SEHNSUCHT
PROLOGUE
The sky was a watercolour painting, a purply blue canvas with peachy pink stains framed by the tall houses of Pankow. The sun sank behind the horizon, Berlins rooftops bathing in an orange glow. Nothing could be heard but the rustling of the leaves in the trees above him and the monotone sound of cars driving past. A soft summer breeze made his fingers tremble around the trigger. The man before him looked like he had already died, face almost as grey as the pavement he was lying on.
"Well?" A harsh sound, driven past sneering pale lips, long limbs stretching, empty plastic cups and wrappers cracking underneath him as he struggled to push himself up, like a wounded snake ready to strike. "Do it then."
Even though the face before him was familiar, skin spun tight around high cheekbones, it was still twisted with a malice he had not seen on there before in all of his 24 years of age. "Kill me."
The man was panting harshly, red eyes, sunken back in layers of shadowy skin, burning as if they were the windows of hell.
The gun, just as silvery and obnoxious as Gilbert Beilschmidt himself, was cold and heavy in his hands, it shone dimly in the last beams of sunlight. He watched as it shook in his fist, brain numbed with fear, wondering how they had ended up like this, two broken savages bound by blood crawling around on Berlin's pavements like cockroaches.
Gilbert chuckled at his hesitation, the sound cutting straight through his bones like a frozen knife.
"Come on, it's easy, einfach, ist es nicht?" He taunted, slipping into his mother-tongue, chapped lips curling into a mocking smirk, revealing yellowish teeth. He crawled forward, close enough to touch his captor, not even wincing when the gun was pressed against his head.
The look in Gilbert's eyes as he spoke again was unlike anything he had ever seen, wide eyes looking up at him from underneath either side of the gun, fear masked by the eerie hysteria and adrenaline that came with the use of joy powder dominated by the dazzling feeling of triumph as he knew how to push his opponent's buttons just right.
"Easy enough for a murderer like you."
He didn't say it accusingly, or taunting, he just stated it, cold and unforgiving, and it was enough to blur the lines between reason and insanity. The signature cackle Gilbert had meant to add right after his statement in order to twist the knife some more was cut short by a loud crack. His captor watched with a burning feeling of satisfaction as the man fell back against the pavement, the blood on his face matching his devilish eyes.
"DU BIST EIN VERDAMMTES SCHWEIN!" He vaguely registered Gilbert's thin hand clutching his wrist as if trying to stop him but he paid it no mind as he brought the gun down on his face again, and again, and again-he only stopped after he felt something in his own fingers snap, the numbing pain bringing him to his senses again, crushing him with the horrifying realisation of what he had done.
Gilbert's fingers were still closed around his wrist, he could feel them, ice cold against his own heated skin, leaving marks that he would feel forever. His heart pounded in his throat as he kept his gaze downward, afraid to see what he had done, but the bloody metal in his stained hands provided little comfort.
"You destroyed me...You destroyed everything.." He whispered hoarsely, struggling to breathe as tears stung into his eyes.
The grip on his wrist tightened. "Es tut mir leid." The teary-voiced apology was barely audible, but it was there along with thin fingers soothingly stroking the back of his hand. "Es tut mir leid," Gilbert spoke again. „Ich weiß das du mich nie verziehen kann, aber es tut mir leid"
He let out a sob, gripping his Gilbert's hand tightly. "Es tut mir auch leid, Gilbert." He sobbed, closing his eyes, tears rolling over his cheeks. "Mein Gott, please forgive me.."
Gilbert did not answer, instead he placed their entwined hands, the gun laced in-between their fingers, over his heart.
„Töte mich, Ludwig."
Ludwig cried and pulled the trigger.
AUTHOR'S NOTES
Einfach, ist es nicht? = Easy, isn't it?
Du bist ein verdammtes schwein! = You are a damn pig!
Es tut mir (auch) leid = I'm sorry (too)
Ich weiß das du mich nie verziehen kann, aber es tut mir leid = I know you can't ever forgive me, but I'm sorry
Mein Gott = My God
Töte mich = Kill me
Hello and thank you for reading the first chapter of my fanfic! Okay so let me tell you a little bit about the fic. This probably will not be a happy story. Sure, it will have it's moments of fluff and happiness, but for the most part it's going to be pretty dark. I'd also like to add that except for this prologue, this story will almost entirely be from Gilbert's POV. So that's that. Thank you again for reading and I hope to see you at the next chapter :)