Now, all she had to do was press pause, and…Oh, crap.
Mio shook the remote, cursing and pressing pause again. It wasn't working! She flipped it over and gasped. No! The batteries had fallen out!
Nearly an hour she searched for them, but they were nowhere to be found. Nowhere where she'd already been, at least. So, she did want any smart FF: CB player would do. Go to Itsuki, and believe in the power of his white hair and suicidal ways, for it creeped out the other ghosts.
"Itsuki!" Mio shouted as she ran into the small courtyard, shaking on the bars and peeking in. There was a girly, enraged shriek from inside, and she covered her eyes.
"Sorry!"
After a few moments, Itsuki popped into view, glaring at her, "Why are you back? What the HELL is WRONG with you people? You escape, but you always come back. Are you retarded? Seriously?"
"I need your help!"
"Oh yeah, everyone needs Itsuki's help, but do you people take my advice? Do you really?"
"Uh…well, I was just wondering if you'd seen some batteries?"
Itsuki stared, and Mio sighed, "They're cylinders about this long, this wide around, and they're gold and black."
"Those are yours? I saw a bunch of the dead kids running around with them. They threw one at me, actually. But it bounced off my head and they grabbed it again and ran off to the cemetery…What's that?"
Mio held up the remote, "This is the answers to all my problems!"
"Oh…can it help me with mine?"
"I guess…but I need the batteries. Why? What problems could YOU possibly have?"
Itsuki was silent for a moment, staring at her, then rubbed his throat, "I've got this really bad pain in my neck. It's KILLING me."
"Oh…is that all? I think it can only fix BIG problems."
"Well, I miss my brother and either want him back, or want to kill myself for killing him the wrong way."
"But you're already dead."
"Yes, that's why it's one of my problems."
"I…see," Mio frowned and shook her head, "Anyway…I'll find the batteries and…try to fix that for you. I guess." So she left, now sporting a confused look on her face. What a strange guy.
Whatever.
To the cemetery!
------------
Mio ducked behind a gravestone, panting and holding the remote to her chest. She peeked around the side and gasped, stumbling back and staring up at the woman who stared down at her, her head tilted way too far to the side.
"You again…you're nearly as bad as Sae."
The ghost reached out, and Mio threw the remote at her in a last ditch attempt. It went right through, but the ghost turned to look at it curiously.
Mio made to run, but the ghost grabbed her arm to stop her, pointing at the remote, "What's that?"
Mio stared, then slowly bent down and grabbed it, "It's The Remote. It can fix anything."
The ghost looked surprised, then intrigued, "Can it really? Well, I've got a little problem I could use help with."
"Okaaay…what is it?"
"Well, I've got this really bad ache in my ankle. It happens when you've got ghost triplets, but it'd be awfully nice of you to fix it for me."
Mio just cocked an eyebrow, then sighed, "Fine…but you HAVE to stop trying to kill me. And I have to find the batteries first. They're these two-inch long black and gold things."
"Oh! The kids have it." She shouted loudly, making Mio screech in surprise and topple sideways. "KIDS!"
Three transparent, incredibly creepy children appeared out of nowhere, and the ghost held out her hand, "Hand over the girl's bat tree."
The kids whined and grumbled, but handed it over, and the ghost dropped it onto Mio's head, making the girl wince, "Thank you…"
"No problem, dear. Is that all you needed?"
"No, I need the other one."
One of the kids spoke up chirpily, "We dropped it through Chitose's window! She's too scared to come out, so we left it in there for her."
Mio cursed. Chitose, that little brat! No one but Kusabi played more unfair than she did. Turning of the lights like that.
"Ok, thanks. I'll be back later to fix your…ankle."
So she ran off to the Tachibana house. Once inside, she headed upstairs and frowned. What was that? Was that…music? Very annoying music at that.
She moved towards it, growing more and more murderous the more she had to listen.
'-if we all come together, we know what to do;
We all come together just for you.'
Mio twitched, moving faster down the hall so she could slaughter whoever was playing it.
'Sailorman, you really turn me on;
Now the guys are gone;
Come, let us get it on-'
She kicked down the door with an enraged battle cry, and was startled, and somewhat traumatized to see a boy, around her age, frozen mid-dance step. The music had stopped of it's own accord.
"Uh…if you forget you saw this, I won't tell Sae you're here…"
"Fair deal. Uh…who're you?"
"Mutsuki."
"Hm. Mutsuki…why does that sound familiar?"
Mutsuki sighed and gave her a few more minutes to think. After she'd listed off all the wrong reasons as to why it would sound familiar, he rolled his eyes.
"I'm Itsuki's brother. Y'know, depressive albino in a cage?"
"Oh, yeah! So, while you're here, Itsuki has this problem he wants me to fix. He misses you and wants to see you."
"Well, maybe if he bothered to keep in touch," Mutsuki grumbled, then frowned when Mio gave him an odd look, "And…didn't kill me, I guess? But come on! Would it hurt him to pick up a pen?"
"No, I just don't think he could…Anyway, come with me, so I can get my other battery and get you to Itsuki. I don't want to have to play tag with your sister again…"
"Ugh, I HATE playing tag with her. She cheats!"
"I know!"
And thus begins Mio and Mutsuki's grand quest for the Second Battery!
Is anyone SCARED yet? Did anyone actually run from this rubbish? If not, my sympathies to you, 'cause chapter 2 is coming soon.