Hi, before we start, this is dedicated to Wish I Was a Pirate, who said something in a pm that inspired me to write this, and inspiration always deserves credit ^^

Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama. I just own my terrible original characters ;)

After convincing the network to blow a countless amount of cash on a machine that generates original characters, and even twice as much on advertising after that, Chris Mclean was ready to begin the new season of Total Drama.

The middle-aged man stood on the beaten-down dock of Camp Wawanakwa, that most recently survived a flood, surrounded by a dozen or so camera man, the expensive machine that was sure to make this next season a hit, and his trusty partner, Chef Hatchet. They were about to do the lead-off for the premier, and he couldn't have been more excited about it.

"Hey, brahs, we're kicking off the next season of Total Drama with you, the viewers, deciding who gets on the show by submitting your own original characters to compete in challenges! Now, let's get started."

The host pulled out a stack of submissions and began to read them aloud to the camera as Chef plugged the information into the OC generator.

"Okay, first up, we have a submission from Zokeyluv7734!" Chris said as he read the contents of the slip of paper. "The name of their contestant is Elsa Anna Sadtears? Uh, Chef? Am I reading this right?"

"Sounds stupid to me, Chris."

"Right. Well, it says here that Elsa Anna Sadtears is very, very beautiful, and most guys tend to be attracted to her, but she is NOT a slut, or a bitch, or anything. In fact, Elsa is a sweet girl who has a tragic backstory that will be revealed later on the show. She is sweet, smart, and capable of anything! And is liked by most contestants...Elsa is also totally friends with everyone, and doesn't judge anybody because she knows how that feels. Uh...okay," Chris said unsure of how this was going to go after reading the bio. It was only the first one, however. "Chef! Start up the machine!"

"I still think that this is stupid," Chef Hatchet grumbled as did what he was told. After a few seconds, a beautiful, blonde girl popped out of the OC generator.

"Hello, Elsa," the middle-aged man greeted.

"Hello, Chris. I am so happy to be in this place after all that I have been through!" She said, smiling at the host.

"Well...great. Anyways, brah, I'm not sure if the name 'Elsa Anna Sadtears' will be good for the ratings, so I'm going to change it to Mary Sue! You just hang out on the dock with Chef or whatever while I get more contestants," he said as Mary Sue nodded and began singing a perfect cover of the show's theme song.

"Anyways," Chris said to the camera, "the next bio we have comes from Duncanfanforver!"

"Do they mean 'forever?' These idiots can't even spell!" A camera-man called out, causing Chris to laugh.

"Let's see. It says here that the camper's name is Gothica, who is a bad-ass punk rock girl that falls in love with Duncan. Duncan loves her so much that he buys her flowers and chocolates and sings her songs. The ideal ending for Gothica is that she and Duncan run off and get married, followed by them having twelve kids and running a church in the states." Chris gave the camera a strange look, when he was finished reading the submission. "Uh, good luck with that one, dude."

"Half of that stuff can't even happen because the criminal boy is in prison," Chef barked, not wanting at all to create Gothica.

"Yeah. You see, kiddos, we are in another lawsuit with Courtney after the whole Owen fart-bubbles incident from last season, so we can't really have Duncan on the show right now. Besides, even if we did, he would be totally out of character, so uh, NEXT," he explained, tossing the application to the ground and then reading the next one.

"Here, from hahahaham, we have Willy Drogo! Willy, on the surface, seems like a totally normal kid, except for one thing, he is a wizard wh-"

"Now that is the stupidest darn thing that I have ever heard! There ain't even magic in this world," Chef interrupted.

"Exactly! So, Willy kind of can't exist. Sorry, dude."

"Chris, are you sure this is a good idea? We only have one character and she is too boring."

"Yes! This is great for the ratings! People love to see their own characters compete!"

"Actually, boss, the ratings so far are going down…" A nervous intern informed Chris after viewing the stats. This was the last thing that the host needed if he ever wanted to appear on Figure Skating With the Stars again.

"Uh, who said the intern could speak? Get me another frap, man" he ordered before reading the next submission. "Up next, from Callitoriginal, we have Lindsey! She is a blonde, blue-eyed girl, but unfortunately is kind of dumb. Lindsey has a nice heart, but is very forgetful, failing to remember her own boyfriend's name on many occasions," Chris sighed. This was going no where. "Well, Lindsey seems nice and all, but unfortunately, we already had a Lindsay, and it is pretty much the same Character. Not cool."

"Yeah, if Chris wanted the idiot back then he would talk to the bossy chick's lawyers!"

"Exactly. So, moving on." The next submission, Chris read. The reread. Then tried to read again, before passing it to Chef. The Application in question looked like this:

Submittor: omgluvtd4evr

Character Name: LilyTanner personality: spoiledmeanbi tchy girl Who manipulaltes herwaaaaaaaaay2 the top three but it doesn;tj stop there she alsdo steals and cheatss an d evenutally kills chris mclain Appearance: she is a gindger so obviously she looks really innocent and stuff but she is totly evil and no one wuld see it coming this is a good app please don't pick on me i'm only tihrteen

"What the heck does this even mean?"

"Uh, I dunno. So, next!" The host grabbed another OC biography, annoyed that he hasn't found one yet that would be good for the show. "This app is from mosley1997, and the Character's name is Rob. Rob is a smart, athletic, musical guy, who, despite the odds, makes it onto this show and tries his hardest to compete. He gets along with everyone, and due to the fact that he is good at everything, makes it to the finale."

"Rob is just like the first lady!"

"Yeah...you're right! He's unusable too. Let's just take five guys," Chris decides, realizing that maybe he should talk to Courtney's lawyers.

A/N: Hi, guys. I have noticed that nearly every story on this site now is a syoc, or oc story.

A lot of the original characters seem to be Mary Sues, or a watered-down version of characters already on the show. I'm not saying not to make OCs, and I don't want to be that guy, but if your character is exactly like a contestant that already exits, then why not try to make a story with that character?

Also, I have a huge problem with stories that make great characters, like Duncan, completely ooc. Duncan would not fall in love with Gothica, and shouldn't be written in a way that almost makes him a totally different character in order to do so.

Also, with the submission with the bad grammar, that is a huge, frequent, problem. Guys, review your story and it's formatting on fanfiction before you publish it, and if you need a beta, I, and plenty of other people are willing to help.

Just something to think about, I guess.

Love, Jen.